Manipulate Me, Knead Me, Caress Me (5a/?)
Title: Manipulate Me, Knead Me, Caress Me (5a/?)
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, Blaine/OC
Spoilers: None, AU
Warnings: Nah, none except Sebastian being a douchebag?
Word Count: 18,000+ (in total)
Summary: The sequel to Manipulate Me. This story follows sixteen year old Blaine as he looks for another happy ending after his first full body session with his masseuse Kurt. In this part, the boys have a revelation.
A/N Eek, I missed the weekend update. Sorry I was procrastinating by watching YouTube videos of drag queens applying their style of make-up. Fascinating.
Also as this beastie had already hit 5k words I thought I would break it up into two parts. This mammoth part contains no smut but the next part will definitely make up for it.
A tickle in Blaine’s throat is slowing turning into an uncomfortable scratch as he peers out the car window. Not that there’s much to look at. Sleet slaps against the car, wind rocking it slightly as his brother waits for the light to change to green. The cool of the car window is a nice contrast against the heat of his pounding head. Clearly there was a little too much hanging around outside last night without enough layers while they’d been celebrating the success of their performances and Blaine was paying for it today.
They were in Columbus, somewhere familiar, but Blaine couldn’t be sure exactly where they were or where they were heading. He’d woken up this morning to find Cooper waiting for him before prodding him into a shower and then to the car.
“So, where are we going?” he mumbles.
The car jerks as Cooper accelerates out of the intersection. “Well Squirt, you look like shit. So the plan is that I’m going to buy you a cup of coffee and some pancakes or something and when you resemble something looking vaguely human, we can talk.”
“Talk? I can barely think right now” Blaine grumbled as he shifts in his seat. He frowns as a few buildings start to appear very familiar. Straightening up a little he says “Hold up, exactly where are we going?”
“Mmmm. Oh, it’s right up there!”
Cooper parked the car a few doors down from their destination, pulled on his hat and gloves and hopped out of the car before making a run for the front door. “C’mon Squirt!” he shouted against the wind.
Blaine pulled his scarf tighter against his throat before stepping out into the weather. He squinted, looking for his brother, before ambling over to the club’s entrance, head ducked against the cold. His brother’s hand shot out, grabbing him by the lapel and hauled him inside quickly.
After shucking their winter gear, they found themselves seated around a table in a cozy corner of the mostly empty club. Blaine couldn’t figure out why they were here of all places. He slipped his glasses on to get a better look at his surroundings, taking in the subtly lit club he’d been in the night before, while a waiter set menus down in front of the pair. It looked...ridiculously normal, like a shabby chic cafe, and smaller than it had last night when there’d been wall to wall bodies, swirling lights and thumping music.
Posters and photos decorated the wall closest to them exclaiming the fabulousness that was the previous Bag Ladies tour and last year’s Pride night at Kings Island as an old Rolling Stones tune played softly in the background. Looking past Cooper, he could see the wall around the entrance was littered with new posters and flyers for upcoming events. He frowned, remembering that he’d grabbed a flyer last night on the way out before...heading home to find Cooper waiting for him...oh. Fuck. He swallowed the rising lump of panic in his throat. Glancing over Cooper’s other shoulder for another escape route, one not quite as chilly as the front door; his fuzzy memory reminded him that there were bathrooms at the other end of the bar and his eyes widened at the opportunity. Run.
Blaine rose from his chair suddenly, bumping the table, his eyes darting between his brother, the waiter and his destination. He swallowed, preparing to speak but no words came out so he just let his feet take him away quickly.
The waiter looked at Cooper curiously, “Is he alright?”
“Aye, so he is. What specials d’ya have dis mornin’?” Cooper asked in shoddy Irish accent.
Blaine braced himself against the basin before splashing more water on his face. Why were they here? Oh God, Cooper did say that they were going to ‘talk’. Did Cooper know? What should he say? Should he deny it?
Blaine shakily pulled in deep breaths trying to keep himself calm. He couldn’t think straight, not without a cup of coffee in his system at least.
