Ooooo! I really liked this!! Loved Jayne's observations about the Core vs the Rim. I thought Jayne's perception of Simon was great. Very in character, I felt - especially the way that Jayne's perceptions changed so much without him ever loosing his essential 'Jayne-ness'. (LOL! Does that make any sense?) The sex scene was - Guh! - well, let me just say I had to un-puddle myself from the floor under my desk in order to write this FB! *Grin* Great stuff. If I may be so bold I'd like to hope that, although this may be your first (?) Jayne/Simon, I certainly hope it is not your last.
Mini-crit: Jayne could've sword he was dong what he did to Kaylee Should that read: ...Jayne could've sword he was doing what he did to Kaylee...?
Anyway, other than that, this fic has stuck in my head for hours, the idea of Jayne wanting to muss up Simon, and peel him out of his fancy clothes... it's just... guh, insanely hot!!
And I cannot describe how brilliant I think the sex scene was, I think it was so THEM and didn't make me cringe at all, which most sex scenes between these two do. The dialogue, and Jayne's attitude towards it was spot on, IMO.
this was wonderful! i absolutely loved it, and i would love to see you develop this more. this fic would be a wonderful starting point if you so chose.
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The sex scene was - Guh! - well, let me just say I had to un-puddle myself from the floor under my desk in order to write this FB! *Grin*
Great stuff. If I may be so bold I'd like to hope that, although this may be your first (?) Jayne/Simon, I certainly hope it is not your last.
Reply
Mini-crit: Jayne could've sword he was dong what he did to Kaylee
Should that read: ...Jayne could've sword he was doing what he did to Kaylee...?
Anyway, other than that, this fic has stuck in my head for hours, the idea of Jayne wanting to muss up Simon, and peel him out of his fancy clothes... it's just... guh, insanely hot!!
And I cannot describe how brilliant I think the sex scene was, I think it was so THEM and didn't make me cringe at all, which most sex scenes between these two do. The dialogue, and Jayne's attitude towards it was spot on, IMO.
♥ I hope to see more!
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anyways, great job, it way very hot! :]
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