Fic: Breaking the Frame [TVXQ RPS | AU] (1/2)
Title: Breaking the Frame
Fandom: TVXQ
Pairing: Yunho/Changmin then Changmin/Yunho
Rating: NC17
Summary: Changmin is an otaku with a crush on the hero of his favourite yaoi manga, Cutie Honey Funny Bunny. He’s resigned to one-dimensional lovin’ until the day he finds Bunny very much in three dimensions and eager to relieve Changmin of his virginity.
Notes: AU. PWP. Complete crack. With tentacles. For a_happy_twat's prompt on the kink meme, with lots of kissing for almond86 ;) For those unaware of Go Nagai's work, this is my favourite version of the original Cutie Honey, although I think Yunho would do a better job of filling out that costume.
Breaking the Frame
Changmin hurries along the street, head down, both arms clasped around the thin plastic bag and the priceless treasure it contains. Okay, maybe it’s not priceless because he just paid four hundred thousand won for it, but it’s rare. Rarer than rare. Rarer than dragon’s teeth. Rarer than the four-page My Girlfriend is an Alien House Cat mini-comic with the screen tones printed in the wrong places. Changmin has two copies of that. But this-this beauty he’s just bought... it’s one of only fifteen copies in the entire world.
It’s taken him months to track it down. A doujinshi of this calibre hardly ever surfaces for sale on the open market. It’s something whispered of in internet chat rooms, and occasionally a low-quality photograph of the cover is posted, only to be deleted a few hours later. Changmin had never expected that he might be able to get his hands on a copy, but thanks to a friend of a friend of a colleague of the owner of the comic shop that Changmin frequents, finally he had the opportunity to buy this doujinshi for himself.
He straightens up as he approaches the bank where he works, twisting the handle of the plastic bag around his fingers. His heart is racing as if he’s trying to sneak porn into the workplace. Technically that’s exactly what he’s doing, but he focuses on the fact that the manga isn’t just some mass-produced yaoi smut-it’s Art.
Changmin is very fussy about which manga he reads these days. The line art has to be beautiful and the story has to be engrossing, or it has to make him laugh, and he needs to fall in love with the hero. The latter concern is the most important, because Changmin has never had a real boyfriend or a real girlfriend-an accidental drunken snog at the office Christmas party two years ago hardly counts. When he was younger he’d tried to be normal and went on a handful of dates, but it never worked out and now here he is, a geeky bank clerk with a manga collection that threatens to pull down the walls of his apartment, and he’s still a virgin at the age of twenty-four.
But that’s okay, because he has the ultra-rare Cutie Honey Funny Bunny doujinshi, and nothing else matters.
He goes to his desk and sits down. Glances around to see if anyone is looking. They’re not. Changmin opens the bag. Puts his hand inside and inches the doujinshi out halfway so he can see the cover. He takes a quick breath, pulse thudding as he peeks at the full colour artwork.
Oh God, it’s even more incredible than he’d imagined.
Cassiopeia, the writer/artist of Cutie Honey Funny Bunny, has stated in several interviews that, despite his name, Bunny would never bottom. ‘He’s far too manly for that,’ she’d said, which only led to a rash of doujinshi featuring Cutie Honey Funny Bunny giving it up to just about every other character in the series. Changmin has all of those doujinshi, but most are printed on inferior stock or the line art lacks skill. But this one-this one-oh yes, this doujinshi is drawn by Cassiopeia herself and it depicts Bunny as the uke.
Rumour has it that Cassiopeia produced the manga as the result of a drunken bet. She’d retrieved nine of the fifteen copies and burned them, or so Bunnysgrrl92 claimed on one forum, although Honey_Fan had said on another site that Cassiopeia had just locked those nine doujinshi in a bank vault.
The fact is, no one in any of the chat rooms where Changmin spends most of his time has ever seen more than that crappy photo of the cover, and so speculation as to the content of the doujinshi was just that-speculation.
But now Changmin can see for himself, and he’s so excited he’s trembling. He knows how fucking sad and tragic that makes him, but he doesn’t care. He gazes at the doujinshi in its protective sleeve, stares at the cover image of Cutie Honey Funny Bunny’s alter ego, Jung Yunho, splayed naked and wanton on a beach with a huge multitasking octopus going at him in a parody of Hokusai’s shunga print The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife. One tentacle is gagging Yunho; another two tickle at his nipples; a fourth spirals around his waist. The fifth tentacle is wrapped around one thigh, spreading his legs wide apart. The sixth and smallest tentacle coils around the base of Yunho’s dick while the octopus stuffs the rest of his cock in its hungry beak, and tentacles seven and eight are buried deep inside Yunho’s ass, giving him a good shafting.
Changmin wriggles in his seat. Aw crap, he’s getting turned on just from the cover art. He pushes the doujinshi back into the bag and tries to distract himself. Maybe if he staples his hand or something. He pulls the paperwork for a loan agreement towards him and reads it three times before giving up. There’s no way he’ll be able to concentrate on anything until he’s looked at the doujinshi again. Just the first couple of pages. He won’t read the whole thing. He wants to savour it, and a hasty skim-through at work won’t be enough for him to appreciate every line and curve and tone.
But still. A few pages won’t hurt. Maybe four. Just so he can find out how Yunho got entangled with the octopus.
He still has fifteen minutes before the end of his lunch break. No one will care if he reads the doujinshi, but Changmin doesn’t want to look at it here in the office. It seems sacrilegious, and besides, someone might walk past and see what he’s reading and they just wouldn’t understand.
He gets up, tucks the plastic bag under his arm, and meanders towards the back of the office. His first thought is to go to the bathroom, but that’s not really private enough and besides, he doesn’t want to expose the doujinshi to germs or toilet lids that haven’t been cleaned properly. No, there’s only one real option-amongst the old files in the basement.
Changmin goes downstairs. The basement is musty and drowned in shadows, lit by a few flickering fluorescent tubes that hum at an irritating pitch. He moves between the stacks and settles in the section labelled Personal Loans 1969-1979. Elbowing a couple of boxes out of the way, Changmin clears a space on a shelf at waist height. He slides the doujinshi from the plastic bag and then removes it from its protective sleeve. Making sure he has enough light to see clearly, he lays the manga on the shelf and takes one more look at the cover image.
He’s glad Yunho is depicted there. Yunho hasn’t had nearly enough covers.
Cutie Honey Funny Bunny fans are divided between those who prefer Yunho and those who prefer Bunny. Several flamewars have broken out and things got very nasty on one forum and about thirty people had their posting rights suspended, though some of them were socks. Changmin thinks it’s all a bit ridiculous really, considering that Yunho and Bunny are the same person. They both fight crime, although Yunho is a cop and Bunny is an intergalactic time-travelling detective who solves problems with sex. Otherwise they’re the same. Except Bunny has different coloured hair. And fewer clothes. And he’s a lot more chirpy than Yunho. But that’s because Yunho has suffered a traumatic past in which his work partner, who was also his lover, was killed by a bad guy who is so evil that no one knows his identity yet.
Changmin thinks he likes tormented, brooding men. Not that he’s met any in real life, but that’s what manga is for.
Yunho, unlike Bunny, hasn’t had a love interest in the one hundred and twenty-eight issues of Fap magazine that serialises Cutie Honey Funny Bunny. Changmin likes to think this is because Yunho is secretly a uke in denial, whereas Bunny is toppy as all fuck. The very notion of this duality infuriates many fans, but it’s provided Changmin with hours of pleasure, all of it self-administered.
This doujinshi is like the Holy Grail. Proof that Cassiopeia has looked deep within her heart and recognised, even if it was through a drunken haze, that Yunho is a uke. And even if this acknowledgement is only ever expressed in this one super-rare, twenty-four page doujinshi, it’s enough.
Changmin can’t wait any longer. Anticipation riots through him. Taking a deep breath, he carefully opens the doujinshi.
The story starts with Yunho walking on the beach. He looks sad, no doubt lost in thoughts of his tragic past. He kicks the sand and then notices something at his feet. It’s a sea cucumber. Changmin is sure this holds profound significance in the overall arc of the manga, but he doesn’t want to think too much about it. He just wants to get to the good stuff.
A POV shift. The octopus lurks a short distance away. It spies Yunho alone on the beach and begins a stealthy wriggle through the waves. Its beady eyes are full of dangerous passion. Its tentacles undulate as its desire rises.