He studied his reflection in the mirror and sighed. He looked tired. He felt tired too and not just because of the lack of sleep or the dehydration. He was tired of pretending. It wasn’t like he’d been keeping this a secret for a long time, not really, but it was the sheer effort required to force himself to keep quiet, to distract, to not give too much away every time his dad or brother teased him over getting a girlfriend or when his mom went on and on about taking a girl to a dance. Yeah, that had been grinding him down... and not being able to be honest with his parents. It wasn’t like they were horrible people, they were just....well, parents, for lack of a better word. They were never quite on the same wavelength and he never knew how they would react to the things he felt were important so sometimes it’s just simpler not to say anything at all which they’d made even easier by giving him, perhaps just a little too much, space. Except now, he was so over not being able to speak up. Of course, the weariness he felt didn’t diminish the fear. He loved his family and he knew they loved him as he was. Sure, they may not be the closest family on the planet but he cherished them all the same and he didn’t want his sexuality to change any of that. He just wanted to be loved. Was that really too much to ask for? He sighed again and swiped at his eyes. If he wanted coffee, he’d have to go back out there. Shit.
Cooper was sipping from a steaming mug as Blaine slipped back into his seat. “Hope you don’t mind Squirt but I got you a hot chocolate and a coffee, uh, because I wasn’t sure what you like. Um, and an orange juice. And iced water” Cooper trailed off uncertainly.
Puzzled, Blaine stared at the assortment of drinks in front of him and then looked up at his brother while blinking slowly, “Huh?”
Cooper shrugged and looked away, seemingly embarrassed. “What? You looked thirsty” he said a little defensively.
Blaine looked back down at his drinks, all of them, and laughed, all his tension dissolving immediately. “As it turns out, I am” he said with a smile and swooped on the glass of water, knocking it back before picking up the hot chocolate and taking a couple of gulps. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.
They made small talk after placing their orders before launching into a heated conversation about the upcoming Superbowl game as their meals arrived while a Rihanna track played on in the background.
“That seems to be a lot of sugar for brunch” Blaine frowned as he inspected the stack of chocolate chip pancakes and whipped cream piled high in front of a grinning Cooper.
“It’s the perfect way to start the day, Blainers” he retorted, fork poised to strike.
“Because you’re five?”
“Because I’m five” Cooper agreed proudly.
Blaine became aware of the steady trickle of people coming into the club as he munched his way through his bacon, spinach and tomato omelette. Most being seated at tables around them but a few ambled over, with coffee cups in hand, to a couple of couches set up on the other side of the dance floor. They all seemed like college student types, groups of friends mostly that were dressed casually. Occasionally there would be the flash of a sparkly leg or bouffant hair. Blaine people-watched, trying to spot the couples in amongst the groups of girls and guys, as his brother continued to attack his diminishing mountain of pancakes.
“See someone you know?” Cooper asked with his mouth half full.
“Nope. Just looking” Blaine replied as he watched a group of 20-something women giggle and flirt with their waiter as the music changed again to a bluesy Beatles track.
Cooper turned to glance behind himself, “Huh, it’s really starting to fill up. I’m kinda glad we got here a little early. I didn’t realize it was going to be so popular.”
Blaine braced himself before asking a variation of the question that had been bugging him all morning, “How did you find out about this place anyway?”
Cooper’s hand froze mid-air, fork piled high and mouth open, as a frown flashed over his face, “Um, you told me?”
It was Blaine’s turn to frown, “What?! When?”
Cooper put his fork down and put his ‘concerned’ face on. “How much do you remember after you got home last night?” he asked trying to avoid telling Blaine outright that he’d lifted the flyer from his desk and had Google-stalked the club this morning.
Blaine glanced away guiltily, “Uh, most of it?”
“Geez Blainers, you’ve gotta cut back on the drinking thing. You’re killing off brain cells that you’re gonna need for exams and stuff.”
“Oh yeah, the all important .... ‘stuff’” he retorted while rolling his eyes and do air quotes with his fingers.
“Pfft, shut up. You’ve already made me quote Dad today! Oh don’t look so surprised. I remember having this exact conversation with him when I was your age.”
“You remember asking Dad how he found out about a gay nightclub slash brunch spot when you were sixteen? What is it you’re not telling me Coop?” Blaine sassed.
