The Narrative Strain, Chapter 13b
TITLE: History Rewritten
RATING: T
GENRE: Horror/Tragedy
DESCRIPTION: What was truth, and what was fiction?
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Screw you, LJ formatting. >=(
"I think we should leave," said Elphaba nervously, pacing the floor near their beds. The clock on their mantle chimed the hour, and Elphaba was growing anxious. Her recent meeting with Ama Clutch and Morrible had put her into a dreadful state. She worried her fingers tightly together as she quickly continued to pace.
Glinda was stretched out on the chaise lounge near the fire, quietly engrossed with a sorcery book. She was unusually devoted to her studies of late, and failed to notice Elphaba's demeanor.
"Mmmm?" said Glinda without looking up. "Did you want to go down to the buttery?"
"Not that," said Elphaba, entirely distracted. "I mean leave this place entirely."
Glinda smirked while casually turning another page in her book. "Bored on a Wednesday evening, darling? That's not like the Elphie I know. Aren't you meant to be studying something that's very important and dull?"
"We can't stay here," Elphaba insisted, less to Glinda than to herself.
"We can if I trap you, which I've obviously done in my weak and helpless condition. Poor Elphie… you must be going stir-crazy. Would you like to go for a walk? I should really take you out on the town, but I must confess that I don't feel like sharing you with anyone else at the moment."
"Glinda," said Elphaba with mounting frustration. "We can't stay here... at this school…in this town. It's not safe for us here anymore." She turned away and started pacing again while sliding her fingers together. "Morrible is planning something… I know it. I can feel it. And I won't be calm until we've gone and left this place for good."
Glinda set her book aside, giving Elphaba her full attention. "You want to leave Shiz?" she calmly asked, folding her arms on the back of the chaise and resting her chin on top of them.
"It's the only way we'll be safe," said Elphaba. "I want to leave tonight."
"I think you're being serious," said Glinda.
"I think I am as well," she replied.
Glinda studied her with a thoughtful expression, then straightened up on the cushions. "You're upset. I can see that. Come here and sit with me. Let's talk about this, Elphaba."
Elphaba obeyed and sat down beside her. Glinda took her hand.
"I've been thinking about the Emerald City as a possible alternative," said Elphaba. "We could take a third-class coach to the city- gain an audience with the Wizard."
"The Wizard?"
Elphaba nodded. "I could take Dillamond's research with me. We could travel right up to the palace. We'll meet the great and terrible Wizard and explain everything that's been going on. Murder… intrigue… a school led by corrupted officials… and best of all, proof that Doctor Dillamond's theories might actually have some merit. These are truths he can't ignore. We'll force him to do something about them."
Glinda stared intently at her. "What if he did nothing at all?"
Elphaba regarded her somewhat darkly, her lips curled at the edge. "You think he's that corrupt, my dear?"
Glinda shrugged her shoulders. "You've never thought well of him before, Elphaba. Why would you trust him now?"
"It's not a question of trust, Glinda; it's a question of authority. He has the power to change things in Oz whether I like it or not. If you can't respect a fraudulent leader, you at least have to respect their ability to influence the actions and opinions of others. He could be a formidable foe or a powerful ally, and it's in our best interest to know where he stands."
They sat like that for a moment in silence. Glinda curled up on the chair. "Then what becomes of us?" she said, turning towards the fire. "What if the Wizard ignores your pleas or threatens something worse? Do we just keep running? Do we go into hiding? Do we take up with a band of insurgents?"
"Don't be foolish," said Elphaba tersely, though she wasn't looking at Glinda. "I would never endanger you like that."
"I never thought you would, Elphie, but you still haven't answered my question."
"Look," said Elphaba, grasping Glinda's arm. "We'll worry about all of this later. The important thing is that we leave here now while we're still relatively in one piece. It doesn't matter where we go, Glinda; we just have to get the hell out of here."
Glinda's gaze fell to her lap. "What of Ama Clutch?"
Elphaba exhaled and stared into the flames. "She's beyond our ability to help anymore."
"Then what about Nanny and Nessarose? Could you abandon them as well?"
"They'll understand," said Elphaba curtly with much more conviction than she felt.
"Elphie," said Glinda, her voice firm and even, "things aren't as simple as that. Who do you think that Morrible will turn on if you or I were to leave? She would quickly come after our friends and family; she's already done it before. What better way could she possibly hurt us, and you know she would. Leaving now might keep us safe, but it isn't solving our problem."
"Keeping you safe is my problem," Elphaba angrily replied.
"By endangering the lives of others in the process? Elphaba, no one is worth that."
"Well what do you suggest we do?" said Elphaba, getting angrier. "Just sit here for the rest of the year while that murderous bitch continues to conspire to ruin both of our lives? It isn't happening! I'd sooner die. Hell and Oz, I'd just as soon as poison you myself! I won't live under that woman's shadow, do you hear me? I won't do it, Glinda."
Glinda sat back and stared at the flames flickering against the grate. She didn't seem terribly affected by Elphaba's anger. Her mood was much more contemplative.
Considering all that Glinda had been through, Elphaba was actually surprised to find her so indifferent about Madame Morrible. The terrified girl haunted by nightmares had retreated somewhere beneath the surface of her porcelain skin. She realized, perhaps, that she was asking too much of Glinda- at least for the time being. Her friend had just gotten her life back together; why would she ruin it on a whim?
Besides, their Headmistress had yet to make a move, which meant that Glinda could happily carry on in semi-blissful ignorance. Laughing… smiling… and casually entertaining flirtations from Boq and his friends.
Elphaba winced when she caught herself thinking so callous and resentful a thought. That isn't fair. You're making this personal. So what if she broke your heart?
