Adommy Fanfic: Can't help falling for you 7/?
The beautiful art made by my wonderful and talented friend bloodyrosered. Thank you so much!
Chapter seven
Tommy wakes up with a groan. Hangover, once again! He takes a look on his clock and he shrugs. He slept the whole day, it’s almost evening. And his mouth tastes like something died in there. And he is tired. He gets up and walks over to his bathroom. He feels better after a shower and after brushing his teeth. So much better.
He had too much alcohol last night and he doesn’t remember everything what happened after he left Adam. But he knows there was this girl, whose name still doesn’t display in his memory. And he made out with her in the alley behind this bar. The memory is flashing across his mind. This was stupid, he could have been seen with her. And worst of all: she was a stranger and they were alone in a dark alley! He should try to be more careful. He takes his phone to see whats going on. He missed some calls, nothing important. But he shrugs when he sees that he has got like 200 tweets.
Shit! Probably someone has seen me. Maybe she put something on twitter?I am really stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
And with a sigh he starts to check his tweets. The first ones are nothing interesting, the same stuff as everyday. But then he sees this one:
“@tommyjoeratliff Have you seen this one? WTF?”
And Tommy closes his eyes and he mutters: ”Fuck, there are pictures from yesterday! I am such an idiot!” And before he can think straight or look any further on the other tweets, he clicks on the link right behind the text. And then his face drops.
Because there are not pictures of him. No, it’s Adam. Adam sitting with Sauli in an restaurant. Adam holiding hold hands with Sauli. Adam smiling on Sauli. Adam whispering something in Saulis ear. And there is Saulis hand on Adams neck. They seem to be so close. Maybe there is even more to see, but Tommy doesn’t want to see more. He throws his phone over the room without a care if it will break or not.
And he resists the urge to call Adam to ask what this is about. Because it’s none of his business. And it would be stupid to ask why Adam didn’t tell him that he will see Sauli. They don’t owe each other anything. But still he feels the jealousy creeping over his body and it hurts. But he is not drunk, so he won’t cry. He doesn’t want to cry at all. And his heart is aching and he doesn’t have a clue how to get over it. But he knows he has to. He wants to be a friend.
Adam looks so happy. He must be happy to see Sauli. I should be happy for him. I really should. But I’m not. And I hate this. It’s like I would betray him. Pretending to be a good friend who is happy for him. But I am so far away from beeing happy for him. I just can’t!
He feels awful. He doesn’t like to be like that. He doesn’t like to pretend. He wants to be honest. He would like to say to Adam, that Sauli isn’t the right man for him. And that Adam is acting foolish to take a chance on Sauli just because he is there. That he is stupid not to wait for a love coming with a big bang. He should have said this yesteraday, but he didn’t. And now Adam is with Sauli and he will probably fall in love with Sauli, because Sauli is so easy and perfect. Tommy rolls his eyes about himself. He shouldn’t think like that about Sauli. Sauli is not an enemy. He is just a guy who fell in love with Adam Lambert. Nothing Tommy is feeling right now is Saulis fault. He can only blame himself.
But now it’s too late for regrets. Too late to say what he should have said yesterday or even a while ago. He has to deal with the consequenses by himself. He just have to find a way to let Adam go. And he has to find a way to get over Adam without letting Adam know that something is wrong. So hopefully he will have some time until they will see each other again. And hopefully he will be able to prepare himself.
And he falls back on his bed. And he decides that today is the last day he will wallow in self-pity because of Adam. Really the last day. Tomorrow he will start a life without thinking about Adam this way. Without wishing it would be him on the pictures holding hands and hearing whispers and smiling happily. He will be only a friend with just friendly feelings towards Adam. And he will also be a friend with Sauli. Maybe not a really good one, but still a friend.
But today he wants the pain to swap over him. And he can feel the dark emotions crawl up his spine. And he welcomes the tears and the feeling of knots in his stomach. And he is laying on his bed and he feels like his heart is exploding. And he has troubles to breathe until he can just let the pain take control. And the pain is overhelming and dark. And he feels like something inside of him is dying. And it hurts. And a part of him wants the pain to stop and wants to shout and punch something or someone, but he stays on his bed. He knows he has to get through it. So he is gripping the sheets and he lets the tears flow. And he stays like this the rest of this day and the whole night. And in the morning he is so tired, he just falls asleep.
But he knows, he doesn’t feel better than the day before. And he has doubts that he won’t ever cry again because of Adam. And he knows that his broken heart is the price he has to pay when he wants to stay Adams friend. And he knows he will pay. And one day he will wake up and he will be over Adam. He will.