Cooper took a deep breath as he leveled his gaze at his younger brother. “I think the real question is what is it that you’re not telling me, Blaine?”
Blaine choked on a mouthful of orange juice. Careful to keep his eyes downcast, he grabbed a napkin to wipe up the small spill on the table. The noises of the bustling club fell away as he focused solely on his breathing. He could hear the pulse in his neck thumping a quick beat as his nerves took hold of him. It was deafening. He wondered briefly if he was too young to have a heart attack.
Cooper reached across to steady Blaine’s hand. “I’m serious, Squirt. Clearly there’s something you need to tell me and I think I know what it is but I just want you to know how much I look up to you. Well, obviously not literally ‘cos y’know, you’re kinda short-“
“Hey, I’m still growing!” Blaine interrupted, defending himself as he pulled his hand away.
“I know, I know. What I was trying to say was that, well, you’re really cool B. You’ve come into your own this year and sure, the Dribblers thing has helped bring you out of your shell, but it takes a lot of guts to stand up in front of everyone and perform, to put yourself out there like that and not everyone has that ability y’know, to stand up and be proud like that. And you should be proud, B.”
Blaine peeked up to catch his older brother’s eyes while his own were shining.
“You’re really talented B, maybe not quite as much as me, but I’m glad you’re my brother and I’ve got the chance to see you grow up and become a man. You’re going to become someone amazing Blaine. Even if you continue to insist on wearing sweater vests and bowties” Cooper finished his spiel derisively before looking back down at his plate, hoping he hadn’t gone too far. Their ‘love/hate friendly competition’ thing didn’t seem quite as friendly after Blaine’s comments last night about never measuring up.
Feeling his younger brother’s eyes on him, Cooper glanced back up and saw Blaine’s chin wobble a little. He had simply been hoping that Blaine wouldn’t throw a fork at him or go back to hide in the bathroom but it seemed as though Blaine was frozen in place trying not to cry.
“Shit, Squirt. I - I didn’t mean to upset you. I just-“
“OK.” Blaine started determinedly as he cut his brother off. He steeled his nerves and continued on with a certainty ringing in his tone of voice, “Firstly, they’re called the Warblers, Coop! Not the Dribblers. And secondly, you didn’t upset me. I just can’t believe that you’re capable of acknowledging that I’m possibly more talented than you are and last, but not least, I’m gay” he finished off in a rush before sculling the rest of his OJ down.
Cooper’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth dropped open.
“I did NOT say you were more talented than I am!”
Blaine blinked at him waiting for the penny to drop and when it didn’t seem to he just had to ask, “Was that all you got out of that?”
Cooper spluttered as his hands started to wave about counting off his points, “Are you kidding? Firstly, I’ll call them whatever I want to. They’re barely out of nappies so they may as well be the Dribblers. Secondly, I said you weren’t as talented as me. How you got that idea into your tiny, tiny head is beyond me. And third, OK then.”
“Wait. OK then?” Blaine said suspiciously, his eyes narrowing.
“What?” Cooper asked innocently. “If that’s what you are, then that’s what you are, Blaine. What’s the big deal?”
“What’s the big deal? Are you kidding?” Blaine exclaimed loudly before hissing out, “Do you know how much I’ve been stressing out about saying anything. To anyone. About...this?!”
Cooper stared at him over the edge of his cup of coffee as he shrugged.
“So you’re OK with this? With me?” Blaine demanded.
Cooper put his cup back on the table while nodding. “Yeah. I mean, am I surprised? Well, yeah a bit. You’re a lot like I was in high school, y’know except for the bowtie thing, but we both like the same things: acting, singing and performing but I’m definitely not gay and yes, before you start, I know that wearing a bowtie doesn’t make you gay. They’re just not for me, OK?”
Blaine chuckled, “OK, OK, I get the bowtie thing. But...you don’t seem shocked.”
“Well Blainers, you did kinda give the whole game away last night.”
Blaine dropped his fork, “What?” he asked horrified and a little worried as to what was going to come out of his brother’s mouth next.
“I asked you if you had someone special and you said that it wasn’t official but that he was special to you and then I found the flyer for this place on your desk that you’d fished out of your pocket” he stated gleefully. “You don’t remember that do you?”
