Talk the Talk Part 1 for quackaquacka
Title: Talk the Talk
Author: jett_black8803
Recipient: quackaquacka
Rating: NC-17
Words: 14,700
Pairing(s): Cory/Chris
Summary: A conversation with Mark leads Cory to try something with Chris that he's never done. And they fail at it. Spectacularly. Several times. But they eventually get it right.
Warnings: This fic contains phone sex, so I'm not sure if I should warn for things mentioned or not, but just in case, there is talk of moderate submission, come play and fisting, but none of those things actually occur.
Notes: Long author's note is long... First thing: to quackaquacka, I have no idea how your list of prompts turned into this and I'm very sorry if this is not at all to your liking. I'll write you another one if that's the case I swear. This was just the idea my brain latched onto and I ran with it. Also, I hope the brief mention of fisting does not qualify as one of the hardcore level kinks that squick you. I debated very strongly about taking it out, but with the tone of the story it felt necessary, so I left it. But I figured since there was no actual fisting going on that I was safe yeah?
Secondly, this fic totally ate my brain and just refused to freaking end. It currently sits at almost 15k words and that's after I cut out about 9k that I just couldn't make work and knew I couldn't finish by the March 15th deadline. I am thinking about finishing those missing scenes and posting them as like outtakes or something, so if you want to see that let me know.
Oh yeah, an it's an AU and I had to play with their ages some to make it work. Chris is now 3 years younger than Cory and Mark instead of eight. Right, so that's about it... hope you enjoy!
Talking the Talk
Cory wasn’t sure how he’d gotten himself into this situation, but he was pretty sure it was Mark’s fault. Well, not this situation in its entirety, because he knew how he’d ended up here and that it was no one’s fault really. Unless of course you considered the universe a person. In that case, Cory could totally blame the universe and would be completely justified in punching the universe in the face because long distance relationships sucked.
But honestly, you couldn’t really blame anyone for that, this was just how the cluster-fuck he lovingly referred to as his life ended up. It wasn’t Marks’ fault (not the long distance-ness of his relationship, anyway) it wasn’t his fault, and it wasn’t Chris’ fault.
Especially not Chris’ fault.
Because Chris had done everything humanly possible to prevent this situation and when it had become abundantly clear that this long distance thing couldn’t be avoided, he’d done everything in his power to make it more bearable. It was just simply no one’s fault at all that Chris was almost three years younger than Cory and therefore wouldn’t graduate until after he did.
It was only going to be one year later though, thank God. Because despite his age, and starting so far behind Cory, Chris had worked hard, going to summer and night classes, in order to graduate as soon as possible. And even still, he’d tried to transfer to UCLA from UW for his last year in order to be closer to Cory, but so many of his credits weren’t going to transfer it would have set him back almost a whole year and he would have lost his financial aid. It just hadn’t been possible for Chris to follow Cory to LA yet.
But they only had one more year of this, Chris was set to graduate this spring, and May couldn’t get here fast enough. Because Cory loved his job, was really grateful that both he and Mark were offered entry level positions at a popular record company in LA, because it was an excellent start toward working his way into his dream job of producing music, but he was starting to suspect he loved his boyfriend more.
Being almost eighteen hours away from Chris was killing him. And everyone knew it.
Or at least everyone who knew him at all in LA. Which pretty much amounted to Mark, and that was about it. Which was how he’d ended up in this specific situation: sitting in his tiny bedroom in the apartment he shared with Mark, in the computer chair he’d gotten from a yard sale, toying with the hem of his shirt and contemplating trying to bring up the subject of phone sex with his boyfriend of more than two years.
This was totally Mark’s fault.
After yet another of their many lunchtime conversations turned to Chris, and how much Cory missed him and how he couldn’t wait until he moved to LA, and how he hoped he could find a job after he graduated, and did Mark think that their boss could help since Chris wanted to be a music journalist and it was the same industry, and was it inappropriate to even ask, Mark had point blank asked Cory if he and Chris were having phone sex.
Cory had just blinked at him in surprise for a second before sputtering and emphatically answering ‘no,’ feeling embarrassed and exposed even though Mark was his closest friend and he shouldn’t be embarrassed about anything in front of him.
Mark had stared at him for a few long seconds and then said, “Well you should. It would relieve a lot of that tension, dude.”
And that was how their entire lunch hour had ended up being wasted on Mark trying to enlighten Cory on the merits of phone sex.
Except it hadn’t exactly been a total waste. Some of the things Mark said had made a lot of sense, and Cory couldn’t deny that while he missed a lot of other stuff about being with Chris way more, he still really, really missed the sex. It was hard to go from having sex just about every other day, and then daily there toward the end when Cory knew he was about to leave, to nothing but his right hand for months. Maybe Mark was right and it was starting to make him lose his mind a little bit.
Because, God help him, he couldn’t quit thinking about it. Couldn’t help replaying some of Mark’s more convincing arguments in his head as he sat and listened to Chris talk about his day nine hundred and fifty four miles away. Was he seriously contemplating trying this? Was he fucking insane?
Chris’ soft, sweet voice drifted across the line, startling Cory out of his daydreaming. “Well okay Cory, I guess I better let you go. I know you have to get up early tomorrow. Have a good night.”
Oh Jesus, it was now or never if Cory was going to do this. Cory settled back in his chair and spread his thighs a little, trying to pitch his voice low in what he hoped was a sexy purr. Mostly he just felt like a total tool. “Mmm. We could make it a really good night.” There was a part of him that was hoping that Chris would ignore the innuendo, just let it pass right on by him and continue with his goodbyes without pointing out how seriously fucking pathetic that had been.
No such luck. Chris’ voice floated across the line in a surprised hiss. “What?”
Feeling his cheeks flush, Cory bit his lip and stammered out a response. God, what the hell had he been thinking? His boyfriend was far too smart to not know what that meant and far too direct to let it go without comment. “Uh. Nothing.”
Chris huffed out a soft laugh and his voice was equal parts amused and incredulous. “Cory, are you trying to have phone sex with me?”
“Uh, no?” He hadn’t meant to make it sound like a question, but that was the way it came out, hesitant and stilted and embarrassing.
“Are you sure about that? Because it sounded like you were trying. Badly.”
“Uh, well…” Rubbing a hand over the back of his neck, Cory sighed in resignation. He felt stupid and insecure in a way he hadn’t felt around Chris since they were just friends and he had the crush to end all crushes on the younger man and felt like a total idiot every time he opened his mouth to talk to him because all he could think about was how much he wanted to ask him out. “Aw, fuck. It’s just something stupid Mark said.”
“Mark?” Chris’ voice held genuine surprise.
Cory smiled a little wanly and shrugged even though Chris couldn’t see it. “Yeah. I was talking about you, and saying how bad it sucked not to be able to see you whenever I wanted, and he asked me if we were having phone sex.”
“That sounds like Mark.” A genuine fondness could be heard in Chris’ tone along with a little amusement.
Cory felt his smile stretch into something more genuine, thinking about his friend and his tendency to psychoanalyze everyone he knew. And to also make every situation about sex, or the lack thereof. “Yeah.”
Unidentifiable rustling noises could be heard on the other end of the line, like Chris was shifting positions or getting more comfortable or something. “And what did you say?”
Cory snorted. “The truth of course. That we’ve never tried it, that it’s never come up.”
Chris hummed in the back of his throat. “And what did Mark have to say about that?”
Picturing the look on his friend’s face during the conversation, Cory couldn’t help but laugh a little. “He was shocked. Genuinely really surprised.”
“Really?” Chris sounded more than a little surprised himself.
