Fic: Move Along (The Days Between Us)
There is a part of me that is amazed I still write Rent fanfic. I know all of you must look at your friends' page and be amazed that I still have anything to say about these characters. Could have finished a novel....
Author: Stephanie (Gildedmuse)
Series: Move Along
Chapter: 2. The Days Between Us
Characters: Maureen(/Joanne), Mark
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: 007. Days
Word Count: 1,930
Summary: A series of shorts reflecting how the other bohemians see the filmmaker. In the days Maureen knows will lead up to their break up, she's still feeling nervous about taking these steps away from her old life with Mark.
Past Chapters: 1. Only In Hours
Move Along
The Days Between Us
Maureen figures that Mark has no idea these are their last days together, and then she is getting off this ship.
As far as Maureen is concerned, Mark hardly even notices anything at all. At least, he never seems to take notice when she is all but screaming for his attention. Screaming for his attention by showing off her cleavage to some random guy at the bar, and maybe that wasn't the best way to get Mark to stop playing around with his camera. Playing around with his camera, Maureen snorts at the saying. It's what Roger calls it when Mark masturbates. With the way he treats his cameras, it might as well be sex.
See, Maureen isn't a total slut. A tease and a flirt, yes, but who doesn't want some extra attention now and then? Who doesn't want to feel loved, and for as obsessed with her as he acted Mark could never really do that for her. Make her feel like the center of the universe, like she doesn't need to flirt around for some affection. He is too detached for that. He looks past Maureen, not really seeing her for anything other than an obsession, someone to put on film. She's an actress and that is what she wants, right?
Only... Only what if she wants more than just attention from some cold camera?
So now she's just giving up all together, going to stop clinging to their sinking relationship and getting out while she still can. And, okay, maybe it would be nice if she straight out (she giggles a bit at the thought now) told him that this is it. After this, she is gone. And not in her usual come-back-a-week-later way, either. She can't do this anymore. She likes Mark, loves him, even, in a certain sort of way. Still, this is insane. He spends all his time with that damn camera of his or writing scripts or at Roger's bedside as he shakes and vomits and screams out for April. Yeah, she gets that Roger needs help but, really, it's just the guilt that April killed herself. It's been a year, for God's sake. The drugs aren't the problem anymore. The sickness shouldn't be, either. Collins has it, after all, and he doesn't spend all night in his room crying. Just Roger and his overacting and exaggerating how much of April's suicide had been his fault. Maureen understands that Mark feels the need to help him, as his best friend, but sometimes she wishes he would just slap Roger and drag him somewhere. Maybe that club they use to go to. The Cat Scratch Club with the strippers. Find him someone to fall in love with and, snap, he'll be fine.
She's getting off topic, even in her own thoughts. The point is maybe she should tell him, give him some sort of hint. She really doesn't think he knows. He never seems to notice much when it came to her, and that was part of the problem. Maureen needs to feel loved, to feel noticed. At first Mark was the perfect boyfriend. He would film her, talk about casting her in some part and how they'd be famous together. He had these big dreams, but it turns out these dreams were just a way to get him through filming.
Oh, he can be a great boyfriend when he wants to be. He'll do what she asks, he'll smile at her and call her beautiful. All those small things that girls want. He doesn't even complain that much when she flirts. Well, that was more part of the problem. She needs to feel beautiful, but even when she gets the attention she wishes Mark should still be there, scowling at the guy she's hanging over and pulling her way. Isn't that how it should go? To prove that he still finds her interesting instead of just letting it happen! She wants jealousy! She wants sparks! She wants to know he loves her enough to stop her! Yes, that is part of their problem.
But only a part of it.
"Maureen, are you sure you want to do this?" Mark asks, pushing his glasses up his nose and fixing her with this look. Almost like he's afraid of her determination. Maureen knows she gets a little scary when she wants something. This is serious stuff, though, something people should just shrug aside thinking that it's just the air headed plan of a self absorbed diva. If anyone is a self absorbed diva it, well, maybe sometimes it's Maureen but mostly, she thinks, it's Roger. Sure, when she gets this loud and fierce about something she sort of act like more of an attention whore than usual, but Maureen doesn't let herself think that way. She's good believing what she wants, like how she swears she's doing this for the homeless and not because, well, it's important to Mark, and with all the stress in his life that Maureen's about to make worse, he deserves something.
She vaguely wonders if doing this out of guilt makes her a bad person, then dismisses it. It's a cause, damnit, and it's a cause that will be important to her.