Glinda finally turned to look at her, and something in her expression had changed. "I know that, Elphie," she whispered softly, "and I'm not going to ask you to do that. But I do want you to promise me something, because I know you'll keep it."
Elphaba slowly arched an eyebrow. Glinda took her hand again. "Promise me that you won't give up on the people we love and care about."
Elphaba leaned back on the cushions of the chair. "You're asking me to stay."
"I'm asking you to open your eyes and look around you, Elphaba. Everything you've ever wanted is right here in front of you. If you've taught me anything, and you've taught me plenty, it's that there are things in this world worth fighting for. If we start running now, we'll be running forever. Better to stand our ground."
"Are you actually suggesting that we stay at this school and fight this battle head on?"
"I'm saying you can change the world, Elphie, and you don't have to do it alone. You can't trust the Wizard; you've already admitted that. So why not trust someone who is far more deserving?"
Elphaba's lips formed into a snarl, and she flung Glinda's hand away from her. "Oh no you don't," she said with a sneer, getting up off the seat. "I know exactly where this is going, Glinda, and we are not going to have this argument!"
Glinda stood up and reached for her hand, gently pulling her closer. "We're not arguing," she softly replied. "I'm just asking you a question."
"Did Boq put you up to this?" said Elphaba spitefully. "Did he casually let it slip while he was reading you poetry by moonlight?"
"Boq didn't put me up to anything," said Glinda, refusing to let Elphaba offend her. "I asked because I wanted to know, and I think my question has merit. Our friends have stood by us through thick-and-thin, Elphie- don't they deserve a chance to prove themselves to you?"
Elphaba got right up in Glinda's face, her expression a menacing scowl. "Do you honestly think I'd be willing to jeopardize the lives of any of those fools? Would I ever be able to forgive myself if something horrible were to befall them? I've already lost Dr. Dillamond, Glinda, and that was sufficient enough. Better to ally with twisted men that have no names or faces. The losses that are sure to come are far less painful to deal with."
Glinda regarded her with a mixture of pity and something resembling remorse. "Loss is a part of life, Elphaba. I'm afraid you can't get around that. People live and die each day without ever accomplishing anything. Do you think Dr. Dillamond would have stopped his research if he knew that his life was in danger? Or did he believe that his cause was worthy of something greater than himself? If sacrifice is inevitable, Elphaba, then why can't we turn this tragedy into something that's actually meaningful?"
She took Elphaba's face in her hands, willing Elphaba to look at her. "This isn't just our battle anymore. Give your friends a chance."
Elphaba bowed her head in distress, unable to fight Glinda's pull. "I can't," said Elphaba, her voice trembling. "I can't do it, Glinda."
Glinda brought them closer together. "Promise me, Elphaba. Say it."
"I love them," she muttered, utterly defeated.
"Then let them love you back."
They looked at each other in the flickering firelight. Elphaba knew she had lost. She breathed deeply and stared down at Glinda. "Alright," she whispered, "I promise."
Glinda's lips turned up at the corners and her eyes glistened with light. She slowly settled against Elphaba's shoulder and wrapped her arms around her. It had been far too long since she'd held her like this, and it was more than Elphaba could handle. She cautiously slipped her arms around Glinda and held her as tight as she dared. Love was a very irksome thing, and she wasn't sure she approved of it.
"It's still early," Elphaba whispered. "We can go for a walk if you'd like."
"Let's just stay in," said Glinda quietly. "It's a little too cold tonight."
---
Elphaba was settled under her covers, resting her head in her hands. She was much more tired than she thought she'd be, but still, her mind wandered.
Midnight blue configurations swirled all over the ceiling. She looked for shapes or intricate patterns within the splotches of paint. Somewhere at the back of her mind, she heard Morrible's words to her, spoken at the infirmary. You can never see the bigger picture…
But what was she meant to see?
She traced a line of significant events back to the morning of Dillamond's murder. But no… no. She had to go further. Further back than she'd cared to look before this mess had started.
From her earliest moments of doubt and reasoning, she'd watched the world turning around her like a giant broken mechanism. Faces, religions, and governments were lies, cloaked in shadows and conspiracies. She set herself apart from them all, believing that the furthest distance would give her the greatest perspective. And yet, perhaps her mistrusting nature had actually narrowed her vision. Was she so determined to see the storm that she missed the winds that carried it? How far could fate stretch its hand to alter an entire history?
Elphaba could never sufficiently determine why she had ever been born. Why the teeth, or why the green skin? Had there been a purpose to any of it at all? But there she was, the living aberration, so she tried to make the best of it. She was a girl with ambition, and Shiz was supposed to offer her a path she could happily follow. Anger. Revolution. The spark of rebellion. It was a flame that constantly burned inside her.
But she didn't anticipate the death of seclusion, wrapped in an impression of love.
Elphaba closed her eyes and breathed the chill winter air. She had promised Glinda that she would stay. She had vowed not to desert their companions. A foolish decision? Certainly. Why not? Elphaba seemed to be full of them lately. But it wasn't a promise she felt she could regret, not after everything that had happened.
But Madame Morrible…
Elphaba's fingers clenched in her hair; her teeth ground together. Morrible was the thorn that caused her to bleed, and she didn't know how to stop her. Whatever promises she had made to Glinda, Elphaba couldn't live with the woman hovering over their lives. She was certain that Glinda knew this as well, so what was she expecting her to do about it? Commit a murder? Bludgeon the woman while she slept in her monstrous bed? Hide all their friends in some undisclosed location? It all seemed preposterous.
She could try the police, though recent events had proven that they were an incompetent lot. If Morrible was guilty, there was no reason to suspect that justice would be served accordingly. So for the time being, they were stuck where they were, waiting for the Headmistress to make her next move. It made the night just a little bit longer, and the cold a little bit deeper.
