Fic: Regrets I Have None (Harry Potter)
Title: Regrets I Have None
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: K+
Genres: gen, het if you squint
Recipient: pingulotta
Prompt: Harry Potter, Helga Hufflepuff and Salazar Slytherin, Not the way I'd hoped we'd meet...
Summary: Hogwarts needs Slytherin back and Helga Hufflepuff is out on a mission to convince him of it.
A/N: Holiday Fic Request Meme. One of the prompts that gave me a few headaches but pingulotta incidentally helped to make this story happen anyway, so a big thank you! Hope everyone else likes it as she does ;)
Regrets I Have None
“So much time should not have passed
At least not that way and not so fast
It wasn't always easy, it wasn't always fun
But it was always worth it, regrets I have none
It was always worth it, regrets I have none.”
Milow, “Darkness Ahead and Behind”
Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years ago, there were four wizards that resolved to teach their wisdom and knowledge to younger wizards, children, to help them make their way and take their rightful places in the wizarding world. They were Godric Gryffindor, brave and bold, though also impulsive at times and Rowena Ravenclaw, intelligent and wise, though also strict and intimidating. Salazar Slytherin, clever and determined but always so, so proud and Helga Hufflepuff, honest and compassionate but too trusting in the good of people completed the quartett.
So they founded a school in a castle somewhere in the wilds of the Scottish mountains and named it Hogwarts. They welcomed their first students and taught them together and apart. They sorted them into Houses and gave them a home away from, befitting their personal dispositions and skills. They made great wizards out of them who knew how to be kind and stern and when to show themselves and when to keep their skills concealed from the world, the ordinary people which they called Muggles.
Many of their students were born of parents the same as them; wizards and witches that were part of a long, long line of magical families. Those were called pure-bloods. Some of their students were born of Muggle parents, some had a Muggle parent and a wizard parent and they were called Muggle-borns and half-bloods and if anyone called them mudbloods, they always had to answer to their Head of House. In those days, wizards needed to keep close ranks because the Muggles were afraid of them. They could not afford division within their community.
There was, however, one wizard among the Founders who did not trust Muggles and their children, be they of wizarding talent or not, who did not think magic belonged in the hands of descendants of people who had hunted him and tried to kill him because they were afraid of what he was. Slytherin argued with the other Founders, tried to persuade them to stop taking Muggle-borns and half-bloods in, and dissent grew. Some people said there was an almighty duel between him and Gryffindor, others said there was not but everyone saw him leave in anger. And no one spoke of him again.Which is why Helga Hufflepuff told everyone her travels to the Lowlands involved a cooking spell book she had heard being whispered off that might possible help to cure whatever has befallen Rowena Ravenclaw since three weeks ago. Telling them she would seek out Salazar Slytherin to try to persuade them to come home would only have ended in screaming and tears and nothing of that would help Rowena get better.
It had taken her the better part of a year to find Salazar’s current hiding place, a small barony in the Western Lowlands, close to the coast of the Irish Sea where he seems to have taken up teaching the Baron’s son and heir. Even if no one ever believes her, it pays to be on good footing with house elves.
And even if no one ever believes her, simply apparating inside anyone’s home - Muggle or not - is simply impolite and not exactly fair. What example would she set for her students if she did not show the qualities she asks of them every day?
Well. That and that since the Baron is a wizard, there are also strong shield charms placed around the property. Battling shield charms never was her forte.
But maybe a patronus would do the trick. Just to see if the coast is clear and maybe if the Baron’s son is in residence. He must be a lonely child and maybe a few of her patented honey curls can ease his loneliness a little. So…
“You will regret this! Your children will regret this. Your grandchildren will regret this. All of your descendants will regret this!”
Apparently, a patronus will not be needed today, after all.
This is possible the most undignified way she has ever seen Salazar Slytherin. Practically spewed out by the castle gate’s heavy oak wood doors unto the cobblestone bridge across the moat, he is waving his fist at the gate, booming and screaming at said doors. If only her fellow Founders could see him now. Rowena would maybe recover from the laughter about this alone and Godric might… on second thought, maybe not.
The way Salazar now resorted to hopping about and screaming very, very nasty things about the Baron’s mother and his son’s intellectual prowess would only inspire Godric to be downright mean to Salazar and she does not want to see what a Salazar Slytherin being insulted thus by Gryffindor is capable of doing.