Cory shrugged again. Mark tended to come across as shy the first time you met him, when in reality he was just private, liked to keep his thoughts and opinions to himself and his friends. But to those who knew him well, he was quite direct and upfront and quite shameless about most topics, and honestly couldn’t understand why everyone else wasn’t the same way. “Yeah. He said that phone sex is the only thing that keeps long distance relationships together.”
Chris’ voice was dry and unamused when he answered. “Oh really?”
Shifting again in the chair so that he was slouched even further down into it and his thighs were spread widely, Cory settled in for paraphrasing him and Mark’s earlier conversation, noting the change in Chris’ voice and knowing he had to back pedal a little bit. Obviously Chris wasn’t fond of Mark’s assertion that the two of them wouldn’t be able to make this work if they didn’t have phone sex. “Yeah. He said that it helps relieve the tension of not seeing each other as much.”
Chris made that little clucking tsk noise that he did with his tongue when he wasn’t sure whether to be amused or offended by something. “But it’s not like sex is the only thing I miss about not seeing you. I miss just hanging out with you and going out and other stuff too.”
Cory couldn’t help but smile at that as he picked at a loose thread on his jeans pocket. It was amazing that he’d said the same thing to Mark just hours earlier. He and Chris really were meant to be together. “I know babe. I miss all of that too. It was just something that got stuck in my head after Mark said it, you know how convincing he can be sometimes.”
“Yeah. What else did he say about it?” Chris sounded a little wary about asking, but also pretty curious about the answer.
Cory rolled his eyes and tried to remember everything that Mark had said to him earlier at lunch while trying to convince him. He wasn’t sure how much of it he should share with Chris, he didn’t want his boyfriend to feel like he was trying to convince him to try it or anything. “That couples need to reconnect in a physical way on a regular basis and that phone sex is a good way to do that when you’re far away from each other. And that it was a lot of fun once you got over yourself and forgot to be self conscious. And also that unless I talked to you about it, how could I be sure that you didn’t want to try it.”
Chris snorted a laugh over the line. “Mark does remember me right? I mean I know I’ve been gone awhile, but it hasn’t been that long. He does remember who he’s talking about right?”
Smirking a little, Cory allowed his amusement to show in his voice. “You would think so.”
Still laughing a little, Chris managed an answer. “Yeah, so he should know that phone sex wouldn’t really be my thing. And so should you. And if I did want that, I’d have talked to you about it.”
Cory sighed and let his head tip back over the back of the chair to stare at the ceiling, wondering just how this conversation had ended up here. “I know that babe, I do. It’s just that this sucks. Being apart from you like this, and I don’t know, I guess I figured that if talking dirty to you while we jerked off together would help with that it would be worth any of the weirdness and embarrassment that was sure to precede that.”
“I guess so. I’m just not sure that it would help. I’m not sure it wouldn’t just make me miss you more.” Chris sounded absolutely miserable by the time he finished speaking.
Heart squeezing painfully in his chest at the sound of his boyfriend’s tone of voice, Cory tried to joke and keep the conversation light. He hated hearing Chris sound that upset. “It’s possible. I’m easy to miss.”
Only, Chris didn’t seem to take it as a joke, answering in a forlorn and desolate voice. “Yes, yes you are.”
The fingers of Cory’s free hand clenched into fists at his inability to fix this, to make this okay for his boyfriend. Shit, he had fucked this whole thing up so badly. How had he managed to suggest phone sex and almost bring his boyfriend to tears? What a loser. “Yeah, well, I think I’ve depressed us enough for one evening. So I’m guessing it’s a ‘no’ to the phone sex thing then.”
Chris huffed a little laugh, but he still sounded pretty shaken up as he answered. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s a ‘no.’”
“Okay then, goodnight Chris.” Cory’s voice was subdued and somber. This probably qualified him for the Worst Boyfriend on the Planet Award.
Chris matched Cory’s somber tone in his own quiet but deadly serious voice. “Goodnight Cory, I love you.”
Cory mustered up all of the sincerity he could and suppressed all the guilt he had over upsetting Chris. “Love you too, babe.”
---
Four days later, it was Friday night and Cory had just gotten back from a late recording session. He and Mark both worked as studio musicians for artists recording on the label they worked for to supplement their income and to help keep their love of making music fresh.
They also played in a band at a local bar a few nights a week with three other guys who weren’t serious about taking it anywhere either and just wanted to have a little fun. Jared and Jensen were both actors trying to break into the business and looking to relieve a little stress every now and then, and Kevin was an accountant who spent most of his days being buttoned-up and conservative and so once a week felt the need to let loose, be loud and play the bass like nobody’s business in front of a few hundred writhing bodies.
Cory loved getting the opportunity to make music so often, and it helped ease some of the gnawing loneliness he felt without Chris being here. Or at least it did until he was finished recording and felt the need to call Chris as soon as he stepped out of the studio. Which is exactly what he’d done.
They’d been talking during Cory’s entire ride home, Chris’ smooth voice soothing him and bringing him down from the restless, jangling, buzzing sensation that playing the drums always gave him. He usually preferred to get rid of the restlessness by fucking, but talking to Chris would do.
Cory unlocked the door and stepped into his apartment, grunting a greeting at Mark who was sprawled on the couch watching a replay of the Cowboys game from Monday night on the NFL network. Texans and their Cowboys football…
Mark raised his hand in acknowledgement but didn’t take his eyes off the game.
Cory didn’t know how he could be so invested in it when he already knew who won, but then being from Canada he didn’t really get the whole football obsession anyway. Ignoring Mark and his single-minded focus on the TV, Cory continued to his room, shutting the door and flipping on his radio as soon as he got there.
He realized Chris was still on the other line, waiting patiently and breathing softly into the speaker for him to continue with their previous conversation. “Sorry babe. I had to unlock the door.”
Chris hummed softly in dismissal. “’S okay. So you’re home now?”
Kicking off his shoes, Cory pushed them over to the corner by his closet with his toes. “Yeah, made it safe and sound.”
Chris hummed again. “Good. So I’ve been thinking.”
Cory snorted a little at his boyfriend’s serious tone of voice and couldn’t resist teasing him a little. “A dangerous pastime.”
“Oh shut up, I’m being serious here.” Chris was trying to sound put-out, but laughter could clearly be heard in his voice.
Cory settled back on his bead and put one arm behind his head to serve as a pillow. “Sorry.” Cory apologized even though he wasn’t sorry at all. He loved when Chris got like this, open and bright and amused and he could clearly picture the look on his face, the soft smile he’d be wearing on the other end of the line. “Thinking about what?”
“Phone sex.”
Cory blinked in surprise. Chris was using his ‘no-nonsense’ voice that meant he wouldn’t be agreeable to any inappropriate jokes from Cory, so Cory wasn’t exactly sure how to respond to that. He was pretty sure Chris was trying to go somewhere with this, the only problem was, Cory had absolutely no idea where. Hadn’t they decided that last time the phone sex thing had turned into an unmitigated disaster and that it was better left alone? “Oh, uh. Okay.”
Still using the same persuasive, practical tone, Chris elaborated somewhat. “We should do it.”
“We should?” Cory’s voice came out in a thin, reedy register that he would deny held any similarity at all to a squeak until his dying breath. Even though he’d been the one to bring up the topic in the first place, there was something seriously terrifying about Chris wanting to try it for real. He’d never really expected to actually have to go through with it.
“Yeah.”
Scrubbing one hand over his face, Cory searched his brain for some sort of response. Was it possible to tell your boyfriend that the thought of having phone sex with him scared the absolute shit out of you without being offensive? Cory didn’t think so, and he wasn’t exactly inclined to try it. He’d stick with something a little more neutral for now. “Well this is a one-eighty from your view a few nights ago.”