Elphaba's thoughts continued to wander when they were interrupted by a small voice on the other side of the room.
"Elphie?"
"What is it?" said Elphaba, turning over to stare at Glinda's back. She didn't realize her roommate was awake. Glinda hadn't made a sound.
"The room's a little cold tonight," Glinda softly whispered.
Elphaba sighed and climbed out of bed, grabbing the extra blanket on top of her. It was a worn old thing that she'd brought from home, but it happened to be Glinda's favorite. She spread it out over Glinda's body, buried beneath the blankets.
"Someday, Miss Glinda, you're going to learn the value of practically over fashion. Quadlings may weave hideous blankets, but at least they keep you warm."
After smoothing and tucking the corners around her, she turned to head back to her bed. A hand reached up and pressed against hers, keeping Elphaba in place.
"I'm still cold," she said quietly, still not looking at Elphaba.
Elphaba stared at her in silent question, then felt her pulse slightly quicken. She swallowed a lump tightly in her throat, then whispered, "Would you like me to light the fire?"
Glinda slid her fingers through Elphaba's. "Just stay with me tonight."
Elphaba nodded and lifted the covers, climbing in next to Glinda. It was much warmer than her own bed had been, but Elphaba wasn't going to argue about it. This was a luxury she had too keenly missed; a joy she'd long been deprived of. Her arms were around Glinda before she could stop herself, and Glinda turned into them instantly. She shivered as Elphaba held her closer, almost as if she were crying.
But Elphaba never felt the sting of tears against her neck. She only felt the warm hands and measured breaths of her friend. Their hearts were beating together once more, and the sensation was entirely overwhelming. Elphaba closed her eyes and smiled.
Maybe there was hope after all.
---
It was a cold but cloudless winter's day near the end of the semester. The students at Shiz were readying for the holidays, marked by the usual tomfoolery that tended to accompany the winter interlude.
Every year, the campus would descend on the southern provinces for the richly spectacular Festival of Lights. They would ride down in carriages to the beautiful villages lit up with the colors of Lurlinemas. It was an opportunity to shop, dance, and delight in the endless reserves of mulled wine. Everyone on campus had planned on attending, and dozens of carriages had been ordered.
Elphaba and Nanny were preparing for the excursion up in Nessa's room. They were bundling her up in several layers, much to Nessa's vexation.
"You've trussed me up like a goose," she complained, scowling up at Elphaba.
"You'll thank me when the temperature drops and you turn into a self-righteous popsicle. Nanny, pass me that scarf, will you? I think we should also bundle her mouth."
"Oh, ha, ha," said Nessa sarcastically. "I can still kick you, you know."
"I'll keep that in mind when I'm lacing your boots," said Elphaba, smiling devilishly.
Nanny was still fussing around the room, gathering every layer of clothing she could think to wrap around Nessa. "Oh Nanny, please don't bother with that hat," said Nessa with a sigh. "The wool is itchy and makes my ears red. Glinda bought me a nicer one in that hatbox over in the corner."
"This one?" said Nanny, lifting the lid and pulling a beautiful mink cloche out. "Gracious Lurline, how much did this cost?"
"How would I know?" said Nessa, blushing. "What a tacky thing to ask. And speak of the devil, where is Glinda? Isn't she supposed to be getting ready?"
"She's with Shenshen and Milla," said Elphaba flatly, kneeling down to tie Nessa's boots. "No doubt they're powdering and dressing in gowns that are wholly impractical for the weather. But she said she'll meet us down at the gate as soon as the carriages get here."
"I'm surprised she's agreed to all of this foolishness, what with the weather so cold," said Nanny.
"Glinda's health is fine, Nanny. She's tired of being cooped up behind doors."
"Well she didn't look all that hearty this morning when that horrible little tik-tok device dropped off that letter for her. The girl looked so pale and deathly sick, I thought she was going to faint."
Elphaba quickly turned and looked up at her. "What? Do you mean Grommetik?"
Nanny came over and placed the mink hat on top of Nessa's head. "Is that what it's called? The noisy machine that Morrible keeps as a pet? How abnormal. But yes- it wheeled up and gave her the note before we went down to breakfast."
"What did it say?" Nessa cut in, staring down at Elphaba.
"I'm not sure. She looked rather nervy, but she smiled when I approached her. 'Just some family business,' she'd said, but Lurline, was she ever pale. I tell you poppies, that awful little machine gets me all varieties of spooked."
"Nanny," said Elphaba, getting to her feet, "would you mind finishing with Nessa? I'm going to go out and find Glinda."
"Why don't I save you the trouble?" said a voice cheerfully through the doorway.
Everyone turned as Glinda entered the room, curtsying with informal grace. She was dressed in a beautiful forest-green cape with white fur for the trim. "Sorry if I'm intruding, but you left the door open and I decided to invite myself in. Oh Nessarose! You have more layers than a Gillikinese wedding cake! What on earth have they done to you?"
"Thank you, Glinda," said Nessa irritably. "I've been complaining for over an hour."
"Well better to have you grumbling now than when you freeze much later!" said Nanny.
"I'm sure she'll be fine," Glinda smiled. "The bonfires should keep her warm. Is everyone ready? Boq and Avaric are waiting down by the carriages."
"Wonderful," said Nessa, stalking towards the door with Nanny rushing behind her.
"Hold on!" said Nanny, trying to catch up with her. "You forgot your other scarf!"
Glinda chuckled and turned to Elphaba, reaching to take her hand. "Shall we, my dear?"
"After you," she replied, gladly taking her arm.
They followed Nanny and Nessa out, lingering a short distance behind. Elphaba casually brought up the note, but Glinda didn't seem overly concerned about it. "It was just a letter from mother. That's all. She was mad with worry when she found out the business of my recent illness. I'm sure father made matters worse by neglecting to write to her immediately."
