Fic: First Instinct (2 of ?)
Chapter 2
When Kurt woke up, it was brighter in the cage and there was a man curled around him instead of a wolf. The man had tanned olive skin, a handsome, youthful-looking face, and short, dark brown hair. He was also naked and very muscular, which really didn't surprise Kurt, assuming that this was the werewolf from the night before.
Needing answers, Kurt poked the man in the shoulder, saying, "Hey! Wake up!"
"Hmm?" he asked, blinking his eyes open and seeing Kurt. His eyes - the same green ones as the wolf, Puck - widened a little and he sat up, backing away a little and rubbing his face with one hand. "Look, man," Puck said, his voice rough with sleep, "I'm so sorry. I swear, it was the only way and I hate killing people, so I really didn't want to kill you."
"You didn’t did you?" Kurt asked softly, watching as Puck shook his head, very reminiscent of the same gesture he’d used the night before.
“I’m sorry I touched you, …" Puck left his mouth open and thought for a moment before admitting, “I don’t even know your name. God, I feel like the world’s biggest prick.”
“It’s Kurt,” he replied bitterly, looking up to see Puck almost crying. “What are you…? You think you’re the victim here, too?”
"Yeah. Yeah, I am,” Puck insisted. “That bastard hunter, Lodes, caught me when I was a pup. Trained my instincts, like with torture and stuff. When I'm the wolf?" Puck sighed heavily, looking up at Kurt like he was begging for understanding. "When I'm the wolf and he whistles, I can't help it. I go nuts. It reminds me of all that pain and hunger and being afraid of him torturing me again and I just go red and lash out. I hate it."
Kurt didn't want to, but he understood. He understood that this Puck wasn't as much of a monster as Lodes had made him into. Thinking about what he'd said, Kurt asked Puck, "So, you were always a werewolf?"
Puck nodded, "Yeah. Born this way, just like my whole family. I was out hunting in the woods, first time by myself, when I got caught in Lodes' net. He thought I was a real wolf and wanted to tame me, as a pet, until he realized that when morning came, I turned back into a fourteen-year-old kid. Now he's using me to breed more werewolves, wolves that will love him like a father. It's so, so wrong."
"God," Kurt whispered, "that's awful. Here I thought I had it rough, being gay in this small town. It was getting better, slowly, but then-” Kurt laughed ruefully. “Then that Lodes guy kidnapped me. I'm going to die, aren't I?"
"I don't know," Puck replied softly, scratching one of his arms. "I don't know what happens after they leave. Two months ago, Lodes brought me another werewolf, a girl. Quinn. I didn't know her before. He made me mount her every night for the five nights the moon makes us change. He says she's pregnant, but I just don't know. She could be dead. He shot the first female he brought me because she kept fighting me off. I mean, I didn't want to do it, so I didn't try to dominate her, and he killed her to prove that he could."
"He stole your life and maybe your children," Kurt sighed, moving closer and putting his hand over one of Puck's. "I don't know how you've survived this long!"
"First instinct," Puck replied, giving Kurt a sad smile, "stay alive."
"Yeah," he agreed, shivering again.
"You're cold," Puck stated, opening up his arm in invitation. Kurt hesitated. "I won't bite, I promise. I'm used to being naked at this temperature and you're not. You could get really sick. That happened to one of my mates last year. She was human - Lodes wanted to see if a human mother would have werewolf pups, even though I told him it didn't work that way - and she wasted away because she couldn't stand me touching her."
Kurt shook his head and said, "I almost feel the same way," before letting Puck draw him into an embrace. It was much warmer.
Curious after a few minutes of sitting silent, Kurt asked, "How many mates have you had?"
Puck sighed and said, "Three human women, four human men, and six female werewolves. Too many. I was sort of mated before I got taken, but we were too young to call it permanent, even though we both wanted it to be."
"She was a wolf?" Kurt asked and Puck chuckled against his shoulder.
"Yeah. He was."
"He?" Kurt asked, remembering what Lodes had said about Puck being queer. "I see. I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was seventeen. What was yours named?"
"Blaine," Puck replied, rubbing his face on Kurt's shoulder just a little bit, like he needed to cuddle. "I have no idea where he is or if he's even still alive. Maybe he mated with someone else when I didn't come back. It has been, like six years."
"Is that..." Kurt tried to ask, his heart hurting at Puck's sad tone. "Is it uncommon where you come from? Being gay?"
"Yeah," Puck nodded. "But it's not unheard of. Usually the alphas don't give a crap because they get more females to mate with that way, and we're still around to protect the pack from outsiders."
"What about lesbians?" Kurt asked out of curiosity, smiling a little when Puck laughed.