Chris huffed in apparent impatience. “I told you I’ve been thinking about it.”
“And you came to the conclusion that we should try it?” Cory honestly couldn’t help the pleading tone of denial that crept into his voice. Just what exactly did Chris think this would accomplish? Didn’t they agree the last time they’d talked about it that Mark was completely insane and there was no need for them to ever bring this up again? Obviously they weren’t in the same page with this.
Chris sighed, blowing static across the line. “Yeah, I mean, I hate to say it, but Mark’s right. Sex is an important part of any relationship, and we’re not getting it, so we should take what we can get.”
Swallowing loudly, Cory considered it. It wasn’t exactly something he wanted to do, but first Mark, and now Chris were being so convincing, made it all sound so logical, that Cory wasn’t sure any more. And this was something Chris obviously wanted, if he cared enough to ask for it. Chris usually didn’t ask for much, was content with whatever Cory gave him in their relationship, and something about that just made Cory want to give him the world. It was seriously hard to deny Chris anything he wanted. “Uh, okay. If that’s what you really want.” Closing his eyes, Cory regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth.
Chris continued on like Cory had never spoken and he was still trying to convince him. Perhaps he’d heard the note of desperation Cory was trying so hard to hide. “I think we should at least try it. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen right? If it gets awkward or something, we just quit. And who knows, it might be fun.”
“Yeah okay.” Cory sighed and rubbed at his eyes again, knowing he didn’t sound anything at all close to enthusiastic and that Chris would pick up on it, but at least he was giving it a shot.
There was an awkward pause then, where Cory just sat and listened to Chris breathe. It was then that he realized that Chris really didn’t have any clue what he was doing either. The thought should have made him feel better, but it only made him more anxious. He was pretty sure he was going to fuck this up royally.
Figuring that if this was ever going to get underway, that he was going to have to start it, Cory eased himself up his bed so that he was sitting and leaning against the headboard. Wracking his brain for a way to do this and not sound like an idiot, he couldn’t come up with anything, so he just blurted out the first thing that came to mind, even though it made him sound like a total slime-ball porn actor. “So… what are you wearing?”
Chris laughed lightly. “Seriously? That’s what you’re going with?”
Forcing down a frustrated growl, Cory did his best to clamp down on his embarrassment. “Come on Chris. If we’re going to do this you can’t laugh at me every time I say something.” It was bad enough that they were doing this at all, he didn’t need Chris making him feel like an incompetent idiot on top of it.
Across the line, Chris blew out a frustrated sigh. “I know, I know. It was just the cheesy porno voice and the crazy line, it just cracked me up is all. I’m sorry, let’s start over.” His voice was lower and he sounded frustrated.
Cory didn’t know if Chris’ frustration was aimed at him or at Chris himself, but either way all it did was ramp up his own frustration. He felt stupid and awkward and so, so fucking out of his depth, and this was something that Chris wanted, that he’d asked for, that would make him feel better about being hundreds of miles away from Cory, and Cory couldn’t give it to him. So yeah, he was a little frustrated himself, and Chris’ frustration wasn’t helping.
But Cory was determined not to let that completely derail this whole attempt before it even got started. He looked down at himself and registered his fully clothed body and used deductive reasoning to figure that Chris was more than likely in the same state on the other end of the line, and Cory was pretty talented in most of the bedroom arts but it was going to be pretty fucking difficult to have sex, over the phone or no, when the only thing he’d taken off when he’d gotten in bed was his shoes. You had to actually be able to get to the equipment to do something with it. “Okay. So should we get naked or…”
There was a slight pause before Chris’ voice floated softly over the line. “Uh, I think maybe we should work up to that.”
Chris sounded hesitant and unsure, and not at all turned on, and that was not at all how this was supposed to go. This ship was sinking fast, and Cory knew that everything he could do to fix it would just be the equivalent of hopelessly bailing water since he had no clue what the fuck he was doing, but he had to try anyway. He scrubbed a hand over his face again. “Yeah, okay. Maybe we should talk about what I would do to you if I was there?”
Chris took a deep breath that sounded like a cross between a sigh of relief and an attempt to steady himself. “That sounds good.”
At Chris’ positive tone, Cory closed his eyes and allowed himself to picture all of the images, all of the want for his boyfriend that he’d been stuffing down and ruthlessly suppressing for the last eight months. There were so many of them, so many flash-bulb quick images that would hit him throughout the day that were too painful, too steeped in longing and denial for Cory to examine as they came that he’d buried in furthest corners of his mind only to revisit in moments of extreme weakness and loneliness.
The images shuffled through his brain quickly, still photographs of pornographic actions, the heat of which muted by affectionate intentions, and reduced Cory to biting his lip and breathing rapidly as a mixture of oily arousal and crippling longing twisted sharply in his gut. God he missed Chris so fucking much.
And this had stopped being fun, light, playful. It had even stopped being awkward and embarrassing. Now this entire fucked-up situation had just become nauseatingly depressing and Cory had no idea how to fix it. All thinking about Chris and how much he wanted to touch him, hold him, fuck him, was doing was driving home how much he wanted to do it in reality and that he couldn’t. It was bringing into sharp relief the intense sense of loss, almost akin to grief, that he felt over Chris not being right here next to him.
But he had to push on, push through it, because Chris wanted this, and Chris so rarely asked him for anything. His sweet, laid-back, loving boyfriend gave him so much and asked for so little in return, that Cory damn well wasn’t ready to deny him anything, even if it hurt some. Or a lot. Whatever.
So he let the images keep coming, keep sliding through his mind like sentient, parasitic viruses scrabbling for purchase in his brain. And while they were varied and colorful, one act kept repeating itself over and over, so Cory figured he’s start with that. Eyes still closed, still breathing unsteadily, he tried to set the fantasy even as a white-hot stab of misery burned hotly through his insides. “Okay, well I’d start with kissing you. I’ve missed that so much, just kissing you.”
Chris’ breath hitched and when he spoke his voice sounded a little raw, rough around the edges. “Yeah, that would be nice. I miss kissing you too.”
Encouraged by Chris’ slightly more engaged response than what he’d been working with earlier, Cory pressed on, recalling both his earlier thoughts about his state of dress and times in the past when heatedly kissing Chris led to the quick and clumsy shedding of clothes. “Yeah, then I would start undressing you.”
“Mmmhmm.” Chris’ low hum of agreement was breathy and quiet.
Cory was so glad that this was working for Chris even though he himself found it more painful than hot. Looking down at his crotch and his noticeable lack of arousal, he acknowledged that one good thing about phone sex was that at least Chris couldn’t see his disinterest, he could keep faking it for as long as it took to get Chris off (because that was what really mattered here) and Chris never had to know he wasn’t totally interested in it.
But then again, if Chris were actually here, then Cory wouldn’t have to be faking a damn thing. He’d definitely be interested then.
But Chris wasn’t here, and he wasn’t going to magically appear, no matter how much Cory wanted him to, and this was all Cory was going to get for now. Just Chris’ voice, Chris’ pleasure at his own hands, and a long distance orgasm. And while the thought was certainly sexy enough, probably enough to have Cory hard and panting for release under normal circumstances, he just couldn’t make himself get turned on over the thought when it hurt so damn much.
But the goal wasn’t for him to get off, this was all about Chris. So he slumped down his headboard a little further and pictured what Chris would look like when he came, all flushed cheeks and cock in hand, phone pressed against the side of his face, and biting his lip as he fell over the edge with Cory whispering dirty words in his ear. And that thought, that picture, finally set a low buzz of arousal humming quietly beneath his skin. He could definitely see the appeal in that, and hoped he was doing something right so he could get Chris there soon. “Are you picturing it? Are you thinking about me?”