Changmin turns the page. His gaze skitters over the rampaging octopus breaking free of its panel and reaching out with its groping tentacles. Briefly he admires the way the lust-crazed cephalopod catches Yunho by the ankles and drags him onto the wet sand by the shore. With remarkable skill, the octopus rips Yunho’s clothes off. Changmin whines with excitement at each lovingly rendered panel as Yunho is stripped naked. Waves lap at Yunho’s thighs and splash over his chest. He looks furious and, when he sees the octopus advancing upon him, tentacles writhing, he looks afraid.
Changmin gives up reading the scant dialogue and internal monologues. He studies the next page, catches his breath as Yunho tries to fight off the horny cephalopod. Why doesn’t he transform into Cutie Honey Funny Bunny and save himself? Changmin doesn’t think he cares right now. He turns the page, hand shaking, and stares at the sequence in which the octopus secretes some sort of aquatic lube and shoves one big tentacle deep inside Yunho’s ass.
Changmin’s heart pounds. His breathing is sharp and shallow. It’s warm in the basement amongst the files, but that’s not why he’s sweating. He licks his top lip, tastes the perspiration there. It’s salty and sweet, and he imagines Yunho’s ozone-kissed skin would taste the same.
Usually when he reads Cutie Honey Funny Bunny he puts himself in the position of whichever lucky character Bunny is fucking. Today he wants to be the octopus. He’s never wanted to be an octopus before and tentacle porn has never been one of his kinks, but now that’s all changed. He wants to have thick, muscular tentacles with wicked little suckers that bruise flesh. He wants to shove his tentacles inside Yunho, split him in half with his massive marine strength, wants to leave a trail of love-bites with his suckers and his sharp little octopus beak.
Unhh, he has to touch himself. Changmin unzips his trousers and shoves his hand inside. His cock is hard, the tip already leaking. He’s been wanting this since he first looked at the cover. He squeezes his dick, takes a firm hold, and begins to work it.
In the next sequence, the octopus wraps a tentacle around Yunho’s waist to hold him still as it molests him with all its other legs or arms or whatever the hell they are. And then it draws up its eighth tentacle and forces it in alongside its biggest tentacle, and it fucks Yunho good and hard, rams into him with such force that Yunho is ground into the sand. His back arches and he thrashes about helplessly, impaled on the ravaging tentacles.
But that’s not the hottest thing about this page. Even hotter than non-con tentacle beach sex is the panel that shows a close-up of Yunho’s face, of his agonised, conflicted expression as he takes the tentacle-fucking. Because in that panel, his eyes glimmer with tears. Yunho never cries. Never ever. This octopus has done the impossible and made Jung Yunho cry.
Changmin wishes with every atom of his being that he could be that octopus, that he could hold Yunho in his arms/legs/tentacles and witness those perfect, beautiful tears for himself.
“Oh,” he gasps, trying to stifle the sound. “Oh, Yunho,” and he comes hard.
The pleasure fades all too soon, replaced by absolute horror. Oh fuck, he’s just spurted all over the pages of the doujinshi, and though it’s not the first time he’s jacked off whilst looking at Cutie Honey Funny Bunny, it is the first time he’s not used protection. Shit shit shit, this is a disaster. Panic blurs his vision, and Changmin uses his shirttails to mop at the pages. Thank God the stock is sturdy and the print fairly stable. Even so, some of it transfers onto his shirt as he tries to clean up, and he winces at every dab and wipe. He is such an idiot.
The best thing would be to leave the doujinshi open to the air so the pages dry. Okay, the paper will be all stiff in places, but if he returns the manga to the bag, the pages will just gum together and that’s something he can’t even bear to contemplate. He doesn’t want to leave the doujinshi down here, but it’s the safest place for it right now. Changmin pushes it to the back of the shelf and surrounds it with boxes. Shamefaced, he returns to the office and continues with his work.
At the end of the day, he pretends to be engrossed in filing insurance claims and waits until his colleagues have left before he goes back down to the basement to retrieve the doujinshi.
But it’s not there.
Changmin spends frantic minutes searching for it. It’s not where he left it. The boxes are still in the exact same places, but the manga has gone. It’s not on the floor. It’s not slipped down the back of the shelf, and neither has it fallen between the stacks. He checks everywhere, but he can’t find it. The awful truth dawns.
Some bastard has stolen his doujinshi. Changmin vows that when he finds the scumbag responsible, he’ll scrape their skin off with sharpened spoons, like Bunny’s nemesis the evil Chef of Michelin in Fap #27-34. Then maybe he’ll make a rug out of their flayed flesh, like the equally evil Pasha of İrtah in issue 85.
His rage and plans for revenge last until he goes out into the cold night air, and then they all shrivel away. It’s raining, and Changmin has to wait half an hour for a bus and then he trudges home, numb with his loss. Now he wishes he’d actually read the dialogue rather than just looking at the pictures. He wishes he hadn’t been stupid enough to jerk off over page five, because he still doesn’t know why Yunho had been captured by the octopus and why he hadn’t turned into Cutie Honey Funny Bunny.
His life sucks.
Soaked to the skin, his hair dripping wet, Changmin pushes open the door of the apartment block and collects his post. The lift is still broken, so he walks up six flights of stairs. He’s exhausted and miserable by the time he reaches his apartment. He goes inside and switches on the light.
“Hello!”
The post scatters from Changmin’s hands. He backs up against the door, a cry of fright trembling in his throat.
Someone is lounging on his bed. No, that’s not right. Cutie Honey Funny Bunny is lounging on his bed. Naked. And three-dimensional. Real.
Changmin squeaks, slides down the door, and ends up in a heap on the floor.
“Hello!” Bunny says again, sitting up and smiling his utterly brilliant, heart-stopping smile.
“Wah,” says Changmin. “Hrgh. B-B-Bunny?” He doesn’t know why he’s even bothering to check. He knows it’s Bunny and not Yunho because, well, he’s naked and that’s always a giveaway, plus his hair is all fluffy and it’s a golden-pinkish-red hue. Not much of a disguise but it always seems to bamboozle the baddies. Or maybe that’s just the sight of Bunny’s sexy chest and long legs and massive cock, and, well, just his overall total nakedness.
“Oh. You fell down,” Bunny says, looking concerned. “Let me help you up.” He bounces off the bed. ‘Bounce’ being the operative word in so many senses. Changmin tries to burrow backwards through the door. He’s not seen this much non-inked, non-screen-toned flesh on display since he watched Deposits & Withdrawals, that porno about working in a bank, which had upset him because it didn’t match his experience at all.
“It’s okay! I’m fine!” Changmin starts to crawl back up the door, but Bunny is right in front of him and has one arm around Changmin’s waist, lifting him to his feet. They press together, hot naked Bunny against Changmin’s neat, corporate, rain-drenched suit. The wet fabric drags at him; he can only imagine how it feels over Bunny’s skin. Oh crap, this is turning him on. Changmin tries to think of something depressing like foreclosures, but it’s not working.
His head spins. Bunny smells of sex, or at least Changmin imagines this is what sex smells like. Sort of musky and warm and with some sort of addictive trace-scent that makes him want to fall down again and roll over and spread his legs. He’d never imagined that Bunny would smell quite so appealing, maybe because he’d got so used to breathing in the pulpy scent of paper and the sharpness of ink whenever he’d read Cutie Honey Funny Bunny.
It’s making him feel faint. And it’s not just because of Bunny’s scent, either. This is the first time Changmin has been held so closely by anyone since he was nine years old. Back then it was because he’d fallen off his bicycle and his mum had given him a cuddle to stop him from crying. He kind of wants to cry now, but for a completely different reason. It still hurts, though.
“Hi,” Bunny says, smiling so much his eyes crinkle in a really cute way. “I should introduce myself, since I’m naked and you’re wet and we’ll be fucking in less than two minutes. I’m-”
“Bunny,” Changmin croaks. “You’re Cutie Honey Funny Bunny.”
Bunny wrinkles his nose. “Actually, you can call me Yunho. It’s like the worst-kept secret ever.”
“But,” says Changmin, “but Yunho is- You’re not- It’s different. Even though it isn’t. Like Superman and Clark Kent. Batman and Bruce Wayne. Iron Man and Robert Downey Jr. It’s... it’s easier for me to think of you as Bunny. While you’re like this.” He gestures vaguely. “With the hair. And the nakedness.”
Maybe it’s his imagination, but Changmin thinks Bunny looks the slightest bit disappointed. Then Bunny smiles again and says, “Okay. Glad we sorted that out. Let’s fuck.”
