award winning creepy break up letterxixi21August 13 2008, 01:55:52 UTC
Dear Pretend Lover, These last three days of our relationship in Wal-mart have been the most amazing days of my life that I will treasure forever. We spent so much time in the camping aisle talking about the orgasmic tents and then we went to the food aisle to talk about sensual s'mores. Man, those melted in your melt. Oh! Don't forget the time we spent individually watching each other ride on the 1ct. pony. That was super hot.
The times have been great, but now, it's time for me to go on to bigger and better things. I need to upgrade, like the tampons so please don't call me. I've disconnected my cell phone, my blackberry, my tv, my fax machine, my internet, my email, and any other electronic device so you can just forget about me. FOREVER.
<3 Your three day lover
P.S. Please don't ever go to Meijers on 1234 Jolly Rd. Lansing, MI I've claimed that territory.
Re: award winning creepy break up letterghetto_bridgetAugust 13 2008, 15:57:24 UTC
Dear Lovah Abominable Sack of Poo:
This is to inform you that you may no longer go be within 5 yards of my presence because I am just too awesome for you to handle. Also, that prank with the sour cream packets and tampon rockets was just not cool. Especially since you put red marker all over them. I hope it was red marker...
You may also no longer ride the 1ct. purple dinosaur at "our Meijer" since it has now become MY Meijer and that restraining order extends to that specific dinosaur. I might just have it removed because I won't be able to stand the sight of it and the constant reminder of all the fun we had on it before the pennies ran out and the fact that you destroyed my entire life with that llama stunt.
Comments 2
These last three days of our relationship in Wal-mart have been the most amazing days of my life that I will treasure forever. We spent so much time in the camping aisle talking about the orgasmic tents and then we went to the food aisle to talk about sensual s'mores. Man, those melted in your melt. Oh! Don't forget the time we spent individually watching each other ride on the 1ct. pony. That was super hot.
The times have been great, but now, it's time for me to go on to bigger and better things. I need to upgrade, like the tampons so please don't call me. I've disconnected my cell phone, my blackberry, my tv, my fax machine, my internet, my email, and any other electronic device so you can just forget about me. FOREVER.
<3 Your three day lover
P.S. Please don't ever go to Meijers on 1234 Jolly Rd. Lansing, MI
I've claimed that territory.
Reply
This is to inform you that you may no longer go be within 5 yards of my presence because I am just too awesome for you to handle. Also, that prank with the sour cream packets and tampon rockets was just not cool. Especially since you put red marker all over them. I hope it was red marker...
You may also no longer ride the 1ct. purple dinosaur at "our Meijer" since it has now become MY Meijer and that restraining order extends to that specific dinosaur. I might just have it removed because I won't be able to stand the sight of it and the constant reminder of all the fun we had on it before the pennies ran out and the fact that you destroyed my entire life with that llama stunt.
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THE RADISHES.
Hearts always.
Reply
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