After a few more minutes of this, she feels herself compelled to save Salazar from his clamoring - lest he dies of a sudden and very violent stroke - by politely clearing her throat and saying, “Are you sure you should be saying such unkind things about a boy of ten that you have been tutoring for a year, dear?”
As he whirls around, robes billowing in the cold December wind. As he stares at her down his nose, she knows she should be afraid of him, as afraid as his students often were when those eyes blazing with cold fury were staring at them. But she never could muster up that sort of fear of a man she knew so well.
After trying to stare her into submission and failing, he hisses at her, “My dearest, dearest Lady Helga, that boy is nothing but a stupid, moronic, little monster.”
She frowns and tsks at him, as she always did during the argument they seemed to have had for as long as they knew each other. “Nonsense, Salazar, no child is a “monster”. Some only respond to a lack of love and caring with…”
Glaring at her, he starts to enumerate sins, ticking them off with his fingers, “He set my beard on fire. He destroyed my most priced book with a pot of solving potion. He keeps transfiguring into a mouse and eating all my robes. He is a monster, Helga!”
Oh, really. Did he really believe he could make her believe a child to be a monster by telling her about things that sound exceedingly clever, if a little misguided? She allows herself a smile. “That did not sound like a stupid boy. Actually, that sounded like a very smart boy that just needs…”
“Merlin be damned!” Oh did he really have to resort to profanity? “He is the degenerated off-spring of a family consisting of nothing but degenerated off-springs. If there really is any place like this Hell thing, my bloody schoolroom was it!”
That was not necessary. For a moment, she considers telling him she does not approve of swear words but then again, she certainly is aware of the fact that he is none of her students. Despite this, she already did try to bread it out of him at Hogwarts. It was one of the only things not even hard work and diligence could solve.
She chooses to try a different approach. “He is a pure-blood boy, is he not?”
Annoyance is visible in his face now, and she knows he knows very well where she wants to go with her remark. She never claimed of herself to be particularly hard to read. “I never said all pure-bloods are worth to be members of my House, Helga.” That is a point for him, she has to give him that. “All I said was that you cannot trust a Muggle or a Muggle-born wizard and therefore should not be taking them into Hogwarts.” Which is not better at all.
“Salazar,” she says, wanting to reach for his arm and put a comforting hand on it, “we all know how Muggles treated you and what they tried to do to you before Hogwarts was founded but that certainly is no reason to…”
“Why are you here? Did he send you?” There is a moment she is at a loss of who “he” is supposed to be but well, of course he would mean Godric. Whatever it was that transpired between them, it must have been awful. Or at least the contempt in his voice led to strengthening her believe that it was.
She shakes her head, not able for the life of her to keep the wistfulness and worry out of it that has gripped her ever since Rowena started to feel so unwell three weeks ago. “No. Neither did Rowena. But Salazar… she is ill. She needs all of our help.”
All she had hoped for was that he showed some compassion for her friend, their friend but all he does is give her a cynical laugh and saying, “Of course you’d come here to help someone else. To come here because you… never mind.”
Oh that is just silly. Whatever he had wanted to say, he could. As if there was anything he couldn’t tell her, the one person in all of Hogwarts that does not judge. She huffs. “Say what is on your mind. I cannot believe I need to remind you that I would not pass judgment on you.”
She is not sure but she thinks she heard him mutter, “Oh, you would, this time.” under his breath before he tells her, “Never mind. It wasn’t important. But please, tell me why I should go back to that place after everything?”
You should go back, she thinks, because Rowena might be dying, even though no one has the guts to say so, including herself. You should go back because we might need all our strength to keep Rowena alive. You should go back because your House is starting to behave most dangerously impolite to the others and they need a firm hand.
That is not what she says, though. What she says, is “Hogwarts needs you, Salazar. We need you.” I need you.
And that scares her more than anything.
Enough that she is almost glad when he distracts her with asking, “Is any of this known to the other Founders?”
She clears her throat a little awkwardly. “Well, no but I thought…”
There’s disapproval in his face and it makes her wish she never came here because in the end, everyone will think of her as a fool that just cannot admit defeat in her judgment of the human nature. It is not actually mended when he says, “Has anyone ever told you when you take care of others too much, you cannot take care of yourself anymore?”