And that was definitely the wrong thing to say. Chris made a sharp, angry sound and his voice crackled with frustration. “Of course I’m thinking about you. Who else would I be thinking about right now?”
And Cory just couldn’t hold it back anymore, all of his own frustration, pain and confusion bled into his voice as he snapped back at his boyfriend angrily. “I don’t know Chris, I’m not there, I don’t know who else you could be thinking about.”
Sucking in a shocked breath, Chris barely breathed out his next words, voice tight and low with suppressed fury. “What the hell are you saying?”
Chris’ anger swiftly cut through all of Cory’s own anger and it quickly dissolved like it had never been there. He blew out a frustrated sigh and banged the back of his head against the headboard, using the dull sting to help him focus his thoughts. “Shit. I’m sorry Chris. This is just- I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here and you kinda took me by surprise with this, and it was harder than I expected it to be and I dunno, I just freaked out a little. I’m sorry.”
Blowing out his own tired, lengthy sigh, Chris answered, voice no longer saturated with anger. “I know. This is weird for me too. I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
Cory felt one corner of his mouth hitch up in an attempt at a smile. God his boyfriend was amazing, always so willing to forgive the immense amount of stupidity Cory exhibited on a daily basis. “It’s okay, maybe we should just try this again another night when we’re both a little more prepared for it.”
“Yeah. I’ll talk to you tomorrow Cory. Love you.”
Squeezing his eyes tight to help suppress the overwhelming desire to reach out and touch Chris in the flesh, Cory choked out his own goodbye. “Goodnight babe. Love you too.”
Hanging up, Cory tossed his phone to the side and flung one arm over his eyes. Well that hadn’t gone well. Maybe Chris would give up now, would just totally forget this whole thing after how fantastically bad that had been. Because Cory wasn’t sure he could handle another attempt.
---
Chris didn’t forget about it.
In fact, he brought it up the next time they talked on Saturday. “Okay, so I know the phone sex thing went horribly awry the last time we tried it, but maybe we should try it again.”
Flopping down on his bed, stomach down, Cory pressed his phone to his ear. He didn’t know if he was exactly ready for a repeat of the last time they tried this, but Chris sounded so confident, so sure of himself this time that the slow curl of anxiety trying to unfurl in his belly wasn’t really making his stomach flip over with nerves yet. More like just settling in and making him wary of where this conversation could go. “Yeah?”
Chris hummed low in his throat. “Yeah. I’ve got the apartment to myself, I miss you like crazy, and I have nothing better to do with my Saturday night than listen to my ridiculously sexy boyfriend talk dirty to me and tell me all of the crazy hot things he’s going to do to me the next time I see him.”
Chris’ words hit Cory like a punch to the gut. His boyfriend’s voice was low, sexy and he sounded happy and playful, Cory’s favorite combination. He could feel his dick twitch in interest at Chris’ suggestion and he figured what the hell, it was already going better than the last time they tried, it wouldn’t hurt to give this phone sex thing another shot. “Yeah, I could be into that.”
“Oh yeah? What else could you be into?” Chris’ voice was now nothing but a husky purr.
Jesus Christ, the things that tone of voice from Chris did to Cory’s dick should be illegal. Cory’s blood began packing up for the winter and migrating south to pool in his groin, and Cory rolled his hips against the mattress to encourage the process along. Consequently this shut down all higher brain function, a common occurrence when Chris was trying to be sexy, and he blurted out the cheesiest line imaginable. “Well I know I’d really like to be into you.”
Chris snorted delicately in amusement. “I never realized how cheesy you were until we started trying to do this.”
“Dude seriously, insulting me is not a good way to help me maintain my hard-on.” And while there was a hint of truth in that statement, Cory had heard the fond amusement in Chris’ tone and knew his boyfriend wasn’t trying to hurt him. It seemed like they were both committed to keeping this light and fun this time around, and Cory could work with that. This felt so much more natural, so much more like them, like a natural growth and extension of where their relationship was now instead of the forced, awkward disaster their last attempt at this had been.
“You’re hard already?” Chris sounded a little surprised, but also really turned on.
Hearing the arousal dripping in Chris’ voice at the thought of Cory being hard for him, Cory counted that as a win. The last lingering traced of self-consciousness and embarrassment faded and he dropped his own voice down to a lower, huskier register, hoping to help Chris along with his own hard-on. Because God help him, he really wanted to do this now. “Getting there. You were talking in your sex voice and saying shit about me doing hot things to you. That definitely gets the blood pumping south.”
“Sex voice?” Chris’ voice was still the breathless, insanely sexy purr but this time it was flavored with a little confusion as well.
Feeling even more blood filling his dick, causing it to press against the bed in a glorious tribute to the scientific phenomenon known as friction, Cory’s voice dropped yet another octave. “Yeah, you have this sexy voice you talk in whenever we’re having sex or you really want to that’s really freaking hot.”
“I do?”
Chris’ voice was starting to get that hungry, breathless quality to it that drove Cory absolutely fucking crazy with want and he was now hard enough to hurt, but he was surprised at the genuine surprise in his boyfriend’s voice. Was Chris really that unaware of how insanely sexy and needy he sounded when he let himself go? Did he really not know how completely wanton he sounded when he was aroused? If not, that was kind of fucking hot, that fact that he was totally unaware of how far gone he could get, how much he let go and lost it. “Yeah, that voice right there. I can’t think about anything but sex when you talk like that.”
“Hmm. Good to know.”
The low hum of Chris’ voice sent a spark of heat from Cory’s ear, all the way down his spine straight to his cock, pulsing hotly in his balls. He was really starting to see where Mark was coming from about this whole phone sex thing, why he had pushed it so hard. This was starting to get seriously fucking hot.
Cory rolled over on his back, contemplating unzipping and pulling out his dick to give it a few lazy pulls, when there was a muffled sound on the other end of the line followed by a barely audible voice saying ‘Chris’ sounding far away.
“Hang on a second Cory.” Chris whispered hurriedly into the phone and then there was a static-y sounding rustle as Chris obviously pulled the phone away from his ear and pressed it to his chest to mute his end of the conversation.
Cory could hear Chris ask ‘Amber?’ clearly and then a door opening which clued him in to the fact that the muffled sound he’d heard earlier must have been a knock on the door, and then there was a muffled conversation where the only thing Cory was able to clearly identify was Chris saying, ‘I’m so sorry sweetie’ and then Chris was back.
“Uh, baby, I hate to do this, but Amber’s sort of having a crisis right now. I need to go.” Chris’ voice sounded tight and strained and not at all happy with this turn of events.
Sighing in frustration, Cory heaved himself up into a sitting position and tried not to let his frustration show, Chris really didn’t need him being an insensitive prick right now, but there was no explaining that to his dick right now. “Sure babe. It’s fine, take care of your friend. Call me later, okay. And I hope everything’s okay with Amber.”
Chris’ gratitude at Cory’s response could be heard clearly in his voice. “Thanks Cory, I’ll call you tomorrow. And Amber’s fine, just some boy trouble. I foresee a night of bitching and watching romantic comedies in my immediate future.”
Smiling at that, Cory huffed out a little laugh. “Alright babe. Good luck with that. Talk to you tomorrow, love you.”
“Love you too.”
Cory disconnected the call and dropped his phone on his bedside table in frustration. He didn’t begrudge Chris the need to take care of Amber when she was upset, but it did certainly leave him with a hard dick and nothing to do with it. He reached over and pulled a bottle of lube out of the drawer and resigned himself to taking care of the problem himself without Chris’ sexy voice purring in his ear while he did it.