"Don't YOU ALWAYS say how HORRIBLE it is that people treat the homeless like ANIMALS?" Maureen asks, punctuating her words just like her old acting teacher, Mr. Cauldwell, taught her. She's really trying to get into this. "YOU'RE not just going to LET some yuppie SCUM like BENNY take away these people's HOME, are you?"
Mark bites at his lip, looking wholly uncomfortable and Maureen smirks a bit, already knowing she's won despite the fact that he hasn't said anything yet. Maybe, she worries, he can sense that something is wrong. But, no, Mark never seems to notice much when it comes to her and, finally, with a low sigh, he relinquishes.
"Okay," he says, nodding solemnly and pushing at his glasses again. He looks around the empty lot where a tent city has formed. There are the ruins of some building around them, and after studying the landscape for a while he points over to the back of the lot. "There's still some of the floor left back there. We could use it as a stage."
"Oh, Mark!" Maureen throws herself into Mark's arms, giving him a tight hug and a messy kiss. Maybe they'll even have sex tonight, just as a sort of going away thing. Not that Mark knows she's leaving, and maybe that is cruel but Maureen can't bring herself to tell him yet. She's still going to spend a few more days with him, just a while to give him a proper goodbye. After all, she doesn't want to leave with Mark being upset with her. Never mind that he'll probably be pissed with her anyway, just for breaking up with him. Maureen isn't thinking about that.
Maybe, okay... Maybe she's scared. It's only right to be a little freaked out, though, right? After all, she's been with Mark for three years now. That's a long time to be with someone, even with all their little fights and breaks ups. And he's a good guy, a sweet guy, a reliable guy. He's just... well, a guy.
Maureen always figured it was normal, thinking girls were beautiful. Why not? She knows she's gorgeous, after all. It's not like she's small-minded. She has lesbian friends. She's even experimented before and, yeah, that was fun but she figures making out is always fun. Kind of like she's figured you're not supposed to orgasm every time you have sex, and that really isn't what sex is about anyway so much as the attention.
Then she started messing around with girls and, well, what if sex is about coming every time? She wouldn't argue with that.
She's always figured it was normal, though, thinking that girls are beautiful. After all, half naked girls seem to be everywhere, and hardly anyone talks about how gorgeous men are. Plus, guys are built sort of wrong. Too tough looking, flat and oddly angled and don't even get her started on how just plain ugly the penis can be. Not that she's ever tell Mark that. Hell, Mark's penis is kind of cute in a weird way. There is still the fact that she likes curves more and the softness that comes with women. Normal, she figured. Nothing different about her at all.
Amazing that it took three years in New York, flirting with hundreds of men, and finally ending up being pulled out of jail by a plus sized lesbian lawyer after protesting the opening of a new McDonalds over what use to be a locally owned café to change her mind. She pouts a little, remembering that day. Damnit, that McDonalds still got built. Mark hadn't even showed up, even after he promised. He got distracted by Roger or film or something. It doesn't matter, the point is that he hadn't been there and she'd wound up in a cell and Joanne, some random lawyer that happen to be passing by the protest site, came to her rescue.
The promise, Maureen explains when Joanne asks what she had been thinking, is that Maureen grown up watching protests from the sixties and seventies that her parents had been in, having loved the excitement and staging of it all. They never warned her that, really, those protests never work. Maureen is too optimists, though, to just give up and admit that good ideas and a little artistic determination can't change the world. That's what Maureen wants. Her face in people's minds, in the paper, bringing back the revolution of bohemia.
Off topic again, and Mark brings her back when he pulls out of the hug. He's got an erection from pressing into Maureen, shifting around a bit to try and hide it. He can be so adorable sometimes. "I'll see what I can do," he promises, and even though he knows this idea is crazy, he's going along with it.
That's why she's still here, giving Mark these last few days. Even if she really doesn't want to sleep with him anymore and, yeah, leading him on is a bad thing, she still loves him. He's good to her, even with the lack of attention, and he believes in her ideas even when they both know they're not going to work. She's afraid to let go of someone like that. She's afraid to let go of Mark, and give up every part of her life that he symbolizes.
Nobody knows she's afraid of course, and it isn't the sort of thing Maureen would let people know. She wouldn't expect Mark to know what it is like, being afraid of where you're life is going. He always seems so cut off from the rest of them, how could he possibly understand? And as frustrating as that can be, it's nice to have someone to hold onto that you know won't break down. Besides, the frustration is a lot less scary then the fear of the change.
But then she'll go home to Joanne, and she curl up in her arms and they'll talk and laugh and be so in love. So Maureen will end up leaving Mark, she just needs time. She knows it and Joanne knows it and everyone must know it expect for Mark. There are a lot of things like this that Mark misses, though. For a filmmaker, he can be so blind.