"Do they quarrel often?" Elphaba asked.
"Whenever they get the opportunity. How they love and adore each other is quite literally beyond me at times."
"Perhaps it's because they compliment each other," said Elphaba with a smile.
"Yes," said Glinda. "Perhaps it is. One can never tell."
They didn't say anything else to each other as they walked outside towards the gate. Students and Amas were wandering about in every different direction. Carriages were already lined up at the curb, decorated with holly and tinsel. They found Avaric and Boq at the front and waved their hands cheerfully in greeting.
Avaric quickly hopped to the door and opened it up for Nessa.
"Ready to brave the fierce Gillikin wilderness?" he said, observing her layers.
"Master Avaric," said Nessa curtly, "I would be grateful if you'd just shut up." He grinned cheekily as he helped her in, and his hands lingered a bit too long on Nessa's slender torso. Nanny was following close behind and shot him a reproving look.
"I'll take it from here, you wicked upstart," she huffed while climbing in.
Avaric tried his best to look innocent. "Just being a gentleman, m'lady."
Boq was about to walk over to Glinda when Avaric grabbed him by the tie. "No time for gallantry," he said in a rush before shoving him into the carriage. "We're wasting enough time already, so hop to it, man!"
"Dammit Avaric!" yelled Boq from within. "You shoved me on Nessa's lap!"
"You can thank me later," said Avaric merrily. "Miss Elphie? Miss Glinda? Who's next?"
"No thank you, Avaric," said Glinda, smiling. "I'm catching a different coach."
"You're not coming with us?" said Elphaba suddenly, turning towards her in shock.
"I promised Shenshen that I'd go with her and try to smooth things over with Pfannee."
Elphaba hadn't anticipated this event, and her features formed into a scowl. "Oh come on, Glinda- you've got to be joking. Why would you go and abandon me for the idiocies of that mincing harlot? Do you think I can bear the ride with these fools without tossing them out of a window?"
"I honestly expected you to congratulate me," said Glinda. "Haven't you always said that I should try to be the better person?"
"Better doesn't equal irrational. You're entirely too forbearing."
"And you're being cynical," said Glinda reproachfully. "Everyone deserves a second chance. Just look at me, Elphie- where would I be if you'd never forgiven me for my cruelties?"
"The Pink Dormitories?" Elphaba quipped. "Forced to endure the tartish company of sixteen obnoxiously chattering girls along with my miserably green self?"
Glinda clasped a hand to her chest, suddenly looking serious. "Gracious Elphaba... what a tragedy! And pink goes so splendidly with green."
Elphaba tried to glare at her, but she ended up laughing instead. It was just the sort of ridiculous comment that Glinda could get away with. Glinda joined in, laughing prettily as she adjusted Elphaba's scarf.
"Now quit being so grumpy," she said primly, folding it into an attractive knot. "You'll have Boq and the others to keep you company, and plenty of windows to throw them out of should the occasion call for it." She stood back and looked at Elphaba's figure, nodding as if in approval. "There…you look wonderful! And I know the journey will be far more pleasant than you think."
"Maybe," said Elphaba with a wry sort of smile. "But it won't be the same without you."
Glinda's smile twitched at the corner. Something in her gaze grew distant. She stared at Elphaba with a curious expression that was beautiful and almost tragic. But the greater emotion her friend might have felt was lost in the depthless blue of her eyes. Like everything else, it passed by in an instant before it was fully realized.
She reached up and touched Elphaba's cheek with her hand, brushing her thumb against it. The world slowed to a quiet rhythm, matching the pulse under her skin. Before Elphaba knew what was happening, Glinda leaned up and pressed them together, warmly and ardently kissing her. Her lips were soft and every bit as sweet as Elphaba had remembered them.
There weren't many words that could accurately describe what Elphaba felt at that moment. It was the same abyss, the same oblivion they had willingly found together. If ever she wavered from her convictions that she truly lacked a soul, it was at that moment when Glinda held her beneath the setting sun. Something stirred deep inside of her that was more than flesh and blood. She felt it grasping, clenching, and embracing everything in heart.
Glinda pulled back, but kept Elphaba near, still holding her face in her hands. Their foreheads touched, and Glinda murmured, "Hold out if you can." She kissed her again more softly this time, then whispered, "Hold out, my sweet."
Elphaba was speechless, motionless, breathless. She gazed down at Glinda in wonder. For a long moment, nothing else existed.
It might have lasted forever.
Avaric indelicately cleared his throat, eventually breaking the spell. Elphaba turned, a bit out of her senses, then looked back down at Glinda. Glinda smiled and pressed her hands softly before gently letting them go. She took a few steps back from Elphaba, never taking her eyes off her.
Helplessly devoid of thoughts or words, Elphaba hesitantly turned and staggered back in the direction of the carriage. Avaric was waiting next to the door, a look of triumph on his face. There was a definite twinkle in his hazel eyes, and an approving smile on his lips.
"Miss Elphaba," he said with perfect grace, and offered to help her in.
Elphaba smacked his hand away as she climbed up into the carriage. Everyone inside refused to look at each other, which added to the uncomfortable silence. Boq stared stonily out of the window, and Nessa looked perfectly irritated. She rolled her eyes and shook her head when Elphaba sat down beside her.
Avaric climbed in and squished next to Boq, playfully wrapping an arm around him. He grinned at his friend with handsome teeth, and Boq looked like he wanted to murder him.
Nanny sighed and took out her knitting, clearly fed up by it all. "I don't see what any of you are chuffed about," she said, matter-of-factly. "Those two have been hard for it since I can remember, and probably a good deal before."
But Elphaba wasn't paying attention to Nanny or anyone else for that matter. She was staring out of the back window, watching Glinda's small figure as it faded off in the distance.
