Veilfic--Erotomania: The Beginning of the Story

[gehayi]

More of my veilfic, as yet unbeta'd. This is the beginning of the story, and connects to the middle that has already been written.

Comments

[gehayi]

Thank you. It's not typical of the Veilfic challenges; most seem to be romances. Me, I went and wrote a psychological mystery.

[gehayi]

No, just a reference to Poe. There aren't many good nicknames for a raven that also sound like something that a fifteen-year-old boy would come up with. I figured that Snape was doomed to be called Quoth or Nevermore, and I went with Quoth because it's shorter.

[genarti]

*shiver*

Wow. This story is well-written and incredibly creepy, and the more so because it's completely plausible. The Sirius we know and love is reckless, caring, too smart for his own good, a bit obsessive, casually cruel upon occasion -- and it's all too easy to see, reading this, how with just a mental sidestep or two he could have turned out a horrifying figure like this. (And, of course, Traveller!Sirius is slowly coming to see that too...) There's not even an outside influence twisting him; it's just a few choices made slightly differently and the wrong seeds growing to full flower. It's all Sirius, even as it appalls Traveller!Sirius.

I'm very curious about how this will end up!

[gehayi]

There's not even an outside influence twisting him; it's just a few choices made slightly differently and the wrong seeds growing to full flower. It's all Sirius, even as it appalls Traveller!Sirius.

Yes! You've got it exactly. (And oh, how Traveller! Sirius wants to deny that Erotomaniac Sirius has much--or anything--in common with him.

I'm glad that you find the story plausible; I'm aiming for credibility. I'd like people to say, as you did, "Yes, this could have happened. Very easily."

I'm also glad that you find it creepy. I think that the subject matter demands it, and, truthfully, I find it hard to tell if the story is coming across in a creepy manner.

[alliterator]

Wow. This story is all kinds of great. I always love alternate universes, and you seem to write the best (or should I say worst?) or them.

[gehayi]

I just hope that it finishes up as well as it promises to. And thank you very much!