Changmin tries desperately to stall. “Uh, I didn’t tell you my name yet. I’m-I’m Changmin.” He has a brief mental image of himself in chibi form with hearts in place of his eyes, squealing And I’m your biggest fan! Though right now maybe ‘I’m your lamest fan’ would be more appropriate.
“Changminnie.” Bunny takes his hand and starts to pull him across the small apartment towards the bed. “C’mon, let’s get to it.”
“Why?”
Bunny stops. Blinks. “Because this is what I do. I materialise in a dimension where there’s a problem that needs solving. I identify that problem by having sex. I then resolve the problem by having sex, thereby saving my love interest and the secondary character(s)/biosphere/habitation/era/galaxy by having sex.” He beams. “Changmin, there is no problem in any reality that cannot be solved by having sex!”
“I don’t know about that,” Changmin says. “I mean, I know that’s your usual modus operandi, but...”
“I was summoned here for a reason. Obviously that reason involves sex. Therefore-” and Bunny resumes towing Changmin past teetering piles of manga towards the bed, “we may extrapolate that we need to have wild monkey sex right now.”
Changmin has no idea what wild monkey sex entails but he thinks it probably has nothing to do with the Discovery Channel. “Er,” he says, “what happens if we don’t have sex right now?”
Bunny stares at him, clearly perplexed by Changmin’s reluctance to throw himself wholeheartedly into hard, sweaty coupling. “Then I suppose a species of some cute fluffy animal will become extinct or a planet will explode or a sun will go supernova. That’s usually what happens if I don’t get my leg over or if I fail to please my love interest du jour.”
Changmin whimpers. Great, a fuck or die situation. It’s one of his favourite tropes to read, but it’s not so much fun when he’s the one who has to put out. Not when he has absolutely no experience. If Bunny is going to save the world yet again, then he should have a worthy partner. Someone desperately good-looking with a fantastic body and loads of sensual charm and lots of clever erotic tricks. He shouldn’t have to screw a too tall, too thin bank clerk with sticky-out ears and hair that’s a bit too long because he’s too shy to make an appointment at the hairdresser’s.
“Changminnie,” Bunny says, and he’s looking at the limited edition Trash Mecha Battle Demons clock with all the combatants in place of the numbers, “Changminnie, do you realise that we’ve been talking for approximately seven minutes and we are still no closer to rutting like crazed beasts?” His expression is one of utter bewilderment. “This must be the longest time I haven’t had sex. It feels so strange.”
“That’s not true,” Changmin says. “In issues 42 through 45, you got hit with that anti-sex pollen. You had to go without for quite a while.”
Bunny frowns. “Yes, but I still made sure my love interests got off. My tongue is a perfectly good substitute, you know. And I give great hand jobs. Here, let me demonstrate-”
Changmin steps back. Oh, he’s so not ready for this. He’s trying to work out the least humiliating way possible to admit that he’s a virgin when finally-finally-Bunny’s outfit materialises, slinking over his body to leave him more or less clothed.
“Biker Bunny,” Changmin says, staring at all the leather. “Issue 56!”
“Hmm.” Bunny strokes a hand over his thigh, tugs at his leather jacket. “The smart-suit is slow to work in this dimension. It should recalibrate much faster than that.”
Changmin thinks of issue 14, in which Cutie Honey Funny Bunny’s smart-suit had failed to recalibrate to any setting, leaving poor Bunny completely naked for the full forty pages of the manga. That was one of his favourite issues and he has six copies stashed beneath his bed.
The smart-suit shifts again, cycles through the outfits for Rock Star Bunny, Ninja Bunny, and Aquaform Bunny before it settles into its standard calibration of a very snug-fitting all-in-one bodysuit that appears to be made out of a combination of leather, PVC, ribbon and mesh. It’s all black except for the silvery decorative elements that serve no real purpose other than to accentuate the length of Bunny’s legs and the sexy, solid muscle of his thighs, and part of the top, which is hot pink and slashed open to reveal a goodly expanse of Bunny’s chest. His arms are bare and he wears one leather glove for no apparent reason except it looks hot.
“That’s better.” Bunny gives a wriggle. “If we’re not going to be shagging any time soon then I may as well be decently dressed so as not to offend your sensibilities.”
“Uh.” Changmin decides not to mention that the smart-suit is so tight that it doesn’t exactly hide a great deal anyway. “I don’t think we should do anything until we work out why you’re here.”
“Duh,” Bunny says, tapping his head. “We already discussed that. You plus me equals fuckfest.”
“No, I mean-why are you here?”
Bunny stares at him. “Is this some kind of philosophical quandary? Do I have to answer this question in order to fuck you? Are you going to ask me about my favourite colour and what’s the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”
“What? No. I just...” Changmin knows he’s running out of options. He’s going to have to admit his humiliating secret to the most shagtastic man ever created. “I just want to know how you got here. Did you-” it’s so embarrassing to have to ask this, “did you sort of... arrive through my doujinshi?”
“The one you were wanking over at lunchtime?” Bunny tilts his head and gives another of those killer smiles. “I guess so. But who cares how I got here? I’m here now, and that means there’s a problem to be solved, so I should have sex with you in order to diagnose both the issue and the solution. And by the way, sixteen minutes now-so please can we cut the chat because I’m really horny and I absolutely have got to have you really, really soon.”
“But,” Changmin says. “But the doujinshi was about Yunho.”
Bunny’s smile wavers a little. “I forgot you didn’t get past page five. I turned up on page sixteen.”
“Did you fight off that octopus?”
“Why are we still talking?” Bunny bounces back onto the bed and pats the place next to him. “Come here and let me fuck you into the mattress.”
Funny how dirty talk sounds much hotter in the manga. Changmin wonders what’s wrong with him. He has no idea how he should behave. Not even with an encyclopaedic knowledge of one hundred and twenty-eight issues worth of Bunny’s love interests. He can’t measure up to any of them. Even the nanobots from issue 97 that assembled into the Irish android Rusty Niall had greater coital experience than him, and they’re nanobots, for fuck’s sake.
“I’m beginning to think you don’t find me attractive,” Bunny says, looking the teensiest bit cross. “I guess the fact that you jerked off over my alter ego should have been a sign.”
“I’ve jerked off over you, too!” Changmin protests. “Lots of times. I’ve done myself looking at you more times than I have whilst looking at Yunho. But that’s just because Yunho doesn’t get naked very often. There’s only been three gratuitous shower scenes and you couldn’t see much in any of them because of the artfully placed wisps of steam. I was so disappointed I set up an online petition of complaint and we got 187,698 signatures. Though I think some of them were socks.”
“So,” Bunny says, frowning, “if you fancy both versions of me, why are you standing over there looking like I’m offering you a root canal without anaesthetic?”
Changmin casts around for an excuse that might actually work. “I think we should get to know each other first.”
Bunny gives him an odd look. “Why?”
“Because.” Changmin flails. “You can’t just expect me to have sex with you.”
“Everyone else does,” Bunny says.
“Well, I’m not everyone else, okay?” Changmin can hear the upward slide of his voice and he winces at his gaucheness, his ineptitude, his total and utter fail. “Sometimes a fantasy shouldn’t become reality. Because it might-it might be too intimidating.”
“Look,” Bunny says in soothing tones, “I’m not going to lie, I do have a big dick-but it’s completely in proportion with the rest of my body.” He pauses. “Almost.”
Changmin sighs and sinks down on the end of the bed. “That’s not what I meant.”
“What, then?” Bunny wriggles across the duvet, curls an arm around Changmin’s waist. Leans in and puts his chin on Changmin’s shoulder. “You can tell me. It might be part of the problem that I’m here to solve.”
Bunny’s logic seems inescapable. Changmin squeezes his eyes shut tight. “I’m... I’m a- I’ve never done this before. Never had sex.”
“You’re a virgin?” Bunny doesn’t pull away from him. Doesn’t point and laugh. If anything, he cuddles closer, and his voice is full of wonderment when he says, “I don’t think I’ve ever had a virgin.”
“Issue 69,” Changmin reminds him with a wan smile. “The Prince of Sampo.”
“Mm, yes.” Bunny makes a dismissive sound. “Technically he was, but he’d received extensive pleasure-training beforehand. And I’m guessing you haven’t benefited from the same sort of education.”
