FanFic100: #080 Why?
Title: You got careless
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Characters: Cadman/Lorne
Prompt: #080 Why?
Word Count: 2.576
Rating: K+
Summary: It's been five years since Aislinn and Christopher Cadman were born... let's see where Laura Cadman and Evan Lorne stand now.
Author's Notes: So, here we are with last of the Twiniverse!stories... or okay, the pre-last. There's still a little Lorne/Cadman porn piece begging to be written... we'll see about that one once I got my real life under control again ;) This one takes place about five years after "The kids are fast asleep" and is a little wrap-up to the series. Although... one of you (I think it was asugar... BTW, where are you? You haven't abandoned us fanfiction writers, right? I have a really great recommendation of an up and coming author for you ;)) once said she'd love to see the twins in Atlantis. Mh... mackenziesmomma (whom I also own the lyrics for this chapter to *bows before her beta) had a nice suggestion regarding this. Let yourself be surprised ;) And here's the LDT.
You got careless
“Doing something simple that you know so well
And you have done a million times before
This time you got careless and now you’re scared to tell
‘cause you’re worried now nobody will love you anymore.”
Ron Daise, “Whoops, uh-oh! You made a mistake”
“Neglecting your kids again, Dr. Cadman?” She turns around to see him walking up to the table under the oak tree which was one of the reason they bought this house a year ago and then looks back to the corner of their backyard where Aislinn and Christopher are running around with the Parrishs’ kids. She turns back to him.
“You’re just lucky that I’m too lazy to even move a finger. Otherwise I’d show you what a Marine does with a zoomie slandering her reputation as a mother.” Ignoring her slightly menacing undertone he puts his hands on her shoulders and leans down to drop a kiss on the top of her head.
“I’m sure you would. And I sincerely apologize for not appreciating your eagle eye watching over our kids enough.” With that he plunges down in the garden chair on the other side of the table, also facing the playing children.
“Yeah, you better,” she says and adds a little grudging undertone. His only answer is a cocky grin and then turning back to watch the kids again. She in turn takes a few moments to study his profile. In two weeks the twins will turn five and that will also mark their fifth anniversary. Five years… it seems so short to her and yet so much happened. She’d reenlisted a year after the twins’ birth, had been deployed to Afghanistan for a year and he’d been deployed to Iraq a year after that.
By now, both of them are thinking about resigning from active duty and going into the Individual Ready Reserve and the Air Force Reserve respectively in one or two years. If someone had told her six years ago that both she and Lieutenant Colonel Evan Lorne would seriously contemplate stepping back from actively serving she’d have laughed about it. And only if she’d been in a good mood. But then again… six years ago Aislinn and Christopher hadn't been there and six years ago… Evan had been her CO.
“Like what you see?” She blinks. Oh right… must not stare at boyfriend, otherwise boyfriend will get too full of himself.
She sticks out her tongue. “Yeah, you wish.” He wants to answer but gets interrupted by their daughter running towards them squealing, her pigtails teetering and her blue eyes gleaming with delight.
“Daddy, daddy, look! Julian is such a wimp!” It makes her snort, seeing that Julian is Jennifer Keller-Parrish’s and Michael Parrish’s seven-year-old son who gets terrorized regularly by her spunky almost five-year-old. With a lazy grin she watches him pick up Aislinn and scold her a little for not paying the necessary respect to their friends’ kids… but her trained eyes see the traces of amusement and just a little bit of pride in his face. It makes her smile to see his secret pride at their daughter who turned out to be much more like her than their son who always reminds her so much of the grandfather he was named after.
When he’s done with giving Aislinn her lesson about being nice to boys the little girl gives him a kiss and it makes her wonder how she could ever have considered cutting all ties to this man. “She’s got that all from you, Captain Tomboy.” Yeah, even when he’s trying to blame their daughter’s slight wildness solely on her.
“Sure, Lieutenant Colonel Blamey McBlamerson.” A little twig is shot into her direction but today she doesn’t even bother to dodge it. Instead she simply leans back and watches her children again. Christopher has now taken to defend his sister - who’s actually about five minutes older than he is - against the two other boys and looks the spitting image of his father, both trying to shield his not really cooperative sister and trying to pacify the two other boys. She wonders again whatever made her think she could raise these two alone, could forget about the man who fathered them when they both remind her of him in one way or the other nearly every time she looks at them.
