Fanfic100: #023 Lovers
He watches her. Well, her and the little boy named Aaron James Lorne. They arrived three days ago and at first he hadn't even wanted to look at his grandson… and the moment he did look he knew why. He’d simply been afraid he might actually like the kid… and he did. The moment he saw Aaron the first time he’d known Mary had been right about every single thing. He had been an idiot and Aaron was a beautiful little boy - even if he had to admit that the only things he seemed to have inherited from the Lorne side had been his hair and his smile - and… he had been an idiot.
Of course he didn’t say any of this out loud but he has the uncanny feeling that Mary had guessed it anyway. Ever since the moment Evan and his wife had crossed the threshold she had been incredibly smug. Not too much but just enough for him to detect it and be unnerved by it. So… yeah, her little speech had made him pick up the pictures and take a good look at his son for the first time in two years.
To be honest… it had surprised him. How little his son had changed, that is. Well… how little and how much, more like. Of course Evan had still looked like Evan, every inch a Lorne but there had been… he still doesn’t want to call it a glow because that just sounds cliché and tacky and corny and none of these are descriptions fitting a member of the Lorne family. But yeah, Evan had looked… different. Relaxed and happy... much more than he used to look for as long as he can remember it.
Evan had always been a true Lorne; focused, sensible, rational. Hannah, Evan’s sister, had been a lot more outgoing and spontaneous, following Mary’s footsteps in a career in arts, though not as a teacher. But Evan… Evan had known what had been expected from him since his early childhood and had dutifully worked hard to get into the Air Force Academy and become a top-notch officer. Never taking a wrong step - or at least no wrong steps big enough his father would be told about - and being the best at everything he tried… and then he just had to go and throw it all away.
Frowning he focuses again on Evan’s wife and son and… it’s becoming harder with every moment to keep up the disappointment and bitterness that had kept him from talking to Evan for two years. Oh well. If he’s honest… the moment Evan and Laura had stepped into his house and the first thing Laura had done was place little Aaron in his arms without batting an eye had made him feel very much like an idiot for telling himself for so long that his son had made an irrevocable mistake.
Inexplicably he’d adored the little boy from the first moment he saw him… and the tentative grudging respect he had had felt himself developing for Laura Cadman-Lorne the moment he had finally allowed himself to be just a tad more rational about everything had grown a considerable notch.
She’d just breezed in, hugged his wife - as if they’d known each other for years, actually - and he’d stood on the sidelines, feeling out of place… until she’d gone and given him an irresistible grin and handed him Aaron. At first he’d wanted to give her an earful for that kind of insolence - she’s still a Captain of the USMC, after all, and he’s senior to her in rank and age - but then he had caught his son looking first at her and then at him and it had dawned on him what Mary had meant when she had told him that Evan had married Laura because he loved her.
It had also dawned on him that Laura had married Evan because she loved him as well. He doesn’t even know what made him see that but… “And to think you could have missed all of this.”
Not really succeeding in avoiding jumping at the voice suddenly coming from his right, he decides not to look at his son. He’s pretty sure he’d see smug satisfaction there that Evan obviously discovered a way to crack his father famous stoic façade and he doesn’t want to deal with that now. “I had my reasons.”
“I know, dad.” After that, Evan doesn’t say anything for quite a while and so they now both watch Laura and Aaron for a while. She sits in a deck chair overlooking the Bay with her son leaning his head on her shoulder, facing away from them. Once in a while, she turns her head to the side and softly kisses Aaron or gently rubs his back. It’s a very peaceful picture and it reminds him of Mary’s and his first weeks with Evan. He’s about to finally turn his head to watch at his son watching his wife but then he hears Evan taking a deep breath and somehow that keeps him from facing him. “But just because they were your reasons, it didn’t make them right.”
Well. That was to be expected. Until now Evan had held back, been civil, even friendly and nice. But even Evan can’t hold back with things that occupy him for ever. He should have known that their two-year silence and his part in it would re-surface sooner or later and they would have to talk about it. It was just… he never thought that his son would use this moment to break the topic. And to be honest, the tone does bother him. Of course at first glance it was matter-of-fact, calm, composed… but he knows his son long enough to hear the undertones of mostly disappointment but also a little bitterness.