It is just not fair to ask her anything like this. She raises her chin and squares herself and wishes she were as tall and imposing and beautiful as Rowena. “Caring for others is caring for myself.”
“I do not think,” he says slowly and shaking his head, “that anyone appreciates you as half as they should.”
And it is not fair how he is obviously allowed to push her off kilter so, with only a few words and a gravel softness to his voice she has never heard before. She resorts to something only very rarely uses. Sarcasm. “Except you, of course?”
He raises his eyebrow and the pinched, haughty look is back, as if to say, “you foolish little badger”. Indeed he tells her, “Including me.” Of course he would say that. Of course he would make her see that he is a master of sarcasm and irony and how dare she… “Come with me, Helga and give me opportunity to appreciate you as I should.”
That, obviously, was not sarcasm. It hurts, just a little, to see that he wants her to come with him and know that she would never leave Hogwarts, never leave her friends’ side. But at least it gives her enough courage to muster up to ask him, “Come with me, Salazar and give others an opportunity to appreciate you at all.”
He’s silent after that, looking at her with something that might or might not be pain and suddenly she starts to feel the December cold of the wind sweeping around them seeping through her robes. There will be snow tonight around Hogwarts, she thinks distractedly and yearns to be back, together with him.
And even though she knew as soon as she’d asked him to return with her that he would say no, there’s a stab of pain when he shakes his head and says, “Helga…”
Suddenly, all she wants to do is salvage her dignity, just this once do something only for herself because she needs to. She needs to come out of this unscathed at least on the surface, so she can look whole for everyone who needs her back at Hogwarts. For the first time, in her entire life, the smile she pastes on her face is not a real one. “So, uh…” she clears her throat, because lying never comes with a clear voice to her, “this is not the way I’d hoped we’d meet… but I’m glad we did at all.”
Maybe that was just a mistake. But maybe she did the right thing. The tone in which he says, “I am, too,” will probably forever keep her wondering. At least he does her a favor and gives a huff before continuing with, “But I will not…” No, no, it is not better at all. “Oh fine. I might have something that could help her.” Apparently, Rowena is right. If there’s any indication of her face being an open book, his grudging admission was one. “You can have that but I will not come back.”
Even though it leaves her strangely empty, his offer is at least what she came for. So if she has to go back with a broken heart, maybe at least she can take something home that will help her friend recover. To say her heart is broken surely is a hopeless exaggeration, anyway. “That is alright.” Even though it is not. But then again… “Just because you are out of Hogwarts, it does not mean you are out of the world, after all.”
She expects him to tell her that if he said he will not ever go back, it also means he will never want to think of it or anything else belonging to it again. But he surprises her with smiling a faint smile - a rare genuine one - and agreeing with her. “No, it does not.”
So… there’s still business to be sorted out. Business is better than talk about Hogwarts or staying and leaving and much more important, too. Also, it’s becoming dashed cold. “Salazar… would you mind going somewhere with considerably less wind? It’s not that I mind isolation spells but…”
“There’s an inn two miles down the road. Muggle, so naturally you’re going to love it.” That he tells her about it at all means it is the only one they would not have to apparate several miles to says that it must be the only one in a radius of several… or maybe he just thinks he needs to do her a favor by abstaining from hating Muggles just so… “It is close enough to walk.” Oh. Oh that is what it is about.
“I would be delighted if you would escort me there, my lord,” she says and even offers him her arm and one of the honey curls she still has in her basket.
“Gladly, my lady,” he growls but the delight she sees glowing in his eyes for a very short moment tells her he does not mind walking her to the inn… that, and the honey curl. Come to think of it, they always were his favorites.
“So,” she begins and smiles up at him, “about your offer…”
“Ah yes,” he continues and lectures, “my offer. I would suggest a potion consisting of…”
Ah, whatever it is that he is about to suggest, it is most important that he does it walking to a Muggle inn with her, eating more than his fair share of her honey curls and not once letting go of her arm. Maybe he will never come back to Hogwarts. But now and then, the wish to leave Hogwarts overcomes her and what better reason to leave the castle to visit an old friend? There will always be ways to meet again and that, despite everything, makes her happy. That is more than she ever asked for, after all.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: K+
Genres: gen, het if you squint
Recipient: pingulotta
Prompt: Harry Potter, Helga Hufflepuff and Salazar Slytherin, Not the way I'd hoped we'd meet...