“Aw shit” Blaine put his head in his hands and groaned quietly to himself. He thought he was being so careful but he’d just blurted it out last night and he didn’t even remember a thing about it! Still, it could have been worse. He didn’t actually mention Kurt by name, or the spa or the sex and thank God it was Cooper and not his Dad that had been waiting for him last night. He shuddered at the thought.
“So.....what’s he like?” Cooper asked, determined to get the lowdown on his brother’s boy-toy.
“Uh, who?” Blaine feigned ignorance.
“Oh c’mon, the guy that gave you the hickey? Or is there someone else on the side?” Cooper leaned forwards on his elbows.
“What!” Blaine squeaked. “No. It’s not like that!”
“OK, so what’s it like then?”
“Wait, Coop. I don’t understand why you’re OK with this all of a sudden.”
Cooper frowned, “All of a sudden? No, no, I went to Berkeley in California - there were plenty of gay guys in my Performance Studies class and my college roommate was gay, don’t you remember?”
“Hello! I was, like, eight when we dropped you and all your stuff off at the dorms. I remember the road trip, saying goodbye and the ice cream we got afterwards but that’s about it. And besides, you were only in the dorms for a year before you dropped out and it’s not like you had deep and meaningful conversations with me back then, or like, ever. OK, until now” Blaine conceded.
“Right, so consider this making up for lost time” Cooper shrugged. “Let’s start small then. The guy that gave you the hickey, what’s his name?”
“I-I-I can’t, Coop.”
Cooper’s brows furrowed and he sighed, “OK, but you were here last night? After the dance?”
“Uh, yeah. We came here to celebrate the Warblers’ success at the formal.”
“We? Wait, all of the Warblers? So the rumors about Dalton being a gay Hogwarts are true?”
Blaine laughed, “Nope, not true. There probably are other gay guys there but they’re not shouting it from the rooftops or anything. Four of us came here last night. And oh my God, I have to tell you the funniest thing happened at the bar....”
Sebastian grunted as his roommate Maxie elbowed him in the ribs. “What!” he groaned.
“Someone take your fancy, then?” she giggled as she slumped further into the couch.
He tucked a long leg under him, “What are you on about?”
She nodded towards the opposite wall, “You can’t seem to take your eyes of those two guys over there. You haven’t even asked to look at the songbook once!”
“Huh. Pass it over then! I’m first up on the sign-up sheet.”
“So...”
“So?”
“So, those guys over there....are....cute?” she guessed. To Sebastian, practically every guy was a version of cute or fuckable.
“I think I know one of them and the other one, the young one, came into the spa yesterday” he said thoughtfully.
“So, you’ve screwed the older one? And the other one’s a customer?” Maxie asked a tad confused.
“Hmm? No, the kid is one of Kurt’s. I’m sure I know the other guy from somewhere though. I definitely haven’t fucked him; I’d remember that bod for sure.”
Sebastian turned his attention back to the book and made his selection before passing it over to the next couch. He continued to watch the boy as he seemed to be telling a story, making the other guy snort and giggle. The other guy seemed a little old to be the kid’s friend, hmmm boyfriend maybe? The kid did look pretty cozy with Kurt yesterday. Maybe he has a thing for older guys? Well, Sebastian could definitely help him out there.
“Hey! Here he is!” Maxie jabbed him again but this time shoved a copy of The Word into his hands before he could complain.
Sebastian looked down to see a shirtless grinning guy lounging on a bed in a half page ad with the words ‘Erectile Dysfunction?” splayed above the photo. He glanced back up to the older guy across the room. Yep, definitely him. Oh, this is too good to pass up.
Cooper was still chortling at Blaine’s story when a stranger wandered up to their table.
“Hey, don’t I know you?” the lanky guy nodded towards Cooper.
Blaine looked up and did a double take. “Sebastian?” he said, tilting his head in confusion.
Cooper’s head jerked over to his brother. He knew this guy?
“Oh, Hi. Your Kurt’s boy from yesterday, right?”
Cooper’s eyebrows shot up. Kurt’s boy? Yesterday? His eyes narrowed as his gaze swung between Blaine and Sebastian.
