Fic: Nothing to Save
Author: xx_simplyme_xx
Title: Nothing to Save
Pairing: Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry
Word Count: 1, 773
Rating: M, for some swearing and sexual themes
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee and/or its characters, but boy do I ever wish I did. I don't own Stars' song either. This is fiction and written purely for entertainment purposes.
Summary: "She'd dated Finn Hudson for 2 years and she knew when he was sad, when he was being honest and when he was being a lying s-- -- - -----. This time was the latter. But this time, she didn't care."
A/N: So this is a Future-Fic, probably is a little OOC. It is a one-shot. Comments are lovely, constructive criticism is appreciated. Sorry if it's a little depressing but I'm a little depressed about the lack of new Glee episodes to keep me happy.
The song is "Your Ex-Lover is Dead" by Stars. If you haven't heard it by now, you should listen to it.
Enjoy!
God that was strange to see you again,
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said 'Yes, I think we've met before'
In that instant it started to pour.
New York City was normally so exciting for her. The lights, the smattering of people still milling about at this late hour, the soft sprinkling of rain falling upon her as she walked through the streets trying to make her way back to her apartment. But tonight, the soft winds she usually enjoyed were harsh and stung her to the core. Her frequent slight chill was replaced with a shrill shiver and layer of goosebumps across her skin. The normally appreciated raindrops made her quicken her walk's pace. And today being the four year anniversary of the end of her relationship with Finn Hudson was crushing her heart and bringing stinging tears to her eyes.
Four years. Ridiculous and she knew it. Why should she still care after all this time? Why? Because she loved him. She did then, she does now, and she figures that she always will. Rachel was normally strong about it. She'd seen other guys, had other relationships, almost got engaged once, but somehow it always came down to Finn Hudson. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself that she loved the other guys she was with, she knew it wasn't true.
She rounded the corner towards her apartment and slammed right into something, knocking herself to the wet ground below. With a sigh, she tried to help herself up.
"Son of a..."
"RACHEL!?" a high-pitched voice questioned.
Rachel stopping mid-sentence looked up at the couple in front of her. "Mandy?" she squinted towards the girl standing before her.
"Hun, I'm so sorry, we were just walking and really didn't see you...are you okay?" she asked, reaching down to lift Rachel to her feet.
"Yeah, yeah," she started as she smoothed her now rumpled jacket, "I'm..." It was then that she looked up at the boy standing next to Mandy. "...Finn."
"You mean fine?" Mandy asked.
"No. Finn!?" Rachel reached up to brush the sweater's hood off of the boy's head.
"Rachel..." the boy muttered, looking directly at her.
It was definitely Finn.
After all this time, he was standing right in front of her. After four years, she just happened to see him again after she bumped into him on a street corner in New York City at 2am, and fell on her ass in front of the Starbucks building. C'est la vie.
"You guys know each other?" Mandy asked Finn surprised.
"Yeah...high school. We...uhm..."
"We were..."
"Oh, I get it," Mandy nodded. "Well, this is odd isn't it. But Finn, I guess we better be on our way. I'll see you around Rachel. Say hi to your dads for me."
Rachel nodded a sad nod as she walked past them towards the stairs of her building.
"Rachel..." Finn called out. She turned back around. "It was nice seeing you again..."
Rachel nodded again before turning back towards the apartment's front door and taking out her key as she got pelted with rain from the sky.
It's nothing but time and a face that you lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
A knock came at Rachel's door at about a quarter to four. She was still awake. Still crying over seeing him and her heart re-breaking. She stumbled barefoot to the apartment door while wrapping a blanket around herself. She rose up to her tip-toes and squinted through the peep hole. She recognized that grey hoodie. She touched it less than two hours ago. She didn't want to, but she wiped her eyes and opened the door, letting him inside without a word.
Leaving the door open, she walked back towards her room and resumed her earlier position on the bed. Finn closed the door behind himself, popped off his shoes and followed suit. She'd looked so sad earlier and if possible, she looked worse off now.
"I...got your address from Mandy. Sorry that it's so late, but I just wanted to see you," he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed, a few feet away from her. When she neglected to say anything, he moved a little closer. "I'm sorry," he stated, mouth turning to a frown. "And I know you probably don't want to hear it, and you're probably just pissed that I'm here, but I am sorry, and if I could made things better I would." He sighed and waited for a response.