---
Part 2
Author: jett_black8803
Recipient: quackaquacka
Rating: NC-17
Words: 14,700
Pairing(s): Cory/Chris
Summary: A conversation with Mark leads Cory to try something with Chris that he's never done. And they fail at it. Spectacularly. Several times. But they eventually get it right.
Warnings: This fic contains phone sex, so I'm not sure if I should warn for things mentioned or not, but just in case, there is talk of moderate submission, come play and fisting, but none of those things actually occur.
Notes: Long author's note is long... First thing: to quackaquacka, I have no idea how your list of prompts turned into this and I'm very sorry if this is not at all to your liking. I'll write you another one if that's the case I swear. This was just the idea my brain latched onto and I ran with it. Also, I hope the brief mention of fisting does not qualify as one of the hardcore level kinks that squick you. I debated very strongly about taking it out, but with the tone of the story it felt necessary, so I left it. But I figured since there was no actual fisting going on that I was safe yeah?
Secondly, this fic totally ate my brain and just refused to freaking end. It currently sits at almost 15k words and that's after I cut out about 9k that I just couldn't make work and knew I couldn't finish by the March 15th deadline. I am thinking about finishing those missing scenes and posting them as like outtakes or something, so if you want to see that let me know.
Oh yeah, an it's an AU and I had to play with their ages some to make it work. Chris is now 3 years younger than Cory and Mark instead of eight. Right, so that's about it... hope you enjoy!
Talking the Talk
Cory wasn’t sure how he’d gotten himself into this situation, but he was pretty sure it was Mark’s fault. Well, not this situation in its entirety, because he knew how he’d ended up here and that it was no one’s fault really. Unless of course you considered the universe a person. In that case, Cory could totally blame the universe and would be completely justified in punching the universe in the face because long distance relationships sucked.
But honestly, you couldn’t really blame anyone for that, this was just how the cluster-fuck he lovingly referred to as his life ended up. It wasn’t Marks’ fault (not the long distance-ness of his relationship, anyway) it wasn’t his fault, and it wasn’t Chris’ fault.
Especially not Chris’ fault.
Because Chris had done everything humanly possible to prevent this situation and when it had become abundantly clear that this long distance thing couldn’t be avoided, he’d done everything in his power to make it more bearable. It was just simply no one’s fault at all that Chris was almost three years younger than Cory and therefore wouldn’t graduate until after he did.
It was only going to be one year later though, thank God. Because despite his age, and starting so far behind Cory, Chris had worked hard, going to summer and night classes, in order to graduate as soon as possible. And even still, he’d tried to transfer to UCLA from UW for his last year in order to be closer to Cory, but so many of his credits weren’t going to transfer it would have set him back almost a whole year and he would have lost his financial aid. It just hadn’t been possible for Chris to follow Cory to LA yet.
But they only had one more year of this, Chris was set to graduate this spring, and May couldn’t get here fast enough. Because Cory loved his job, was really grateful that both he and Mark were offered entry level positions at a popular record company in LA, because it was an excellent start toward working his way into his dream job of producing music, but he was starting to suspect he loved his boyfriend more.
Being almost eighteen hours away from Chris was killing him. And everyone knew it.
Or at least everyone who knew him at all in LA. Which pretty much amounted to Mark, and that was about it. Which was how he’d ended up in this specific situation: sitting in his tiny bedroom in the apartment he shared with Mark, in the computer chair he’d gotten from a yard sale, toying with the hem of his shirt and contemplating trying to bring up the subject of phone sex with his boyfriend of more than two years.
This was totally Mark’s fault.
After yet another of their many lunchtime conversations turned to Chris, and how much Cory missed him and how he couldn’t wait until he moved to LA, and how he hoped he could find a job after he graduated, and did Mark think that their boss could help since Chris wanted to be a music journalist and it was the same industry, and was it inappropriate to even ask, Mark had point blank asked Cory if he and Chris were having phone sex.
Cory had just blinked at him in surprise for a second before sputtering and emphatically answering ‘no,’ feeling embarrassed and exposed even though Mark was his closest friend and he shouldn’t be embarrassed about anything in front of him.
Mark had stared at him for a few long seconds and then said, “Well you should. It would relieve a lot of that tension, dude.”
And that was how their entire lunch hour had ended up being wasted on Mark trying to enlighten Cory on the merits of phone sex.
Except it hadn’t exactly been a total waste. Some of the things Mark said had made a lot of sense, and Cory couldn’t deny that while he missed a lot of other stuff about being with Chris way more, he still really, really missed the sex. It was hard to go from having sex just about every other day, and then daily there toward the end when Cory knew he was about to leave, to nothing but his right hand for months. Maybe Mark was right and it was starting to make him lose his mind a little bit.
Because, God help him, he couldn’t quit thinking about it. Couldn’t help replaying some of Mark’s more convincing arguments in his head as he sat and listened to Chris talk about his day nine hundred and fifty four miles away. Was he seriously contemplating trying this? Was he fucking insane?
Chris’ soft, sweet voice drifted across the line, startling Cory out of his daydreaming. “Well okay Cory, I guess I better let you go. I know you have to get up early tomorrow. Have a good night.”
Oh Jesus, it was now or never if Cory was going to do this. Cory settled back in his chair and spread his thighs a little, trying to pitch his voice low in what he hoped was a sexy purr. Mostly he just felt like a total tool. “Mmm. We could make it a really good night.” There was a part of him that was hoping that Chris would ignore the innuendo, just let it pass right on by him and continue with his goodbyes without pointing out how seriously fucking pathetic that had been.
No such luck. Chris’ voice floated across the line in a surprised hiss. “What?”
Feeling his cheeks flush, Cory bit his lip and stammered out a response. God, what the hell had he been thinking? His boyfriend was far too smart to not know what that meant and far too direct to let it go without comment. “Uh. Nothing.”
Chris huffed out a soft laugh and his voice was equal parts amused and incredulous. “Cory, are you trying to have phone sex with me?”
“Uh, no?” He hadn’t meant to make it sound like a question, but that was the way it came out, hesitant and stilted and embarrassing.
“Are you sure about that? Because it sounded like you were trying. Badly.”
“Uh, well…” Rubbing a hand over the back of his neck, Cory sighed in resignation. He felt stupid and insecure in a way he hadn’t felt around Chris since they were just friends and he had the crush to end all crushes on the younger man and felt like a total idiot every time he opened his mouth to talk to him because all he could think about was how much he wanted to ask him out. “Aw, fuck. It’s just something stupid Mark said.”
“Mark?” Chris’ voice held genuine surprise.
Cory smiled a little wanly and shrugged even though Chris couldn’t see it. “Yeah. I was talking about you, and saying how bad it sucked not to be able to see you whenever I wanted, and he asked me if we were having phone sex.”
“That sounds like Mark.” A genuine fondness could be heard in Chris’ tone along with a little amusement.
Cory felt his smile stretch into something more genuine, thinking about his friend and his tendency to psychoanalyze everyone he knew. And to also make every situation about sex, or the lack thereof. “Yeah.”
Unidentifiable rustling noises could be heard on the other end of the line, like Chris was shifting positions or getting more comfortable or something. “And what did you say?”
Cory snorted. “The truth of course. That we’ve never tried it, that it’s never come up.”
Chris hummed in the back of his throat. “And what did Mark have to say about that?”
Picturing the look on his friend’s face during the conversation, Cory couldn’t help but laugh a little. “He was shocked. Genuinely really surprised.”
“Really?” Chris sounded more than a little surprised himself.