“Uh, yeah. I’m Blaine” he said softly as he held his hand out to shake Sebastian’s, “And this is my brother Cooper” he said while gesturing to his brother.
“Oh, your brother! Well that makes sense I guess and here I thought you just had a thing for older men, Blaine. Not that I can blame you for tapping that, after all Kurt is a hot piece of ass.” Sebastian smirked as he watched Blaine blush heavily. He clapped a hand on Blaine’s shoulder as he leaned into his ear and said a little more seductively, “I should know, we were just here last night having a few drinks and dancing before I took him home.”
Blaine choked as he trying to get the picture of those two drunkenly grinding on each other out of his head. He shook Sebastian’s hand from his shoulder as Cooper coughed loudly to divert Sebastian’s attention.
“It was nice to have met you Sebastian” Cooper said as he turned in his chair slightly, trying to dismiss him as quickly as possible.
“You too, Cooper. I can’t tell you how delighted I am to put a name to the face in this ad” Sebastian said smarmily as he lay the open magazine down on the table. “Perhaps you would be so kind as to grace me with an autograph?”
Blaine’s eye bulged as he took note of the advert.
Cooper paused for just a second before whipping a sharpie out of his pocket. He narrowed his eyes as he signed his name and an inscription over the advert. “Enjoy. Now if you don’t mind, we need to get going” he smiled politely as he handed the magazine back over. Motioning to Blaine to get moving, Cooper nodded to Sebastian and headed off to the bar to pay the bill.
As Blaine stood up, he watched Sebastian’s face twist in annoyance as he read what Cooper had written. Although his interest was piqued, he wasn’t about to get stuck here without Cooper so he hurried off without so much as a goodbye in Sebastian’s direction.
“He signed it? Hah! What did he say?” Maxie asked making grabby hands for the magazine as her roommate dropped back onto the couch.
“Sebastian, I’m glad to hear these products have changed your life. It’s nice to know that the products I endorse actually work for guys like yourself. All the best, Cooper Anderson” Maxie chortled as she read the inscription aloud before collapsing into a fit of giggles.
“That smug bastard!” Sebastian huffed as he crossed his arms defiantly.
“Erectile dysfunction?” Blaine asked as he did up his seatbelt.
“Look, sometimes you’ve got to take what work there is. At least they were true to their word and the adverts are only running in ‘alternative’ media publications. I figured there was less of a chance of Mom and her friends seeing it that way” Cooper chuckled as he started the car.
“Anyway, I’ve got a meeting next week with the freecreditrating.com people for a TV spot!”
Blaine smiled, “That’s great Coop!”
“Ahem, so you’re ‘Kurt’s boy’, are you?” Cooper asked slyly.
Blaine paused, pondering just how much he should say before he decided to play it safe. “Ah, yeah, at the spa. Kurt’s my masseuse. I had an appointment yesterday morning and Sebastian works there as well.”
“Masseuse? Why do you need a massage?” a puzzled Cooper asked.
“It was a Christmas gift. And they’re nice...relaxing, y’know?” Blaine said dismissively.
“Oh, right. Wasn’t Rosy going on about her new masseuse?” Cooper queried as Blaine nodded.
“After that little run-in with Sebastian I think I need to relax. Maybe Kurt could fit me in?”
“Ah, maybe. You might not get a booking for a couple of weeks though as he’s really in demand” Blaine replied hoping that his brother wasn’t going to follow through. Somewhere along the way, Cooper seemed to have developed a Spidey-sense about Blaine and he really didn’t want to get his lover and his crazy superpower wielding brother in the same room if he could help it.
“Yes, so Sebastian made abundantly clear” Cooper said while smirking.
“Huh?”
“Sebastian clearly thought there was something going on between you two and well, you heard what he was insinuating happened last night” Cooper caught the frown that flickered over his younger brother’s face. “I don’t think I ever seen you blush that particular shade of red before.” Cooper side-eyed him before continuing, “So, is Kurt a ‘hot piece of ass’ then?”
Blaine’s face flamed again as he stared out the window. “Maybe” he mumbled, trying not to smile.
Cooper grinned as they took the next left. “Don’t worry about what Sebastian said. He’s just an asshole. Hey, should we hit up White Castle on the way home?”
“Coop! We just ate.”
