Sweden or Bust!

[geminiwench]

"We're going to see the Vasa."

-"Oooh, I just hear that name and I shudder.
Do it again."

"The Vasa."

-*shivers*

"The Vasa! The Vasa! The Vasa!"

Comments

[halfmoon_mollie]

How very exciting! I've friends besides you who have traveled to Iceland and said pretty much the same thing.

Your Sailor and my Dad would have gotten on famously, I think. Dad was a sailor in the Navy and then later on we always had sailboats and he knew instinctively how to sail. He would have a millions questions and would have listened to every single answer - and remembered.

I loved this post.

[geminiwench]

I just fixed some of the graphics/links so maybe it's even better now!

I get motion sick on boats... and can't swim.
But I do think sailboats are EXTREMELY beautiful... and if I take a Dramamine, I love how quiet and *thoughtful* it is as a mode of travel.

When Sailor applied to his current job and was being interviewed, him and his bosses' boss mostly just talked sailing. Sailor talked about his sailing trip from Massachusetts to Washington State, via the panama canal on a tall ship.

This very wealthy, professional man in his 60s was like, "I always wanted to do something like that... but I never got around to it."

He actually liked that Sailor's answer was, "I was 20 when I did it, but one of our crew was your age so... don't think you can't!"

[halfmoon_mollie]

He never had the patience to teach me to sail but I do love it, and yes it is quiet - and so much easier on the lungs than a gasoline engine.

Can't swim. Well, maybe you should take lessons. You are so great at everything, you'd probably learn really fast. But maybe you don't want to.

[geminiwench]

I've taken lessons, and I can save myself in a backyard pool... but that's about as far as I got. Although my new weight gain has made me way more buoyant which might help because before I was always a 'sinker' and it was really hard to stay high in the water.

But I also realized during those swimming lessons as a teen (in a class of much younger kids) that I don't like the water pressure on my chest. It feels like the first stage of an asthma attack and it's incredibly uncomfortable to ignore that mental alarm when listening to that feeling and paying attention to it has saved my life more than once.

So, I don't worry about it. I wade. I also have a friend who is a life-jacket wearer when swimming with me... and that is a nice combination.

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[wantedonvoyage]

Sailor is afraid of watching his dad,
and so many professional men wait for retirement,
but their bodies are so broken,
their spirits so tired
that their on-time retirement is bleak and bland.

This is soooooo true. I was at a bachelor party and the groom's father had been told "it was time" to retire. He confessed low-level anxiety because he had no idea what he was going to do with himself. I was like "Dude, I have a list NOW" And I have checked things off that list even though I have at least ten more years to work, probably more. Like you said, don't wait.

[geminiwench]

One of my friends was really anxious about retiring. She built her whole life around her career and loved it and.... wasn't sure she knew what she would DO.

But, luckily she got over it fast and her and her husband bought an RV and spent 3 years roadtripping around the U.S. and that freed her from any idea that her job *was* her identity and suddenly having all her time was a freedom she hadn't experienced since childhood and felt invigorated.

But so many people do the opposite. They sit in front of the TV and don't worry about what they want to do... that they never had time for before. And they quickly decay from this trap of "retirement = stopping".... rather than the reality which is "retirement = penultimate freedom". Cook. Garden. Walk. Travel. Learn. Talk. Rediscover and recommit to your passions.

[wantedonvoyage]

The other thing I've observed is that retirement forces people (particularly men, it seems) to face the fact that they have neglected to develop and maintain friendships outside family and work. I used to think this was a generational thing as I observed it in my grandparents and their siblings, but I have noticed it is happening again now, particularly as the parents of my generation seems so focused on what their kids are doing and the guys in particular only seem to hang out with the other dads on their kids' teams, etc., or the male partners of their wives' friends.

Not having kids myself, this was never an option and in fact sometimes we feel a little alienated from non-parents, but on the other hand we will not expect our nieces and nephews to provide us with a purpose (at least certainly not full-time) when our paid work ends.

[geminiwench]

Absolutely. Spot on.

I know many older men AND women who were parents who devoted themselves so much to their job + kids... that when the kids leave, and the job ends... they're lost without purpose and scared of novelty.

So they just... sorta unhappily run through their routines and wonder when life got so lonely, boring, and tiring.

[verdande_mi]

Exciting :D Hope the trip is wonderful :D

I am going to Stockholm as well this year, in the summer and Vasa is certainly on my list :D Will be my first time in the capital, but I have been to Sweden lots of times. I have never been to Iceland, but it is on my travel list.

[geminiwench]

This is my first visit to Sweden.
I'd love to know a few inside tips about something little I can do to 'fit in' culturally would be VERY HELPFUL! Maybe a bit of slang or easy way of saying something more casual and fitting than the simple "hello", "please", "thank you" and "I'm sorry"! Ha!

I am excited you are going, too! I bet the summers are absolutely **beautiful** there.

We stayed in Reykjavik since we were only in Iceland for 4 nights... but it was a really lovely city to explore. Very welcoming. Easy to navigate. Really walkable downtown. And their numerous thermal lagoons?? Oh... heaven!

[verdande_mi]

I guess the general norm in any Nordic country is that we like our personal space and a way of showing respect of other people is leaving people be when we can, not interrupting people for no reason. We’re also informal and don’t use words like Mr and Mrs, well we have them, but it is considered very formal.

Here’s a good list of words: https://www.clozemaster.com/blog/80-helpful-swedish-phrases/

[geminiwench]

Thank you! Thank you!

[glove_to_face]

Sailor is afraid of watching his dad,
and so many professional men wait for retirement,
but their bodies are so broken,
their spirits so tired
that their on-time retirement is bleak and bland.

I worded something similar to my dad on the phone yesterday. It really stuck with him. I'll be writing up a retirement notice to his customers in the next week or so. It will be sent Feb. 1st. I told him: "instead of walking down to your office in the morning, you now get to go for a walk around the block. Instead of worrying about getting Titles examined and sent out, you get to prioritize your hobbies and enjoyments."

It's so sad to see a lot of my uncles (who are still alive) living out their retirement days barely able to move properly, because they worked themselves sick.

[geminiwench]

Thanks for not being afraid to tell your dad some hard things for his own good.
That's hard, too.

LOTS of people worked themselves sick.
Of course hard labor jobs are known for that... imagine a 70 year old roofer!
Nope... because they don't do that past 50!

He can still remain friends and be a knowledge-base for colleagues, he can still keep his mind sharp by working on *anything*, because there isn't a pile of work being put in front of him,.... he can travel or relax or learn a new skill... all the things he didn't have "time" for, before!

That time he will have... has been bought and paid for with all that dedication.
You bought that car... now it's finally time to drive it!

[glove_to_face]

Totally right! He can still hang with friends (even in a drinking environment) but not have to drink. He belongs to a Rec Club and love having lunch there. He told me yesterday that he has no interest in beer anymore and would just enjoy having food, drinking water, and talking with friends.

I have no doubt in my mind that his partners and clients will reach out in the future for help on some title work here and there. I'm positive he'll be ok with that, as long it's on a "as needed" basis, and not because they specifically want Tim to do it.

My dad is a very active person. He loves traveling and hanging with people and working on his cars and just being a general busy body. I'm so excited for the future for him. It's a shame it took a damn BRAIN INJURY to push him to retirement (when he's been promising retirement for about 3-4 years now).

Thank you for all the kind words of affirmation <3

[geminiwench]

It doesn't sound like he will be bored, which is the number one danger of retiring when a person invested themselves so deeply into their job, they lose their identity when they lose their job.

I think your dad is going to be GREAT! And now that he is getting the treatment he needs? That's huge!