Hopefully.
Chapter seven
Tommy wakes up with a groan. Hangover, once again! He takes a look on his clock and he shrugs. He slept the whole day, it’s almost evening. And his mouth tastes like something died in there. And he is tired. He gets up and walks over to his bathroom. He feels better after a shower and after brushing his teeth. So much better.
He had too much alcohol last night and he doesn’t remember everything what happened after he left Adam. But he knows there was this girl, whose name still doesn’t display in his memory. And he made out with her in the alley behind this bar. The memory is flashing across his mind. This was stupid, he could have been seen with her. And worst of all: she was a stranger and they were alone in a dark alley! He should try to be more careful. He takes his phone to see whats going on. He missed some calls, nothing important. But he shrugs when he sees that he has got like 200 tweets.
Shit! Probably someone has seen me. Maybe she put something on twitter?I am really stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
And with a sigh he starts to check his tweets. The first ones are nothing interesting, the same stuff as everyday. But then he sees this one:
“@tommyjoeratliff Have you seen this one? WTF?”
And Tommy closes his eyes and he mutters: ”Fuck, there are pictures from yesterday! I am such an idiot!” And before he can think straight or look any further on the other tweets, he clicks on the link right behind the text. And then his face drops.
Because there are not pictures of him. No, it’s Adam. Adam sitting with Sauli in an restaurant. Adam holiding hold hands with Sauli. Adam smiling on Sauli. Adam whispering something in Saulis ear. And there is Saulis hand on Adams neck. They seem to be so close. Maybe there is even more to see, but Tommy doesn’t want to see more. He throws his phone over the room without a care if it will break or not.
And he resists the urge to call Adam to ask what this is about. Because it’s none of his business. And it would be stupid to ask why Adam didn’t tell him that he will see Sauli. They don’t owe each other anything. But still he feels the jealousy creeping over his body and it hurts. But he is not drunk, so he won’t cry. He doesn’t want to cry at all. And his heart is aching and he doesn’t have a clue how to get over it. But he knows he has to. He wants to be a friend.
Adam looks so happy. He must be happy to see Sauli. I should be happy for him. I really should. But I’m not. And I hate this. It’s like I would betray him. Pretending to be a good friend who is happy for him. But I am so far away from beeing happy for him. I just can’t!
He feels awful. He doesn’t like to be like that. He doesn’t like to pretend. He wants to be honest. He would like to say to Adam, that Sauli isn’t the right man for him. And that Adam is acting foolish to take a chance on Sauli just because he is there. That he is stupid not to wait for a love coming with a big bang. He should have said this yesteraday, but he didn’t. And now Adam is with Sauli and he will probably fall in love with Sauli, because Sauli is so easy and perfect. Tommy rolls his eyes about himself. He shouldn’t think like that about Sauli. Sauli is not an enemy. He is just a guy who fell in love with Adam Lambert. Nothing Tommy is feeling right now is Saulis fault. He can only blame himself.
But now it’s too late for regrets. Too late to say what he should have said yesterday or even a while ago. He has to deal with the consequenses by himself. He just have to find a way to let Adam go. And he has to find a way to get over Adam without letting Adam know that something is wrong. So hopefully he will have some time until they will see each other again. And hopefully he will be able to prepare himself.
And he falls back on his bed. And he decides that today is the last day he will wallow in self-pity because of Adam. Really the last day. Tomorrow he will start a life without thinking about Adam this way. Without wishing it would be him on the pictures holding hands and hearing whispers and smiling happily. He will be only a friend with just friendly feelings towards Adam. And he will also be a friend with Sauli. Maybe not a really good one, but still a friend.
But today he wants the pain to swap over him. And he can feel the dark emotions crawl up his spine. And he welcomes the tears and the feeling of knots in his stomach. And he is laying on his bed and he feels like his heart is exploding. And he has troubles to breathe until he can just let the pain take control. And the pain is overhelming and dark. And he feels like something inside of him is dying. And it hurts. And a part of him wants the pain to stop and wants to shout and punch something or someone, but he stays on his bed. He knows he has to get through it. So he is gripping the sheets and he lets the tears flow. And he stays like this the rest of this day and the whole night. And in the morning he is so tired, he just falls asleep.
But he knows, he doesn’t feel better than the day before. And he has doubts that he won’t ever cry again because of Adam. And he knows that his broken heart is the price he has to pay when he wants to stay Adams friend. And he knows he will pay. And one day he will wake up and he will be over Adam. He will.
Hopefully.