I want to be a well read book...
I was writing a letter to a friend and had this discovery while describing my past relationship with my now ex-husband. There was a lot more in the letter, but this is the epiphany I had that astounded me...
~~~~~~~~~~~~letter excerpt~~~~~~~~
He got me to drive in the Metroplex, which I said I would never do, and he took me around and showed me lots of neat things and took me away from Laramie, at which point I did things I said I would never do:1. Leave Laramie 2. Leave Wyoming and 3. Get Married. So OK, I didn't die as a result. I am managing to survive, and maybe thrive on some levels. But notice that I thrive only away from him.
I loved that swept up feeling, and he loved thinking he rescued me from a life in a small town with not much going on in it.
It was after I got here, got a job and started paying bills, started expecting it to be more of a partnership and less of a conquering knight with his prize that he lost interest. He likes the falling in love, but has no clue what to do next.
I realize that I felt like a book he found, wanted rather intensely when it was in the bookstore and then took home and never read.
I don't want to be an unread book. I want to be read and explored and notes taken in my margins and reread again and again, rediscovered and enjoyed, forgotten parts delighted in and fond memories of the good parts reignited.I want to be devoured and consumed and then do it all over again, just like a favourite book, well loved and treasured and kept. I want a librarian, not a collector. A librarian knows the books, treasures them and seeks them. A collector just acquires, and then puts them under glass and never opens them to explore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~letter excerpt~~~~~~~~
He got me to drive in the Metroplex, which I said I would never do, and he took me around and showed me lots of neat things and took me away from Laramie, at which point I did things I said I would never do:1. Leave Laramie 2. Leave Wyoming and 3. Get Married. So OK, I didn't die as a result. I am managing to survive, and maybe thrive on some levels. But notice that I thrive only away from him.
I loved that swept up feeling, and he loved thinking he rescued me from a life in a small town with not much going on in it.
It was after I got here, got a job and started paying bills, started expecting it to be more of a partnership and less of a conquering knight with his prize that he lost interest. He likes the falling in love, but has no clue what to do next.
I realize that I felt like a book he found, wanted rather intensely when it was in the bookstore and then took home and never read.
I don't want to be an unread book. I want to be read and explored and notes taken in my margins and reread again and again, rediscovered and enjoyed, forgotten parts delighted in and fond memories of the good parts reignited.I want to be devoured and consumed and then do it all over again, just like a favourite book, well loved and treasured and kept. I want a librarian, not a collector. A librarian knows the books, treasures them and seeks them. A collector just acquires, and then puts them under glass and never opens them to explore.