“No.” Cringing inwardly, his nerves fluttering, Changmin decides to reveal the full extent of his tragic lack of experience. “I’ve never even touched a guy properly. Or a girl, for that matter. Not that I want to touch girls, not like that, but... I just-I haven’t even really kissed someone. I mean, technically I have, but she was drunk and she’d just thrown up and I’d held her hair for her and to be honest I don’t think she was really trying to kiss me, she just sort of... fell over and when I caught her she put her mouth on mine and it was really disgusting and-”
Bunny cups his hand around Changmin’s face, leans in, and kisses him.
It’s different to his not-real kiss at the Christmas party. Completely different. Bunny’s lips are surprisingly soft. He slants his mouth across Changmin’s, the pressure light enough to tease but also insistent enough to make Changmin want more. He tastes sweet, too, smooth and rich like cream or stupidly expensive chocolate, and it’s addictive, it must be, because Changmin kisses him back, opens his mouth to it.
The kiss gets harder. Wetter. Bunny angles his head, presses closer. He licks at Changmin’s lips, slides his tongue into Changmin’s mouth. Changmin twists on the bed to meet him, puts a hand on Bunny’s shoulder. The contrast between the cool slithery fabric of the smart-suit and Bunny’s warm skin is sort of mind-blowing. Changmin’s head starts to spin. He moves his hand, rubs circles against Bunny’s upper arm. God, he’s actually touching a man. Touching Cutie Honey Funny Bunny. He can barely process it.
Bunny feathers his thumb across Changmin’s cheekbone, smoothes a caress over his ear, then strokes through his hair, messing up the safe, boring style he wears for work. A quiver goes through Changmin, a swell of pleasure at this simplest of gestures, and he makes a needy sound into Bunny’s mouth.
“Oh yes,” Bunny says, pulling away just a little. “You kiss beautifully.” His voice has gone all slow and sexy. “Your mouth must have been made for mine.”
“That sounds stupid,” Changmin mumbles, though the praise fizzes through his body and makes something lurch low down in his belly. They kiss again, and Changmin tightens his hand on Bunny’s arm, anchors himself long enough to lift his other hand and put it on Bunny’s chest.
Oh wow, he can feel the stiff point of Bunny’s nipple through the smart-suit. Changmin splays his hand across Bunny’s chest. It’s so much nicer than touching his own chest. Softer, but somehow not at the same time. He rubs the heel of his palm against Bunny’s nipple and hears-feels-Bunny’s breathing quicken. That’s fun, so he does it again. Drags his hand down this time, strokes his thumb over and around the nipple until Bunny’s breaths are ragged and his kisses are a whole lot wetter, his tongue plunging, curling.
There’s power in a kiss, Changmin realises. Maybe he is good at something other than approving overdraft limits after all. He runs his hand from Bunny’s shoulder up into that fluffy gold-pink-red hair and draws him closer so they’re eating at each other, mouths open, saliva slick between them, both making raw, hungry noises in their throats.
Bunny pulls at Changmin’s staid navy blue tie. It slips from its knot and is cast onto the floor. Now his suit jacket, damp from the rain. Changmin helps, uncaring that the sleeves turn inside out as he flings the jacket away. They keep on kissing, and then Bunny unbuttons Changmin’s shirt. The thin cotton is soaked through, sticking to his skin, and when Bunny peels the fabric from him, Changmin starts shivering. Not because he’s cold, but because he’s feeling too much, his senses notched into overdrive. He bites at Bunny’s pouty lower lip, and Bunny sighs, puts his hands all over Changmin’s naked chest and strokes down to his waist.
Changmin is hard. Embarrassingly so, painfully so. He’s trembling with the force of it, his cock aching and pulsing.
“Let’s get more comfortable,” Bunny murmurs, easing Changmin down onto the bed. They share more kisses, because Changmin really likes kissing now. Kissing Bunny is so much better than mouthing at his pillow or the back of his hand or even issue 7 of Cutie Honey Funny Bunny which had that really hot fold-out poster.
They lie on their sides facing one another, tucked in close, legs entangled. A thrill fingers Changmin’s spine as he feels Bunny’s cock pressed hard against him. He touches Bunny, sweeps a hand from waist to hip; feels the taut stretch in the smart-suit where it’s moulded itself around Bunny’s erection. He’s not brave enough yet to touch there, so he fits his hand over the solid strength of Bunny’s thigh and slides his fingers back to grab a handful of Bunny’s ass.
Bunny bucks against him, and Changmin’s brain goes momentarily offline at the sensation of their cocks grinding together. Even through the layers of their clothes, it’s enough to steal speech and rob him of breath. Oh God, he won’t be able to deal with anything more than this, he’s sure of it. Things are moving kind of fast as it is, but at the same time he doesn’t care, because Bunny isn’t pushing him; in fact, he’s holding back, giving him all these sparking little touches but not following through, and it’s driving Changmin crazy.
Still lost in kisses, Changmin rolls onto his back, pulling Bunny with him. He doesn’t even realise he’s done it, the movement so instinctive, until Bunny settles between his thighs. Then Changmin groans and lifts his hips against the lovely warm weight on top of him. Oh, the reality of Bunny’s hard, aroused body snug and heavy over him-oh fuck, it’s amazing, even more amazing when Bunny leans into him, hips rolling in a slow, deep rhythm. Changmin drags away from the kiss and gasps for breath, feeling helpless and desperately turned on.
“You like this?” Bunny asks softly.
“Yes,” says Changmin. “Yes. Yes.” Everything feels messed up and shuddery, like he’s been dropped on the floor and broken and now he’s being put back together in a slightly different shape. “Yun-Bunny, kiss me.”
“Oh, you’re greedy,” Bunny murmurs, but he’s smiling and his face is flushed, his hair ruffled and his eyes shining.
Changmin moans into their next kiss. He can’t help it. Bunny shifts position and slides a hand between Changmin’s thighs and strokes the full length of his cock through the sensible trousers.
Lust poleaxes him. Changmin writhes, his dick swelling, getting harder. He whimpers. “Please,” he says. “I want-”
“Me too,” Bunny growls against his mouth. “Me too, baby.”
No one has ever called him ‘baby’ before. Not even as a joke. Changmin closes his eyes to block out the emotion that surges through him.
“Oh God,” he gasps, arching up as Bunny gets his hand inside Changmin’s trousers and-holy shit, Cutie Honey Funny Bunny is touching his cock and Changmin thinks his head is going to fall off, it’s spinning so much. His entire body locks down, absolutely rigid, as Bunny rocks his hand over Changmin’s dick, squeezing and stroking.
“Oh fuck,” Changmin breathes, everything slipping away from him. He grabs at Bunny, frantic to hold onto something. His fingers dig into the smart-suit. Pleasure rises and rises. He squirms, thrusting into Bunny’s hand, his breath hitching and his heartbeat frantic. “Oh,” he says, threadlike and desperate, “oh,” and this is so different to when he gets himself off, it can’t even compare. He wants to say Bunny’s name but it comes out as Yunny and then Bunho and both of those are wrong, so he tips back his head and he arches, straining, and he wails, a long, drawn-out note as he explodes, body shaking, climax pumping through him.
It seems to last forever, pleasure roaring all around him, and then he feels the tension dissipate to leave him boneless and gasping.
Bunny gazes at him bright-eyed. “Wow. I guess you really needed that.”
“Sorry,” Changmin blurts, feeling every bit as greedy as Bunny had declared him earlier. Guilt creeps in and tells him he’s selfish and ungrateful. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. You’re delicious. As hot as fuck.” Bunny withdraws his hand from Changmin’s trousers to display a fist coated in pearly dribbles of spunk. He licks it up with happy purrs of enjoyment. “You taste good, too. Seriously, Changminnie, why has no one touched you before?”
Changmin blushes both at the utterly filthy sight of Bunny sucking come off his fingers and at the reminder of his virginity. “Because-uh, because I’m not very good with people. I don’t know what to say. How to respond.”
“I’d say you were responding very well to me.” Bunny slides on down Changmin’s body and puts his face in Changmin’s lap and licks up the rest of his spilled seed, spending a long time curling his tongue all around Changmin’s cock and nuzzling at his balls.
“You,” Changmin says, hands in Bunny’s hair, alternately pulling him up and pushing him down. “You should-I should- Uh, don’t you need to come?”
Bunny lifts his head, his mouth and chin and cheeks all glossy with saliva. “Oh, no,” he says, beaming. “I’m saving it for the main event.”
