Drabblefic #3: Sirius/Lily, "The Path Not Taken"

[gilpin25]

Title: The Path Not Taken
Genre: Romance
Ratings & Warnings: R for Sex. Please note. Also mild language.
Word Count: 1297
Author's Note: For ladybracknell, who wanted Sirius/Lily and Charged. This one wanted to be a short fic and I've let it. I hope that's a good thing.

Comments

[lady_bracknell]

*squees*

I love the idea of this, that it's something that needs to happen once, and all of Lily's reasoning for it to do with the other men in her life, that she hasn't realised why she doesn't want to mess things up with James, but she's already got Remus and Snape pegged as not the ones. I love the idea that Sirius is just right, right there and then.

I really loved this line: She’s not interested in whether it’s to take his mind off his parents, or his brother, or the fact that everything comes so easily to him except peace of mind. That's Sirius exactly - he can have anything he wants, but what he needs is always hopelessly elusive.

Great stuff :D.

[gilpin25]

Remind me next time she's called Lily Evans at this stage! I'm back from some quick amending, lol.

Glad you liked it as it was beyond me to cover Lily's reasons for this in a proper drabble - and his too. I liked the idea of her wanting to be wild just once, instead of the 'good girl', and him equally keen for this, perhaps because he has to try everything once himself to find that elusive something that's always out there beckoning him ever on. Unless you can come up with a very good reason, and I couldn't, I find it hard to imagine them doing this behind James' back, so pre-James made sense. It's also quite hard to write anyone deciding Remus isn't the right one for them...

Very pleased you enjoyed it, and it was a great prompt as it was not something or someone(s) I would probably have done otherwise. So thanks!

[duck_or_rabbit]

*puddle*

What did you expect my reaction to be?

[gilpin25]

Hope it's a good puddle; I thought you'd be busy reading some book or other that's out! This might be one of my most self-indulgent fics ever, but I am wondering why, very sadly, there was never a Sirius Black like this at my school, and how Lily got so many good men round her... Well, two. ;)

Your icon's just right. :)

[duck_or_rabbit]

Yeah, I should be reading that book but I'm writing instead. Meh. I'll get to it.

What you got so right in this fic is that he and Lily sound like teenagers in the bit of dialogue you gave them. Sirius is debonair at sixteen but not as poetically expressive as some writers make him out to be. I wouldn't object to you writing Sirius, or Lily, more often. Gives me a chance to trot out Ben!Sirius.

[mssarajevo]

Goodness, does Mr. G know you can write like this? Lucky man.

"she sees the shutters come down in his eyes too" - love it. So real.

[gilpin25]

LOL. Mr. G does not - I shut myself away to write this sort of thing, and have a few shuttered eye looks at the screen myself while doing so. My embarrassment threshold is easily reached, it seems. ;)

Glad you enjoyed it and thanks very much!:D

[shimotsuki]

Letting this be a short fic was definitely a good thing!

So many rich and complex currents here. I like the way they're both working hard to keep it casual, but there's a sense of danger lurking, an unspoken fear that they might start to care for each other if they don't watch out.

My very favorite parts are the fact that it was seeing Sirius all undone from his worry for Remus (even though she doesn't know what's going on) that breaks the barrier and makes Lily want him, and the fact that Sirius didn't run off right away, but lay and held her afterward, even though they both knew it was once only.

[gilpin25]

Letting this be a short fic was definitely a good thing!

Well, you're reassuring me, but I always feel better if I do this type of tale in about 3,000 words of long justifcation, lol. Though I can't help feeling I haven't quite grasped the challenge of 'drabble' as it is!

Thank you for such a nice comment and for highlighting those parts. I was trying to convey that they're both quite vulnerable and needy under whatever masks they're putting on at this point, but determined not to give into that - possibly in case the other doesn't reciprocate. Or, worse, if they do...

Hope the sleeping timetable is back to normal now! ;)

[shimotsuki]

Hope the sleeping timetable is back to normal now! ;)

Mostly! Although last night was so darn humid, it was hard to fall asleep anyway. We ended up putting on the central air conditioning, even though we try not to do that very much. Ick!

(Now I'll use the icon I meant to use on my original comment -- mouse slipped, heh.)