I keep thinking of Ratty and Peanut. I still can't cry, like actually break down and cry. There must be no more tears left in me. What's the matter with me?

This city is killing me.

It's raining...I love the rain. And I just had the best smoke outside, I think the rain makes everything better. I kept thinking about how I used to go over to Joe's after school and we'd smoke together out on his terrice, and just talk about everything. I miss that, I miss that so much.

I've had a terrible weekend, my friends don't like me anymore, i'm losing grip on everything. Mom got really drunk today, it made me so furious, good thing Keith was around. Hasd he not I probably would have punched her in the face. He makes it feel better sometimes.

So I've been talking to this really nice dude Matt lately, and I'm trying to get his band the Aufstand booked to play a show here in Richmond. They're really good.

I have to go job hunting soon though. I have to walk over to DQ soon and apply, if only I had the energy to walk 5 minutes across the street and do it.

That's life.

So what's been going on lately...I got to see Leftover Crack two weeks ago. Went to two other shows that weekend. Those ruled too. I hated every second being around Sean though. Everytime I'm anywhere near him I feel sick to my stomach, prick bastard. Anyway, I've been sick since last friday though due to walking 3-4 miles downtown in the pouring ( Read more... )

Ratty passed away earlier this week, I don't fucking understand it. He was so amazing, and was always there when I had no one. I've felt so numb these past few days. Why did you have to go Ratty? We never got to drink our hearts out and take you out to bowling for the first time. I'll miss you so much kid. Rest well. We'll meet one day..

God it is so fucking nice to have smokes.

So the rest of last night just consisted of us walking around in the mall and sitting in the food court making fun of fat chicks.

London and I were talking about something non important when I looked over and noticed some punk dude sitting alone on the other side of the room. I pointed it out to London and said we should go and say hello..well we ( Read more... )

It's fucking Friday...
Exams are fuckin over with..
And I get to see London, paul and Courtney tomorrow.

This weekend is going to be fan-fucking-tastic. I can feel it.

Why is it that I miss Joe like fucking crazy?

Fuck, I feel like I wasn't given enough time to even get to know him like I wanted to.

I never got a chance to ever apologize, and now he'll never know how sorry I am.

Crazy how life works out that way. Never the way you wished it could be...

And I don't even feel as if I should be allowed to say ( Read more... )