Author: Stephanie (Gildedmuse)
Series: Move Along
Chapter: 2. The Days Between Us
Characters: Maureen(/Joanne), Mark
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: 007. Days
Word Count: 1,930
Summary: A series of shorts reflecting how the other bohemians see the filmmaker. In the days Maureen knows will lead up to their break up, she's still feeling nervous about taking these steps away from her old life with Mark.
Past Chapters: 1. Only In Hours
Move Along
The Days Between Us
Maureen figures that Mark has no idea these are their last days together, and then she is getting off this ship.
As far as Maureen is concerned, Mark hardly even notices anything at all. At least, he never seems to take notice when she is all but screaming for his attention. Screaming for his attention by showing off her cleavage to some random guy at the bar, and maybe that wasn't the best way to get Mark to stop playing around with his camera. Playing around with his camera, Maureen snorts at the saying. It's what Roger calls it when Mark masturbates. With the way he treats his cameras, it might as well be sex.
See, Maureen isn't a total slut. A tease and a flirt, yes, but who doesn't want some extra attention now and then? Who doesn't want to feel loved, and for as obsessed with her as he acted Mark could never really do that for her. Make her feel like the center of the universe, like she doesn't need to flirt around for some affection. He is too detached for that. He looks past Maureen, not really seeing her for anything other than an obsession, someone to put on film. She's an actress and that is what she wants, right?
Only... Only what if she wants more than just attention from some cold camera?
So now she's just giving up all together, going to stop clinging to their sinking relationship and getting out while she still can. And, okay, maybe it would be nice if she straight out (she giggles a bit at the thought now) told him that this is it. After this, she is gone. And not in her usual come-back-a-week-later way, either. She can't do this anymore. She likes Mark, loves him, even, in a certain sort of way. Still, this is insane. He spends all his time with that damn camera of his or writing scripts or at Roger's bedside as he shakes and vomits and screams out for April. Yeah, she gets that Roger needs help but, really, it's just the guilt that April killed herself. It's been a year, for God's sake. The drugs aren't the problem anymore. The sickness shouldn't be, either. Collins has it, after all, and he doesn't spend all night in his room crying. Just Roger and his overacting and exaggerating how much of April's suicide had been his fault. Maureen understands that Mark feels the need to help him, as his best friend, but sometimes she wishes he would just slap Roger and drag him somewhere. Maybe that club they use to go to. The Cat Scratch Club with the strippers. Find him someone to fall in love with and, snap, he'll be fine.
She's getting off topic, even in her own thoughts. The point is maybe she should tell him, give him some sort of hint. She really doesn't think he knows. He never seems to notice much when it came to her, and that was part of the problem. Maureen needs to feel loved, to feel noticed. At first Mark was the perfect boyfriend. He would film her, talk about casting her in some part and how they'd be famous together. He had these big dreams, but it turns out these dreams were just a way to get him through filming.
Oh, he can be a great boyfriend when he wants to be. He'll do what she asks, he'll smile at her and call her beautiful. All those small things that girls want. He doesn't even complain that much when she flirts. Well, that was more part of the problem. She needs to feel beautiful, but even when she gets the attention she wishes Mark should still be there, scowling at the guy she's hanging over and pulling her way. Isn't that how it should go? To prove that he still finds her interesting instead of just letting it happen! She wants jealousy! She wants sparks! She wants to know he loves her enough to stop her! Yes, that is part of their problem.
But only a part of it.
"Maureen, are you sure you want to do this?" Mark asks, pushing his glasses up his nose and fixing her with this look. Almost like he's afraid of her determination. Maureen knows she gets a little scary when she wants something. This is serious stuff, though, something people should just shrug aside thinking that it's just the air headed plan of a self absorbed diva. If anyone is a self absorbed diva it, well, maybe sometimes it's Maureen but mostly, she thinks, it's Roger. Sure, when she gets this loud and fierce about something she sort of act like more of an attention whore than usual, but Maureen doesn't let herself think that way. She's good believing what she wants, like how she swears she's doing this for the homeless and not because, well, it's important to Mark, and with all the stress in his life that Maureen's about to make worse, he deserves something.
She vaguely wonders if doing this out of guilt makes her a bad person, then dismisses it. It's a cause, damnit, and it's a cause that will be important to her.
"Don't YOU ALWAYS say how HORRIBLE it is that people treat the homeless like ANIMALS?" Maureen asks, punctuating her words just like her old acting teacher, Mr. Cauldwell, taught her. She's really trying to get into this. "YOU'RE not just going to LET some yuppie SCUM like BENNY take away these people's HOME, are you?"