>> on to Part 2 damn these LJ word limits >>
Fandom: TVXQ
Pairing: Yunho/Changmin then Changmin/Yunho
Rating: NC17
Summary: Changmin is an otaku with a crush on the hero of his favourite yaoi manga, Cutie Honey Funny Bunny. He’s resigned to one-dimensional lovin’ until the day he finds Bunny very much in three dimensions and eager to relieve Changmin of his virginity.
Notes: AU. PWP. Complete crack. With tentacles. For a_happy_twat's prompt on the kink meme, with lots of kissing for almond86 ;) For those unaware of Go Nagai's work, this is my favourite version of the original Cutie Honey, although I think Yunho would do a better job of filling out that costume.
Breaking the Frame
Changmin hurries along the street, head down, both arms clasped around the thin plastic bag and the priceless treasure it contains. Okay, maybe it’s not priceless because he just paid four hundred thousand won for it, but it’s rare. Rarer than rare. Rarer than dragon’s teeth. Rarer than the four-page My Girlfriend is an Alien House Cat mini-comic with the screen tones printed in the wrong places. Changmin has two copies of that. But this-this beauty he’s just bought... it’s one of only fifteen copies in the entire world.
It’s taken him months to track it down. A doujinshi of this calibre hardly ever surfaces for sale on the open market. It’s something whispered of in internet chat rooms, and occasionally a low-quality photograph of the cover is posted, only to be deleted a few hours later. Changmin had never expected that he might be able to get his hands on a copy, but thanks to a friend of a friend of a colleague of the owner of the comic shop that Changmin frequents, finally he had the opportunity to buy this doujinshi for himself.
He straightens up as he approaches the bank where he works, twisting the handle of the plastic bag around his fingers. His heart is racing as if he’s trying to sneak porn into the workplace. Technically that’s exactly what he’s doing, but he focuses on the fact that the manga isn’t just some mass-produced yaoi smut-it’s Art.
Changmin is very fussy about which manga he reads these days. The line art has to be beautiful and the story has to be engrossing, or it has to make him laugh, and he needs to fall in love with the hero. The latter concern is the most important, because Changmin has never had a real boyfriend or a real girlfriend-an accidental drunken snog at the office Christmas party two years ago hardly counts. When he was younger he’d tried to be normal and went on a handful of dates, but it never worked out and now here he is, a geeky bank clerk with a manga collection that threatens to pull down the walls of his apartment, and he’s still a virgin at the age of twenty-four.
But that’s okay, because he has the ultra-rare Cutie Honey Funny Bunny doujinshi, and nothing else matters.
He goes to his desk and sits down. Glances around to see if anyone is looking. They’re not. Changmin opens the bag. Puts his hand inside and inches the doujinshi out halfway so he can see the cover. He takes a quick breath, pulse thudding as he peeks at the full colour artwork.
Oh God, it’s even more incredible than he’d imagined.
Cassiopeia, the writer/artist of Cutie Honey Funny Bunny, has stated in several interviews that, despite his name, Bunny would never bottom. ‘He’s far too manly for that,’ she’d said, which only led to a rash of doujinshi featuring Cutie Honey Funny Bunny giving it up to just about every other character in the series. Changmin has all of those doujinshi, but most are printed on inferior stock or the line art lacks skill. But this one-this one-oh yes, this doujinshi is drawn by Cassiopeia herself and it depicts Bunny as the uke.
Rumour has it that Cassiopeia produced the manga as the result of a drunken bet. She’d retrieved nine of the fifteen copies and burned them, or so Bunnysgrrl92 claimed on one forum, although Honey_Fan had said on another site that Cassiopeia had just locked those nine doujinshi in a bank vault.
The fact is, no one in any of the chat rooms where Changmin spends most of his time has ever seen more than that crappy photo of the cover, and so speculation as to the content of the doujinshi was just that-speculation.
But now Changmin can see for himself, and he’s so excited he’s trembling. He knows how fucking sad and tragic that makes him, but he doesn’t care. He gazes at the doujinshi in its protective sleeve, stares at the cover image of Cutie Honey Funny Bunny’s alter ego, Jung Yunho, splayed naked and wanton on a beach with a huge multitasking octopus going at him in a parody of Hokusai’s shunga print The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife. One tentacle is gagging Yunho; another two tickle at his nipples; a fourth spirals around his waist. The fifth tentacle is wrapped around one thigh, spreading his legs wide apart. The sixth and smallest tentacle coils around the base of Yunho’s dick while the octopus stuffs the rest of his cock in its hungry beak, and tentacles seven and eight are buried deep inside Yunho’s ass, giving him a good shafting.
Changmin wriggles in his seat. Aw crap, he’s getting turned on just from the cover art. He pushes the doujinshi back into the bag and tries to distract himself. Maybe if he staples his hand or something. He pulls the paperwork for a loan agreement towards him and reads it three times before giving up. There’s no way he’ll be able to concentrate on anything until he’s looked at the doujinshi again. Just the first couple of pages. He won’t read the whole thing. He wants to savour it, and a hasty skim-through at work won’t be enough for him to appreciate every line and curve and tone.
But still. A few pages won’t hurt. Maybe four. Just so he can find out how Yunho got entangled with the octopus.
He still has fifteen minutes before the end of his lunch break. No one will care if he reads the doujinshi, but Changmin doesn’t want to look at it here in the office. It seems sacrilegious, and besides, someone might walk past and see what he’s reading and they just wouldn’t understand.
He gets up, tucks the plastic bag under his arm, and meanders towards the back of the office. His first thought is to go to the bathroom, but that’s not really private enough and besides, he doesn’t want to expose the doujinshi to germs or toilet lids that haven’t been cleaned properly. No, there’s only one real option-amongst the old files in the basement.
Changmin goes downstairs. The basement is musty and drowned in shadows, lit by a few flickering fluorescent tubes that hum at an irritating pitch. He moves between the stacks and settles in the section labelled Personal Loans 1969-1979. Elbowing a couple of boxes out of the way, Changmin clears a space on a shelf at waist height. He slides the doujinshi from the plastic bag and then removes it from its protective sleeve. Making sure he has enough light to see clearly, he lays the manga on the shelf and takes one more look at the cover image.
He’s glad Yunho is depicted there. Yunho hasn’t had nearly enough covers.
Cutie Honey Funny Bunny fans are divided between those who prefer Yunho and those who prefer Bunny. Several flamewars have broken out and things got very nasty on one forum and about thirty people had their posting rights suspended, though some of them were socks. Changmin thinks it’s all a bit ridiculous really, considering that Yunho and Bunny are the same person. They both fight crime, although Yunho is a cop and Bunny is an intergalactic time-travelling detective who solves problems with sex. Otherwise they’re the same. Except Bunny has different coloured hair. And fewer clothes. And he’s a lot more chirpy than Yunho. But that’s because Yunho has suffered a traumatic past in which his work partner, who was also his lover, was killed by a bad guy who is so evil that no one knows his identity yet.
Changmin thinks he likes tormented, brooding men. Not that he’s met any in real life, but that’s what manga is for.
Yunho, unlike Bunny, hasn’t had a love interest in the one hundred and twenty-eight issues of Fap magazine that serialises Cutie Honey Funny Bunny. Changmin likes to think this is because Yunho is secretly a uke in denial, whereas Bunny is toppy as all fuck. The very notion of this duality infuriates many fans, but it’s provided Changmin with hours of pleasure, all of it self-administered.
This doujinshi is like the Holy Grail. Proof that Cassiopeia has looked deep within her heart and recognised, even if it was through a drunken haze, that Yunho is a uke. And even if this acknowledgement is only ever expressed in this one super-rare, twenty-four page doujinshi, it’s enough.
Changmin can’t wait any longer. Anticipation riots through him. Taking a deep breath, he carefully opens the doujinshi.
The story starts with Yunho walking on the beach. He looks sad, no doubt lost in thoughts of his tragic past. He kicks the sand and then notices something at his feet. It’s a sea cucumber. Changmin is sure this holds profound significance in the overall arc of the manga, but he doesn’t want to think too much about it. He just wants to get to the good stuff.
A POV shift. The octopus lurks a short distance away. It spies Yunho alone on the beach and begins a stealthy wriggle through the waves. Its beady eyes are full of dangerous passion. Its tentacles undulate as its desire rises.