RATING: T
GENRE: Horror/Tragedy
DESCRIPTION: What was truth, and what was fiction?
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Screw you, LJ formatting. >=(
"I think we should leave," said Elphaba nervously, pacing the floor near their beds. The clock on their mantle chimed the hour, and Elphaba was growing anxious. Her recent meeting with Ama Clutch and Morrible had put her into a dreadful state. She worried her fingers tightly together as she quickly continued to pace.
Glinda was stretched out on the chaise lounge near the fire, quietly engrossed with a sorcery book. She was unusually devoted to her studies of late, and failed to notice Elphaba's demeanor.
"Mmmm?" said Glinda without looking up. "Did you want to go down to the buttery?"
"Not that," said Elphaba, entirely distracted. "I mean leave this place entirely."
Glinda smirked while casually turning another page in her book. "Bored on a Wednesday evening, darling? That's not like the Elphie I know. Aren't you meant to be studying something that's very important and dull?"
"We can't stay here," Elphaba insisted, less to Glinda than to herself.
"We can if I trap you, which I've obviously done in my weak and helpless condition. Poor Elphie… you must be going stir-crazy. Would you like to go for a walk? I should really take you out on the town, but I must confess that I don't feel like sharing you with anyone else at the moment."
"Glinda," said Elphaba with mounting frustration. "We can't stay here... at this school…in this town. It's not safe for us here anymore." She turned away and started pacing again while sliding her fingers together. "Morrible is planning something… I know it. I can feel it. And I won't be calm until we've gone and left this place for good."
Glinda set her book aside, giving Elphaba her full attention. "You want to leave Shiz?" she calmly asked, folding her arms on the back of the chaise and resting her chin on top of them.
"It's the only way we'll be safe," said Elphaba. "I want to leave tonight."
"I think you're being serious," said Glinda.
"I think I am as well," she replied.
Glinda studied her with a thoughtful expression, then straightened up on the cushions. "You're upset. I can see that. Come here and sit with me. Let's talk about this, Elphaba."
Elphaba obeyed and sat down beside her. Glinda took her hand.
"I've been thinking about the Emerald City as a possible alternative," said Elphaba. "We could take a third-class coach to the city- gain an audience with the Wizard."
"The Wizard?"
Elphaba nodded. "I could take Dillamond's research with me. We could travel right up to the palace. We'll meet the great and terrible Wizard and explain everything that's been going on. Murder… intrigue… a school led by corrupted officials… and best of all, proof that Doctor Dillamond's theories might actually have some merit. These are truths he can't ignore. We'll force him to do something about them."
Glinda stared intently at her. "What if he did nothing at all?"
Elphaba regarded her somewhat darkly, her lips curled at the edge. "You think he's that corrupt, my dear?"
Glinda shrugged her shoulders. "You've never thought well of him before, Elphaba. Why would you trust him now?"
"It's not a question of trust, Glinda; it's a question of authority. He has the power to change things in Oz whether I like it or not. If you can't respect a fraudulent leader, you at least have to respect their ability to influence the actions and opinions of others. He could be a formidable foe or a powerful ally, and it's in our best interest to know where he stands."
They sat like that for a moment in silence. Glinda curled up on the chair. "Then what becomes of us?" she said, turning towards the fire. "What if the Wizard ignores your pleas or threatens something worse? Do we just keep running? Do we go into hiding? Do we take up with a band of insurgents?"
"Don't be foolish," said Elphaba tersely, though she wasn't looking at Glinda. "I would never endanger you like that."
"I never thought you would, Elphie, but you still haven't answered my question."
"Look," said Elphaba, grasping Glinda's arm. "We'll worry about all of this later. The important thing is that we leave here now while we're still relatively in one piece. It doesn't matter where we go, Glinda; we just have to get the hell out of here."
Glinda's gaze fell to her lap. "What of Ama Clutch?"
Elphaba exhaled and stared into the flames. "She's beyond our ability to help anymore."
"Then what about Nanny and Nessarose? Could you abandon them as well?"
"They'll understand," said Elphaba curtly with much more conviction than she felt.
"Elphie," said Glinda, her voice firm and even, "things aren't as simple as that. Who do you think that Morrible will turn on if you or I were to leave? She would quickly come after our friends and family; she's already done it before. What better way could she possibly hurt us, and you know she would. Leaving now might keep us safe, but it isn't solving our problem."
"Keeping you safe is my problem," Elphaba angrily replied.
"By endangering the lives of others in the process? Elphaba, no one is worth that."
"Well what do you suggest we do?" said Elphaba, getting angrier. "Just sit here for the rest of the year while that murderous bitch continues to conspire to ruin both of our lives? It isn't happening! I'd sooner die. Hell and Oz, I'd just as soon as poison you myself! I won't live under that woman's shadow, do you hear me? I won't do it, Glinda."
Glinda sat back and stared at the flames flickering against the grate. She didn't seem terribly affected by Elphaba's anger. Her mood was much more contemplative.
Considering all that Glinda had been through, Elphaba was actually surprised to find her so indifferent about Madame Morrible. The terrified girl haunted by nightmares had retreated somewhere beneath the surface of her porcelain skin. She realized, perhaps, that she was asking too much of Glinda- at least for the time being. Her friend had just gotten her life back together; why would she ruin it on a whim?
Besides, their Headmistress had yet to make a move, which meant that Glinda could happily carry on in semi-blissful ignorance. Laughing… smiling… and casually entertaining flirtations from Boq and his friends.
Elphaba winced when she caught herself thinking so callous and resentful a thought. That isn't fair. You're making this personal. So what if she broke your heart?
Glinda finally turned to look at her, and something in her expression had changed. "I know that, Elphie," she whispered softly, "and I'm not going to ask you to do that. But I do want you to promise me something, because I know you'll keep it."