Mark bites at his lip, looking wholly uncomfortable and Maureen smirks a bit, already knowing she's won despite the fact that he hasn't said anything yet. Maybe, she worries, he can sense that something is wrong. But, no, Mark never seems to notice much when it comes to her and, finally, with a low sigh, he relinquishes.
"Okay," he says, nodding solemnly and pushing at his glasses again. He looks around the empty lot where a tent city has formed. There are the ruins of some building around them, and after studying the landscape for a while he points over to the back of the lot. "There's still some of the floor left back there. We could use it as a stage."
"Oh, Mark!" Maureen throws herself into Mark's arms, giving him a tight hug and a messy kiss. Maybe they'll even have sex tonight, just as a sort of going away thing. Not that Mark knows she's leaving, and maybe that is cruel but Maureen can't bring herself to tell him yet. She's still going to spend a few more days with him, just a while to give him a proper goodbye. After all, she doesn't want to leave with Mark being upset with her. Never mind that he'll probably be pissed with her anyway, just for breaking up with him. Maureen isn't thinking about that.
Maybe, okay... Maybe she's scared. It's only right to be a little freaked out, though, right? After all, she's been with Mark for three years now. That's a long time to be with someone, even with all their little fights and breaks ups. And he's a good guy, a sweet guy, a reliable guy. He's just... well, a guy.
Maureen always figured it was normal, thinking girls were beautiful. Why not? She knows she's gorgeous, after all. It's not like she's small-minded. She has lesbian friends. She's even experimented before and, yeah, that was fun but she figures making out is always fun. Kind of like she's figured you're not supposed to orgasm every time you have sex, and that really isn't what sex is about anyway so much as the attention.
Then she started messing around with girls and, well, what if sex is about coming every time? She wouldn't argue with that.
She's always figured it was normal, though, thinking that girls are beautiful. After all, half naked girls seem to be everywhere, and hardly anyone talks about how gorgeous men are. Plus, guys are built sort of wrong. Too tough looking, flat and oddly angled and don't even get her started on how just plain ugly the penis can be. Not that she's ever tell Mark that. Hell, Mark's penis is kind of cute in a weird way. There is still the fact that she likes curves more and the softness that comes with women. Normal, she figured. Nothing different about her at all.
Amazing that it took three years in New York, flirting with hundreds of men, and finally ending up being pulled out of jail by a plus sized lesbian lawyer after protesting the opening of a new McDonalds over what use to be a locally owned café to change her mind. She pouts a little, remembering that day. Damnit, that McDonalds still got built. Mark hadn't even showed up, even after he promised. He got distracted by Roger or film or something. It doesn't matter, the point is that he hadn't been there and she'd wound up in a cell and Joanne, some random lawyer that happen to be passing by the protest site, came to her rescue.
The promise, Maureen explains when Joanne asks what she had been thinking, is that Maureen grown up watching protests from the sixties and seventies that her parents had been in, having loved the excitement and staging of it all. They never warned her that, really, those protests never work. Maureen is too optimists, though, to just give up and admit that good ideas and a little artistic determination can't change the world. That's what Maureen wants. Her face in people's minds, in the paper, bringing back the revolution of bohemia.
Off topic again, and Mark brings her back when he pulls out of the hug. He's got an erection from pressing into Maureen, shifting around a bit to try and hide it. He can be so adorable sometimes. "I'll see what I can do," he promises, and even though he knows this idea is crazy, he's going along with it.
That's why she's still here, giving Mark these last few days. Even if she really doesn't want to sleep with him anymore and, yeah, leading him on is a bad thing, she still loves him. He's good to her, even with the lack of attention, and he believes in her ideas even when they both know they're not going to work. She's afraid to let go of someone like that. She's afraid to let go of Mark, and give up every part of her life that he symbolizes.
Nobody knows she's afraid of course, and it isn't the sort of thing Maureen would let people know. She wouldn't expect Mark to know what it is like, being afraid of where you're life is going. He always seems so cut off from the rest of them, how could he possibly understand? And as frustrating as that can be, it's nice to have someone to hold onto that you know won't break down. Besides, the frustration is a lot less scary then the fear of the change.
But then she'll go home to Joanne, and she curl up in her arms and they'll talk and laugh and be so in love. So Maureen will end up leaving Mark, she just needs time. She knows it and Joanne knows it and everyone must know it expect for Mark. There are a lot of things like this that Mark misses, though. For a filmmaker, he can be so blind.