SGA 4.09 Miller's Crossing (running commentary)
Okay, look let me just say first: You are not dreaming. This was an actual episode of SGA. The events of this show are canon. Try to contain your swoon.
And, this episode was written by Martin Gero, which always promises to be a giant, squishy, fangirly festival. Also, Rodney calls Sheppard "John" again, and this time, it's not a throwaway. Needless to say, it's my new favorite episode.
Before we start, props to whoever does Hewlett's hair this season. It rocked, all the way through. Yum. Also? Kate Hewlett is awesome. They should give her a more frequently recurring role. And. Um. I may have to officially stop bagging on The Flan's acting.
~ Zelenka: I am losing THE WILL TO LIVE. Just e-mail her already!
And all the scientists go still, waiting for the explosion.
~ Hee, and then the way they all follow suit, pack up their laptops and flee, looking over their shoulders.
~ Hey, is this a new Caleb? I think it's a different guy.
~ Oy. Shouldn't Madison be smart enough to know you can't make a giant cookie? Or am I imposing fanon on her?
~ Oh no! Jeannie!
~ Hello, Snap-front hoodie!
~ And hello Agent Barrett. Hadn't thought to see you again. And I wonder what Rodney's got in that backpack.
~ John, now is not the time to make Canada jokes.
Barrett: …we will be out in the open, so perhaps a change of clothes first?
Ronon: *looks at himself* Why?
~ They get out of the car at Jeannie's and Ronon complains about his clothes.
Ronon: I look dumb.
Fangirls: YOU HAVE NEVER LOOKED HOTTER IN YOUR LIFE.
~ God, Ronon looks so fucking hot I didn't even notice Shep at first. But hello, suit. HELLO OPEN COLLAR. And apparently the NID recognized the inherent hotness of the snap-front because they didn't make Rodney change clothes. I'm not positive I'm on board with the pants, though. Why can't we see him in jeans? *alkdsjklsdflkj* I think I just broke something thinking about The Hew's ass in jeans.
~ Hmm. Who is the random soulless bystander making phone calls on the sidewalk across the street?
~ Aw, look how wrecked poor Caleb is.
~ OMG RODNEY CAN'T POSSIBLY GET ANY CUTER.
Caleb: *to Madison* Hey, look, it's your Uncle Mer.
Rodney: Hey, lady.
~ Oh, Caleb! This whole conversation made me sniffly.
Rodney: Caleb. We're gonna find her.
Caleb: …Just…bring her back. Bring her home.
Rodney: I will.
~ Oh, Jeannie in her jammies! OMG, how much would it SUCK to get kidnapped in your pajamas? I WOULD NOT LET THEM TAKE ME WITHOUT A BRA. (Have I mentioned lately that I am now a 34 H? H, people. The girls don't leave the bedroom unfettered.)
~ I love the McKay look Jeannie gives Wallace when he apologizes for kidnapping her.
~ John and Ronon are just…sitting in the motel. John may be having a snack. Ronon has unfortunately lost his suit jacket.
~ Hee. Sometimes even Rodney underestimates how smart he is sometimes.
~ John suggests they all go together but Rodney says they're almost there and just gives him the address. Um, Rodney…shouldn't you wait for John? Um, Agent Barrett, shouldn't you be a little more in charge of this situation?
~ Agent Barrett also thinks they should wait for John but Rodney sort of blows that off in preparation for kicking the unlocked door in. Oh, Rodney. You are such a dork. Hee.
~ Why is Rodney leading the way into the mysterious building? And since he's ignoring all his offworld experience, why isn't Barrett closer on his six? Oh.
~ Eee, I love how Ronon's getting out of the car before John has stopped driving.
~ Oh, John. The look on his face when Barrett says Rodney's also been taken. Poor woobie.
~ Hey, they gave Jeannie some clothes. That is a really cute pink sweater. Kate should always wear pink.
~ Aaaand the happy reunion lasts for 14 seconds. No, seriously. I counted.
~ Hmm, they've been put on a plane. So they're not in Vancouver anymore.
~ Blah blah blah, Wallace knows everything. He wants Rodney and Jeannie to cure cancer. Oh, is that all?
~ Stupid, stupid, stupid. Never inject the nanites before they're ready.
Rodney: Ironed out?! It's not that easy!
Wallace: I know that! ...Now.
~ Back at the SGC, Ronon and John and Barrett are discussing the situation. John is hotly biting his lip in dismay. Ronon has found his jacket again.