Cory shrugged again. Mark tended to come across as shy the first time you met him, when in reality he was just private, liked to keep his thoughts and opinions to himself and his friends. But to those who knew him well, he was quite direct and upfront and quite shameless about most topics, and honestly couldn’t understand why everyone else wasn’t the same way. “Yeah. He said that phone sex is the only thing that keeps long distance relationships together.”
Chris’ voice was dry and unamused when he answered. “Oh really?”
Shifting again in the chair so that he was slouched even further down into it and his thighs were spread widely, Cory settled in for paraphrasing him and Mark’s earlier conversation, noting the change in Chris’ voice and knowing he had to back pedal a little bit. Obviously Chris wasn’t fond of Mark’s assertion that the two of them wouldn’t be able to make this work if they didn’t have phone sex. “Yeah. He said that it helps relieve the tension of not seeing each other as much.”
Chris made that little clucking tsk noise that he did with his tongue when he wasn’t sure whether to be amused or offended by something. “But it’s not like sex is the only thing I miss about not seeing you. I miss just hanging out with you and going out and other stuff too.”
Cory couldn’t help but smile at that as he picked at a loose thread on his jeans pocket. It was amazing that he’d said the same thing to Mark just hours earlier. He and Chris really were meant to be together. “I know babe. I miss all of that too. It was just something that got stuck in my head after Mark said it, you know how convincing he can be sometimes.”
“Yeah. What else did he say about it?” Chris sounded a little wary about asking, but also pretty curious about the answer.
Cory rolled his eyes and tried to remember everything that Mark had said to him earlier at lunch while trying to convince him. He wasn’t sure how much of it he should share with Chris, he didn’t want his boyfriend to feel like he was trying to convince him to try it or anything. “That couples need to reconnect in a physical way on a regular basis and that phone sex is a good way to do that when you’re far away from each other. And that it was a lot of fun once you got over yourself and forgot to be self conscious. And also that unless I talked to you about it, how could I be sure that you didn’t want to try it.”
Chris snorted a laugh over the line. “Mark does remember me right? I mean I know I’ve been gone awhile, but it hasn’t been that long. He does remember who he’s talking about right?”
Smirking a little, Cory allowed his amusement to show in his voice. “You would think so.”
Still laughing a little, Chris managed an answer. “Yeah, so he should know that phone sex wouldn’t really be my thing. And so should you. And if I did want that, I’d have talked to you about it.”
Cory sighed and let his head tip back over the back of the chair to stare at the ceiling, wondering just how this conversation had ended up here. “I know that babe, I do. It’s just that this sucks. Being apart from you like this, and I don’t know, I guess I figured that if talking dirty to you while we jerked off together would help with that it would be worth any of the weirdness and embarrassment that was sure to precede that.”
“I guess so. I’m just not sure that it would help. I’m not sure it wouldn’t just make me miss you more.” Chris sounded absolutely miserable by the time he finished speaking.
Heart squeezing painfully in his chest at the sound of his boyfriend’s tone of voice, Cory tried to joke and keep the conversation light. He hated hearing Chris sound that upset. “It’s possible. I’m easy to miss.”
Only, Chris didn’t seem to take it as a joke, answering in a forlorn and desolate voice. “Yes, yes you are.”
The fingers of Cory’s free hand clenched into fists at his inability to fix this, to make this okay for his boyfriend. Shit, he had fucked this whole thing up so badly. How had he managed to suggest phone sex and almost bring his boyfriend to tears? What a loser. “Yeah, well, I think I’ve depressed us enough for one evening. So I’m guessing it’s a ‘no’ to the phone sex thing then.”
Chris huffed a little laugh, but he still sounded pretty shaken up as he answered. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s a ‘no.’”
“Okay then, goodnight Chris.” Cory’s voice was subdued and somber. This probably qualified him for the Worst Boyfriend on the Planet Award.
Chris matched Cory’s somber tone in his own quiet but deadly serious voice. “Goodnight Cory, I love you.”
Cory mustered up all of the sincerity he could and suppressed all the guilt he had over upsetting Chris. “Love you too, babe.”
---
Four days later, it was Friday night and Cory had just gotten back from a late recording session. He and Mark both worked as studio musicians for artists recording on the label they worked for to supplement their income and to help keep their love of making music fresh.
They also played in a band at a local bar a few nights a week with three other guys who weren’t serious about taking it anywhere either and just wanted to have a little fun. Jared and Jensen were both actors trying to break into the business and looking to relieve a little stress every now and then, and Kevin was an accountant who spent most of his days being buttoned-up and conservative and so once a week felt the need to let loose, be loud and play the bass like nobody’s business in front of a few hundred writhing bodies.
Cory loved getting the opportunity to make music so often, and it helped ease some of the gnawing loneliness he felt without Chris being here. Or at least it did until he was finished recording and felt the need to call Chris as soon as he stepped out of the studio. Which is exactly what he’d done.
They’d been talking during Cory’s entire ride home, Chris’ smooth voice soothing him and bringing him down from the restless, jangling, buzzing sensation that playing the drums always gave him. He usually preferred to get rid of the restlessness by fucking, but talking to Chris would do.
Cory unlocked the door and stepped into his apartment, grunting a greeting at Mark who was sprawled on the couch watching a replay of the Cowboys game from Monday night on the NFL network. Texans and their Cowboys football…
Mark raised his hand in acknowledgement but didn’t take his eyes off the game.
Cory didn’t know how he could be so invested in it when he already knew who won, but then being from Canada he didn’t really get the whole football obsession anyway. Ignoring Mark and his single-minded focus on the TV, Cory continued to his room, shutting the door and flipping on his radio as soon as he got there.
He realized Chris was still on the other line, waiting patiently and breathing softly into the speaker for him to continue with their previous conversation. “Sorry babe. I had to unlock the door.”
Chris hummed softly in dismissal. “’S okay. So you’re home now?”
Kicking off his shoes, Cory pushed them over to the corner by his closet with his toes. “Yeah, made it safe and sound.”
Chris hummed again. “Good. So I’ve been thinking.”
Cory snorted a little at his boyfriend’s serious tone of voice and couldn’t resist teasing him a little. “A dangerous pastime.”
“Oh shut up, I’m being serious here.” Chris was trying to sound put-out, but laughter could clearly be heard in his voice.
Cory settled back on his bead and put one arm behind his head to serve as a pillow. “Sorry.” Cory apologized even though he wasn’t sorry at all. He loved when Chris got like this, open and bright and amused and he could clearly picture the look on his face, the soft smile he’d be wearing on the other end of the line. “Thinking about what?”
“Phone sex.”
Cory blinked in surprise. Chris was using his ‘no-nonsense’ voice that meant he wouldn’t be agreeable to any inappropriate jokes from Cory, so Cory wasn’t exactly sure how to respond to that. He was pretty sure Chris was trying to go somewhere with this, the only problem was, Cory had absolutely no idea where. Hadn’t they decided that last time the phone sex thing had turned into an unmitigated disaster and that it was better left alone? “Oh, uh. Okay.”
Still using the same persuasive, practical tone, Chris elaborated somewhat. “We should do it.”
“We should?” Cory’s voice came out in a thin, reedy register that he would deny held any similarity at all to a squeak until his dying breath. Even though he’d been the one to bring up the topic in the first place, there was something seriously terrifying about Chris wanting to try it for real. He’d never really expected to actually have to go through with it.
“Yeah.”
Scrubbing one hand over his face, Cory searched his brain for some sort of response. Was it possible to tell your boyfriend that the thought of having phone sex with him scared the absolute shit out of you without being offensive? Cory didn’t think so, and he wasn’t exactly inclined to try it. He’d stick with something a little more neutral for now. “Well this is a one-eighty from your view a few nights ago.”
