(Untitled)

[general_jinjur]

for ms yin_again, on the occasion of her birthday. my submission for yin remix.

kavanagh, post-epiphany. hint of mcshep.
remixing the first drabble here.

thank yous to ms chr0me_kitten and mr blackcustard for their beta help.

Comments

[yin_again]

OMG, I love you so much! Brilliant remix - 1.79 doctorates, the Peter Principle, Kavanagh POV - just brilliant! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[general_jinjur]

oh thank god you liked it. i've been hyperventilating.

phew.

sympathies on the poison ivy, btw. i've actually never got it directly, only second-hand. and that's bad enough.

[palebluebell]

Something about this really appealed to me. That's probably because you managed to write a very credible Kavanagh voice, without making him entirely un-likeable, but while still retaining his petty meanness of character. That alone is a writing feat. I think it adds poignancy that we know what will happen to him shortly after this, and this makes those events a little harder to stomach because you've written him so well.

I like that you choose a third party pov rather than flipping the scene around to show it from John's side - it gave such a startlingly different angle that I was forced to look at something so familiar to me in a new light - which I loved.

[general_jinjur]

thank you so much. it may just be that i was thinking about kavanagh a lot the past few weeks, but even though he's a jerk, i kind of like him. not to mention that kavanagh is pretty much proto-mckay.

i wasn't sure if maybe i should be more obvious foreshadowing critical mass, so i'm really glad you caught that.

[millefiori]

This is really nice! I can really identify with Kavanagh and I actually think he's pretty much right in everything he's said, even if he is a jerk about it. I was just appalled by the way he was treated in 38 Minutes and Critical Mass, and this just makes my heart ache, to think that he (so upright and uptight!) showed the kind of mercy, kindness and benefit of the doubt that he would later be denied. Poor woobie--I want to give him a big hug!

[general_jinjur]

hee! i think he's a bit prickly for woobie status, but i feel like i had kavanagh living in my head for a couple of weeks there, and i kind of like him. i'm glad i made you like him in this too.

[tesserae_]

You know, I really liked this - you nailed Kavanagh, the little we see of him, and even managed to find a spark of something good in all that aggrieved ego at the end. Nice writing!

(I'm still convinced, though, that the Kavanagh-clones I work with would have turned them in just because they could.)

And I do love the idea of John and Rodney sitting out there at the end of the day getting high....

[general_jinjur]

thank you - i was a little worried i was coming over as an apologist, or making him seem like he isn't a jerk. because he is, and that's actually part of why he's interesting.

i know a couple of kavanagh-clones, and i suspect they would have turned them in, too - but i figured that, for kavanagh, this particular event/observation crosses a line between professional gripe and private matter. and that's why he lets it go (or rather, it cements that he should leave rather than stay to try to "fix" the situation.)

yes - john and rodney out on the balcony, creating this private space with pot & quiet. it's a really lovely picture.

(apologies for the very wordy feedback to your feedback, but i've never written anything fictional before, and i find that i'm cycling through stages of panic in the wake of posting this. which i need to just get over. thank you for the kind feedback, is what i'm trying to say.)

[tesserae_]

No apologies needed - it's nice to discuss things sometimes. I don't write much fic, and so I'm always pleased when people get what I was trying to say.

And you're a good writer . You've obviously got control of your prose, and this is, I think, I difficult character to write well. And it's even harder to capture heroism (or at least something beyond self-interest) in the eseentially unheroic.

And, you're welcome!

[evilbeard]

this is very good but i still think Kavanaugh is a dick. =)

[general_jinjur]

dude, he IS a dick. i didn't make him seem like not-a-dick, did i? (i want to say that what i was trying to do was make him a three-dimensional dick, but that sounds very very wrong.)

[evilbeard]

haha no you made him seem kinda dickish but fromteh viewpoint of the dick himself which is always justified in his umm dickishness.

I have to say I got kinda caught up with trying to decipher whatever it was that McKay and Shepperd were actually doing. =P

[general_jinjur]

phew. ok, good.

heh. they're having a moment. not a smutty moment, just, like, a "sorry i thought you abandoned me forever in a wacky enclave of meditating people" moment. and there's forgiveness and some leaning. you could read the drabble this remixes, it's pretty much evilbeard-safe. and half as long as this thing is.