But then again… when she’d made that decision, she’d still been very much under the impression of the night that started all of this. Or well, rather the morning after it. A ray of sunlight graces her face and that reminds her of the first thing she’d felt that morning… well, apart from an almighty headache, that is. She’d wriggled a little, stretched, reluctantly opened her eyes… and closed them immediately… only to open them again, to try to assure herself that the sight presenting itself had been induced by residual alcohol. However… that proved to be a mistake.
Shooting a look beside her, she sees the same man that had been lying beside her that morning… the same and not quite the same. When she looks at him today, she’s mostly glad he came back from Iraq relatively unscathed, sometimes irritated because he forgot the dishes or the garbage again and often enough amazed that he still bears with her occasional bouts of PTSD left over from Afghanistan. When she had looked at him six years ago… her main emotion had been… clear and utter horror.
God, yes… she’d been that close to screaming when she’d realized why exactly her CO had been lying next to her, still with his eyes closed and wearing basically… nothing. She’d gone and done it. Slept with her CO, not even three months after one really innocent night on his couch and joking around about better holding her drinking when he - and Dr. Parrish - was around.
She recalls another moment of shocked silence… and then his eyes opening. For just a very, very short moment they’d looked like they look today when he wakes up and sees her: Filled with a kind of tired, hazy tenderness that makes her all warm inside… even at 0500 in the morning. But back then… realization had crept very fast into his eyes and she’s still not sure who’d blushed heavier.
What she does remember though is that after a moment of complete and utter silence her mind had suddenly been full of Ohcrapohcrapohcrap and the room had been filled with their nearly frantic search for their clothes and the desperate attempt not to look at the other again. An almost nostalgic smile graces her face. Back then, maybe the worst thing of all had been that she actually remembered most of the night. Today, of course, she’s somehow glad that she still remembers most of the night her children were conceived - even though this is a story she’ll probably never tell them - but all those years ago… it had only added to the embarrassment and the guilt and the confusion.
It hadn't made the weeks after it any easier, either because every time she happened to come across Major Lorne - no easy feat since he’d made himself scarce to her ever since the incident - she couldn’t decide between feeling utterly embarrassed about her lack of control and indulging a little in the memory of some parts of the night. Well, all up until Katie Brown had noticed her being sick in one of the public bathrooms and practically dragged her to the infirmary. The moment Jennifer had given her the results of the tests and had made it impossible for her to keep denying something she’d known to be true ever since the first time she’d felt miserable, she’d known that she needed to get way from Atlantis.
She looks at him again. He has his eyes closed, enjoying the slight breeze of the late summer afternoon, the children having quieted down to an occasional giggle or babble a few feet away at the foot of the oak tree. The little flutter in her stomach makes her smile. Even after five years she still has these moments where she feels like a teenager in love for the first time when she looks at him.
Six years ago, though… she’d wanted to be away from him almost desperately. She’d made the few people who knew of her condition - Colonel Carter, Colonel Sheppard, Jennifer Keller, Katie Brown - swear they wouldn’t tell him because she’d known he’d want to do the responsible thing. While that was something very honorable - and deep down she’d always felt a need for someone to share this with her, even though she’d fought hard against admitting it even to herself - she’d felt almost sick at the thought of him having to resign from his posting in Atlantis because she hadn’t been careful enough to remember that her body’s hormone cycle was always mixed up for a few weeks after coming back to Atlantis from Earth.
When he’d appeared in front of her door anyway after six months she’d at first been ready to strangle Katie for telling him… and when he’d left her apartment that day after a few hours she’d been ready to give Katie whatever she wanted to thank her for spilling the beans. Not because she’d already been in love with him - that had needed another three months at least - but because suddenly everything had seemed to be so much easier; juggling school and making a living and preparing for the time when her children would be born and her life would be turned upside down… again.