“Yeah, but we’re already here” Cooper said smiling as he pulled into the drive-thru lane.
It wasn’t until they were almost home that Cooper said “You know if you want me to be there when you tell Mom ‘n Dad, I don’t mind. But until you do, I won’t say anything, OK?”
Blaine gave his brother a small smile. “Thanks Coop but I’m not ready to tell them just yet though.”
“But you’ll let me know when you do?”
“Yeah, I’ll let you know when I do.”
As Blaine lay in bed that night, he went over what Sebastian had said earlier in the day. Worry twisted in his gut at the thought of sharing Kurt with the likes of Sebastian. He sighed as he realized that he had no right to be jealous. They’d made no promises to each other. They weren’t even together. In fact, they barely knew anything about each other.
They had this weird sort of anonymous friendship thing going on that was muddled with the fact that Blaine was essentially paying to see Kurt, to sleep with Kurt, like he was a hooker. Oh God, that’s awful. He’s essentially paid someone to have sex with him, to take his virginity. Wait, wait, he reasoned with himself, the first time Kurt was paid for a massage. The sex was definitely unexpected but just a bonus nonetheless. OK, yes that was true but it can’t go on like this. Namely because Blaine was going to run out of options and money sooner rather than later but also paying to spend time with someone just felt...wrong.
Resolute, he decided that the next time would be the last time. At least at the spa. He had nothing to lose if he put himself out there and asked Kurt for his phone number and if there happened to be a booty call or two after that, well, he wouldn’t object and if it turned into something more, that would be even better, no - it would be amazing! He nodded to himself definitively, if he didn’t ask the question then the answer would always be no. This way, even if he got shot down, he’d have a 50/50 shot.
“Remind me why I’m driving your ass back to Dublin?” Sebastian drawled to his roommate.
“Please Seb, don’t start. It’s been a long day” Kurt said quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Thank you for picking me up. I didn’t want Finn to have to drive me home and then turn around and go all the way back again.”
“But it’s OK for me to do that? Gee, thanks Sweetcheeks” Sebastian griped.
“Yeah but at least I know that you got to sleep in this morning whereas Finn didn’t. He was at the hospital with me and Carole when they came to get Dad” Kurt protested tiredly.
“How is he anyway? I’m surprised he went into surgery so early this morning” Sebastian asked, concerned.
“Mmm, they had to postpone someone else so they prepped Dad instead. He’s doing better. Just before you arrived, he was awake for a bit and had some juice meal thing” Kurt mumbled.
“A ‘juice meal thing’? Right... Just close your eyes Kurt, you’re obviously tired. You’re allowed to sleep while I’m driving. I promise not to crash your car.”
“If I sleep now, I won’t be able to sleep when we get home” he muttered.
“I wouldn’t count on that. You look a bit zombie-like with those bags under your eyes. I think you’ll sleep like the dead as soon as you head hits the pillow” the younger man teased.
Kurt rolled his head over to look at his roommate’s silhouette. “Stop being mean and entertain me” he said pouting.
“You know who else I saw that was zombie-like today?” Sebastian teased as Kurt shook his head. “Your little friend. Blaine, is it?”
“Blaine?” Kurt perked up a little. “Where - where did you see him?” he tried to say nonchalantly but failed miserably.
Sebastian smirked. “At our usual brunch place. He was with some other guy though. An older guy, maybe your age? Quite the looker too. Killer light blue eyes.”
Kurt frowned as he mulled over his roommate’s observations. “How do you know what color his eyes were?”
“Oh I went over and said hi to Blaine. I could have sworn I knew the guy from somewhere though. He seemed really familiar.”
As an afterthought he added, “It turned out he was a model or something and I’d seen him in a magazine.”
“Really?” Kurt said doubtfully.
“Uh-huh. A regular Disney prince so it would seem. It wasn’t ‘til he stood up that I realized just how broad and tall he was. He kinda dwarfed your shy schoolboy. They left together before karaoke even started, completely missing my....”
Kurt’s tired brain whirled into gear as Sebastian waffled on about his self-proclaimed flawless rendition of “I Never Do Anything Twice”. Was Blaine seeing someone else? Of course he was! He was wonderful and gorgeous and wonderful and sexy as hell and did I mention wonderful?
