long msn convo, very personal, very much seemingly high

[gemr]

Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
my power went out patxz
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
sheesh! damn ice storms i say
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i know, they f'n suck
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
although they are cool but not good when they bring down the power
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
but pretty as a picture
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
how come you can get online then? or are you in the school?
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
some pictures are ugly
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
yeah, i just got out of lecture
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
well pretty as a picture of gram
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
but some picutes of me are ugly as well
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
i am bored of reading about contradictions of enlightenment grammaticus
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i am bored of this whole existence of mine
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
oooo very darkly philosophical
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
purchase a trench coat and notepad and jot down some hateful aphorisms
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
thjat was me two years ago
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
those were the gold old days
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
indeed indeed
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
man, this sucks, i am bored but there is nothing i want to do
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
and i don't even have an assighment to work on
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i wish i had a miraculous drug that would put mne to sleep for a few days
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
hmmm...
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
that would be nice
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
actually
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
just don't OD on sleeping pills young man
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i don't have any sleeping pills
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
well on coffee then
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
or caffeine tablettens
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
gram
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
grammy gram
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
i feel your pain
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
but that would keep me awake, the oppisite of what i want
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
(possibly in part because pain is unique like a little jigsaw piece)
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i feel out of myself today
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
nothing makes sense to me
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i can't make sense of anything patz
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
today doesn't seem like one fluid day, nothing is flowing, today is a bunch of pebbles patz, my day is constructed of solids!
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
we could go to the cinema or something
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
although nothing good is on at all
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
i am not very original or thoughtful when it comes to anti-boredom suggestions
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
they say despair brreds creativity
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
i would agree
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
write a poem
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
that wasn't that bad actually, if my power was working i'd go home, get really high, and fall asleep watching a movie
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
or a little story
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i tried to do that earlier, but i have no creativity today
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
because i can't think well today
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
my consciousness feels detached from my head, its a weird feeling
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
yeah
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
you need a friend that can never be found
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
a complimentary piece, the jigsaw, that puzzle is never complete because the other piece has been soaked and ruined by worldpeople
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i hyave been soaked and ruined bny worldpeople
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
but in a differant way
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
man everyone feels fuckin shit once in a while
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
it's inevitable, it's the human condition
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i know
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i justr feel wierd
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
give it a few days trust me it'll pass
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i don't feel depressed or happy or anything really, i feel nothing patz
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i'm worried i'm not really a human
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
you aren't. neither am i
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
what exactly IS a human anyway
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
a stupid irrational being that destroys the world in a geological hour
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
you shouldn't be worried that you are not really a human, you should rejoice n it
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
thats what I thought at first
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
humans in entirety are pitiful, they create to destroy, and destroy to create, they make no sense
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
but humans are capable of art patz, ART! an incredible invention
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i want to do art
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
well then do it
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
yes, you are quite right, do it and i completely agree
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
but today, i am unable to do art or appreciate art, just for one day i hope
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
anyhtring can be art
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
stop wallowing and just do it
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
when the fuck is 'one day?' is is never. i say the same thing. one day will never come, today is one day as in right now
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
whatever, this is all probably a product of a head cold
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
nah it's a product of inevitability really
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
everyone feels like it at one point or another
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
my first 4 weeks here for example, it was complete despair, but you recover!
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
this shall not last four weeks, i';ll be back by wednesday
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
well there you go!
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
tonight when you go home you will start feeling better. i bet yo are feeling a little better already
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
in a situation like that just forget about people. forget about yourself and go on a walk. a long lonely walk as if you are the only person on the planet, or go to a lake or something and imagine all the cities sunken
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:

Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i know, i want to go on a walk but its too icy, it wouldn't work
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
well then use the old imagination
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
b/c i wouldn't be able to stop nthinkning about the ice
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
my problem is that i don't have an imagination right now
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
alright, enough of trying to fix my "problem" beucase i don't even know what it is, i know parts of what it is, i don't tihnk there is one person on this earth who is as much of a stranger to themself as I am to me
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
right
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
because you are the only one that is lost
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
of course i am not
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
but yes, you are quite correct in a way. everyone is a stranger to iothers and themself. who the fuck is andrew paterson? eh?
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i meant i don't understand myself, i don't understand my thought processes
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
hm ok, i don't get what you are saying
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
maybe your 'problem' does not want to be 'fixed'
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i'm a schizophrenic Patz
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
so you travel to strange vistas
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
so you are a schizophrenic, at least you have reasons for your strange thought processes then. their is at least one step
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
perhaps you need to hang out with someone for a bit?
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i need a fucking drug thats what i need, but weed just makes me paranoid, it works for awhile, but than ceases
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
that is why everyonce in awhile, i go throw about 6 months of very heavy pot smoking, followed by about 6 monnths of seldom usage
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
hey, lyndsay is here
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
well then you have a friend, talk to her
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
or write down your thoughts, fuck, do something if you sit and stew it will be horrid
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i don't really know my thoughts
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
yeah i know
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
a pub crawl tomorrow
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
yep
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
do you have meds for the schizopoo
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
nope
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
never been formaly diagnosed
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
indon't even know if i do
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
i think you would know if you did have it
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i think maybe i'm just crazy
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
that is why i like you
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
haha
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
but i always think maybe that's justa cop-out, m to say i'm crazy
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
what do you mean
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
like, it would be an excuse to give up on life
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
if i were to be crazy
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
no one expects anything from a crazeh man
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
och shut up
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
haha that sounded a bit nasty lol sorry
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
but honestly what is the point in this
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
in life?
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
' an excuse to give up on life' what a silly thing to say
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i said it sounds like "an excuse to give up on life" i didn't say i was using it as that
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i'm probably not even crazy, just paranoid of going crazy becuase a lot of the ppl i would aspire to be have gone crazy
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
like Van Gogh, man, he was crazeh
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
i'd rather be crazy than a fucking drone
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
are you really living, if your life has been lived before, or is being lived by so many countless others
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
thats what i want to ask drones, but the drones have yet to be given an answer to that
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
they don't really exist anyways, they are fillers with small insignificant roles to play in the lifes of those who do exist
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
take brock, there are a lot of drones, basically everyone is the same in some form or another
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
and here is where i get fuckin worried too, what if i am a drone too
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
no one knows they are one
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
but they don't even have a role to play, apart from depressing people
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
ugh
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
i don't even know
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
i think that is what thom yorke is talking about in that lyric i have there
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
and in a lot of his lyrics. the man is a genius
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
if you know drones exist, you are not a drone
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
maybe
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
but what if you live your life then die a nothing, with nobody having done nothing of note. you know of drones. what are you then?
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
an enlightened drone! what a step
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
you are noot a drone, but you may not exist either
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
exist in the life of others i geuss, thats like asking the tree falling in the woods question
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
of course
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
i guess you do exist in the mind of others
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
even if no one knows you exist
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
your existence will live on somehow, at least at the very through one persin
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
then no, if no one knows you exist then i guess not. maybe that's the unique project of the hermit
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
we 'are' in some form though, be it whatever it is
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
maybe i want to be totally forgotten
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
well then that is your decision to make but i somehow doubt it
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
humans go their whole life wanting to become immortal, we fear our mortallity and fear we will be forgotten when we die
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i believe that is how portraits came to be
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
probably an element of that aye
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
a king-like man somewhere didn't want his ppl to forget who he was
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
become a god or a ghoul
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i am my own god
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
odin was never forgotten
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i forget who that is
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
but a god too what is it
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
gods are als forgotten
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
the sunken city of atlantis, what gods did they worship
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
forgotten idols of yesteryear
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
the first humans, who were they, what deity surrounds
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
sheesh
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
is there really such thing as first humans
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
where do you draw the line
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
well all i can say is this juncture is that i am listening t the velvet underground and nico and i am happy
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
and soon you will be too
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
if everything is so pointless then the only logical solution is t make the most of it
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i never said everything was so pointless
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i am not an existentialist
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
or maybe i am i don't even realize it
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
right well i am lost and probably not the person to talk about this
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
'there's always someone around you who will call'
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
aahh, its just a lot of ppl accuse the existentialists of making its reading think life is meaningless
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
http://sineemreage.deviantart.com/
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
you have deviant art
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
by the way maybe you will find something of interest here:
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
http://spiritualemergency.blogspot.com
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
ohyyes i have a deviant art
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
but its all crap
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i don't like the ones on there
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
i wouldn't say that
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
i have a blogspot but no one is seeing it, i just can't be bothered buying a paper based journal
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
no, thsoe are crappy poems, well maybe not
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
your friend has written a brilliant one, concerning the clouds
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
i don't think they are crappy to be honest but what would i know
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
what friend
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
or it seemed as if it was a friend that wrote it, if it was you sorry, but it is really awesome
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
what was it called
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
it probably was a friend
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
hang on a sec
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
'where we dwell' by ellecrumpets
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
oh yeah, that was by lauren
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
she is very talented
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
she was at sheehans last week
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
seems so
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
cool
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
she may be there this week,, look at her pics, she has some beautiful pics
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
i will i was just reading that poem again. that is something i wish i could do, take awesome photos i mean
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i probably shouldn't be deleting my poems, i have them on my computer anyways, but it would be good to get a second copy of them off my pc
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
in case i want to see them in the furutre
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
yeah don't delete them geezo
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i deleted one
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i should piut more up, i wrote a few more in november ithink
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
so you are an amateur writer boyo
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
patz, plz make me an admin again for the even on facebook
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
everyone is an amateur
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
'cept those who are poaid
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
k, nevermind the admin thing
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
haha i am not getting involved in this
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i know, don't bother, i have resigned
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
lol what has happened
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i have too many things on the agenda right now to be an admin
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
haha a facebook admin, a very serious hardworking post
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i know, thats why i can't do it
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
look, you guys are falling behind already, jo asked a question
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
oh the pressure
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
what's everyone on tonight?
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
did something strange descend with that ice storm?
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
an alien craft perchance?
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
they slipped something in our ears
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
you must have already been on it
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
possibly
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
i really just think its because its monday
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
and everyone is bored
Gram - now it's all covered with daisies says:
and i'm hungry but don't want to go home to make food
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
lol
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
anyone i am off, see ya
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
well then enjoy food when you get it lol
Patz: We've got heads on sticks and you've got ventriloquists says:
tata