"Those bitches are mean, dude. Most alphas don’t even try throwing them out of the pack. When I was ten, my cousin Santana beat the crap out of our alpha when he tried to drive her out. He was in a coma, for like two days. Everyone respects her badassness now." Kurt felt Puck smile against his shoulder and wondered what it would be like, being ripped away from a close family like that and spending six years living like this.
Kurt sighed and Puck followed suit, silence falling over them. Eventually, Kurt said, "I'm getting hungry. Is Lodes planning on starving me?"
"There's some food," Puck replied, leaving Kurt cold as he stood up and walked to one side of the cage. In the morning light, Kurt could see that there was some sort of camp toilet in one corner and a hose hanging up above like a shower. The floor was wooden over the concrete of the warehouse and covered in a hard, dark-colored rug. And over by Puck, there was a shelf with boxes and cans at arms' length away. It looked like Puck had to reach pretty far to get anything, and Kurt figured having to struggle to get the food was one of Lodes' methods of control.
Puck came back with a box of cereal and a couple of vacuum-packed boxes of milk. “Sorry, no bowls,” he shrugged, handing over one of the milk boxes and opening the box of cereal. “No utensils, either, like I could use a spoon to escape.” Puck snorted in semi-amused disgust.
“Have you tried?” Kurt asked, sticking the straw into his box of milk and taking a small sip, to test his stomach. “Like, really tried to get out?”
Puck gave Kurt a look like, “What, do you think I’m an idiot?” and said, “Of course I’ve tried. I try all the time. The problem is as soon as he fucking whistles, I’m either half out of my mind with rage or half out of my mind with fear, depending on the cue. It doesn’t help either that he really likes to shoot me when I try to get past him.”
“Like, with bullets?” Kurt asked, accepting the box of cereal, which wasn’t his favorite, but it would do. “Silver bullets?”
“Regular bullets,” Puck insisted. “That silver bullet crap is just a myth. Regular bullets hurt, man. Sure, as long as he doesn’t hit my head or my spine, I heal or whatever, but it takes fucking forever.”
Kurt sighed and said, “Before this, my biggest worry was whether or not I could be seen dancing with my boyfriend in public without getting the crap beaten out of me. It doesn’t seem like such a big deal anymore.”
“You have a boyfriend?” Puck asked, like it was a legitimate concern when they were both locked here in Lodes’ cage.
“Don’t get any ideas,” Kurt sneered softly, “but no. We broke up two weeks ago. I was going out last night to try to meet someone new when Lodes grabbed me.”
“I’m sorry,” Puck said softly, his eyes down on the floor. “He thinks if he gets me guys, I’ll be more willing to do the girls when he brings them to me, so he doesn’t have to hurt them. It’s not like I have a fucking choice either way.” Then Puck looked up at Kurt and smirked, “Though I do appreciate this view better.”
Kurt sort of froze up and curled in on himself before saying, “You don’t get to flirt with me. I know you didn’t want to do … that, but it doesn’t change the fact that you did.”
“Shit,” Puck breathed, his face falling. “Dude, I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I mean … everyone’s different, you know? And you were doing good, letting me keep you warm. I didn’t mean to scare you by being my stupid self. Forgive me?”
Kurt looked up and the face pouting at him now was pathetically cute and so removed from what had happened the night before, except for those eyes. Kurt shivered and admitted, “For the flirting, I forgive you. For everything else…?”
“Yeah, I get it,” Puck nodded, watching as Kurt pushed the cereal and milk away, no longer hungry. “Thanks.”
Kurt shrugged. What else could he do?
**88**
After turning his back and giving Kurt some privacy to use the disgusting facilities and clean up a little with the cold water from the hose, Puck sat down next to Kurt to warm him up again, saying softly, “I know you don’t want to hear this, but it’s going to happen again tonight.”
Kurt nodded. He’d had a feeling when he’d woken up alive that things weren’t over. Knowing didn’t help the tears from falling onto his arms crossed over his knees. “Can’t you ...?” Kurt asked. “Can’t you, like fake it or something? Can’t we fake it?”
Puck sighed. “We could try,” he admitted. “I just don’t like the idea of getting caught. You’re not important to him like the female wolves. He won’t hesitate to make me kill you. He gets off on it almost as much as he does watching me fuck.”
Kurt blanched in horror, picturing Lodes jacking off over a mess of blood and guts. “Oh my god…”
“I know,” Puck muttered. “I mean, I’ve known some wolves that get off on killing, but we don’t kill people. I mean, sometimes it happens, but that’s almost always self-defense on the wolf’s part. I certainly don’t. Killing is for food and fucking is … well, it used to be for fun. In here it’s all twisted around.”
“How many…?” Kurt asked. “How many of them has he made you kill?”
Puck looked up at the tarp-covered ceiling of the cage and muttered, “Four. I’ve killed four people in my entire life, and he made me do it every single time. I…” Puck gagged a little and pushed his food away, too.