Changmin turns the page. His gaze skitters over the rampaging octopus breaking free of its panel and reaching out with its groping tentacles. Briefly he admires the way the lust-crazed cephalopod catches Yunho by the ankles and drags him onto the wet sand by the shore. With remarkable skill, the octopus rips Yunho’s clothes off. Changmin whines with excitement at each lovingly rendered panel as Yunho is stripped naked. Waves lap at Yunho’s thighs and splash over his chest. He looks furious and, when he sees the octopus advancing upon him, tentacles writhing, he looks afraid.
Changmin gives up reading the scant dialogue and internal monologues. He studies the next page, catches his breath as Yunho tries to fight off the horny cephalopod. Why doesn’t he transform into Cutie Honey Funny Bunny and save himself? Changmin doesn’t think he cares right now. He turns the page, hand shaking, and stares at the sequence in which the octopus secretes some sort of aquatic lube and shoves one big tentacle deep inside Yunho’s ass.
Changmin’s heart pounds. His breathing is sharp and shallow. It’s warm in the basement amongst the files, but that’s not why he’s sweating. He licks his top lip, tastes the perspiration there. It’s salty and sweet, and he imagines Yunho’s ozone-kissed skin would taste the same.
Usually when he reads Cutie Honey Funny Bunny he puts himself in the position of whichever lucky character Bunny is fucking. Today he wants to be the octopus. He’s never wanted to be an octopus before and tentacle porn has never been one of his kinks, but now that’s all changed. He wants to have thick, muscular tentacles with wicked little suckers that bruise flesh. He wants to shove his tentacles inside Yunho, split him in half with his massive marine strength, wants to leave a trail of love-bites with his suckers and his sharp little octopus beak.
Unhh, he has to touch himself. Changmin unzips his trousers and shoves his hand inside. His cock is hard, the tip already leaking. He’s been wanting this since he first looked at the cover. He squeezes his dick, takes a firm hold, and begins to work it.
In the next sequence, the octopus wraps a tentacle around Yunho’s waist to hold him still as it molests him with all its other legs or arms or whatever the hell they are. And then it draws up its eighth tentacle and forces it in alongside its biggest tentacle, and it fucks Yunho good and hard, rams into him with such force that Yunho is ground into the sand. His back arches and he thrashes about helplessly, impaled on the ravaging tentacles.
But that’s not the hottest thing about this page. Even hotter than non-con tentacle beach sex is the panel that shows a close-up of Yunho’s face, of his agonised, conflicted expression as he takes the tentacle-fucking. Because in that panel, his eyes glimmer with tears. Yunho never cries. Never ever. This octopus has done the impossible and made Jung Yunho cry.
Changmin wishes with every atom of his being that he could be that octopus, that he could hold Yunho in his arms/legs/tentacles and witness those perfect, beautiful tears for himself.
“Oh,” he gasps, trying to stifle the sound. “Oh, Yunho,” and he comes hard.
The pleasure fades all too soon, replaced by absolute horror. Oh fuck, he’s just spurted all over the pages of the doujinshi, and though it’s not the first time he’s jacked off whilst looking at Cutie Honey Funny Bunny, it is the first time he’s not used protection. Shit shit shit, this is a disaster. Panic blurs his vision, and Changmin uses his shirttails to mop at the pages. Thank God the stock is sturdy and the print fairly stable. Even so, some of it transfers onto his shirt as he tries to clean up, and he winces at every dab and wipe. He is such an idiot.
The best thing would be to leave the doujinshi open to the air so the pages dry. Okay, the paper will be all stiff in places, but if he returns the manga to the bag, the pages will just gum together and that’s something he can’t even bear to contemplate. He doesn’t want to leave the doujinshi down here, but it’s the safest place for it right now. Changmin pushes it to the back of the shelf and surrounds it with boxes. Shamefaced, he returns to the office and continues with his work.
At the end of the day, he pretends to be engrossed in filing insurance claims and waits until his colleagues have left before he goes back down to the basement to retrieve the doujinshi.
But it’s not there.
Changmin spends frantic minutes searching for it. It’s not where he left it. The boxes are still in the exact same places, but the manga has gone. It’s not on the floor. It’s not slipped down the back of the shelf, and neither has it fallen between the stacks. He checks everywhere, but he can’t find it. The awful truth dawns.
Some bastard has stolen his doujinshi. Changmin vows that when he finds the scumbag responsible, he’ll scrape their skin off with sharpened spoons, like Bunny’s nemesis the evil Chef of Michelin in Fap #27-34. Then maybe he’ll make a rug out of their flayed flesh, like the equally evil Pasha of İrtah in issue 85.
His rage and plans for revenge last until he goes out into the cold night air, and then they all shrivel away. It’s raining, and Changmin has to wait half an hour for a bus and then he trudges home, numb with his loss. Now he wishes he’d actually read the dialogue rather than just looking at the pictures. He wishes he hadn’t been stupid enough to jerk off over page five, because he still doesn’t know why Yunho had been captured by the octopus and why he hadn’t turned into Cutie Honey Funny Bunny.
His life sucks.
Soaked to the skin, his hair dripping wet, Changmin pushes open the door of the apartment block and collects his post. The lift is still broken, so he walks up six flights of stairs. He’s exhausted and miserable by the time he reaches his apartment. He goes inside and switches on the light.
“Hello!”
The post scatters from Changmin’s hands. He backs up against the door, a cry of fright trembling in his throat.
Someone is lounging on his bed. No, that’s not right. Cutie Honey Funny Bunny is lounging on his bed. Naked. And three-dimensional. Real.
Changmin squeaks, slides down the door, and ends up in a heap on the floor.
“Hello!” Bunny says again, sitting up and smiling his utterly brilliant, heart-stopping smile.
“Wah,” says Changmin. “Hrgh. B-B-Bunny?” He doesn’t know why he’s even bothering to check. He knows it’s Bunny and not Yunho because, well, he’s naked and that’s always a giveaway, plus his hair is all fluffy and it’s a golden-pinkish-red hue. Not much of a disguise but it always seems to bamboozle the baddies. Or maybe that’s just the sight of Bunny’s sexy chest and long legs and massive cock, and, well, just his overall total nakedness.
“Oh. You fell down,” Bunny says, looking concerned. “Let me help you up.” He bounces off the bed. ‘Bounce’ being the operative word in so many senses. Changmin tries to burrow backwards through the door. He’s not seen this much non-inked, non-screen-toned flesh on display since he watched Deposits & Withdrawals, that porno about working in a bank, which had upset him because it didn’t match his experience at all.
“It’s okay! I’m fine!” Changmin starts to crawl back up the door, but Bunny is right in front of him and has one arm around Changmin’s waist, lifting him to his feet. They press together, hot naked Bunny against Changmin’s neat, corporate, rain-drenched suit. The wet fabric drags at him; he can only imagine how it feels over Bunny’s skin. Oh crap, this is turning him on. Changmin tries to think of something depressing like foreclosures, but it’s not working.
His head spins. Bunny smells of sex, or at least Changmin imagines this is what sex smells like. Sort of musky and warm and with some sort of addictive trace-scent that makes him want to fall down again and roll over and spread his legs. He’d never imagined that Bunny would smell quite so appealing, maybe because he’d got so used to breathing in the pulpy scent of paper and the sharpness of ink whenever he’d read Cutie Honey Funny Bunny.
It’s making him feel faint. And it’s not just because of Bunny’s scent, either. This is the first time Changmin has been held so closely by anyone since he was nine years old. Back then it was because he’d fallen off his bicycle and his mum had given him a cuddle to stop him from crying. He kind of wants to cry now, but for a completely different reason. It still hurts, though.
“Hi,” Bunny says, smiling so much his eyes crinkle in a really cute way. “I should introduce myself, since I’m naked and you’re wet and we’ll be fucking in less than two minutes. I’m-”
“Bunny,” Changmin croaks. “You’re Cutie Honey Funny Bunny.”
Bunny wrinkles his nose. “Actually, you can call me Yunho. It’s like the worst-kept secret ever.”
“But,” says Changmin, “but Yunho is- You’re not- It’s different. Even though it isn’t. Like Superman and Clark Kent. Batman and Bruce Wayne. Iron Man and Robert Downey Jr. It’s... it’s easier for me to think of you as Bunny. While you’re like this.” He gestures vaguely. “With the hair. And the nakedness.”
Maybe it’s his imagination, but Changmin thinks Bunny looks the slightest bit disappointed. Then Bunny smiles again and says, “Okay. Glad we sorted that out. Let’s fuck.”
