Going Under (You can read this one!)
Title: Going Under
Supernatural Fandom, GenFic, Episode Filler.
This is meta, disguised as fic. It's how I see Sam during 114 Nightmare
Suggested "Mood Music": Coldplay's Don't Panic or Evanessence's Save Me
GOING UNDER
It's said when a person drowns, they come up 3 times. A divine number. If the person drowning can defeat three waves, the universe will give humanity the chance to save one of its own. You can save them. If you can reach them in time.
First Wave
The chaos began in his sleep. Sam was awake and moving. He just had to do something.
I'm not a freak. I'm not crazy. Denial. Concern. He thought there was doubt in Dean's eyes.
Why would you have premonitions about some random dude in Michigan?
I don't know.
The confirmation came through. Dean finally drove faster. It was still too late.
Suicide. He knew it was wrong. He couldn't let it go. Something had done this and made him watch.
Dean came over. Always there. Just not quick enough.
He was murdered by something, Dean. It trapped him in the garage.
Like what? A spirit, a ghost, a poltergeist?
I don't know what it was. I don't know why I'm having these dreams. I don't know what the hell is happening, Dean.
The fear began to churn. What?
Nothing, man. I'm just worried about you.
Well, don't look at me like that. The anger began to rise.
I'm not looking at you like anything. Though I gotta say you look like crap.
Nice. Thanks.
Work the problem. The hunter's approach. Dean already had a plan. Sam followed along. The familiarity helped push the chaos, fear and anger back to the corners of his mind.
Second Wave
The chaos swirled.
Dean, I'm scared man. These nightmares weren't enough, now I'm seeing things when I'm awake? And these visions - this bond to the darkness, tears formed in his voice - or whatever are getting more intense, more painful. The fear rose.
Come on, man. You'll be alright. You'll be fine.
What is it about the Millers? Why am I connected to them? Why am I watching them die?
I don't know, Sam, but we'll figure it out okay?
The anger reached the surface. Why the hell is this happening to me?
Hollow reassurances. I could die the next time and all he has are hollow reassurances. Sam looked away.
We face the unexplainable every single day. This is just another thing.
The anger boiled. "Just another thing?!" He wasn't the one whose head was exploding every time. It wasn't just another thing. Was he that blind?
No. It's never been us. It's never been in the family like this. Tell me the truth. You can't tell me this doesn't freak you out.
Dean took a moment to process it. Sam had seen it a million times. "A Wendigo this far east?" ... "A vengeful spirt in the water pipes?" ... "In a mirror? Using other mirrors?" All the things they hunted. All the "rules" they made and broke. Dean finally shrugged. His voice was firm. His gaze steady on the road. Sam watched his brother.
This doesn't freak me out.
He's lying. He must be lying. Sam watched Dean's face for a moment. Maybe he wasn't. Sam watched Dean until the chaos, fear and anger subsided.
Third Wave
The chaos swirled.
It was Max. Max, of the haunted stares and torn childhood, was someone like Sam. Sam wasn't alone. Max was just like him. He couldn't let him do this. He remembered his father's last message. "There are others." Max was one of the others.
I'm sorry. Sam felt himself punched and he flew into the closet. This was not happening.
No! The fear grew. Sam pounded on the door. The vision hit. Dean flying into the wall. Dean getting up and being a hero. His blood splattered on the wall. His stunned body collapsed to the floor. The anger overwhelmed.
No. NOOO! And the chaos, fear and anger solidified. He felt a third arm and hand. He curled it into a fist and punched instinctively. Something gave way. The dresser moved. Don't think. Save Dean. You cannot lose Dean. Sam ran. Dean was saved.
Max was not.
Saved
Why would this demon whatever it is why would it kill Mom and Jessica and Max's mother, what does it want?
No idea.
Well, you think maybe it was after us?
Why would you think that?
I mean, wither telekenisis or premonitions, we both had abilities you know? Maybe it was after us for some reason... Sam was rather proud of how calm he sounded. After Max ... and me?