Things had changed so fast then; he’d been back on Earth for good a month later - God, she still remembers the horrible fight they’d had when he’d announced to her that he was quitting Atlantis, no buts allowed - and she’d moved to Colorado Springs a month before the twins’ birth. Just for once her own suggestion and decision, brought on by the need for a bigger flat and the realization that she could forget about doing anything for her doctorate for several months anyway… and already the growing wish to have him close to her. It had taken them the strain and difficulty of the birth itself, though, to see that there was more binding them together than just one careless night and its result.
A silent sigh escapes her. True to her one condition to accept his help they never got married but they don’t need to anyway. After cutting miles of red tape, their children have every right children of married couples have and should have happened anything to them on their deployments, there would have been no confusion about who would be taking care of them.
But yeah, just another reason why they are both seriously contemplating stepping back from active duty; over the years both of them had their close calls. She particularly remembers one six months after the twins’ birth when Evan had still been serving in the SGC and had been severely wounded on a mission… the moment they’d told her she’d grabbed the kids, bundled them up in the car and driven to the SGC. Almost furiously she’d made her way to the infirmary, given the kids to the care of the delighted nurses and given him a dressing down well worth to remember, berating him for taking risks that landed him in a hospital bed even though he was a father of two and goddammit how could he do that! All he’d done had been waiting until she was done, lying there in his bed, still a little weak from surgery and then had said, “Yeah, Laura, I love you, too,” calmly, without a sarcastic edge or a smirk.
She resists a content sigh. Whenever she remembers this particular moment, she also remembers a moment of utter confusion and simply saying, “Oh. Oh right,” and sitting down beside him, silent for another moment, digesting what he just told her. And after that… the giddiness welling up inside of her at the final dispersion of her deep-rooted fear that he was only staying with her out of obligation.
Overtaken by a sudden wave of affection, she stands up to walk over to him and bends down to hug him and give him a kiss on his cheek. From the corner of the kids she can hear very pronounced “Ewww!”s and a little giggle from Aislinn. The object of her affection turns to her slightly surprised and reaches up to burry his hand in her hair. “What did I do to deserve such a courteous treatment, huh?”
They exchange another short kiss and then she straightens up again and ruffles his hair. “Guess. That will keep your mind sharp, old man.” She turns towards the house because Jennifer and Michael should be coming back now every moment but she doesn’t get far because suddenly strong arms have grabbed her from behind and swung around, making her squeal, much to the delight of their twins and the Parrishs’ sons.
“Are you sure these people are the right ones to leave Jude and Danny with, honey?” Yeah, well and to the Parrishs’ delight. He has set her down again and they have both turned to the couple - Atlantis’ former CMO and head botanist - that just entered their backyard. Michael has bent down to greet his sons. Julian does look a little relieved to have his daddy back, obviously an unyielding fortress in his son’s eyes. Of course that view on Michael Parrish is absolutely alien to her but if that’s how his son sees him… who is she to change it?
“Oh, absolutely. After all, they have the best stories to tell,” Jennifer answers and grins at them. It tells her that Jennifer knows very well what she’s talking about. She feels herself smirking.
“You should know.” As a reply, Jennifer sticks out her tongue.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t go and hop into bed with…”
“Not in front of the kids!” they blurt out in unison and that makes the Parrishs laugh out loud. After that, it’s back to the table where Jennifer unpacks the cake the Parrishs have brought with them from their little solo foray into Washington, D.C. She wants to go inside the house to get some plates and cutlery but he seizes his chance for an unwatched moment and encircles her waist from behind to put a kiss to the crook of her neck.
“Did I ever tell you how glad I am that I had to rescue you from a certain Dr. Parrish all those years ago?” It makes her grin.
“Didn’t you rather rescue a certain Dr. Parrish from me?” It makes him chuckle and the feel of his breath against her neck sends pleasant shivers down her spine.
“You may have a point there. Anyway,” he lets go of her again and for a moment she wishes Jennifer and Michael and their sons would be gone and the twins would be visiting their grandparents or their grandma… “I think I may have to rescue another Parrish from a certain Cadman.” With that he returns to the table, to help Christopher to keep Aislinn from teasing Julian again. She throws back another look and her eyes meet Jennifer’s over the men and the children. A small, secret smile appears on Jennifer’s face and she feels herself mirroring it. The best stories, indeed. And may many others follow.
