iguana love (like puppy love, but larger and spikier)
Written at kensieg's not-quite request, and inspired by the genius that is this. I probably used the word "iguana" a few more times than strictly necessary, but oh well.
*
Later, Rodney tried to claim that the iguana attempted to eat him, but really, all it did was flick out its tongue. Granted, the tongue was about as long as John was tall, but still. No teeth were involved or even implied, and Ford filmed the whole thing, so Rodney didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Rodney also tried to claim that John went all gooey-eyed at first sight of the thing-clearly delusional, although Teyla and Ford seemed inclined to humor him. John just laughed, because, well, clearly delusional, and also he wasn’t about to admit that he’d wanted an iguana all the way through middle school and well into high school. Although at the time he’d been thinking of one that was a little smaller-say, about two feet long instead of twenty-seven.
Of course, while John was admiring George (yes, okay, he’d privately given it a name, but something that size deserved one, and it was either that or Godzilla, and the latter seemed kind of rude)-and that was all it was: admiration-Rodney went through a complete and utter meltdown, the likes of which had never been seen before, and likely never would again. He flailed, he gibbered, he foamed at the mouth, and it was unclear what disturbed him the most: the likelihood of John getting chomped on, the likelihood of himself getting chomped on, the unlikeliness of the iguana’s size, John’s supposed infatuation with the iguana, or the fact that the source of the energy reading they’d been chasing for two hours appeared to be ‘an escapee from a bad Japanese movie’.
Eventually he calmed down enough to realize that the energy reading was coming from underneath George, and Teyla somehow produced a near-deer to entice George out of the way, and it turned out that they’d spent the afternoon chasing after a desalinizer (in the middle of a desert-either things had really changed in the interim, or the Ancients had been as crazy as John suspected)-at which point Rodney had another, much smaller meltdown and John decided it was time for them to go home.
He spent the entire trip back trying and failing to come up with an argument that might convince Elizabeth that they needed to bring George to Atlantis. Unfortunately, it followed me home, can I keep it? didn’t seem any more likely to work than it had when he was eleven. And anyway, he wasn't sure George would fit through the stargate.
*
Later, Rodney tried to claim that the iguana attempted to eat him, but really, all it did was flick out its tongue. Granted, the tongue was about as long as John was tall, but still. No teeth were involved or even implied, and Ford filmed the whole thing, so Rodney didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Rodney also tried to claim that John went all gooey-eyed at first sight of the thing-clearly delusional, although Teyla and Ford seemed inclined to humor him. John just laughed, because, well, clearly delusional, and also he wasn’t about to admit that he’d wanted an iguana all the way through middle school and well into high school. Although at the time he’d been thinking of one that was a little smaller-say, about two feet long instead of twenty-seven.
Of course, while John was admiring George (yes, okay, he’d privately given it a name, but something that size deserved one, and it was either that or Godzilla, and the latter seemed kind of rude)-and that was all it was: admiration-Rodney went through a complete and utter meltdown, the likes of which had never been seen before, and likely never would again. He flailed, he gibbered, he foamed at the mouth, and it was unclear what disturbed him the most: the likelihood of John getting chomped on, the likelihood of himself getting chomped on, the unlikeliness of the iguana’s size, John’s supposed infatuation with the iguana, or the fact that the source of the energy reading they’d been chasing for two hours appeared to be ‘an escapee from a bad Japanese movie’.
Eventually he calmed down enough to realize that the energy reading was coming from underneath George, and Teyla somehow produced a near-deer to entice George out of the way, and it turned out that they’d spent the afternoon chasing after a desalinizer (in the middle of a desert-either things had really changed in the interim, or the Ancients had been as crazy as John suspected)-at which point Rodney had another, much smaller meltdown and John decided it was time for them to go home.
He spent the entire trip back trying and failing to come up with an argument that might convince Elizabeth that they needed to bring George to Atlantis. Unfortunately, it followed me home, can I keep it? didn’t seem any more likely to work than it had when he was eleven. And anyway, he wasn't sure George would fit through the stargate.