~ Jeannie and Rodney, in the lab. They're supposed to be working on fixing Wallace's daughter.
Jeannie: Are you even listening to me?
Rodney: Eh, you lost me at nanites.
~ Hee! And then they get lost trying to find their way out.
Rodney: That mall was huge!
Jeannie: There are maps every 7 metres!
~ Okay, so the running away plan didn't work so well.
~ Um, maybe you shouldn't tell the desperate bad guy you don't have enough incentive to do what he wants? Because what if he decides to GIVE you some incent-oh, see? *headdesk*
~ Meep. That little "Mer…" Jeannie cries when Wallace is about to inject her.
~ Also, Wallace, you utter, utter bastard. I hope Sheppard kills you.
~ So now they have to free the nanites and allow them to replicate? I'm…not sure how that's going to help, besides turning Jeannie and Wallace's kid into Replicators themselves. But then, I only have one PhD. Just kidding. Two, actually.
~ Back at the SGC, Ronon (who has lost his jacket again), John and Barrett are going through a bunch of papers. This is not the plan of action Ronon would like to be following.
~ Blah blah blah paper trail, Ronon wants some food.
John: …well, in case you forgot, McKay and his sister are still missing.
Ronon: What, you want my help dissecting corporate structures?
John: *looks shifty*
Ronon: When you find someone to point a gun at…let me know.
And that is Ronon Dex in a nutshell. And a hotass white linen shirt.
~ Okay, and now this whole conversation with Jeannie and Rodney about Rodney and Katie Brown? BWAHAHAHAHA!
Jeannie: …because physically, you're - well, how do I put this? You're no John Sheppard.
Bwee. Oh, Jeannie…if only you knew the real reason.
~ But seriously, this conversation implies that Rodney has thought about marrying Katie and has decided not to. He specifically states that it's not because he thinks he's going to find someone better. So, what is it? Us slashers will all say it's because he's already found someone better. But I really do wonder what the writers are intending with the Rodney/Katie relationship.
~ Oh lookee, Wallace Junior is all better. The Fabulous McKays have cured cancer. Whee!
~ Poor Ronon, having lunch with Walter. Hee. Ronon's got no clue what he's talking about.
Walter: Blah blah blah BINGO!
Ronon's brain: Please kill me now.
Sheppard: *bursts into the mess*
Ronon: *leaps from his chair* Tell me you have something.
Sheppard: Devlin Medical Technologies.
Ronon: That means…
Sheppard: You got somebody to point your gun at.
Ronon: Sweet.
~ And then John steals a french fry off Walter's plate and I'm sorry, but no straight man would ever do that.
~ Wallace is pouring champagne but the McKays kind of want to know what's going to happen to them. Wallace is all happy and ready to set them free before he goes to prison. Things are looking good until there's a problem with Wallace Jr. Seems she's dead of heart stoppage.
~ Jeannie's begging Wallace to let them go so she can get fixed and it looks like he's not going to let them. Just then, Wallace Jr. wakes back up! Dun dun dun. Only she's got that dead look in her eyes and hasn't said anything yet. Dude, I'm telling you…she's a Replicator now. This does not bode well for the rest of the season.
~ Hm, okay, the nanites shut Jr. down to fix her heart and now she's a vegetable. Which means that the nanites will want to shut Jeannie down to fix her epilepsy (?!).
Jeannie: I don't wanna be shut down for repairs.
~ And then John and Ronon (back in their usual gear, more's the pity) and some marines come busting into the lab. Yay!
Rodney: OkayWeneedtogetJeannietotheSGCimmediatelyIstheDaedalusstillinorbit?
John: You're welcome. It was a daring rescue.
~ John radios the Daedalus to beam them up. I think this may be the first time we've heard John self-refer as "Shep." Actually, I don't think anybody's actually ever called him "Shep."
~ Hee. Back at the SGC.
Rodney: *completely ordinarily* Okay, I've put Jeannie in a medically-induced coma and I've broken her legs.
Ronon: *implied eyebrow of doom*…you what?
Rodney: blah blah blah sciencecakes.
John: …you…broke her legs. …couldn't you just give her a disease or something?
~ Okay, but wait. I totally understand the reasoning behind breaking her legs. It makes perfect sense. But how did Rodney do it? Seriously? How do you break someone's leg in a hopefully non-violent, non-traumatic way? Also, never tell Jeannie or you'll end up buying her a lot more than a Prius.
