The Weight Of Water
The Weight Of Water
Chapter Three
Word Count: 3790
Story Summary: Implied George/Alex. The aftermath of the ferry disaster. George and Alex in the morgue taking pictures, the rest is completely AU as Alex must cope with personal tragedy and the emotional fall out of the crash.
Chapter Summary: Miranda Bailey’s POV. No real George/Alex til the end but it sets it up for the next chapter which will have a lot more (I think!).
XXXX
Miranda Bailey rounded the corner sharply and stepped into the bustling emergency department, almost colliding with a nurse who was backing a resuscitation cart out of a curtained triage cubicle.
‘Olivia, have you seen Dr. Karev?’
‘No, not since he went to lunch, though I’d have thought he’d be back by now. Probably got a better offer to scrub in on something…’ she trailed off with a grin before continuing on her way.
Miranda very much doubted that to be the case. Prior to his arrival that morning she had gathered the other residents and attendings and expressly forbidden them from paging him for anything let alone something surgical. She was fairly certain they had received her message loud and clear and not many people, arrogant surgical specialists included, dared to disobey Miranda Bailey. Besides she had also indicated to him under no uncertain terms that he wasn’t to do anything even remotely medical without her express permission. He had acquiesced without so much as questioning why, a fact Miranda had been pleased about this morning but now, in his absence, was beginning to question.
She decided to give him two more minutes to respond to her second page. As those one hundred and twenty seconds ticked by in seemingly slow motion Miranda began to re-asses her decision to allow him to come back to work without first being cleared by psych. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how traumatic the last two weeks had been for him and even she was aware enough to know that the majority of his arrogant, cocky persona was simply a front to convince people he was fine. If she was honest with herself he had looked anything by fine this morning compared to his usual appearance but at the time she had simply passed it off as exhaustion and not thought about it again. Now, as an unidentifiable feeling of dread began to descend, she wished she’d been a little more attentive.
The two minutes elapsed without a response and she made her way to the cafeteria to firstly make sure he wasn’t still there with his friends. The lunch rush had passed by the time she pushed the double doors open and entered, making it easy for her to deduce he had definitely left. She could see Christina was just making he way out, the only one of her ‘lot’ left, and she approached to ask casually if she had seen Alex at all.
‘Yeah, he was here for lunch…but he left ages ago…in a big hurry,’ Christina replied, ‘Actually he said he was late to meet you…’
Christina trailed off, a hint of confusion on her face as Miranda suddenly felt a strange need to cover for him, at least until she knew where he was…then all bets would be off.
‘Yes, that’s right, I sent him to do something but he seems to have disappeared. Doesn’t matter. I’ll page him,’ she lied effortlessly and turned to continue her search.
Ten minutes later and there was still no sign of him. She had even barged into a few of the more prominent men’s bathrooms, much to the chagrin of a couple of her male colleagues who had turned their backs quickly, yelling for her to leave.
‘Trust me…boys,’ she started, mockingly, ‘you ain’t got nothing that could shock me,’ before adding surreptitiously, ‘Dr. Karev in here?’
He wasn’t and she was fast running out of places to check.
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The closer she got to the intern’s locker room the more strangely certain she became that she had discovered his hiding place. So convinced she was that when she pushed the door open and found it echoingly empty she turned to leave again before stopping and returning for another look. It was on this second entry to the apparently deserted room that she noticed the spattering of red droplets on the floor at her feet. She bent for a closer inspection and it was from this lowered position that she discovered a trail of similar drops that started somewhere out in the hall and traversed the locker room to the door on the other side. The showers.
Miranda stood, unable to quell the sudden sense of unease that caused her pulse to quicken and the room to feel suffocatingly hot. She had taken ten tentative steps towards the door before the distinctive sound of running water became clearer. She hurried to cover the remaining distance and flung the swinging door open with excessive force.
‘Alex?’
She received no reply but the running water was coming from the far end stall, the flimsy plastic shower curtain pulled across but the water spilling out from underneath it to pool on the tiles at her feet. For a split second Miranda found she was totally incapable of opening the curtain, of revealing who or what was behind it. She bent instead, placing two fingers into the puddle at her feet for a reason she couldn’t explain. The water was freezing and that coupled with the fact that there was no steam had her suddenly doubting there was anyone in there at all. The idea that the stall was empty was all it took for Miranda to be able to pull the dark material aside. The curtain was three quarters open and her hand outstretched to shut off the offending tap before she noticed the stall was occupied.
She jumped back in panic, one hand over her mouth in a desperate attempt to muffle the unintentional scream, her other hand behind her, trapped between her back and the frigid tile.
‘Alex?’