Even though he knew the two years must have left behind a rift between them a few days of vacation can’t close, these undertones - especially the bitterness - catch him off-guard enough that he finally turns his head to look at Evan. He finds his son still looking into Laura’s and Aaron’s direction but on his face there’s a frown that somehow tells him that at the moment Evan isn't really seeing them. It shouldn’t be like this, he realizes. Evan shouldn’t be here arguing with him when his own little family is sitting over there, looking like nothing in the world could disturb their peace. He takes a deep breath. “Look, son…”
“Wanna know why I called a year ago, dad?” Evan suddenly interrupts him and now he is looking at him. His first impulse is to admonish him for interrupting his father… and a higher-ranking officer but then he reminds himself that this is neither the place nor the time to let this escalate again.
So instead of barking a reprimand at his son he takes another deep breath and says, “Sure,” trying to sound as casual as possible.
Evan runs a hand through his hair and shortly looks back at Laura and now he does see her. He can judge that from the momentary softening of Evan’s face when his eyes find Laura before turning back to face him. “Laura’s father died. In a car accident. It… made me realize a few things.” Another look at Laura from Evan and he has the feeling that for a short moment, in his mind Evan is back at that point a year ago, probably for the first time realizing what “for better or worse” really means in a marriage.
But then a grin passes over Evan’s face and his son looks back at him again. “Well, that and Laura. She can be pretty… convincing when she wants to.” The little smirk Evan gives him tells him clearly how convincing Laura can be and that… surprises him a little. Of course he had also been the recipient of Laura’s forwardness and… brashness but the way Evan said it and the smirk that followed… somehow it says there’s a lot more to Laura than just a little cheekiness. It actually gets him interested.
He raises his eyebrow. “Really?”
Evan grimaces. “Really. Let’s just say that… one of her best lines was, quote, ‘I swear if you don’t call your goddamn father right now it’s gonna cost you so much more than just a night on the couch.’ You should have seen her face when she said that.” They look at each other and find themselves starting to chuckle at the same time.
The sound makes Laura turn to them, a little frown on her face. She opens her mouth to say something but he catches Evan giving her reassuring look and a little smile and with a little rolling of her eyes she turns back to looking out at the Bay and concentrating on Aaron. For a moment… he feels strangely like he is intruding into something very private. He feels himself compelled to break the momentary silence by smirking and saying, “So you called us because a little Marine threatened to throw you out of your bedroom?”
At first Evan returns his grin but then he becomes serious again. He shakes his head. “No, I called because she was right. Dad… I had reasons for not talking to you as well. But just because they were my reasons it didn’t make them right either.”
He’s at a momentary loss for words because this… is basically Evan saying sorry. And that means things are threatening to get emotional and all those things he never was very good with. Thankfully enough Evan doesn’t say more than this and he realizes that now is probably his turn to say sorry. However… there’s still something he would like to know. After taking another second to consider how to phrase it, he simply says, “Is she worth it?”
Instead of an outright answer - which he already knows anyway, having seen Evan and Laura together, also in moments where they thought no one was watching - Evan only replies, “What do you think?”
Right. That’s not what he expected. But then again Evan had been improving on being not quite as predictable as he used to be ever since he mentioned Laura for the first time. Maybe… maybe now it’s time to be a little surprising himself. “Well… she’s pretty decent. For a Marine, I mean.” And that is as close as he’ll ever come to saying sorry. He knows that Evan and Laura deserve more than that but sometimes… you really can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
Evan… Evan did get it; after a moment of not quite catching the implied meaning of this casual sentence. The smile on his face… clearly shows that and when he says, “Glad to hear it, dad,” he thinks he can hear that Evan is glad about more than that he doesn’t find Laura to be a failure. For some reason… he suddenly feels like a big weight falls off his shoulders. Evan must have felt it, too, since he takes a deep breath, as if this is the first time in years he can breathe freely.
However… Lorne men were never known for talking too much about their feeling or anything close to that so it doesn’t irritate him when Evan looks over to Laura and Aaron and looks very much like he’d love to walk over to them. But before he finally turns to go, he adds, “Come on, dad, join us.”
It’s a genuine invitation, maybe even a subtle plea, he can see that much, but right now… he doesn’t really feel like company, not even that of his son or his wife or the grandson he adores so very much. Hoping his son will understand, he replies, “No, I’m fine with watching, thanks.”
“Oh fine, be that way,” his son says but the smile that accompanies it takes the sting out of those words. Then Evan turns to go and walks over to the deck chair where Laura still sits holding Aaron against her shoulder, now smiling and talking to the little boy. When Evan joins them, he bends down to give Laura a kiss and she turns around to meet him halfway, he realizes that he is indeed absolutely fine with watching; watching his son being with his family - and happy.
~*~
TBC in Friday Night.