Elphaba slowly arched an eyebrow. Glinda took her hand again. "Promise me that you won't give up on the people we love and care about."
Elphaba leaned back on the cushions of the chair. "You're asking me to stay."
"I'm asking you to open your eyes and look around you, Elphaba. Everything you've ever wanted is right here in front of you. If you've taught me anything, and you've taught me plenty, it's that there are things in this world worth fighting for. If we start running now, we'll be running forever. Better to stand our ground."
"Are you actually suggesting that we stay at this school and fight this battle head on?"
"I'm saying you can change the world, Elphie, and you don't have to do it alone. You can't trust the Wizard; you've already admitted that. So why not trust someone who is far more deserving?"
Elphaba's lips formed into a snarl, and she flung Glinda's hand away from her. "Oh no you don't," she said with a sneer, getting up off the seat. "I know exactly where this is going, Glinda, and we are not going to have this argument!"
Glinda stood up and reached for her hand, gently pulling her closer. "We're not arguing," she softly replied. "I'm just asking you a question."
"Did Boq put you up to this?" said Elphaba spitefully. "Did he casually let it slip while he was reading you poetry by moonlight?"
"Boq didn't put me up to anything," said Glinda, refusing to let Elphaba offend her. "I asked because I wanted to know, and I think my question has merit. Our friends have stood by us through thick-and-thin, Elphie- don't they deserve a chance to prove themselves to you?"
Elphaba got right up in Glinda's face, her expression a menacing scowl. "Do you honestly think I'd be willing to jeopardize the lives of any of those fools? Would I ever be able to forgive myself if something horrible were to befall them? I've already lost Dr. Dillamond, Glinda, and that was sufficient enough. Better to ally with twisted men that have no names or faces. The losses that are sure to come are far less painful to deal with."
Glinda regarded her with a mixture of pity and something resembling remorse. "Loss is a part of life, Elphaba. I'm afraid you can't get around that. People live and die each day without ever accomplishing anything. Do you think Dr. Dillamond would have stopped his research if he knew that his life was in danger? Or did he believe that his cause was worthy of something greater than himself? If sacrifice is inevitable, Elphaba, then why can't we turn this tragedy into something that's actually meaningful?"
She took Elphaba's face in her hands, willing Elphaba to look at her. "This isn't just our battle anymore. Give your friends a chance."
Elphaba bowed her head in distress, unable to fight Glinda's pull. "I can't," said Elphaba, her voice trembling. "I can't do it, Glinda."
Glinda brought them closer together. "Promise me, Elphaba. Say it."
"I love them," she muttered, utterly defeated.
"Then let them love you back."
They looked at each other in the flickering firelight. Elphaba knew she had lost. She breathed deeply and stared down at Glinda. "Alright," she whispered, "I promise."
Glinda's lips turned up at the corners and her eyes glistened with light. She slowly settled against Elphaba's shoulder and wrapped her arms around her. It had been far too long since she'd held her like this, and it was more than Elphaba could handle. She cautiously slipped her arms around Glinda and held her as tight as she dared. Love was a very irksome thing, and she wasn't sure she approved of it.
"It's still early," Elphaba whispered. "We can go for a walk if you'd like."
"Let's just stay in," said Glinda quietly. "It's a little too cold tonight."
---
Elphaba was settled under her covers, resting her head in her hands. She was much more tired than she thought she'd be, but still, her mind wandered.
Midnight blue configurations swirled all over the ceiling. She looked for shapes or intricate patterns within the splotches of paint. Somewhere at the back of her mind, she heard Morrible's words to her, spoken at the infirmary. You can never see the bigger picture…
But what was she meant to see?
She traced a line of significant events back to the morning of Dillamond's murder. But no… no. She had to go further. Further back than she'd cared to look before this mess had started.
From her earliest moments of doubt and reasoning, she'd watched the world turning around her like a giant broken mechanism. Faces, religions, and governments were lies, cloaked in shadows and conspiracies. She set herself apart from them all, believing that the furthest distance would give her the greatest perspective. And yet, perhaps her mistrusting nature had actually narrowed her vision. Was she so determined to see the storm that she missed the winds that carried it? How far could fate stretch its hand to alter an entire history?
Elphaba could never sufficiently determine why she had ever been born. Why the teeth, or why the green skin? Had there been a purpose to any of it at all? But there she was, the living aberration, so she tried to make the best of it. She was a girl with ambition, and Shiz was supposed to offer her a path she could happily follow. Anger. Revolution. The spark of rebellion. It was a flame that constantly burned inside her.
But she didn't anticipate the death of seclusion, wrapped in an impression of love.
Elphaba closed her eyes and breathed the chill winter air. She had promised Glinda that she would stay. She had vowed not to desert their companions. A foolish decision? Certainly. Why not? Elphaba seemed to be full of them lately. But it wasn't a promise she felt she could regret, not after everything that had happened.
But Madame Morrible…
Elphaba's fingers clenched in her hair; her teeth ground together. Morrible was the thorn that caused her to bleed, and she didn't know how to stop her. Whatever promises she had made to Glinda, Elphaba couldn't live with the woman hovering over their lives. She was certain that Glinda knew this as well, so what was she expecting her to do about it? Commit a murder? Bludgeon the woman while she slept in her monstrous bed? Hide all their friends in some undisclosed location? It all seemed preposterous.
She could try the police, though recent events had proven that they were an incompetent lot. If Morrible was guilty, there was no reason to suspect that justice would be served accordingly. So for the time being, they were stuck where they were, waiting for the Headmistress to make her next move. It made the night just a little bit longer, and the cold a little bit deeper.
Elphaba's thoughts continued to wander when they were interrupted by a small voice on the other side of the room.