The sight of him was even more terrifying than the initial shock of finding someone there at all He was crouched into a ball, knees brought up to his chest and forehead tipped so that his face was completely obscured from view. The full force of the freezing cold water was pounding into the back of his neck; he was fully clothed and completely saturated. His left arm was wrapped around his shins, white, bloodless fingers bunched in the material of his scrub pants. His right and lay curled on the icy tiles beside him and for the first time Miranda noticed the exposed knuckles and white flaps of skin that would redden momentarily before the next splash of water cleaned his blood away and swirled it down the drain.
Jerking back into action, Miranda extended her arm flinchingly through the freezing shower stream to the blood-smeared tap and twisted the handle violently, shutting off the flow. Her eyes focused in on the bloody handprints that adorned the pristine white tiles higher up than the water had been able to reach and wash away.
Deliberately clenching her eyes tightly shut before re-focusing her attention and opening them again, Miranda knelt directly in front of an ominously still and silent Alex, the pooled water immediately soaking the knees of her scrub pants and again the icy temperature threatened to take her breath away.
‘Alex?’ she almost shouted, the sound of her voice reverberating loudly throughout the tiled room. Receiving no response she clamped one hand on either side of his face and tilted his head back onto the tile behind him. His eyes were closed his eyelids almost transparent and his long, dark lashes clumped together with tiny droplets of water clinging to their ends. His lips were slightly parted and a disturbing shade of lilac blue which had Miranda immediately reaching a hand forward to feel for a pulse. His skin seemed as cold as the water that surrounded them but Miranda released the breath she had been holding when she felt the beat of blood under her fingers. It wasn’t strong enough and it definitely wasn’t anywhere near fast enough but it would do for now.
She contemplated leaving him there for a moment to get help when the sound of laughter out in the locker room broke through the frozen silence. Waiting another beat until she felt the reassuring pump of blood under her fingers again, she stood quickly and marched back to the door. Flinging it open she was relieved to find Meredith standing, facing her, laughing with someone whose back was to Miranda but whose long black curls were enough to identify her. Meredith was mid-way through removing her scrub top, a brown stain from what Miranda hoped was coffee but knew from personal experience could be a myriad of other things covered the front and she stopped with it half off as Miranda appeared in the doorway.
‘Dr. Bailey?’ she asked in a confused tone as Christina spun to gaze at her also, quite obviously taken aback by her wet knees and splashed torso.
‘Grey, I need you in here, bring all the towels you can find, get them out of lockers, anything I don’t care. Yang, I need you to get a gurney and an oxygen kit…now,’ she added harshly as they both continued to stare back at her like she was speaking a foreign language.
Christina nodded sharply and Meredith quickly slipped the remainder of the way out of her soiled scrub top.
‘…And gauze Yang…lots of gauze,’ Miranda added loudly, suddenly remembering Alex’s mutilated hand.
She turned then and left the doorway as suddenly as she had appeared in it, returning hurriedly to the hunched figure in the end stall. Alex was largely in the same position she had left him in, though his left hand had relaxed its grip on his scrubs and was now mirroring the curled position of his damaged right hand. The fact that he wasn’t shivering worried Miranda more than his obvious injuries and she was just finishing a basic heart rate reading when the door to the shower stalls burst open and she heard Meredith call her name.
‘I’m down here,’ she answered, briefly poking one hand out so that Meredith could see it before returning her attention to Alex.
‘Bring the towels with you.’
‘I found about six, will that be eno…’ Meredith’s voiced trailed off as Miranda felt her presence stiffen behind her.
‘Oh God…is…oh God…Dr. Bailey?’
‘Grey, do not freak out on me. I need your help so you cannot freak out.’
She heard Meredith take a deep shuddering breath, obviously steeling herself to assist.
‘Okay…’ she signed breathily, kneeling beside Miranda in the cold puddles.
‘Jesus, it’s freezing…’ she proclaimed unnecessarily.
‘I’m well aware of that Grey, we need to get him out of here, out of these clothes. Heart rates about 37, resp’s equally low but I couldn’t get an accurate idea, I’d say about 5 or 6. Watch his right arm, I haven’t had a chance to check out how bad that is yet.’
The clattering out in the locker room announced Christina’s reappearance with the gurney and Miranda nodded to Meredith to go and get the supplies.
‘Tell Christina to stand at the door. She’s not to let anyone in. I mean anyone, under any circumstances and tell her to page the Chief down here.’
Meredith nodded before jogging to the doorway, her rubber soled shoes squeaking painfully on the shiny tiles as Miranda turned her attention back to Alex, lifting his eyelids one at a time to check his reaction to light.
