Comments | glitch_wyatt: "...You Don't Forget," Ch. 11/?

blindswandive in glitch_wyatt

"...You Don't Forget," Ch. 11/?

Jul 25, 2009 21:56

Title: ...You Don't Forget, Ch. 11/?
Author: blindswandive
Characters/Pairing: Ambrose/Cain; feat. Azkadellia
Rating: PG13 - PG16
Summary: Apparently no one's adjusted, anymore. Wounds are tended, plots are hatched, and bad habits die hard, but at least we're developing a "can do" attitude.
Warnings: Medical ouch, questionable bedside manner, vegetable ( Read more... )

genre: drama, fiction: work-in-progress, subject: fanfic, author: blindswandive, rating: pg13

Comments 7

(The comment has been removed)

blindswandive July 27 2009, 18:17:39 UTC

Thank you so much!

I feel bad for Cain, too. This is probably good for him, in a weird way, though; it's giving him a kind of an out for his bogged down feelings about Ambrose and Az. A quasi-reset, if that makes any sense. He was able to forget it (literally) for a little while, there's something to deal with, he doesn't have to be responsible for *everything*... It may turn out to be strangely healthy to be doing something so unhealthy, in the end. -_-

kseda July 27 2009, 02:18:40 UTC

*props chin* Yes, I do like this version of events better. It's still got that note of panic but it's...channeled better, as it were. And for a "filler" chapter it does still move things along.

OMG bits:
- the rug by the door
- the delayed application of alcohol
- Az. Just...AZ.
- He closed his eyes and listened through his skin for a long time.
- that surprise of Cain cutting off Az's scream, startling for use who read the initial draft
- I've developed an unhealthy appreciation for concussed!Cain
- WRITING FROM YOU = A HAPPY

In short? :D

blindswandive July 27 2009, 18:13:41 UTC

Thank you!

Ugh, I think the earlier version would have just killed everything. I don't know if I could have ever fixed it. :( I loved it, but.. yeah, it would have broken everything. This one feels kind of cheery, by comparison, which is really, really weird and disconcerting. o.O It's really not fluffy.

Oh, I didn't mean it was filler, really, just that I wasn't able to do too much more than resolve the previous chapter. It's like.. half a chapter, I guess.

that surprise of Cain cutting off Az's scream Ooh, I'm so glad! ::claps!:: I felt like I was playing with timelines in a scifi, that was really fun to do. :) (And is it wrong that, after the first draft, I'm getting the whoof of relief? I want to clap for Cain being up. ...I think I'm a little too invested in this mess.)

I've developed an unhealthy appreciation for concussed!Cain Nooo, it's not unhealthy. It's his turn to be the wounded one! <3

ANYWAY THANK YOU :D

lionille July 29 2009, 02:39:31 UTC

AIEEEE! I think I start all my reviews for this fic off that way, but man. Ambrose's thought processes gave me a shiver, especially how he views how others must see them:

the unimpeachable Tin Man and the well-tolerated Headcase

The glitch hand continues to break my heart and I just want to hold it.

Ambrose didn't realize he was crying until his glitch hand was tickling at his cheeks, trying to bat the saline away.

Picture of awesome:

Cain couldn't have done much at his post, but neither could she, and it was enough that Ambrose could safely go dig for medical books in the flock of unorganized texts on his shelves in the bedroom. He brought back everything he could find, and settled onto the floor on his stomach like a child with his toys.And he whole thing with the key, and how he puts the key BACK around Cain's neck when he's done locking up and lies on the floor ( ... )

blindswandive July 29 2009, 05:18:22 UTC

::hugs!!:: Thank you for your aieees! They are wonderful!

And he whole thing with the key, Thank you, the key was probably my favorite thing in either version of this. <3 Ambrose is so... so.... ::well, pets him, anyway::

Thank you so much!

derien December 17 2009, 17:04:12 UTC

So glad to see that you posted Chapter 11 after all, and that a great deal of the draft chapter actually made it in! I like Cain actually having some part in the decision to bring her back to the cottage, even if he doesn't remember it later. Now go back and make a link from chapter nine to ten and ten to eleven. :)

blindswandive December 17 2009, 23:51:05 UTC

Links are done.

Thank you! I really did love the draft, it's just.. if I do want them to have a chance at a happy ending, that just wasn't going to cut it. I unfortunately really loved a lot of what I had to cut, but definitely: Cain needs to have some ownership - and balancing influence - over this, too. And less coma. ;)