paradigm shift

[gladdecease]

So, rather than being sensible like everybody else who saw 5.14 and thought "omg I have to fix it!", I saw 5.14 and thought "you know, this could be worse."

This is not a "My Bloody Valentine" fix-it fic. If there was such a thing as a "make it worse" fic, this might be it. Or it might not. I think you can decide.

Comments

[tahirire]

I don't think it makes it worse.

Actually, I thought just them doing it again (as much as I HATE IT, OMG HAAAAAATE IT *sobs in a corner*) Makes it better. Because this time it's a mutual decision, and it gives Cas a chance to atone for last time, and Dean a chance to be there like he couldn't be before, and there is no sting of betrayal to go along with it on either side.

I agree that Sam would be a little quicker to forgive Cas, based on the fact that if anyone knows what being manipulated feels like, it's Sam, and that Dean would flip his shit.

I was livid at Cas right around the Jesse episode when he pretty much blamed Sam for everything, conveniently leaving out that it was HIS FAULT, but I've forgiven him now and I'd hate to see his only support get stripped away for past errors.

Uh - that was wordy. Sorry. :) Anyway, I like it. And I don't think it makes it worse. :)

[gladdecease]

Oh, don't apologize - I like wordy. :)

While I was really sad&uncomfortable with Sam back in the panic room, I agree that it is better - Sam is obviously in a better place now, if nothing else. But I had thought Castiel might be more obviously not at ease, being back in this situation. When he wasn't, my muse decided Castiel needed to admit what he'd done.

There were a couple different ways this fic could have gone. It started out ended with Castiel running off before they could talk at all, obviously a more ambiguous ending. Another one was Dean finding out as well, but his reaction (which I thought would be as you've described) would have absolutely crushed Cas, and I couldn't do that. In the end I caved and made it a little bit less angsty, but left the pre-fic question as it was.

Thanks for commenting! I wasn't sure how this would go over, and your response was very reassuring.

[tahirire]

Yeah, I agree Cas would be pretty crushed. I've explored the thought that he may, at some point, feel the need to apologize to Sam, but that he'd be terrified to admit what he did to Dean.

Which in my meta brain is cool, b/c he has been working hard to cement his friendship with Sam, leading me to believe he feels guilty and that is Sam's main problem, guilt - while he'd be afraid to tell Dean and that is Dean's main problem, fear.

It's quite possible that I think about these things WAY too much. :)

In mine, (Because the only way to move through trauma is to talk about it, right? RIGHT?) I drew a little on the fact that Cas seemed to honestly want to help at the end of the episode, and re-wrote how I think they got there to include him a little bit more, since it is in Sam's pov.

It's also quite possible that I tend to overshare. :)

[gladdecease]

I continue to not mind the sharing!

Castiel and Sam's friendship is less... I think "intense" might be the word I'm looking for? It's developed slowly, and fairly organically, after the "Dean wants his brother and his friend to get along now" tension lessened. And it's an interesting build up of a relationship.

In contrast, Castiel and Dean have this huge, ridiculous thing that I can't even begin to pinpoint, which makes Castiel freak out whenever Dean even remotely suggests the idea of being done with him. The difference in this case is that I can't see anything Castiel could whip out to change Dean's mind; after sharing super-secret archangel lore, and full on rebelling, there's only so much more an angel can do.

I like your meta brain's metay thoughts, though I can't connect Dean and fear as easily as I can Sam and guilt. Maybe I just have a blind spot when it comes to Dean? I'd like to hear more about that, if you don't mind.

I have read yours, and I am so jealous of your mad prose skills, it is gorgeous. You really get

[sarcasticval]

Oh, Castiel. My heart breaks for you. (In the best possible way.)

[gladdecease]

Oh Castiel, indeed. There's just never a good time to bring up old mistakes.

Thanks!

[borgmama1of5]

Cas letting Sam out the first time still rankles. And like all the secrets from that year, it needs to come out and be dealt with.

[gladdecease]

I'm glad you think so - that's the reason why I wanted to write this fic. It's something I've been waiting to see addressed in canon, and gotten too impatient to keep waiting for.

Thanks for commenting!

[lynzibell]

O sad! And awesome at the same time. I think they both needed that.
Thanks for sharing!

[gladdecease]

They really did, didn't they? Thanks for commenting!

[contrary_lady]

Well done! I'm waiting for the show to address the fact that it was Castiel who let Sam out of the panic room last season.

[gladdecease]

Thank you! Maybe we'll get something along this line sometime this season. Well, we can only hope.