Three's a crowd, Chapter Eight

[girl_called_sun]

I was never good at chaptered fic. But I'm nearly there - it will be finished. Eventually.

This fic ties me in knots. It has taught me the very, very important concept that knowing what will happen, to whom it will happen, and how, are good to know BEFORE YOU ARE HALFWAY THROUGH THE STORY. Still, I have it worked out now, and I really quite like it

Comments

[osprey_archer]

DOM. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS LOOK AWAY AT THE IMPORTANT MOMENTS?

Silly boy. He should just tell Lerant that he's madly in love. He's Dom, it's not like anyone would turn him down.

Also, Kel, still not that good at being sneaky. Lerant, surprisingly good at dancing.

I am a little bit confused, in the middle part, when Lerant and Kel are arguing about who is getting drinks. I can't quite follow who is saying what. But other than that it's cute. & I want them all to talk to each other and be happpppppppy. :)

[girl_called_sun]

I am a little bit confused, in the middle part, when Lerant and Kel are arguing about who is getting drinks. I can't quite follow who is saying what. But other than that it's cute. & I want them all to talk to each other and be happpppppppy. :)

That's good to know, as I was getting tangled in banter by the end. *takes notes*

However, yes, Lerant is surprisingly good at the dancing. The noble house of Eldorne may be traitorous scum, but appearances must be maintained.

[girl_called_sun]

Poor Dom, he is blinded by love. And I did mean a "bay window" but I was thinking of standing in the bay of the bay window, hence my confusion.

What's on Yuletide?

[girl_called_sun]

Ah, my story! I didn't just get a fic for Yuletide, I got an epic novella! It was amazing and exciting.

[anait]

NOOOOOO DOM! Don't let your imagination run away with you!

I'm glad you have your plot sorted out. :)

I liked how tense this chapter was, and that it felt like many important things happened, but in the end WE ARE LEFT ABSOLUTELY NONE THE WISER!! *shakes fist at cruel author*

Nice job intertwining the dialogue and dancing. Dance scenes can be epic! Like in every Jane Austen novel or movie, ever, or with Tess and Ilya in 'Jaran.' They are iconic and stick in the memory. The dance itself is like meta on the courtship... okay, I'll stop now... :P

Wolset was still standing in his viewpoint, watching the dancing. “Very nice,” he commented as Kel and Lerant made their way back to him. “Lovely twirls.”
I'm in love with Wolset for this. He's just there having fun, watching everyone else have fun! Dances are pretty!

[girl_called_sun]

Ah, Wolset. He's great, isn't he? *pets Wolset*

You know, the dancing scenes are just like fighting scenes. So that's even more meta I hadn't realised was there....

All will be explained soon, the next chapter has a lot of soul bearing and truth telling.

But it'll not be finished tonight, because my copy of The Demon's Lexicon arrived! I have been in such a good mood all day about getting to read it.

[anait]

Yes to the fighting scenes as well. I hadn't thought of that.

I've been impressed that you haven't given anything away up to this point except hints, and those are from unreliable viewpoints half the time. Every time I read a new chapter, I expect that you won't be able to keep it going without revealing something for certain, but you keep spinning it out! I don't think I'd be able to keep that kind of misdirection up past the first chapter. You are like Houdini!

I envy you your copy of 'The Demon's Lexicon.' I hope it's really good! I'll have to track down a copy as well. It's very exciting!

[heather_neather]

....everything I wanted to say, Imo said.

Your dialog was terrific, as usual, and you're starting to incorporate much more descriptions within your stories, which I like-- I now have a nice full image of everything.