She didn't give one. She wasn't going to give one. She really didn't have anything to say. She couldn't think of what might be okay to say at this point in time. Her sad eyes looked up towards him, catching his. Holding his stare, she realized that he wasn't sad at all. She'd dated Finn Hudson for 2 years and she knew when he was sad, when he was being honest and when he was being a lying son of a bitch. This time was the latter. But this time, she didn't care.
This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
Tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
Now you're outside me
You see all the beauty
Repent all your sin
When it started, neither of them could recall, but somehow he landed on top of her - lips on her neck, Finn's hand up her shirt, and Rachel wasn't stopping any of it.
"Rachel, fuck...I..." she placed her hand against his mouth and shook her head.
"Don't talk to me," she forced out, her eyes squeezed shut.
This shouldn't be happening. She knew it and that's all that she kept repeating in her head. If they didn't talk, it seemed less like it was actually happening. Nobody could say something they couldn't take back and they could just have sex and it would all be done and through with. Rachel would get over him and he would leave and they would never see, hear or think of each other again. Just a one-time thing for that quick fix.
He nodded an okay towards her No-Talking rule and ground himself against her. His hands reached for the bottom of her tank top and slid it up off her head before reaching to remove his own. His hands grasped at her breasts, smoothing over their curves and slighting pinching at the nipples. Rachel's back arched and a small moan escaped her lips. Finn smiled and reached down to her lips, placing a soft kiss there.
"No," she demanded. "We're going to have sex, and then you're going to leave. That is it, and don't try to make this more than it is."
He nodded again and took off the rest of their clothes. If she wanted sex, then that's what she was going to get.
Live through this and you won't look back...
Live through this and you won't look back...
The first time it happened, it was just sex. He got up and dressed himself and left without even saying goodbye. And she didn't mind. They both got what they needed and they could move one now. They got the final "goodbye" that they didn't have the chance to in high school.
The second time happened so fast that neither knew that it was happening and then it was over.
The third time, he said goodbye.
The tenth time, he didn't say goodbye, because he never left her apartment.
Live though this and you won't look back.
Rachel knew she was falling again. And it was bad. There was a reason it ended in high school. How could she again fall for the boy who crushed her heart when he ran off with that girl? He neglected to tell her a thing about his secret relationship and then he chose that girl over her. How was she supposed to recover from that when he never even told her face-to-face why he was leaving? How was she supposed to get over him and move on with her life? She couldn't. Not when she still loved him and he kept coming to her bed every night.
When he showed up at her apartment, a quarter to nine, she told herself tonight was it. It was the last time she could let this happen. She let him in and he dove at her, his lips on hers. They had given up the 'no-kissing rule' around the third time. His kisses kept her falling down the endless pit of despair she found herself whenever he left. She felt ashamed and dirty and angry at herself for letting it all happen, but here they were on the floor, never making it to the bed, half-naked and completely willing to let this go far.
"Rachel, gah, I love you," Finn muttered into her neck.
She shook her head. She didn't believe it and she wouldn't let herself. But she did let him take off the rest of her clothes and push himself inside of her. She thrust her hips back at him, begging him to touch her like he knew she needed to be touched and he did, every time.
She came, clenching around him, bringing him to his climax as well, before collapsing on top of her small body beneath him. She relished in the crushing feeling before telling him, "Finn, we can't do this anymore."
He nodded into her neck, and with a great sigh, "Whatever you say, Rachel."
- - - - -
The next night when walking back to her apartment, she rounded the corner and just avoided crashing into someone.
"Rachel?"
"Finn...we have to stop running into each other at this corner..." she let herself smile a little.
"Yeah, well, it probably won't be happening again. Uh, Mandy and I...we're moving to Chicago tomorrow morning..."
Rachel felt her heart crack and fall into her stomach. "Oh yeah? That's...good for you guys."
Finn nodded. "Yeah, I guess it is."
"Well, goodbye, Finn," she nearly whispered, tears beginning to form in her eyes once again as she turned to walk away.
"Rachel," he called out. She turned back and rose her eyes to his. "It really was great to see you again..."
She nodded, just as the sky grumbled and rain started to pour down on the couple.
There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave.
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save.
A/N: Comments are <3. Please leave some.