Summary: Hogwarts needs Slytherin back and Helga Hufflepuff is out on a mission to convince him of it.
A/N: Holiday Fic Request Meme. One of the prompts that gave me a few headaches but pingulotta incidentally helped to make this story happen anyway, so a big thank you! Hope everyone else likes it as she does ;)
Regrets I Have None
“So much time should not have passed
At least not that way and not so fast
It wasn't always easy, it wasn't always fun
But it was always worth it, regrets I have none
It was always worth it, regrets I have none.”
Milow, “Darkness Ahead and Behind”
Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years ago, there were four wizards that resolved to teach their wisdom and knowledge to younger wizards, children, to help them make their way and take their rightful places in the wizarding world. They were Godric Gryffindor, brave and bold, though also impulsive at times and Rowena Ravenclaw, intelligent and wise, though also strict and intimidating. Salazar Slytherin, clever and determined but always so, so proud and Helga Hufflepuff, honest and compassionate but too trusting in the good of people completed the quartett.
So they founded a school in a castle somewhere in the wilds of the Scottish mountains and named it Hogwarts. They welcomed their first students and taught them together and apart. They sorted them into Houses and gave them a home away from, befitting their personal dispositions and skills. They made great wizards out of them who knew how to be kind and stern and when to show themselves and when to keep their skills concealed from the world, the ordinary people which they called Muggles.
Many of their students were born of parents the same as them; wizards and witches that were part of a long, long line of magical families. Those were called pure-bloods. Some of their students were born of Muggle parents, some had a Muggle parent and a wizard parent and they were called Muggle-borns and half-bloods and if anyone called them mudbloods, they always had to answer to their Head of House. In those days, wizards needed to keep close ranks because the Muggles were afraid of them. They could not afford division within their community.
There was, however, one wizard among the Founders who did not trust Muggles and their children, be they of wizarding talent or not, who did not think magic belonged in the hands of descendants of people who had hunted him and tried to kill him because they were afraid of what he was. Slytherin argued with the other Founders, tried to persuade them to stop taking Muggle-borns and half-bloods in, and dissent grew. Some people said there was an almighty duel between him and Gryffindor, others said there was not but everyone saw him leave in anger. And no one spoke of him again.Which is why Helga Hufflepuff told everyone her travels to the Lowlands involved a cooking spell book she had heard being whispered off that might possible help to cure whatever has befallen Rowena Ravenclaw since three weeks ago. Telling them she would seek out Salazar Slytherin to try to persuade them to come home would only have ended in screaming and tears and nothing of that would help Rowena get better.
It had taken her the better part of a year to find Salazar’s current hiding place, a small barony in the Western Lowlands, close to the coast of the Irish Sea where he seems to have taken up teaching the Baron’s son and heir. Even if no one ever believes her, it pays to be on good footing with house elves.
And even if no one ever believes her, simply apparating inside anyone’s home - Muggle or not - is simply impolite and not exactly fair. What example would she set for her students if she did not show the qualities she asks of them every day?
Well. That and that since the Baron is a wizard, there are also strong shield charms placed around the property. Battling shield charms never was her forte.
But maybe a patronus would do the trick. Just to see if the coast is clear and maybe if the Baron’s son is in residence. He must be a lonely child and maybe a few of her patented honey curls can ease his loneliness a little. So…
“You will regret this! Your children will regret this. Your grandchildren will regret this. All of your descendants will regret this!”
Apparently, a patronus will not be needed today, after all.
This is possible the most undignified way she has ever seen Salazar Slytherin. Practically spewed out by the castle gate’s heavy oak wood doors unto the cobblestone bridge across the moat, he is waving his fist at the gate, booming and screaming at said doors. If only her fellow Founders could see him now. Rowena would maybe recover from the laughter about this alone and Godric might… on second thought, maybe not.
The way Salazar now resorted to hopping about and screaming very, very nasty things about the Baron’s mother and his son’s intellectual prowess would only inspire Godric to be downright mean to Salazar and she does not want to see what a Salazar Slytherin being insulted thus by Gryffindor is capable of doing.