"Elphie?"
"What is it?" said Elphaba, turning over to stare at Glinda's back. She didn't realize her roommate was awake. Glinda hadn't made a sound.
"The room's a little cold tonight," Glinda softly whispered.
Elphaba sighed and climbed out of bed, grabbing the extra blanket on top of her. It was a worn old thing that she'd brought from home, but it happened to be Glinda's favorite. She spread it out over Glinda's body, buried beneath the blankets.
"Someday, Miss Glinda, you're going to learn the value of practically over fashion. Quadlings may weave hideous blankets, but at least they keep you warm."
After smoothing and tucking the corners around her, she turned to head back to her bed. A hand reached up and pressed against hers, keeping Elphaba in place.
"I'm still cold," she said quietly, still not looking at Elphaba.
Elphaba stared at her in silent question, then felt her pulse slightly quicken. She swallowed a lump tightly in her throat, then whispered, "Would you like me to light the fire?"
Glinda slid her fingers through Elphaba's. "Just stay with me tonight."
Elphaba nodded and lifted the covers, climbing in next to Glinda. It was much warmer than her own bed had been, but Elphaba wasn't going to argue about it. This was a luxury she had too keenly missed; a joy she'd long been deprived of. Her arms were around Glinda before she could stop herself, and Glinda turned into them instantly. She shivered as Elphaba held her closer, almost as if she were crying.
But Elphaba never felt the sting of tears against her neck. She only felt the warm hands and measured breaths of her friend. Their hearts were beating together once more, and the sensation was entirely overwhelming. Elphaba closed her eyes and smiled.
Maybe there was hope after all.
---
It was a cold but cloudless winter's day near the end of the semester. The students at Shiz were readying for the holidays, marked by the usual tomfoolery that tended to accompany the winter interlude.
Every year, the campus would descend on the southern provinces for the richly spectacular Festival of Lights. They would ride down in carriages to the beautiful villages lit up with the colors of Lurlinemas. It was an opportunity to shop, dance, and delight in the endless reserves of mulled wine. Everyone on campus had planned on attending, and dozens of carriages had been ordered.
Elphaba and Nanny were preparing for the excursion up in Nessa's room. They were bundling her up in several layers, much to Nessa's vexation.
"You've trussed me up like a goose," she complained, scowling up at Elphaba.
"You'll thank me when the temperature drops and you turn into a self-righteous popsicle. Nanny, pass me that scarf, will you? I think we should also bundle her mouth."
"Oh, ha, ha," said Nessa sarcastically. "I can still kick you, you know."
"I'll keep that in mind when I'm lacing your boots," said Elphaba, smiling devilishly.
Nanny was still fussing around the room, gathering every layer of clothing she could think to wrap around Nessa. "Oh Nanny, please don't bother with that hat," said Nessa with a sigh. "The wool is itchy and makes my ears red. Glinda bought me a nicer one in that hatbox over in the corner."
"This one?" said Nanny, lifting the lid and pulling a beautiful mink cloche out. "Gracious Lurline, how much did this cost?"
"How would I know?" said Nessa, blushing. "What a tacky thing to ask. And speak of the devil, where is Glinda? Isn't she supposed to be getting ready?"
"She's with Shenshen and Milla," said Elphaba flatly, kneeling down to tie Nessa's boots. "No doubt they're powdering and dressing in gowns that are wholly impractical for the weather. But she said she'll meet us down at the gate as soon as the carriages get here."
"I'm surprised she's agreed to all of this foolishness, what with the weather so cold," said Nanny.
"Glinda's health is fine, Nanny. She's tired of being cooped up behind doors."
"Well she didn't look all that hearty this morning when that horrible little tik-tok device dropped off that letter for her. The girl looked so pale and deathly sick, I thought she was going to faint."
Elphaba quickly turned and looked up at her. "What? Do you mean Grommetik?"
Nanny came over and placed the mink hat on top of Nessa's head. "Is that what it's called? The noisy machine that Morrible keeps as a pet? How abnormal. But yes- it wheeled up and gave her the note before we went down to breakfast."
"What did it say?" Nessa cut in, staring down at Elphaba.
"I'm not sure. She looked rather nervy, but she smiled when I approached her. 'Just some family business,' she'd said, but Lurline, was she ever pale. I tell you poppies, that awful little machine gets me all varieties of spooked."
"Nanny," said Elphaba, getting to her feet, "would you mind finishing with Nessa? I'm going to go out and find Glinda."
"Why don't I save you the trouble?" said a voice cheerfully through the doorway.
Everyone turned as Glinda entered the room, curtsying with informal grace. She was dressed in a beautiful forest-green cape with white fur for the trim. "Sorry if I'm intruding, but you left the door open and I decided to invite myself in. Oh Nessarose! You have more layers than a Gillikinese wedding cake! What on earth have they done to you?"
"Thank you, Glinda," said Nessa irritably. "I've been complaining for over an hour."
"Well better to have you grumbling now than when you freeze much later!" said Nanny.
"I'm sure she'll be fine," Glinda smiled. "The bonfires should keep her warm. Is everyone ready? Boq and Avaric are waiting down by the carriages."
"Wonderful," said Nessa, stalking towards the door with Nanny rushing behind her.
"Hold on!" said Nanny, trying to catch up with her. "You forgot your other scarf!"
Glinda chuckled and turned to Elphaba, reaching to take her hand. "Shall we, my dear?"
"After you," she replied, gladly taking her arm.
They followed Nanny and Nessa out, lingering a short distance behind. Elphaba casually brought up the note, but Glinda didn't seem overly concerned about it. "It was just a letter from mother. That's all. She was mad with worry when she found out the business of my recent illness. I'm sure father made matters worse by neglecting to write to her immediately."