~ Rodney needs help and now he and John are standing in front of the active gate. What, are they calling Sam? OH NO. *facepalm* They're not calling Sam, are they? It's gonna be Stanley the Wraith. THIS IS NOT GOOD. (FYI, Mallozzi calls him "Todd" in his blog, but I named him Stanley in my Common Ground commentary and I'm sticking with that.)
~ Okay, yep, here's Stanley, all strapped in to his restraints. You know, it occurs to me that while this restraint is helpful, when it's time to work, wouldn't it be even better to put sort of a chastity belt thingy over his feeding hand? Like what gymnasts wear when they do the uneven bars. I mean, they could still shoot him if he makes a move.
~ And now Rodney runs into the incentive problem. He makes me want to cry again with how much he loves Jeannie. I like how hard he tried to explain.
~ Also, Stanley the Wraith is funny. First the joke about the handshake and now this.
Rodney: You could help us. You could save her.
Stanley: *yawns dramatically*
~ Ah, good thinking, McKay. Appeal to his sense of revenge.
~ Montage. Working, dying.
~ They're nearly done. Stanley isn't feeling so well. Maybe they need to feed him?
~ Rodney's telling John that they have to feed Stanley for him to be able to finish and save Jeannie…OH CRAP. Rodney's about to volunteer.
~ I, I, I…I don't even know what to say about this conversation. The LOOK ON JOHN'S FACE! Eee. Oh, John. Oh, Rodney. Absolute perfection.
~ Rodney explains that Jr. died a half hour ago. And then…there are no words. I actually clutched my heart at this:
Rodney: I can't lose my sister, John.
~ Oh, good christ, I'm actually crying now. Seriously, actual tears. This conversation needs to be preserved in all its McSheppy glory. I need this whole thing cut into a clip so I can watch it over and over. Here's the best part:
Rodney: I can't lose my sister, John. …How am I gonna explain that to her husband? To her, to her kid?
John: That Wraith'll kill you.
Rodney: It's my choice to make.
John: No. It's not. You're an invaluable member of my team and you report directly to me.
Rodney: Really. You wanna talk about chain of command right now?
John: You are NOT doing this.
Rodney: She's here because of me! …I can't fix the problem but I can help the guy who can. Look, this was not an easy decision to make!
John: …I can't.
Rodney: Please.
John: …I'm sorry.
And just the looks on their faces this whole time. Their voices. I mean, Hew is always spot on with these emotional scenes, but God, The Flan has never been so expressive. They're both killing me. When John says he's sorry, just…guh. And he didn't say "you can't," he said "I can't." (and OMG with the face on that one, too.) YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, DON'T YOU?
~ John's sitting across a table from Wallace. OMG, John's not going to kill him, he's going to do one better: Feed him to the Wraith. Oh John, you are your own brand of sneaky bastard and I love you for it. I love you for being willing to go there to keep Rodney from sacrificing himself.
~ Heh. A "specialist" from Pegasus.
~ Also, again with the face in this scene. Man, The Flan brought his A game.
~ Why is Rodney trying to get into his own lab using Dr. Lee's badge? Or is it that he's already tried with his own but it's locked out?
Marine: May I see that, sir?
Rodney: Uh…no you may not?
~ And there's Sheppard, Stanley and a body bag. And Jeannie's going to be okay. (P.S. Yes to everything livia said about this. It's not only about Rodney.)
~ The Wraith can make it so it doesn't hurt, right? I mean, there wouldn't be Wraith worshippers if it was painful, right? I'm feeling a smidgen of compassion for Wallace. I want him to die, I just don't want it to hurt.
~ Hee! You go, Jeannie, milk the guilt.
Jeannie: Like, you're gonna eat a LOT of vegetarian food.
~ So, does Rodney buying her a Prius (!) confirm the fanon trope that he's insanely rich because of all his smart guy stuff? I bet he holds several patents we couldn't even begin to understand.
~ The last minute or so…just. FLAIL.
~ FYI, Shep, why don't you ask the fangirls about your relative hotness?
~ You know what this episode was about? Going as far as you have to go, doing as much as you have to do for the people you love. And for all that it was mostly about Rodney and Jeannie, it was also about John and Rodney. You don't even have to look at it through slash goggles to see what it means, to see how far John was willing to go to save Rodney. John made a guy kill himself so Rodney wouldn't have to. Whatever kind of love that is, eros or agape, it's still love. And it's amazing.
Gero, you have redeemed yourself for Sunday.
In conclusion, FLAIL FLAIL DOLPHIN NOSE FLAIL. And maybe a little *squee*.
Ahem.