~*~
TBC
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Characters: Cadman/Lorne
Prompt: #080 Why?
Word Count: 2.576
Rating: K+
Summary: It's been five years since Aislinn and Christopher Cadman were born... let's see where Laura Cadman and Evan Lorne stand now.
Author's Notes: So, here we are with last of the Twiniverse!stories... or okay, the pre-last. There's still a little Lorne/Cadman porn piece begging to be written... we'll see about that one once I got my real life under control again ;) This one takes place about five years after "The kids are fast asleep" and is a little wrap-up to the series. Although... one of you (I think it was asugar... BTW, where are you? You haven't abandoned us fanfiction writers, right? I have a really great recommendation of an up and coming author for you ;)) once said she'd love to see the twins in Atlantis. Mh... mackenziesmomma (whom I also own the lyrics for this chapter to *bows before her beta) had a nice suggestion regarding this. Let yourself be surprised ;) And here's the LDT.
You got careless
“Doing something simple that you know so well
And you have done a million times before
This time you got careless and now you’re scared to tell
‘cause you’re worried now nobody will love you anymore.”
Ron Daise, “Whoops, uh-oh! You made a mistake”
“Neglecting your kids again, Dr. Cadman?” She turns around to see him walking up to the table under the oak tree which was one of the reason they bought this house a year ago and then looks back to the corner of their backyard where Aislinn and Christopher are running around with the Parrishs’ kids. She turns back to him.
“You’re just lucky that I’m too lazy to even move a finger. Otherwise I’d show you what a Marine does with a zoomie slandering her reputation as a mother.” Ignoring her slightly menacing undertone he puts his hands on her shoulders and leans down to drop a kiss on the top of her head.
“I’m sure you would. And I sincerely apologize for not appreciating your eagle eye watching over our kids enough.” With that he plunges down in the garden chair on the other side of the table, also facing the playing children.
“Yeah, you better,” she says and adds a little grudging undertone. His only answer is a cocky grin and then turning back to watch the kids again. She in turn takes a few moments to study his profile. In two weeks the twins will turn five and that will also mark their fifth anniversary. Five years… it seems so short to her and yet so much happened. She’d reenlisted a year after the twins’ birth, had been deployed to Afghanistan for a year and he’d been deployed to Iraq a year after that.
By now, both of them are thinking about resigning from active duty and going into the Individual Ready Reserve and the Air Force Reserve respectively in one or two years. If someone had told her six years ago that both she and Lieutenant Colonel Evan Lorne would seriously contemplate stepping back from actively serving she’d have laughed about it. And only if she’d been in a good mood. But then again… six years ago Aislinn and Christopher hadn't been there and six years ago… Evan had been her CO.
“Like what you see?” She blinks. Oh right… must not stare at boyfriend, otherwise boyfriend will get too full of himself.
She sticks out her tongue. “Yeah, you wish.” He wants to answer but gets interrupted by their daughter running towards them squealing, her pigtails teetering and her blue eyes gleaming with delight.
“Daddy, daddy, look! Julian is such a wimp!” It makes her snort, seeing that Julian is Jennifer Keller-Parrish’s and Michael Parrish’s seven-year-old son who gets terrorized regularly by her spunky almost five-year-old. With a lazy grin she watches him pick up Aislinn and scold her a little for not paying the necessary respect to their friends’ kids… but her trained eyes see the traces of amusement and just a little bit of pride in his face. It makes her smile to see his secret pride at their daughter who turned out to be much more like her than their son who always reminds her so much of the grandfather he was named after.
When he’s done with giving Aislinn her lesson about being nice to boys the little girl gives him a kiss and it makes her wonder how she could ever have considered cutting all ties to this man. “She’s got that all from you, Captain Tomboy.” Yeah, even when he’s trying to blame their daughter’s slight wildness solely on her.
“Sure, Lieutenant Colonel Blamey McBlamerson.” A little twig is shot into her direction but today she doesn’t even bother to dodge it. Instead she simply leans back and watches her children again. Christopher has now taken to defend his sister - who’s actually about five minutes older than he is - against the two other boys and looks the spitting image of his father, both trying to shield his not really cooperative sister and trying to pacify the two other boys. She wonders again whatever made her think she could raise these two alone, could forget about the man who fathered them when they both remind her of him in one way or the other nearly every time she looks at them.