"Do they quarrel often?" Elphaba asked.
"Whenever they get the opportunity. How they love and adore each other is quite literally beyond me at times."
"Perhaps it's because they compliment each other," said Elphaba with a smile.
"Yes," said Glinda. "Perhaps it is. One can never tell."
They didn't say anything else to each other as they walked outside towards the gate. Students and Amas were wandering about in every different direction. Carriages were already lined up at the curb, decorated with holly and tinsel. They found Avaric and Boq at the front and waved their hands cheerfully in greeting.
Avaric quickly hopped to the door and opened it up for Nessa.
"Ready to brave the fierce Gillikin wilderness?" he said, observing her layers.
"Master Avaric," said Nessa curtly, "I would be grateful if you'd just shut up." He grinned cheekily as he helped her in, and his hands lingered a bit too long on Nessa's slender torso. Nanny was following close behind and shot him a reproving look.
"I'll take it from here, you wicked upstart," she huffed while climbing in.
Avaric tried his best to look innocent. "Just being a gentleman, m'lady."
Boq was about to walk over to Glinda when Avaric grabbed him by the tie. "No time for gallantry," he said in a rush before shoving him into the carriage. "We're wasting enough time already, so hop to it, man!"
"Dammit Avaric!" yelled Boq from within. "You shoved me on Nessa's lap!"
"You can thank me later," said Avaric merrily. "Miss Elphie? Miss Glinda? Who's next?"
"No thank you, Avaric," said Glinda, smiling. "I'm catching a different coach."
"You're not coming with us?" said Elphaba suddenly, turning towards her in shock.
"I promised Shenshen that I'd go with her and try to smooth things over with Pfannee."
Elphaba hadn't anticipated this event, and her features formed into a scowl. "Oh come on, Glinda- you've got to be joking. Why would you go and abandon me for the idiocies of that mincing harlot? Do you think I can bear the ride with these fools without tossing them out of a window?"
"I honestly expected you to congratulate me," said Glinda. "Haven't you always said that I should try to be the better person?"
"Better doesn't equal irrational. You're entirely too forbearing."
"And you're being cynical," said Glinda reproachfully. "Everyone deserves a second chance. Just look at me, Elphie- where would I be if you'd never forgiven me for my cruelties?"
"The Pink Dormitories?" Elphaba quipped. "Forced to endure the tartish company of sixteen obnoxiously chattering girls along with my miserably green self?"
Glinda clasped a hand to her chest, suddenly looking serious. "Gracious Elphaba... what a tragedy! And pink goes so splendidly with green."
Elphaba tried to glare at her, but she ended up laughing instead. It was just the sort of ridiculous comment that Glinda could get away with. Glinda joined in, laughing prettily as she adjusted Elphaba's scarf.
"Now quit being so grumpy," she said primly, folding it into an attractive knot. "You'll have Boq and the others to keep you company, and plenty of windows to throw them out of should the occasion call for it." She stood back and looked at Elphaba's figure, nodding as if in approval. "There…you look wonderful! And I know the journey will be far more pleasant than you think."
"Maybe," said Elphaba with a wry sort of smile. "But it won't be the same without you."
Glinda's smile twitched at the corner. Something in her gaze grew distant. She stared at Elphaba with a curious expression that was beautiful and almost tragic. But the greater emotion her friend might have felt was lost in the depthless blue of her eyes. Like everything else, it passed by in an instant before it was fully realized.
She reached up and touched Elphaba's cheek with her hand, brushing her thumb against it. The world slowed to a quiet rhythm, matching the pulse under her skin. Before Elphaba knew what was happening, Glinda leaned up and pressed them together, warmly and ardently kissing her. Her lips were soft and every bit as sweet as Elphaba had remembered them.
There weren't many words that could accurately describe what Elphaba felt at that moment. It was the same abyss, the same oblivion they had willingly found together. If ever she wavered from her convictions that she truly lacked a soul, it was at that moment when Glinda held her beneath the setting sun. Something stirred deep inside of her that was more than flesh and blood. She felt it grasping, clenching, and embracing everything in heart.
Glinda pulled back, but kept Elphaba near, still holding her face in her hands. Their foreheads touched, and Glinda murmured, "Hold out if you can." She kissed her again more softly this time, then whispered, "Hold out, my sweet."
Elphaba was speechless, motionless, breathless. She gazed down at Glinda in wonder. For a long moment, nothing else existed.
It might have lasted forever.
Avaric indelicately cleared his throat, eventually breaking the spell. Elphaba turned, a bit out of her senses, then looked back down at Glinda. Glinda smiled and pressed her hands softly before gently letting them go. She took a few steps back from Elphaba, never taking her eyes off her.
Helplessly devoid of thoughts or words, Elphaba hesitantly turned and staggered back in the direction of the carriage. Avaric was waiting next to the door, a look of triumph on his face. There was a definite twinkle in his hazel eyes, and an approving smile on his lips.
"Miss Elphaba," he said with perfect grace, and offered to help her in.
Elphaba smacked his hand away as she climbed up into the carriage. Everyone inside refused to look at each other, which added to the uncomfortable silence. Boq stared stonily out of the window, and Nessa looked perfectly irritated. She rolled her eyes and shook her head when Elphaba sat down beside her.
Avaric climbed in and squished next to Boq, playfully wrapping an arm around him. He grinned at his friend with handsome teeth, and Boq looked like he wanted to murder him.
Nanny sighed and took out her knitting, clearly fed up by it all. "I don't see what any of you are chuffed about," she said, matter-of-factly. "Those two have been hard for it since I can remember, and probably a good deal before."
But Elphaba wasn't paying attention to Nanny or anyone else for that matter. She was staring out of the back window, watching Glinda's small figure as it faded off in the distance.