‘Oh Alex,’ she whispered, running a hand over his cold, pale cheek while her eyes lowered to his mutilated right hand, ‘what on Earth have you done to yourself?’
The squeak of her shoes altered Miranda to Meredith’s return and she popped her head out to see what she was bringing with her. She was pleased to note the bottle of oxygen she was wheeling with her right hand and the bag of supplies that dangled from her left, bouncing off her knee with every forward motion.
‘Did you tell Chris…’
‘Yes,’ she cut Miranda off. ‘Trust me, no one but the Chief will be getting past Christina.’
XXXX
Waiting for the Chief to arrive Miranda and Meredith had managed, with a great degree of difficulty, to shift Alex from the cold, tiled shower stall and out into the relative warmth of the locker room. Had he been conscious Miranda was certain he would have protested their improvised carry technique loudly. They had also managed, with the help of some sharp scissors, to remove his sodden scrub top and pants and had wrapped him in the towels Meredith had pilfered from the open lockers. Meredith had then slid in behind him on the floor and had wrapped her own tiny body around his back in an attempt to warm him up leaving Miranda to concentrate on his mangled fist. Away from the water and with his core temperature slowly rising the blood was beginning to flow more freely again, making it difficult to get an accurate idea of the extent of the damage.
Finally conceding there was little they could do until they had him moved, she had simply wrapped it in gauze and strapped a crisp, white bandage over the top, hoping to minimise the chance of infection but knowing the damage would have already been done by the millions of germs festering in the shower stalls.
By the time the Chief finally did arrive Alex was shivering violently and beginning to regain consciousness; murmured, nonsensical verbalisation’s their first clue.
‘Alex? Can you hear me?’ she asked quietly while the Chief busied himself making phone calls to have a room set up and a x-ray booked. Within five minutes of his arrival all the arrangements had been made and they were almost ready to call Christina into the room to help them lift him up gently onto the gurney.
Alex’s eyelids fluttered open at Miranda’s words before closing again but it was enough for her to detect the un-focused emptiness that filled them.
‘Alex? It’s Dr. Bailey…Meredith’s here too…can you open your eyes for me?’
Alex groaned and shifted his position on the floor slightly, causing one towel to slide away which Meredith quickly moved to re-position.
‘Christina, can you get me the jacket he has in his locker?’ Meredith asked, but looked to Miranda as if asking her permission to act.
Alex’s eyes opened half way again only this time they remained that way, punctuated only by slow methodical blinking.
‘Alex? Do you know where you are?’
He was shivering uncontrollably still as Meredith ran a hand vigorously up and down his left upper arm, avoiding the now bandaged right appendage.
His response was to blink vaguely again and to shift his attention somewhere over her shoulder.
‘George?’
‘Alex, it’s Mer…George is here but we’re looking after you okay? Christina’s he…’
‘George?’
There was more panic in the repeated question and Miranda suddenly realised that things could get out of hand quite quickly here.
‘Alex, it’s Dr. Bailey. You’ve hurt you’re hand so you need to stay still for me okay? George isn’t here but he’s coming,’ she lied, ‘you can see him as soon as we get you fixed up.’
Alex’s head lolled to the right, almost colliding with Meredith’s as she peered at Miranda over his shoulder, to look dazedly at his bandaged hand.
‘Hurts…’ he groaned again, louder this time and a little more certain sounding, like he had figured out where the pain was coming from and felt compelled to complain about it.
‘Chief? What do you think?’ Miranda looked questioningly at Richard, wanting desperately for him to have all the answers and to know how to fix this because for all her calm authority, Miranda had no idea what her next move should be.
‘Well, radiology’s on stand-by but I want to have a look at it first, clean it up a bit…’ Richard leaned in closer to Miranda, ‘…psych’s waiting too…just in case…what do you think?’
Miranda sighed and closed her eyes, she had been dreading this moment and had been thankful she had so far not needed to think of the correct response.
‘Well, he seems…’
Miranda looked down at Alex, his head was resting on Meredith’s shoulder and his eyes were shut again but he was still pale and shivering. The oxygen mask was in place, the oxygen bottle at her feet but his pulse and respiration rate seemed to be stabilising somewhat. The rest of her sentence was cut off by a shouted conversation that erupted suddenly by the door.
‘George, you just need to wait…Jesus, O’Malley…what the hell…’
‘What’s going on, where is he? I just want to…’
‘George…wait…okay…’
Miranda looked up to see Christina attempting to physically restrain an obviously agitated George, using one hand to keep him held back and the other to hold the door in place, preventing it from opening any further than George had already managed to get it.
‘Let me see him…’
‘George?’