Changmin tries desperately to stall. “Uh, I didn’t tell you my name yet. I’m-I’m Changmin.” He has a brief mental image of himself in chibi form with hearts in place of his eyes, squealing And I’m your biggest fan! Though right now maybe ‘I’m your lamest fan’ would be more appropriate.
“Changminnie.” Bunny takes his hand and starts to pull him across the small apartment towards the bed. “C’mon, let’s get to it.”
“Why?”
Bunny stops. Blinks. “Because this is what I do. I materialise in a dimension where there’s a problem that needs solving. I identify that problem by having sex. I then resolve the problem by having sex, thereby saving my love interest and the secondary character(s)/biosphere/habitation/era/galaxy by having sex.” He beams. “Changmin, there is no problem in any reality that cannot be solved by having sex!”
“I don’t know about that,” Changmin says. “I mean, I know that’s your usual modus operandi, but...”
“I was summoned here for a reason. Obviously that reason involves sex. Therefore-” and Bunny resumes towing Changmin past teetering piles of manga towards the bed, “we may extrapolate that we need to have wild monkey sex right now.”
Changmin has no idea what wild monkey sex entails but he thinks it probably has nothing to do with the Discovery Channel. “Er,” he says, “what happens if we don’t have sex right now?”
Bunny stares at him, clearly perplexed by Changmin’s reluctance to throw himself wholeheartedly into hard, sweaty coupling. “Then I suppose a species of some cute fluffy animal will become extinct or a planet will explode or a sun will go supernova. That’s usually what happens if I don’t get my leg over or if I fail to please my love interest du jour.”
Changmin whimpers. Great, a fuck or die situation. It’s one of his favourite tropes to read, but it’s not so much fun when he’s the one who has to put out. Not when he has absolutely no experience. If Bunny is going to save the world yet again, then he should have a worthy partner. Someone desperately good-looking with a fantastic body and loads of sensual charm and lots of clever erotic tricks. He shouldn’t have to screw a too tall, too thin bank clerk with sticky-out ears and hair that’s a bit too long because he’s too shy to make an appointment at the hairdresser’s.
“Changminnie,” Bunny says, and he’s looking at the limited edition Trash Mecha Battle Demons clock with all the combatants in place of the numbers, “Changminnie, do you realise that we’ve been talking for approximately seven minutes and we are still no closer to rutting like crazed beasts?” His expression is one of utter bewilderment. “This must be the longest time I haven’t had sex. It feels so strange.”
“That’s not true,” Changmin says. “In issues 42 through 45, you got hit with that anti-sex pollen. You had to go without for quite a while.”
Bunny frowns. “Yes, but I still made sure my love interests got off. My tongue is a perfectly good substitute, you know. And I give great hand jobs. Here, let me demonstrate-”
Changmin steps back. Oh, he’s so not ready for this. He’s trying to work out the least humiliating way possible to admit that he’s a virgin when finally-finally-Bunny’s outfit materialises, slinking over his body to leave him more or less clothed.
“Biker Bunny,” Changmin says, staring at all the leather. “Issue 56!”
“Hmm.” Bunny strokes a hand over his thigh, tugs at his leather jacket. “The smart-suit is slow to work in this dimension. It should recalibrate much faster than that.”
Changmin thinks of issue 14, in which Cutie Honey Funny Bunny’s smart-suit had failed to recalibrate to any setting, leaving poor Bunny completely naked for the full forty pages of the manga. That was one of his favourite issues and he has six copies stashed beneath his bed.
The smart-suit shifts again, cycles through the outfits for Rock Star Bunny, Ninja Bunny, and Aquaform Bunny before it settles into its standard calibration of a very snug-fitting all-in-one bodysuit that appears to be made out of a combination of leather, PVC, ribbon and mesh. It’s all black except for the silvery decorative elements that serve no real purpose other than to accentuate the length of Bunny’s legs and the sexy, solid muscle of his thighs, and part of the top, which is hot pink and slashed open to reveal a goodly expanse of Bunny’s chest. His arms are bare and he wears one leather glove for no apparent reason except it looks hot.
“That’s better.” Bunny gives a wriggle. “If we’re not going to be shagging any time soon then I may as well be decently dressed so as not to offend your sensibilities.”
“Uh.” Changmin decides not to mention that the smart-suit is so tight that it doesn’t exactly hide a great deal anyway. “I don’t think we should do anything until we work out why you’re here.”
“Duh,” Bunny says, tapping his head. “We already discussed that. You plus me equals fuckfest.”
“No, I mean-why are you here?”
Bunny stares at him. “Is this some kind of philosophical quandary? Do I have to answer this question in order to fuck you? Are you going to ask me about my favourite colour and what’s the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”
“What? No. I just...” Changmin knows he’s running out of options. He’s going to have to admit his humiliating secret to the most shagtastic man ever created. “I just want to know how you got here. Did you-” it’s so embarrassing to have to ask this, “did you sort of... arrive through my doujinshi?”
“The one you were wanking over at lunchtime?” Bunny tilts his head and gives another of those killer smiles. “I guess so. But who cares how I got here? I’m here now, and that means there’s a problem to be solved, so I should have sex with you in order to diagnose both the issue and the solution. And by the way, sixteen minutes now-so please can we cut the chat because I’m really horny and I absolutely have got to have you really, really soon.”
“But,” Changmin says. “But the doujinshi was about Yunho.”
Bunny’s smile wavers a little. “I forgot you didn’t get past page five. I turned up on page sixteen.”
“Did you fight off that octopus?”
“Why are we still talking?” Bunny bounces back onto the bed and pats the place next to him. “Come here and let me fuck you into the mattress.”
Funny how dirty talk sounds much hotter in the manga. Changmin wonders what’s wrong with him. He has no idea how he should behave. Not even with an encyclopaedic knowledge of one hundred and twenty-eight issues worth of Bunny’s love interests. He can’t measure up to any of them. Even the nanobots from issue 97 that assembled into the Irish android Rusty Niall had greater coital experience than him, and they’re nanobots, for fuck’s sake.
“I’m beginning to think you don’t find me attractive,” Bunny says, looking the teensiest bit cross. “I guess the fact that you jerked off over my alter ego should have been a sign.”
“I’ve jerked off over you, too!” Changmin protests. “Lots of times. I’ve done myself looking at you more times than I have whilst looking at Yunho. But that’s just because Yunho doesn’t get naked very often. There’s only been three gratuitous shower scenes and you couldn’t see much in any of them because of the artfully placed wisps of steam. I was so disappointed I set up an online petition of complaint and we got 187,698 signatures. Though I think some of them were socks.”
“So,” Bunny says, frowning, “if you fancy both versions of me, why are you standing over there looking like I’m offering you a root canal without anaesthetic?”
Changmin casts around for an excuse that might actually work. “I think we should get to know each other first.”
Bunny gives him an odd look. “Why?”
“Because.” Changmin flails. “You can’t just expect me to have sex with you.”
“Everyone else does,” Bunny says.
“Well, I’m not everyone else, okay?” Changmin can hear the upward slide of his voice and he winces at his gaucheness, his ineptitude, his total and utter fail. “Sometimes a fantasy shouldn’t become reality. Because it might-it might be too intimidating.”
“Look,” Bunny says in soothing tones, “I’m not going to lie, I do have a big dick-but it’s completely in proportion with the rest of my body.” He pauses. “Almost.”
Changmin sighs and sinks down on the end of the bed. “That’s not what I meant.”
“What, then?” Bunny wriggles across the duvet, curls an arm around Changmin’s waist. Leans in and puts his chin on Changmin’s shoulder. “You can tell me. It might be part of the problem that I’m here to solve.”
Bunny’s logic seems inescapable. Changmin squeezes his eyes shut tight. “I’m... I’m a- I’ve never done this before. Never had sex.”
“You’re a virgin?” Bunny doesn’t pull away from him. Doesn’t point and laugh. If anything, he cuddles closer, and his voice is full of wonderment when he says, “I don’t think I’ve ever had a virgin.”
“Issue 69,” Changmin reminds him with a wan smile. “The Prince of Sampo.”
“Mm, yes.” Bunny makes a dismissive sound. “Technically he was, but he’d received extensive pleasure-training beforehand. And I’m guessing you haven’t benefited from the same sort of education.”