“You okay?” Kurt asked, watching Puck breathe slowly through his nose, like he was trying not to puke.
Puck nodded, his eyes shut as he calmed down. “It’s just remembering the taste. The wolf knows it’s not right, it’s not meat, but there’s just so much hunger for a fresh kill. I could still taste it when I woke up in the morning.”
Kurt started crying again as he watched the pain on Puck’s face and he couldn’t help but say, “I think I just became a vegetarian.”
Puck snorted through his nose and nodded. “I wish I had that option. Lodes brings me barely enough raw meat as it is. I should be twice as strong as I am now.”
Kurt wondered if Lodes did that on purpose, to keep Puck from escaping.
**88**
As the day drew onward, Kurt found his mind swimming with questions. Before being raped by one, he hadn’t known werewolves even existed. It felt like, if he learned enough, maybe it would help him be less terrified of the setting sun. “So you can change anytime after dark?”
“Yeah,” Puck replied. “It’s just those five days around the full moon that I have to change.”
“What does it feel like?”
Puck closed his eyes like he was trying to figure out how to capture it in words. “It feels like falling. Like falling into another skin and going home and being set free.”
Kurt nodded and asked, “If you bite me, do I become a werewolf?”
Puck actually laughed at that one, a small chuckle-snort that Kurt couldn’t help but smile at. “No, dude. I don’t know how humans think of these things! We’re a totally different species made to like, blend in with humans, but we were never human.”
“Does a wolf ever fall in love with a human? Since you’re all mixed in with us?” Kurt asked, blushing when Puck smiled at him and raised an eyebrow.
“Sure,” he admitted. “Sure they do. We try not to because it means leaving the protection of the pack, maybe getting scooped by another pack, maybe accidentally violating territory laws and stuff like that. Plus mating season is really difficult without a pack. Those two weeks of the year it does get hard not to fuck anything that moves when you’re the wolf. It helps, having a mate or at least a friend, so you can get through it together without accidentally ripping some poor human to shreds.”
Eyes wide, Kurt squeaked, “How far away is mating season?”
“Don’t worry,” Puck assured him. “It was two months ago when Lodes bred me with Quinn. That’s the second one I’ve gotten pregnant, according to him. I have no idea if or how many pups Rachel had. All the other females either got killed or didn’t take. Sometimes they don’t, especially if they’re young and get the shot not long before he catches them and mating season starts.”
“Contraceptives?” Kurt asked. “How modern of you.”
“Teenage mothers don’t blend in very well,” Puck pointed out. “Wouldn’t be good advertisement to the good religious humans that we start mating around thirteen.”
“That’s so young,” Kurt shook his head. “I barely knew how my dick worked when I was thirteen, much less what my romantic crushes on certain celebrities meant.”
“Blaine and I were just buddies until we were thirteen and mating season came around. It was as much a surprise to us when we started fucking as it was to everyone else,” Puck sighed, his eyes focused somewhere far past the tarp covering their cage. “Just sort of grew romantic feelings from there. My ma said they were there before, we just didn’t know it until the hormones made us act on it.”
Kurt snorted a little, saying, “I kinda wish that had happened in my school. It would have made it much easier to find the closet cases. And get laid.”
Puck laughed again, hugging Kurt’s shoulders. After a moment, he cursed, “Damn, I want to get you out of here. I don’t want to hurt you, dude. I really, really don’t.”
“Then we have to think of an escape plan. Does he ever open the door?” Kurt asked, leaning into Puck before he realized what he was doing. Then, he decided, screw it, he was cold and Puck was trying to help him. It wasn’t his fault he had to force himself on Kurt. Snuggling in deeper, Kurt looked up for Puck’s answer.
“Only to bring my mates in and out,” Puck sighed. “He passes everything else through the bars.”
Kurt nodded. “What if I played sick? Like, I really needed a doctor?”
Shaking his head, Puck explained, “Lodes’d shoot you in the head and bury you under the cement floor. He’s got that section over there,” Puck pointed past the tarp in a certain direction, “uncovered right now. He’ll probably fill it over sometime soon and start another.”
“Was he lying when he said I might make it home alive?”
“I don't know.” Puck winced. “I don't think he'll let you live.”
Terrified and bewildered, Kurt asked, “How has no one noticed what he’s been doing? Shouldn’t they notice all these people going missing?”
Puck shrugged in response and said, “Maybe I should be the one to fake sick. He still needs me. Catching a mature male werewolf is really difficult.”
“He’ll just be able to whistle and make you stop acting, right?” Kurt asked. “That won’t work either.”
“No, it won’t.”
Fresh out of ideas, Kurt leaned his head on Puck’s shoulder and tried not to think about how close it was getting to dark.
Chapter 3