Dean shook his head and said No. Sam if it wanted you it would have just taken you. This is not your fault. This is not about you.
Sam wanted to believe him. Then what is it about?
It's about that damned thing that did this to our family.The thing that we're gonna find and the thing that we're going to kill and that's all. The faith is his brother's voice was calming. But Sam knew more.
Actually there's something else too.
Oh jeez, what?
As if this were all just a mere annoyance and nothing important. It let Sam go on.
When Max locked me in that closet with that big cabinet against the door... I moved it...
But Dean missed the point and praised his strength... and did he just mock his upper body strength? Focus, Sam, he doesn't understand.
No, man, I moved it like ... Max.
And trust Dean to immediately try to quantify it.
I saw you die and it came out of me like a punch, like a freak adreniline thing. He watched Dean process it. And brush it off. Didn't he get it?
Aren't you worried I could turn into Max or something? There. I said it. Because I'm like Max. I'm the same. All the chaos, fear and anger are here. Sam didn't want to look at Dean.
Nope. No way. You know why?
No why?
Because you have one advantage Max didn't have.
Dad? Because Dad's not here, Dean. Or hadn't you noticed?
No. Me. As long as I'm around, nothing bad is going to happen to you.
A truth known since childhood. A tenet of Sam's faith in the universe. Even though it flew in the face of all logic, it bannished the shadows in Sam's mind. For the moment, he believed. For the moment, he could let his big brother watch and protect him from things that were unseen and unstoppable.
Because he was Dean. And he was always there when Sam needed him. A small sad smile began to appear.
Now, I know what we need to do about your premonitions. I know where we have to go.
Where? Because Dean would know.
And the mocking smirk appeared. Vegas.
Sam blinked for a moment. And just like that, Dean was his brother again. The person he would die for while wanting to strangle. A goofball and hero. And Sam felt normal again and left the chaos, fear and anger behind.
Unseen, Dean stared into the darkness of the hotel room. He silently dared the chaos, fear and anger to follow them. You can't have my brother, you bastard. You can't have him.
Supernatural Fandom, GenFic, Episode Filler.
This is meta, disguised as fic. It's how I see Sam during 114 Nightmare
Suggested "Mood Music": Coldplay's Don't Panic or Evanessence's Save Me
GOING UNDER
It's said when a person drowns, they come up 3 times. A divine number. If the person drowning can defeat three waves, the universe will give humanity the chance to save one of its own. You can save them. If you can reach them in time.
First Wave
The chaos began in his sleep. Sam was awake and moving. He just had to do something.
I'm not a freak. I'm not crazy. Denial. Concern. He thought there was doubt in Dean's eyes.
Why would you have premonitions about some random dude in Michigan?
I don't know.
The confirmation came through. Dean finally drove faster. It was still too late.
Suicide. He knew it was wrong. He couldn't let it go. Something had done this and made him watch.
Dean came over. Always there. Just not quick enough.
He was murdered by something, Dean. It trapped him in the garage.
Like what? A spirit, a ghost, a poltergeist?
I don't know what it was. I don't know why I'm having these dreams. I don't know what the hell is happening, Dean.
The fear began to churn. What?
Nothing, man. I'm just worried about you.
Well, don't look at me like that. The anger began to rise.
I'm not looking at you like anything. Though I gotta say you look like crap.
Nice. Thanks.
Work the problem. The hunter's approach. Dean already had a plan. Sam followed along. The familiarity helped push the chaos, fear and anger back to the corners of his mind.
Second Wave
The chaos swirled.
Dean, I'm scared man. These nightmares weren't enough, now I'm seeing things when I'm awake? And these visions - this bond to the darkness, tears formed in his voice - or whatever are getting more intense, more painful. The fear rose.
Come on, man. You'll be alright. You'll be fine.
What is it about the Millers? Why am I connected to them? Why am I watching them die?
I don't know, Sam, but we'll figure it out okay?
The anger reached the surface. Why the hell is this happening to me?
