A Depressive Insomniac's Disordered Thoughts

[ghymoreid]

Two inches.

Two.
Inches.

Two inches, and it's keeping me awake.
(Insert ex-husband joke here.)

What's the old riddle about a Shakespeare play?
Two inches?
Much Ado About NothingBut it isn't nothing

Comments

[z_dragonmaster]

I'm not sure if you're in the mood to hear from me, so feel free to ignore if you'd like. This topic interests me at the moment, because since coming to Japan, I've done nothing but gain weight. The stories I've heard have been "men who come to Japan lose weight, women who come to Japan gain weight" and so far it's been true. Since being here, pants that originally fit me over here, I can no longer squeeze into, and I've tried! I've noticably grown, to the point where other pairs of pants are threatening to not allow me in them anymore.

And yet I still eat all the delicious stuff. Why?

Because I actually enjoy these changes. I've always been thin, and so growing like this is really fascinating and exciting. This fear that I suppose I'm meant to be feeling, I'm not feeling it. Maybe I will. But so far I enjoy exploring the rolls and the new creases and the new things I can grab. I think it's a shame there is so much pressure to be stick figure thin.

I understand it isn't completely on topic, but thought I'd share my personal

[ghymoreid]

If I hadn't lost so much weight over the last two years (through the mentioned nausea and lack of appetite which is being blamed on Lupus - I did not in any way make a conscious effort), it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. When I was getting bigger I had some initial anxiety, but was able to squash it pretty easily by remembering that I'm sick, I'm in pain and I'm on about half a dozen drugs which list "weight gain" as a side effect.

Losing weight (over 30 kilos) has triggered this. That plus absolutely everybody telling me how Great! I look, and how healthy I must be and how much better my joints are obviously coping because I'm moving better - I'm moving better because I'm on more effective painkillers now and actually my right knee has deteriorated to the point where I've had to drop out of my university course because it's so unstable I'm physically incapable of completing some of the required elements. Oh, and I have lupus, rheumatoid arthritis and strangely enough still feel the effects of that pesky genetic condition,

[twitchfetish]

It's about balance rex. It's not what's "good" or "bad" or "fat" or "thin". Your weight loss was a good thing BECAUSE YOU WERE HAPPY ABOUT IT (albeit not the method thereby). Gaining back 2 inches is only a bad thing BECAUSE YOU'RE UNHAPPY ABOUT IT.

Everything comes down to state of mind. You've moved to a great place, you're with a wonderful man (for fuckin once) and your life is ticking over, if not daisies and sparkles.

Your weight will fluctuate. You're a woman. It happens.

As for what's good and not regarding the EDS, joints etc? Again - balance. Being as big as you were was damaging some joints. Losing weight has exacerbated a problem with another joint. Find the middle ground where you're curvy enough to be sexy in yours and your husband's eyes, but not so big it causes problems, and not so small you collapse in a heap :P

*hugs*

T

[siouxsyn]

That's a good way of looking at things.

My partner needs extra weight when his knees hurt but he can't put on weight. So he carries a backpack when it gets too much.
He was a great gymnast, but he couldn't compete because the way his knees bend isn't aesthetic enough.

Joints are weird, and so are expectations.

[brockulfsen]

All I can do is offer sympathy and point out that your personality is so awesome it eclipses you physical form both in it's positives and negatives.

You are you no matter what your mass.

Be well
(or as well as you can)

[ghymoreids_mum]

"What's the old riddle about a Shakespeare play?
Two inches?
Much Ado About Nothing."

Marriage
Miscarriage
2 inches
6 inches
10 inches
Wet
Dry

"Do you kick-start jumbo jets in your spare time?"
I thought that was Margaret Whitlam?

*hugs*

[ser_kai]

*hugs*

[dragarnuss]

*cuddles*