Alex’s whisper was too quiet to make it all the way to where George and Christina were still remonstrating with each other but loud enough for the other occupants of the room to hear. His eyes had opened again and were darting left and right as though searching to find his boyfriend.
‘George?’
The second time was stronger and decidedly more panicked and loud enough to stop George mid counter attack.
‘Alex?’
Miranda’s gaze fluctuated between George, now head locked by Christina in the doorway and Alex on the floor. Alex was beginning to stir, his movements uncoordinated and erratic and Meredith was having trouble holding him upright.
‘Alex, keep still…c’mon…it’s okay…’ Meredith murmured at the same Miranda marched in the direction of a wildly struggling Christina, she had to give the girl credit, O’Malley still hadn’t made it more than half a body width into the room.
‘O’Malley, if you’re coming in here you’re going to be quiet and calm and you are going to stay out of the way…’
‘But what’s going on? What happened? No one’s saying anything but one of the cleaners just found a disabled bathroom smashed to pieces, apparently there’s blood everywhere and I can’t find Alex…please just tell me what’s going on…’
The information about the bathroom was news to Miranda and she couldn’t hide the shock from her face as George relayed the details.
‘Dr. Bailey…Chief,’ he said looking over her shoulder to the older man, ‘please tell me what’s going on…’
Miranda’s attention was drawn from George as Meredith’s plea for help silenced the room.
‘Shit…Alex…you need to keep still…’
Alex was attempting to stand, the sodden towels falling from his frame one by one as he pushed himself to his feet, cradling his injured arm against his chest.
‘I could use some help here,’ Meredith called, using all of her strength to prevent Alex from falling back to the floor. He was obviously getting more and more worked up, murmuring constantly words and requests that were nonsensical and rambled.
Miranda and the Chief both converged on the pair but were too late to stop Alex slipping from Meredith’s desperate clutches and backing himself into a corner between the wall and a bay of lockers. He had pulled the oxygen mask off and the whites of his eyes were flashing as he bounced the back of his head against the hard wall behind him.
‘Alex?’
He appeared not to hear George’s statement of his name and certainly didn’t react to it. The bandage around his hand had become unravelled during his altercation with Meredith who looked like she was going to have a nice bruise on her cheek in a few hours time. Some gauze swabs were drenched in blood and stuck in place while others had fallen to the floor, more blood was collecting on the tips of his fingers before dripping with bright red clarity to the linoleum at his feet.
‘Alex?’
Miranda noted the scared waiver that inflected George’s voice as he called Alex’s name for the second time and from the corner of her vision she saw the Chief slip past a wide eyed Christina and out into the hallway.
Alex was still unresponsive, continuing to pound the back of his head softly and methodically into the wall behind him and murmuring soft indistinct sounds under his breath. Miranda could see the Meredith was crying but she wondered if the distraught intern even realised it as the tears fell unchecked onto the pink t-shirt she had been wearing under the now discarded scrub top Miranda had seen her removing what seemed like a lifetime ago.
She chanced taking a step closer to Alex, drawing up beside George who had seemingly frozen in the last position from which he had called Alex’s name. Alex still seemed not to see them so she continued towards him as he was visibly beginning to sag down the wall. The wrestle with Meredith and the movements that followed had used up what little energy he seemed to have regained and Miranda was beginning to seriously worry about him doing even more damage to his hand if he fell.
‘Alex? I’m going to come over okay? I’m not going to hurt you and I’m not going to touch you if you don’t want me to but I’m just going to come over so we can talk…’
He continued the murmuring, which Miranda could now decipher to be ‘my fault, my fault, my fault’ whispered continually as though the only words he knew but at least he stopped hitting his head against the wall.
‘Alex? Can you hear me?’
The towels that had been draped over him had all fallen away and even in his weakened state Miranda couldn’t help noticing that if he really wanted to cause some damage, to them or to himself, there was going to be little she could do about it, at least not without some help. With the Chief out of the room her only functioning support seemed to be Christina and even she was oddly silent and still by the doorway.
‘Alex, I really need you to say something…’
‘Jess?’
Not the response Miranda had been hoping for but it seemed to spur O’Malley back into action.
‘Alex, she’s not here, it’s okay…’ he offered, voice strained and desperate.
Alex seemed to collapse in on himself at George’s words and both Miranda and George lurched forward to catch him as his knees buckled and he began to fall. Once he was safely back on the ground Miranda moved away, leaving George to wrap the shivering figure into a tight embrace and bury his face in Alex’s hair. She could see he was saying something but she felt neither need nor desire to know what it was as Alex’s eyes clenched shut and it became difficult to tell whether the sobs or the cold were causing his violent trembling.