Hollow reassurances. I could die the next time and all he has are hollow reassurances. Sam looked away.
We face the unexplainable every single day. This is just another thing.
The anger boiled. "Just another thing?!" He wasn't the one whose head was exploding every time. It wasn't just another thing. Was he that blind?
No. It's never been us. It's never been in the family like this. Tell me the truth. You can't tell me this doesn't freak you out.
Dean took a moment to process it. Sam had seen it a million times. "A Wendigo this far east?" ... "A vengeful spirt in the water pipes?" ... "In a mirror? Using other mirrors?" All the things they hunted. All the "rules" they made and broke. Dean finally shrugged. His voice was firm. His gaze steady on the road. Sam watched his brother.
This doesn't freak me out.
He's lying. He must be lying. Sam watched Dean's face for a moment. Maybe he wasn't. Sam watched Dean until the chaos, fear and anger subsided.
Third Wave
The chaos swirled.
It was Max. Max, of the haunted stares and torn childhood, was someone like Sam. Sam wasn't alone. Max was just like him. He couldn't let him do this. He remembered his father's last message. "There are others." Max was one of the others.
I'm sorry. Sam felt himself punched and he flew into the closet. This was not happening.
No! The fear grew. Sam pounded on the door. The vision hit. Dean flying into the wall. Dean getting up and being a hero. His blood splattered on the wall. His stunned body collapsed to the floor. The anger overwhelmed.
No. NOOO! And the chaos, fear and anger solidified. He felt a third arm and hand. He curled it into a fist and punched instinctively. Something gave way. The dresser moved. Don't think. Save Dean. You cannot lose Dean. Sam ran. Dean was saved.
Max was not.
Saved
Why would this demon whatever it is why would it kill Mom and Jessica and Max's mother, what does it want?
No idea.
Well, you think maybe it was after us?
Why would you think that?
I mean, wither telekenisis or premonitions, we both had abilities you know? Maybe it was after us for some reason... Sam was rather proud of how calm he sounded. After Max ... and me?
Dean shook his head and said No. Sam if it wanted you it would have just taken you. This is not your fault. This is not about you.
Sam wanted to believe him. Then what is it about?
It's about that damned thing that did this to our family.The thing that we're gonna find and the thing that we're going to kill and that's all. The faith is his brother's voice was calming. But Sam knew more.
Actually there's something else too.
Oh jeez, what?
As if this were all just a mere annoyance and nothing important. It let Sam go on.
When Max locked me in that closet with that big cabinet against the door... I moved it...
But Dean missed the point and praised his strength... and did he just mock his upper body strength? Focus, Sam, he doesn't understand.
No, man, I moved it like ... Max.
And trust Dean to immediately try to quantify it.
I saw you die and it came out of me like a punch, like a freak adreniline thing. He watched Dean process it. And brush it off. Didn't he get it?
Aren't you worried I could turn into Max or something? There. I said it. Because I'm like Max. I'm the same. All the chaos, fear and anger are here. Sam didn't want to look at Dean.
Nope. No way. You know why?
No why?
Because you have one advantage Max didn't have.
Dad? Because Dad's not here, Dean. Or hadn't you noticed?
No. Me. As long as I'm around, nothing bad is going to happen to you.
A truth known since childhood. A tenet of Sam's faith in the universe. Even though it flew in the face of all logic, it bannished the shadows in Sam's mind. For the moment, he believed. For the moment, he could let his big brother watch and protect him from things that were unseen and unstoppable.
Because he was Dean. And he was always there when Sam needed him. A small sad smile began to appear.
Now, I know what we need to do about your premonitions. I know where we have to go.
Where? Because Dean would know.
And the mocking smirk appeared. Vegas.
Sam blinked for a moment. And just like that, Dean was his brother again. The person he would die for while wanting to strangle. A goofball and hero. And Sam felt normal again and left the chaos, fear and anger behind.
Unseen, Dean stared into the darkness of the hotel room. He silently dared the chaos, fear and anger to follow them. You can't have my brother, you bastard. You can't have him.