But then again… when she’d made that decision, she’d still been very much under the impression of the night that started all of this. Or well, rather the morning after it. A ray of sunlight graces her face and that reminds her of the first thing she’d felt that morning… well, apart from an almighty headache, that is. She’d wriggled a little, stretched, reluctantly opened her eyes… and closed them immediately… only to open them again, to try to assure herself that the sight presenting itself had been induced by residual alcohol. However… that proved to be a mistake.
Shooting a look beside her, she sees the same man that had been lying beside her that morning… the same and not quite the same. When she looks at him today, she’s mostly glad he came back from Iraq relatively unscathed, sometimes irritated because he forgot the dishes or the garbage again and often enough amazed that he still bears with her occasional bouts of PTSD left over from Afghanistan. When she had looked at him six years ago… her main emotion had been… clear and utter horror.
God, yes… she’d been that close to screaming when she’d realized why exactly her CO had been lying next to her, still with his eyes closed and wearing basically… nothing. She’d gone and done it. Slept with her CO, not even three months after one really innocent night on his couch and joking around about better holding her drinking when he - and Dr. Parrish - was around.
She recalls another moment of shocked silence… and then his eyes opening. For just a very, very short moment they’d looked like they look today when he wakes up and sees her: Filled with a kind of tired, hazy tenderness that makes her all warm inside… even at 0500 in the morning. But back then… realization had crept very fast into his eyes and she’s still not sure who’d blushed heavier.
What she does remember though is that after a moment of complete and utter silence her mind had suddenly been full of Ohcrapohcrapohcrap and the room had been filled with their nearly frantic search for their clothes and the desperate attempt not to look at the other again. An almost nostalgic smile graces her face. Back then, maybe the worst thing of all had been that she actually remembered most of the night. Today, of course, she’s somehow glad that she still remembers most of the night her children were conceived - even though this is a story she’ll probably never tell them - but all those years ago… it had only added to the embarrassment and the guilt and the confusion.
It hadn't made the weeks after it any easier, either because every time she happened to come across Major Lorne - no easy feat since he’d made himself scarce to her ever since the incident - she couldn’t decide between feeling utterly embarrassed about her lack of control and indulging a little in the memory of some parts of the night. Well, all up until Katie Brown had noticed her being sick in one of the public bathrooms and practically dragged her to the infirmary. The moment Jennifer had given her the results of the tests and had made it impossible for her to keep denying something she’d known to be true ever since the first time she’d felt miserable, she’d known that she needed to get way from Atlantis.
She looks at him again. He has his eyes closed, enjoying the slight breeze of the late summer afternoon, the children having quieted down to an occasional giggle or babble a few feet away at the foot of the oak tree. The little flutter in her stomach makes her smile. Even after five years she still has these moments where she feels like a teenager in love for the first time when she looks at him.
Six years ago, though… she’d wanted to be away from him almost desperately. She’d made the few people who knew of her condition - Colonel Carter, Colonel Sheppard, Jennifer Keller, Katie Brown - swear they wouldn’t tell him because she’d known he’d want to do the responsible thing. While that was something very honorable - and deep down she’d always felt a need for someone to share this with her, even though she’d fought hard against admitting it even to herself - she’d felt almost sick at the thought of him having to resign from his posting in Atlantis because she hadn’t been careful enough to remember that her body’s hormone cycle was always mixed up for a few weeks after coming back to Atlantis from Earth.
When he’d appeared in front of her door anyway after six months she’d at first been ready to strangle Katie for telling him… and when he’d left her apartment that day after a few hours she’d been ready to give Katie whatever she wanted to thank her for spilling the beans. Not because she’d already been in love with him - that had needed another three months at least - but because suddenly everything had seemed to be so much easier; juggling school and making a living and preparing for the time when her children would be born and her life would be turned upside down… again.