After a few more minutes of this, she feels herself compelled to save Salazar from his clamoring - lest he dies of a sudden and very violent stroke - by politely clearing her throat and saying, “Are you sure you should be saying such unkind things about a boy of ten that you have been tutoring for a year, dear?”
As he whirls around, robes billowing in the cold December wind. As he stares at her down his nose, she knows she should be afraid of him, as afraid as his students often were when those eyes blazing with cold fury were staring at them. But she never could muster up that sort of fear of a man she knew so well.
After trying to stare her into submission and failing, he hisses at her, “My dearest, dearest Lady Helga, that boy is nothing but a stupid, moronic, little monster.”
She frowns and tsks at him, as she always did during the argument they seemed to have had for as long as they knew each other. “Nonsense, Salazar, no child is a “monster”. Some only respond to a lack of love and caring with…”
Glaring at her, he starts to enumerate sins, ticking them off with his fingers, “He set my beard on fire. He destroyed my most priced book with a pot of solving potion. He keeps transfiguring into a mouse and eating all my robes. He is a monster, Helga!”
Oh, really. Did he really believe he could make her believe a child to be a monster by telling her about things that sound exceedingly clever, if a little misguided? She allows herself a smile. “That did not sound like a stupid boy. Actually, that sounded like a very smart boy that just needs…”
“Merlin be damned!” Oh did he really have to resort to profanity? “He is the degenerated off-spring of a family consisting of nothing but degenerated off-springs. If there really is any place like this Hell thing, my bloody schoolroom was it!”
That was not necessary. For a moment, she considers telling him she does not approve of swear words but then again, she certainly is aware of the fact that he is none of her students. Despite this, she already did try to bread it out of him at Hogwarts. It was one of the only things not even hard work and diligence could solve.
She chooses to try a different approach. “He is a pure-blood boy, is he not?”
Annoyance is visible in his face now, and she knows he knows very well where she wants to go with her remark. She never claimed of herself to be particularly hard to read. “I never said all pure-bloods are worth to be members of my House, Helga.” That is a point for him, she has to give him that. “All I said was that you cannot trust a Muggle or a Muggle-born wizard and therefore should not be taking them into Hogwarts.” Which is not better at all.
“Salazar,” she says, wanting to reach for his arm and put a comforting hand on it, “we all know how Muggles treated you and what they tried to do to you before Hogwarts was founded but that certainly is no reason to…”
“Why are you here? Did he send you?” There is a moment she is at a loss of who “he” is supposed to be but well, of course he would mean Godric. Whatever it was that transpired between them, it must have been awful. Or at least the contempt in his voice led to strengthening her believe that it was.
She shakes her head, not able for the life of her to keep the wistfulness and worry out of it that has gripped her ever since Rowena started to feel so unwell three weeks ago. “No. Neither did Rowena. But Salazar… she is ill. She needs all of our help.”
All she had hoped for was that he showed some compassion for her friend, their friend but all he does is give her a cynical laugh and saying, “Of course you’d come here to help someone else. To come here because you… never mind.”
Oh that is just silly. Whatever he had wanted to say, he could. As if there was anything he couldn’t tell her, the one person in all of Hogwarts that does not judge. She huffs. “Say what is on your mind. I cannot believe I need to remind you that I would not pass judgment on you.”
She is not sure but she thinks she heard him mutter, “Oh, you would, this time.” under his breath before he tells her, “Never mind. It wasn’t important. But please, tell me why I should go back to that place after everything?”
You should go back, she thinks, because Rowena might be dying, even though no one has the guts to say so, including herself. You should go back because we might need all our strength to keep Rowena alive. You should go back because your House is starting to behave most dangerously impolite to the others and they need a firm hand.
That is not what she says, though. What she says, is “Hogwarts needs you, Salazar. We need you.” I need you.
And that scares her more than anything.
Enough that she is almost glad when he distracts her with asking, “Is any of this known to the other Founders?”
She clears her throat a little awkwardly. “Well, no but I thought…”
There’s disapproval in his face and it makes her wish she never came here because in the end, everyone will think of her as a fool that just cannot admit defeat in her judgment of the human nature. It is not actually mended when he says, “Has anyone ever told you when you take care of others too much, you cannot take care of yourself anymore?”