Chris huffed in apparent impatience. “I told you I’ve been thinking about it.”
“And you came to the conclusion that we should try it?” Cory honestly couldn’t help the pleading tone of denial that crept into his voice. Just what exactly did Chris think this would accomplish? Didn’t they agree the last time they’d talked about it that Mark was completely insane and there was no need for them to ever bring this up again? Obviously they weren’t in the same page with this.
Chris sighed, blowing static across the line. “Yeah, I mean, I hate to say it, but Mark’s right. Sex is an important part of any relationship, and we’re not getting it, so we should take what we can get.”
Swallowing loudly, Cory considered it. It wasn’t exactly something he wanted to do, but first Mark, and now Chris were being so convincing, made it all sound so logical, that Cory wasn’t sure any more. And this was something Chris obviously wanted, if he cared enough to ask for it. Chris usually didn’t ask for much, was content with whatever Cory gave him in their relationship, and something about that just made Cory want to give him the world. It was seriously hard to deny Chris anything he wanted. “Uh, okay. If that’s what you really want.” Closing his eyes, Cory regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth.
Chris continued on like Cory had never spoken and he was still trying to convince him. Perhaps he’d heard the note of desperation Cory was trying so hard to hide. “I think we should at least try it. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen right? If it gets awkward or something, we just quit. And who knows, it might be fun.”
“Yeah okay.” Cory sighed and rubbed at his eyes again, knowing he didn’t sound anything at all close to enthusiastic and that Chris would pick up on it, but at least he was giving it a shot.
There was an awkward pause then, where Cory just sat and listened to Chris breathe. It was then that he realized that Chris really didn’t have any clue what he was doing either. The thought should have made him feel better, but it only made him more anxious. He was pretty sure he was going to fuck this up royally.
Figuring that if this was ever going to get underway, that he was going to have to start it, Cory eased himself up his bed so that he was sitting and leaning against the headboard. Wracking his brain for a way to do this and not sound like an idiot, he couldn’t come up with anything, so he just blurted out the first thing that came to mind, even though it made him sound like a total slime-ball porn actor. “So… what are you wearing?”
Chris laughed lightly. “Seriously? That’s what you’re going with?”
Forcing down a frustrated growl, Cory did his best to clamp down on his embarrassment. “Come on Chris. If we’re going to do this you can’t laugh at me every time I say something.” It was bad enough that they were doing this at all, he didn’t need Chris making him feel like an incompetent idiot on top of it.
Across the line, Chris blew out a frustrated sigh. “I know, I know. It was just the cheesy porno voice and the crazy line, it just cracked me up is all. I’m sorry, let’s start over.” His voice was lower and he sounded frustrated.
Cory didn’t know if Chris’ frustration was aimed at him or at Chris himself, but either way all it did was ramp up his own frustration. He felt stupid and awkward and so, so fucking out of his depth, and this was something that Chris wanted, that he’d asked for, that would make him feel better about being hundreds of miles away from Cory, and Cory couldn’t give it to him. So yeah, he was a little frustrated himself, and Chris’ frustration wasn’t helping.
But Cory was determined not to let that completely derail this whole attempt before it even got started. He looked down at himself and registered his fully clothed body and used deductive reasoning to figure that Chris was more than likely in the same state on the other end of the line, and Cory was pretty talented in most of the bedroom arts but it was going to be pretty fucking difficult to have sex, over the phone or no, when the only thing he’d taken off when he’d gotten in bed was his shoes. You had to actually be able to get to the equipment to do something with it. “Okay. So should we get naked or…”
There was a slight pause before Chris’ voice floated softly over the line. “Uh, I think maybe we should work up to that.”
Chris sounded hesitant and unsure, and not at all turned on, and that was not at all how this was supposed to go. This ship was sinking fast, and Cory knew that everything he could do to fix it would just be the equivalent of hopelessly bailing water since he had no clue what the fuck he was doing, but he had to try anyway. He scrubbed a hand over his face again. “Yeah, okay. Maybe we should talk about what I would do to you if I was there?”
Chris took a deep breath that sounded like a cross between a sigh of relief and an attempt to steady himself. “That sounds good.”
At Chris’ positive tone, Cory closed his eyes and allowed himself to picture all of the images, all of the want for his boyfriend that he’d been stuffing down and ruthlessly suppressing for the last eight months. There were so many of them, so many flash-bulb quick images that would hit him throughout the day that were too painful, too steeped in longing and denial for Cory to examine as they came that he’d buried in furthest corners of his mind only to revisit in moments of extreme weakness and loneliness.
The images shuffled through his brain quickly, still photographs of pornographic actions, the heat of which muted by affectionate intentions, and reduced Cory to biting his lip and breathing rapidly as a mixture of oily arousal and crippling longing twisted sharply in his gut. God he missed Chris so fucking much.
And this had stopped being fun, light, playful. It had even stopped being awkward and embarrassing. Now this entire fucked-up situation had just become nauseatingly depressing and Cory had no idea how to fix it. All thinking about Chris and how much he wanted to touch him, hold him, fuck him, was doing was driving home how much he wanted to do it in reality and that he couldn’t. It was bringing into sharp relief the intense sense of loss, almost akin to grief, that he felt over Chris not being right here next to him.
But he had to push on, push through it, because Chris wanted this, and Chris so rarely asked him for anything. His sweet, laid-back, loving boyfriend gave him so much and asked for so little in return, that Cory damn well wasn’t ready to deny him anything, even if it hurt some. Or a lot. Whatever.
So he let the images keep coming, keep sliding through his mind like sentient, parasitic viruses scrabbling for purchase in his brain. And while they were varied and colorful, one act kept repeating itself over and over, so Cory figured he’s start with that. Eyes still closed, still breathing unsteadily, he tried to set the fantasy even as a white-hot stab of misery burned hotly through his insides. “Okay, well I’d start with kissing you. I’ve missed that so much, just kissing you.”
Chris’ breath hitched and when he spoke his voice sounded a little raw, rough around the edges. “Yeah, that would be nice. I miss kissing you too.”
Encouraged by Chris’ slightly more engaged response than what he’d been working with earlier, Cory pressed on, recalling both his earlier thoughts about his state of dress and times in the past when heatedly kissing Chris led to the quick and clumsy shedding of clothes. “Yeah, then I would start undressing you.”
“Mmmhmm.” Chris’ low hum of agreement was breathy and quiet.
Cory was so glad that this was working for Chris even though he himself found it more painful than hot. Looking down at his crotch and his noticeable lack of arousal, he acknowledged that one good thing about phone sex was that at least Chris couldn’t see his disinterest, he could keep faking it for as long as it took to get Chris off (because that was what really mattered here) and Chris never had to know he wasn’t totally interested in it.
But then again, if Chris were actually here, then Cory wouldn’t have to be faking a damn thing. He’d definitely be interested then.
But Chris wasn’t here, and he wasn’t going to magically appear, no matter how much Cory wanted him to, and this was all Cory was going to get for now. Just Chris’ voice, Chris’ pleasure at his own hands, and a long distance orgasm. And while the thought was certainly sexy enough, probably enough to have Cory hard and panting for release under normal circumstances, he just couldn’t make himself get turned on over the thought when it hurt so damn much.
But the goal wasn’t for him to get off, this was all about Chris. So he slumped down his headboard a little further and pictured what Chris would look like when he came, all flushed cheeks and cock in hand, phone pressed against the side of his face, and biting his lip as he fell over the edge with Cory whispering dirty words in his ear. And that thought, that picture, finally set a low buzz of arousal humming quietly beneath his skin. He could definitely see the appeal in that, and hoped he was doing something right so he could get Chris there soon. “Are you picturing it? Are you thinking about me?”