Kurt gazed out the window into the darkness surrounding them as the conversation died away. The wintery weather might have calmed down but Kurt’s mind was racing faster than the wind had been earlier. Blaine’s only sixteen for goodness sakes. It’s not like we can be boyfriends, right? I’ve got ten years on him. His family would flip out if they knew. Hell, my family would flip out! And who says that Blaine even wants that? Maybe Kurt’s just a quick fuck on a Saturday so he can get on with the rest of his weekend?!
He closed his eyes and thought about the way Blaine looked at him. No, those eyes weren’t sparkling with ‘I just got my rocks off and it feels good, baby’. He was certain that it was more than that. Which poses a whole new problem...he’d taken Blaine’s virginity, he was sure of it. God, they haven’t even talked about it, Kurt thought guiltily. And who doesn’t leave even a tiny bit of their heart with their first partner?
Kurt worried his teeth on his lower lip, biting haphazardly. Blaine might think he’s in love when really it’s something less romantic but just as intense. Infatuation is real. Lust is real. Those things can tangle your heart up as much as love and it’s not until the dust of time settles that you can even distinguish one from the other. Especially as a teenager. God, he remembers those days. He fell head over heels constantly but looking back, every high school crush was an infatuation and every new partner in college was lust. Love had only ever come along once and that short-lived relationship with the aptly named Chase had seemed doomed from the start. He may have been Kurt’s first but it seemed that all Kurt did was chase after his love before finally being able to let him go. After waving him off at the subway the morning of Chase’s interview at Vogue.com, things were never the same and their relationship crumbled quickly as they were pulled in different directions.
He knows that he can’t stop Blaine from ever getting hurt but to stand there and ask for his heart, his trust, his love? Well, that responsibility feels too big for him to handle right now. They need to talk, he decides. It can’t go on the way it has been. He’d felt badly enough the last time, encouraging Blaine to make another appointment just so he could see him again. Someone’s going to get hurt either way and it’s better to sort things out sooner rather than later. It might mean the difference between bruising his ego and breaking his heart.
Monday dragged by slowly. The thought of waiting until Saturday before being able to speak to Blaine weighed on Kurt heavily. Then Carole had rung to update him on his father’s progress. The new drain they’d put in had become blocked and it’d torn while they were trying to clear it. It means yet another surgery. Kurt’s stomach roiled with anxiety. How many more times can his dad withstand general anesthetic before his heart gives out?
He plods through the rest of the day disregarding Sebastian’s burst of energy that morning. Kurt had committed himself to going along tonight to his roommate’s classroom presentation for the upcoming Festival at the Campus Center Theater in Westerville but right now he just wants to crawl into bed and sleep forever.
Ridiculously it’s 4 o’clock before the highlight of his day strikes. Mr. Rosenberg called to cancel his appointment at 5.30pm on Tuesday. It’s not until Lydia asks if he knows of anyone wanting an earlier appointment that he thinks of Blaine again.
“Hang on; I’ll just check if we’ve got a phone number for him in the system” Lydia trills.
“Yep, here it is! You wanna make the call?” she asks offering him the reception phone. “On second thought, you might wanna help out Mrs. Allenby. I think she’s caught in the front door again.”
Lydia frowns as she watches Kurt rush over to her aid. “Oh hello, Blaine? Yes, this is Lydia...”
Kurt tries to watch Lydia’s face as she’s on the phone while he untangles Mrs. Allenby from the door handle. With the handbag wrestled back into submission, he helps her towards the therapy rooms as Lydia flashes a thumbs up signal to him before hanging up the phone and staring intently at the computer. His heart thumps in time to his internal fist pump. Yes!
Blaine can’t believe his luck. Today at the early Warblers practice he’d been asked to be the group’s lead soloist. Yesterday, he came out to his older brother without incident. In fact, they felt closer than ever. And then, after having made the decision to pursue Kurt outside of the spa but knowing he’d have to wait a week; he’d gotten a call to come in on Tuesday instead, which was all kinds of awesome! Now he just had to sweet talk his Mom into lending him her car tomorrow and practice what he was going to say to Kurt.
Part 5b