“No.” Cringing inwardly, his nerves fluttering, Changmin decides to reveal the full extent of his tragic lack of experience. “I’ve never even touched a guy properly. Or a girl, for that matter. Not that I want to touch girls, not like that, but... I just-I haven’t even really kissed someone. I mean, technically I have, but she was drunk and she’d just thrown up and I’d held her hair for her and to be honest I don’t think she was really trying to kiss me, she just sort of... fell over and when I caught her she put her mouth on mine and it was really disgusting and-”
Bunny cups his hand around Changmin’s face, leans in, and kisses him.
It’s different to his not-real kiss at the Christmas party. Completely different. Bunny’s lips are surprisingly soft. He slants his mouth across Changmin’s, the pressure light enough to tease but also insistent enough to make Changmin want more. He tastes sweet, too, smooth and rich like cream or stupidly expensive chocolate, and it’s addictive, it must be, because Changmin kisses him back, opens his mouth to it.
The kiss gets harder. Wetter. Bunny angles his head, presses closer. He licks at Changmin’s lips, slides his tongue into Changmin’s mouth. Changmin twists on the bed to meet him, puts a hand on Bunny’s shoulder. The contrast between the cool slithery fabric of the smart-suit and Bunny’s warm skin is sort of mind-blowing. Changmin’s head starts to spin. He moves his hand, rubs circles against Bunny’s upper arm. God, he’s actually touching a man. Touching Cutie Honey Funny Bunny. He can barely process it.
Bunny feathers his thumb across Changmin’s cheekbone, smoothes a caress over his ear, then strokes through his hair, messing up the safe, boring style he wears for work. A quiver goes through Changmin, a swell of pleasure at this simplest of gestures, and he makes a needy sound into Bunny’s mouth.
“Oh yes,” Bunny says, pulling away just a little. “You kiss beautifully.” His voice has gone all slow and sexy. “Your mouth must have been made for mine.”
“That sounds stupid,” Changmin mumbles, though the praise fizzes through his body and makes something lurch low down in his belly. They kiss again, and Changmin tightens his hand on Bunny’s arm, anchors himself long enough to lift his other hand and put it on Bunny’s chest.
Oh wow, he can feel the stiff point of Bunny’s nipple through the smart-suit. Changmin splays his hand across Bunny’s chest. It’s so much nicer than touching his own chest. Softer, but somehow not at the same time. He rubs the heel of his palm against Bunny’s nipple and hears-feels-Bunny’s breathing quicken. That’s fun, so he does it again. Drags his hand down this time, strokes his thumb over and around the nipple until Bunny’s breaths are ragged and his kisses are a whole lot wetter, his tongue plunging, curling.
There’s power in a kiss, Changmin realises. Maybe he is good at something other than approving overdraft limits after all. He runs his hand from Bunny’s shoulder up into that fluffy gold-pink-red hair and draws him closer so they’re eating at each other, mouths open, saliva slick between them, both making raw, hungry noises in their throats.
Bunny pulls at Changmin’s staid navy blue tie. It slips from its knot and is cast onto the floor. Now his suit jacket, damp from the rain. Changmin helps, uncaring that the sleeves turn inside out as he flings the jacket away. They keep on kissing, and then Bunny unbuttons Changmin’s shirt. The thin cotton is soaked through, sticking to his skin, and when Bunny peels the fabric from him, Changmin starts shivering. Not because he’s cold, but because he’s feeling too much, his senses notched into overdrive. He bites at Bunny’s pouty lower lip, and Bunny sighs, puts his hands all over Changmin’s naked chest and strokes down to his waist.
Changmin is hard. Embarrassingly so, painfully so. He’s trembling with the force of it, his cock aching and pulsing.
“Let’s get more comfortable,” Bunny murmurs, easing Changmin down onto the bed. They share more kisses, because Changmin really likes kissing now. Kissing Bunny is so much better than mouthing at his pillow or the back of his hand or even issue 7 of Cutie Honey Funny Bunny which had that really hot fold-out poster.
They lie on their sides facing one another, tucked in close, legs entangled. A thrill fingers Changmin’s spine as he feels Bunny’s cock pressed hard against him. He touches Bunny, sweeps a hand from waist to hip; feels the taut stretch in the smart-suit where it’s moulded itself around Bunny’s erection. He’s not brave enough yet to touch there, so he fits his hand over the solid strength of Bunny’s thigh and slides his fingers back to grab a handful of Bunny’s ass.
Bunny bucks against him, and Changmin’s brain goes momentarily offline at the sensation of their cocks grinding together. Even through the layers of their clothes, it’s enough to steal speech and rob him of breath. Oh God, he won’t be able to deal with anything more than this, he’s sure of it. Things are moving kind of fast as it is, but at the same time he doesn’t care, because Bunny isn’t pushing him; in fact, he’s holding back, giving him all these sparking little touches but not following through, and it’s driving Changmin crazy.
Still lost in kisses, Changmin rolls onto his back, pulling Bunny with him. He doesn’t even realise he’s done it, the movement so instinctive, until Bunny settles between his thighs. Then Changmin groans and lifts his hips against the lovely warm weight on top of him. Oh, the reality of Bunny’s hard, aroused body snug and heavy over him-oh fuck, it’s amazing, even more amazing when Bunny leans into him, hips rolling in a slow, deep rhythm. Changmin drags away from the kiss and gasps for breath, feeling helpless and desperately turned on.
“You like this?” Bunny asks softly.
“Yes,” says Changmin. “Yes. Yes.” Everything feels messed up and shuddery, like he’s been dropped on the floor and broken and now he’s being put back together in a slightly different shape. “Yun-Bunny, kiss me.”
“Oh, you’re greedy,” Bunny murmurs, but he’s smiling and his face is flushed, his hair ruffled and his eyes shining.
Changmin moans into their next kiss. He can’t help it. Bunny shifts position and slides a hand between Changmin’s thighs and strokes the full length of his cock through the sensible trousers.
Lust poleaxes him. Changmin writhes, his dick swelling, getting harder. He whimpers. “Please,” he says. “I want-”
“Me too,” Bunny growls against his mouth. “Me too, baby.”
No one has ever called him ‘baby’ before. Not even as a joke. Changmin closes his eyes to block out the emotion that surges through him.
“Oh God,” he gasps, arching up as Bunny gets his hand inside Changmin’s trousers and-holy shit, Cutie Honey Funny Bunny is touching his cock and Changmin thinks his head is going to fall off, it’s spinning so much. His entire body locks down, absolutely rigid, as Bunny rocks his hand over Changmin’s dick, squeezing and stroking.
“Oh fuck,” Changmin breathes, everything slipping away from him. He grabs at Bunny, frantic to hold onto something. His fingers dig into the smart-suit. Pleasure rises and rises. He squirms, thrusting into Bunny’s hand, his breath hitching and his heartbeat frantic. “Oh,” he says, threadlike and desperate, “oh,” and this is so different to when he gets himself off, it can’t even compare. He wants to say Bunny’s name but it comes out as Yunny and then Bunho and both of those are wrong, so he tips back his head and he arches, straining, and he wails, a long, drawn-out note as he explodes, body shaking, climax pumping through him.
It seems to last forever, pleasure roaring all around him, and then he feels the tension dissipate to leave him boneless and gasping.
Bunny gazes at him bright-eyed. “Wow. I guess you really needed that.”
“Sorry,” Changmin blurts, feeling every bit as greedy as Bunny had declared him earlier. Guilt creeps in and tells him he’s selfish and ungrateful. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. You’re delicious. As hot as fuck.” Bunny withdraws his hand from Changmin’s trousers to display a fist coated in pearly dribbles of spunk. He licks it up with happy purrs of enjoyment. “You taste good, too. Seriously, Changminnie, why has no one touched you before?”
Changmin blushes both at the utterly filthy sight of Bunny sucking come off his fingers and at the reminder of his virginity. “Because-uh, because I’m not very good with people. I don’t know what to say. How to respond.”
“I’d say you were responding very well to me.” Bunny slides on down Changmin’s body and puts his face in Changmin’s lap and licks up the rest of his spilled seed, spending a long time curling his tongue all around Changmin’s cock and nuzzling at his balls.
“You,” Changmin says, hands in Bunny’s hair, alternately pulling him up and pushing him down. “You should-I should- Uh, don’t you need to come?”
Bunny lifts his head, his mouth and chin and cheeks all glossy with saliva. “Oh, no,” he says, beaming. “I’m saving it for the main event.”
>> on to Part 2 damn these LJ word limits >>