And that was definitely the wrong thing to say. Chris made a sharp, angry sound and his voice crackled with frustration. “Of course I’m thinking about you. Who else would I be thinking about right now?”
And Cory just couldn’t hold it back anymore, all of his own frustration, pain and confusion bled into his voice as he snapped back at his boyfriend angrily. “I don’t know Chris, I’m not there, I don’t know who else you could be thinking about.”
Sucking in a shocked breath, Chris barely breathed out his next words, voice tight and low with suppressed fury. “What the hell are you saying?”
Chris’ anger swiftly cut through all of Cory’s own anger and it quickly dissolved like it had never been there. He blew out a frustrated sigh and banged the back of his head against the headboard, using the dull sting to help him focus his thoughts. “Shit. I’m sorry Chris. This is just- I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here and you kinda took me by surprise with this, and it was harder than I expected it to be and I dunno, I just freaked out a little. I’m sorry.”
Blowing out his own tired, lengthy sigh, Chris answered, voice no longer saturated with anger. “I know. This is weird for me too. I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
Cory felt one corner of his mouth hitch up in an attempt at a smile. God his boyfriend was amazing, always so willing to forgive the immense amount of stupidity Cory exhibited on a daily basis. “It’s okay, maybe we should just try this again another night when we’re both a little more prepared for it.”
“Yeah. I’ll talk to you tomorrow Cory. Love you.”
Squeezing his eyes tight to help suppress the overwhelming desire to reach out and touch Chris in the flesh, Cory choked out his own goodbye. “Goodnight babe. Love you too.”
Hanging up, Cory tossed his phone to the side and flung one arm over his eyes. Well that hadn’t gone well. Maybe Chris would give up now, would just totally forget this whole thing after how fantastically bad that had been. Because Cory wasn’t sure he could handle another attempt.
---
Chris didn’t forget about it.
In fact, he brought it up the next time they talked on Saturday. “Okay, so I know the phone sex thing went horribly awry the last time we tried it, but maybe we should try it again.”
Flopping down on his bed, stomach down, Cory pressed his phone to his ear. He didn’t know if he was exactly ready for a repeat of the last time they tried this, but Chris sounded so confident, so sure of himself this time that the slow curl of anxiety trying to unfurl in his belly wasn’t really making his stomach flip over with nerves yet. More like just settling in and making him wary of where this conversation could go. “Yeah?”
Chris hummed low in his throat. “Yeah. I’ve got the apartment to myself, I miss you like crazy, and I have nothing better to do with my Saturday night than listen to my ridiculously sexy boyfriend talk dirty to me and tell me all of the crazy hot things he’s going to do to me the next time I see him.”
Chris’ words hit Cory like a punch to the gut. His boyfriend’s voice was low, sexy and he sounded happy and playful, Cory’s favorite combination. He could feel his dick twitch in interest at Chris’ suggestion and he figured what the hell, it was already going better than the last time they tried, it wouldn’t hurt to give this phone sex thing another shot. “Yeah, I could be into that.”
“Oh yeah? What else could you be into?” Chris’ voice was now nothing but a husky purr.
Jesus Christ, the things that tone of voice from Chris did to Cory’s dick should be illegal. Cory’s blood began packing up for the winter and migrating south to pool in his groin, and Cory rolled his hips against the mattress to encourage the process along. Consequently this shut down all higher brain function, a common occurrence when Chris was trying to be sexy, and he blurted out the cheesiest line imaginable. “Well I know I’d really like to be into you.”
Chris snorted delicately in amusement. “I never realized how cheesy you were until we started trying to do this.”
“Dude seriously, insulting me is not a good way to help me maintain my hard-on.” And while there was a hint of truth in that statement, Cory had heard the fond amusement in Chris’ tone and knew his boyfriend wasn’t trying to hurt him. It seemed like they were both committed to keeping this light and fun this time around, and Cory could work with that. This felt so much more natural, so much more like them, like a natural growth and extension of where their relationship was now instead of the forced, awkward disaster their last attempt at this had been.
“You’re hard already?” Chris sounded a little surprised, but also really turned on.
Hearing the arousal dripping in Chris’ voice at the thought of Cory being hard for him, Cory counted that as a win. The last lingering traced of self-consciousness and embarrassment faded and he dropped his own voice down to a lower, huskier register, hoping to help Chris along with his own hard-on. Because God help him, he really wanted to do this now. “Getting there. You were talking in your sex voice and saying shit about me doing hot things to you. That definitely gets the blood pumping south.”
“Sex voice?” Chris’ voice was still the breathless, insanely sexy purr but this time it was flavored with a little confusion as well.
Feeling even more blood filling his dick, causing it to press against the bed in a glorious tribute to the scientific phenomenon known as friction, Cory’s voice dropped yet another octave. “Yeah, you have this sexy voice you talk in whenever we’re having sex or you really want to that’s really freaking hot.”
“I do?”
Chris’ voice was starting to get that hungry, breathless quality to it that drove Cory absolutely fucking crazy with want and he was now hard enough to hurt, but he was surprised at the genuine surprise in his boyfriend’s voice. Was Chris really that unaware of how insanely sexy and needy he sounded when he let himself go? Did he really not know how completely wanton he sounded when he was aroused? If not, that was kind of fucking hot, that fact that he was totally unaware of how far gone he could get, how much he let go and lost it. “Yeah, that voice right there. I can’t think about anything but sex when you talk like that.”
“Hmm. Good to know.”
The low hum of Chris’ voice sent a spark of heat from Cory’s ear, all the way down his spine straight to his cock, pulsing hotly in his balls. He was really starting to see where Mark was coming from about this whole phone sex thing, why he had pushed it so hard. This was starting to get seriously fucking hot.
Cory rolled over on his back, contemplating unzipping and pulling out his dick to give it a few lazy pulls, when there was a muffled sound on the other end of the line followed by a barely audible voice saying ‘Chris’ sounding far away.
“Hang on a second Cory.” Chris whispered hurriedly into the phone and then there was a static-y sounding rustle as Chris obviously pulled the phone away from his ear and pressed it to his chest to mute his end of the conversation.
Cory could hear Chris ask ‘Amber?’ clearly and then a door opening which clued him in to the fact that the muffled sound he’d heard earlier must have been a knock on the door, and then there was a muffled conversation where the only thing Cory was able to clearly identify was Chris saying, ‘I’m so sorry sweetie’ and then Chris was back.
“Uh, baby, I hate to do this, but Amber’s sort of having a crisis right now. I need to go.” Chris’ voice sounded tight and strained and not at all happy with this turn of events.
Sighing in frustration, Cory heaved himself up into a sitting position and tried not to let his frustration show, Chris really didn’t need him being an insensitive prick right now, but there was no explaining that to his dick right now. “Sure babe. It’s fine, take care of your friend. Call me later, okay. And I hope everything’s okay with Amber.”
Chris’ gratitude at Cory’s response could be heard clearly in his voice. “Thanks Cory, I’ll call you tomorrow. And Amber’s fine, just some boy trouble. I foresee a night of bitching and watching romantic comedies in my immediate future.”
Smiling at that, Cory huffed out a little laugh. “Alright babe. Good luck with that. Talk to you tomorrow, love you.”
“Love you too.”
Cory disconnected the call and dropped his phone on his bedside table in frustration. He didn’t begrudge Chris the need to take care of Amber when she was upset, but it did certainly leave him with a hard dick and nothing to do with it. He reached over and pulled a bottle of lube out of the drawer and resigned himself to taking care of the problem himself without Chris’ sexy voice purring in his ear while he did it.
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Part 2