Things had changed so fast then; he’d been back on Earth for good a month later - God, she still remembers the horrible fight they’d had when he’d announced to her that he was quitting Atlantis, no buts allowed - and she’d moved to Colorado Springs a month before the twins’ birth. Just for once her own suggestion and decision, brought on by the need for a bigger flat and the realization that she could forget about doing anything for her doctorate for several months anyway… and already the growing wish to have him close to her. It had taken them the strain and difficulty of the birth itself, though, to see that there was more binding them together than just one careless night and its result.
A silent sigh escapes her. True to her one condition to accept his help they never got married but they don’t need to anyway. After cutting miles of red tape, their children have every right children of married couples have and should have happened anything to them on their deployments, there would have been no confusion about who would be taking care of them.
But yeah, just another reason why they are both seriously contemplating stepping back from active duty; over the years both of them had their close calls. She particularly remembers one six months after the twins’ birth when Evan had still been serving in the SGC and had been severely wounded on a mission… the moment they’d told her she’d grabbed the kids, bundled them up in the car and driven to the SGC. Almost furiously she’d made her way to the infirmary, given the kids to the care of the delighted nurses and given him a dressing down well worth to remember, berating him for taking risks that landed him in a hospital bed even though he was a father of two and goddammit how could he do that! All he’d done had been waiting until she was done, lying there in his bed, still a little weak from surgery and then had said, “Yeah, Laura, I love you, too,” calmly, without a sarcastic edge or a smirk.
She resists a content sigh. Whenever she remembers this particular moment, she also remembers a moment of utter confusion and simply saying, “Oh. Oh right,” and sitting down beside him, silent for another moment, digesting what he just told her. And after that… the giddiness welling up inside of her at the final dispersion of her deep-rooted fear that he was only staying with her out of obligation.
Overtaken by a sudden wave of affection, she stands up to walk over to him and bends down to hug him and give him a kiss on his cheek. From the corner of the kids she can hear very pronounced “Ewww!”s and a little giggle from Aislinn. The object of her affection turns to her slightly surprised and reaches up to burry his hand in her hair. “What did I do to deserve such a courteous treatment, huh?”
They exchange another short kiss and then she straightens up again and ruffles his hair. “Guess. That will keep your mind sharp, old man.” She turns towards the house because Jennifer and Michael should be coming back now every moment but she doesn’t get far because suddenly strong arms have grabbed her from behind and swung around, making her squeal, much to the delight of their twins and the Parrishs’ sons.
“Are you sure these people are the right ones to leave Jude and Danny with, honey?” Yeah, well and to the Parrishs’ delight. He has set her down again and they have both turned to the couple - Atlantis’ former CMO and head botanist - that just entered their backyard. Michael has bent down to greet his sons. Julian does look a little relieved to have his daddy back, obviously an unyielding fortress in his son’s eyes. Of course that view on Michael Parrish is absolutely alien to her but if that’s how his son sees him… who is she to change it?
“Oh, absolutely. After all, they have the best stories to tell,” Jennifer answers and grins at them. It tells her that Jennifer knows very well what she’s talking about. She feels herself smirking.
“You should know.” As a reply, Jennifer sticks out her tongue.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t go and hop into bed with…”
“Not in front of the kids!” they blurt out in unison and that makes the Parrishs laugh out loud. After that, it’s back to the table where Jennifer unpacks the cake the Parrishs have brought with them from their little solo foray into Washington, D.C. She wants to go inside the house to get some plates and cutlery but he seizes his chance for an unwatched moment and encircles her waist from behind to put a kiss to the crook of her neck.
“Did I ever tell you how glad I am that I had to rescue you from a certain Dr. Parrish all those years ago?” It makes her grin.
“Didn’t you rather rescue a certain Dr. Parrish from me?” It makes him chuckle and the feel of his breath against her neck sends pleasant shivers down her spine.
“You may have a point there. Anyway,” he lets go of her again and for a moment she wishes Jennifer and Michael and their sons would be gone and the twins would be visiting their grandparents or their grandma… “I think I may have to rescue another Parrish from a certain Cadman.” With that he returns to the table, to help Christopher to keep Aislinn from teasing Julian again. She throws back another look and her eyes meet Jennifer’s over the men and the children. A small, secret smile appears on Jennifer’s face and she feels herself mirroring it. The best stories, indeed. And may many others follow.
~*~
TBC