It is just not fair to ask her anything like this. She raises her chin and squares herself and wishes she were as tall and imposing and beautiful as Rowena. “Caring for others is caring for myself.”
“I do not think,” he says slowly and shaking his head, “that anyone appreciates you as half as they should.”
And it is not fair how he is obviously allowed to push her off kilter so, with only a few words and a gravel softness to his voice she has never heard before. She resorts to something only very rarely uses. Sarcasm. “Except you, of course?”
He raises his eyebrow and the pinched, haughty look is back, as if to say, “you foolish little badger”. Indeed he tells her, “Including me.” Of course he would say that. Of course he would make her see that he is a master of sarcasm and irony and how dare she… “Come with me, Helga and give me opportunity to appreciate you as I should.”
That, obviously, was not sarcasm. It hurts, just a little, to see that he wants her to come with him and know that she would never leave Hogwarts, never leave her friends’ side. But at least it gives her enough courage to muster up to ask him, “Come with me, Salazar and give others an opportunity to appreciate you at all.”
He’s silent after that, looking at her with something that might or might not be pain and suddenly she starts to feel the December cold of the wind sweeping around them seeping through her robes. There will be snow tonight around Hogwarts, she thinks distractedly and yearns to be back, together with him.
And even though she knew as soon as she’d asked him to return with her that he would say no, there’s a stab of pain when he shakes his head and says, “Helga…”
Suddenly, all she wants to do is salvage her dignity, just this once do something only for herself because she needs to. She needs to come out of this unscathed at least on the surface, so she can look whole for everyone who needs her back at Hogwarts. For the first time, in her entire life, the smile she pastes on her face is not a real one. “So, uh…” she clears her throat, because lying never comes with a clear voice to her, “this is not the way I’d hoped we’d meet… but I’m glad we did at all.”
Maybe that was just a mistake. But maybe she did the right thing. The tone in which he says, “I am, too,” will probably forever keep her wondering. At least he does her a favor and gives a huff before continuing with, “But I will not…” No, no, it is not better at all. “Oh fine. I might have something that could help her.” Apparently, Rowena is right. If there’s any indication of her face being an open book, his grudging admission was one. “You can have that but I will not come back.”
Even though it leaves her strangely empty, his offer is at least what she came for. So if she has to go back with a broken heart, maybe at least she can take something home that will help her friend recover. To say her heart is broken surely is a hopeless exaggeration, anyway. “That is alright.” Even though it is not. But then again… “Just because you are out of Hogwarts, it does not mean you are out of the world, after all.”
She expects him to tell her that if he said he will not ever go back, it also means he will never want to think of it or anything else belonging to it again. But he surprises her with smiling a faint smile - a rare genuine one - and agreeing with her. “No, it does not.”
So… there’s still business to be sorted out. Business is better than talk about Hogwarts or staying and leaving and much more important, too. Also, it’s becoming dashed cold. “Salazar… would you mind going somewhere with considerably less wind? It’s not that I mind isolation spells but…”
“There’s an inn two miles down the road. Muggle, so naturally you’re going to love it.” That he tells her about it at all means it is the only one they would not have to apparate several miles to says that it must be the only one in a radius of several… or maybe he just thinks he needs to do her a favor by abstaining from hating Muggles just so… “It is close enough to walk.” Oh. Oh that is what it is about.
“I would be delighted if you would escort me there, my lord,” she says and even offers him her arm and one of the honey curls she still has in her basket.
“Gladly, my lady,” he growls but the delight she sees glowing in his eyes for a very short moment tells her he does not mind walking her to the inn… that, and the honey curl. Come to think of it, they always were his favorites.
“So,” she begins and smiles up at him, “about your offer…”
“Ah yes,” he continues and lectures, “my offer. I would suggest a potion consisting of…”
Ah, whatever it is that he is about to suggest, it is most important that he does it walking to a Muggle inn with her, eating more than his fair share of her honey curls and not once letting go of her arm. Maybe he will never come back to Hogwarts. But now and then, the wish to leave Hogwarts overcomes her and what better reason to leave the castle to visit an old friend? There will always be ways to meet again and that, despite everything, makes her happy. That is more than she ever asked for, after all.