Dirty Words

[gedry]

Title: Dirty Words
Author: Gedry
Pairings: Jared/Jensen/Misha
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 10,346
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. I am making no profit from this fanfiction.
Beta: none
Spoilers: none
Warnings: This fic includes knotting, mentions of past relationship trauma, and abuse, and three men having sex. Though this fic contains alpha, beta, and omega characteristics, there is NO male pregnancy in this story.
Summary: Jared’s reached that point in an alpha’s life where he’s starting to question what he really wants. He’s not really coming up with any answers. But a special call back into work one night changes everything for him and gives him a glimpse of the future he never knew he really wanted.

Dirty Words

Jared’s used the weird looks he gets at work. Being a nurse is a pretty odd choice of employment for an alpha. In fact, he’s never met another alpha who worked in the helping profession as anything less than a surgeon or director. All of them positions of high standing and command just like society tells him his genetics dictate.

Jared thinks it’s all bullshit. So maybe his co-workers whisper about him behind closed doors, maybe they call him weird and weak and soft. He’s never minded. He likes taking care of people and being a nurse allows him to do that full time. Jared’s never considered it to be against his nature. In his mind a true alpha nurtures and looks after his pack, so since he doesn’t have a pack of his own he does the same for his patients.

Of course, the fact that he’s still not taken a mate at the ripe old age of twenty seven is another whole issue entirely, one that if Jared was really honest with himself would worry him too, assuming he allowed himself to think about it too long. But he doesn’t. Jared’s an alpha by birth, but he’s also gay. Even though there are a lot of male beta’s to go around Jared’s never wanted children and he’s never felt right asking a beta to forgo having a child. All of the ones he’s ever spent any real time with have been looking forward to a family and it’s not something that’s ever called to him.

There are omegas, people that share characteristics of both alphas and betas, but Jared’s only ever met a few and omegas are notoriously hard to bond with, they only ever go into heat when they find a potential mate that is genetically compatible. And heat means knotting and knotting means babies and Jared’s back to the first part of this whole issue which is that he never really wanted children to begin with.

So he’s had some casual relationships, enjoyed a few rolls in the sheets with willing partners, but he’s never courted anyone, never knotted, never found a life partner to bond with. Instead, he pours all of his considerable compassion and tenderness into his work and his friendships and takes comfort in knowing that even in his small way he’s been of help to someone.

It’s enough, until the following Thursday.

He’s just getting home from a double shift in the emergency department, worn weary with the constant rush and flow of people in need. The last few days have been hard, the full moon is coming and as much as everyone wants to pretend it’s a myth that the moon affects their cycles all the hospital workers know it’s true. People are just crazy this time of the month with their hormones riding high and their tempers getting short. Three domestic violence calls and a rape in the last three hours of his shift not to mention the gang shooting that he walked into when he came on have left Jared longing for his bed.

Then his cell phone rings, and so help him, he almost doesn’t answer it. He’s so tired. But it’s work and something in his gut twists so he picks up with a mumbled, “Hello?”

“Jared?” Rob, the head nurse questions quietly. “I’m so sorry, but we need you to come back to work.”

“I just left a double,” Jared hears the growl in his voice and clenches his eyes in annoyance. It’s not often that the alpha in him rises to the surface; he works to keep himself under control. But he does not want to go back to the hospital.

“I know, I know,” Rob assures him, “I’m sorry. But we have a situation here, and we need your help. You won’t be working the floor; we just need you to take care of a patient.”

“Just one patient?” Jared has to admit, he’s intrigued.

“One patient,” Rob rushes to answer and then adds, “And his…partner.”

There’s something about the way Rob says the word that makes the hair on the back of Jared’s neck stand up. “I’m coming,” he answers curtly, hanging up the phone and turning with a groan to head back out the door.

He didn’t even have a chance to shower, he has to stink.

*****

Jared’s ushered into the conference room off the side of the nurse’s station as soon as he returns to the hospital, he looks around curiously at Rob, and the head of the hospital, Jim Beaver. Neither of these people should be standing in the emergency room at this time of night. “What’s going on?”

“We had a beta come into the ER tonight,” Jim answers, motioning for Jared to sit down and honestly, even if he wasn’t dead on his feet, Jim’s got a powerful aura as an alpha and Jared jumps to obey him on instinct. “He’s in heat and has an infection. A high fever, chills, and lower abdominal pain, the works. He needs to stay here for twenty four hours and get antibiotic through his IV.”

“No offense, Sir,” Jared breaks in when he pauses. “But that sounds completely reasonable to me. But it doesn’t tell me why I’m here.”

Jim smiles indulgently. “I like you, Jared. I’m not sure I entirely understand your take on being an alpha but I have to admit it’s good to have you on my staff. I trust you and you take your job very seriously. That is why you’re here. I’ve had to place this patient in isolation and I need a nurse I can trust to take care of him while we treat him and keep your mouth shut.”

“Keep my mouth shut about what?”

“This beta has a mating mark,” Jim answers, shoving back in his chair. “But no alpha. His name is Misha Collins and from what he and his friend have been willing to tell us, he was mated to an alpha that makes all of us look like Neanderthals. So after three years Mr. Collins dissolved the mating.”

Jared has to take a deep breath at that. Divorces after mating were almost unheard of. Even if it was later found out a beta was unable to bear children the pair would often just mate with a third party and have a plural marriage. For a beta, to leave an alpha has serious consequences. They would be considered untouchable by alphas in general, already claimed by another even though the relationship was dissolved. As part of the divorce Jared knew it was common practice for the beta to be sterilized. It’s an arcane practice that Jared hates but still legal in several states.

“His heat is causing problems,” Jim explains further as Jared processes. “With the full moon coming tomorrow his scent is agitating other patients and some staff. Add to that the stigma associated with his lifestyle choice and we have the potential for a major problem on our hands. I’ve placed him in isolation with his friend. I want you to care for them both during his stay here.”

Jared opens his mouth to say something but stumbles; he’s not sure what exactly he wants to ask.

“Jared,” Jim says softly as he leans forward in his chair and places his elbows on the table. “I’m asking you to do this for two reasons. The first one is because you have a remarkable gift for working with patients. These boys are scared and I’m not alright with that. I want them to see the best side of what an alpha can be, and you are a superb example. Don’t ever let anyone tell you any different.”

Jim gets up then, walking toward the door and Jared snaps out his shock long enough to ask, “What’s the second reason you called for me? You said there were two.”

Jim smiles and offers him a wink. “It should be obvious. We have people threatening this patient and let’s face it kid, you are huge anyone, including another alpha, would think twice before trying to bust into that room with you on duty.”

Jared blushes, part embarrassment, part pride. Rob smothers a grin behind his hand before motioning for Jared to follow him to the elevators and up to the fifth floor toward a privacy suite usually reserved for people with high societal standing. Jared takes a few deep breaths as Rob turns to leave. He’s already tired and he knows the next twenty four hours is going to be tough for everyone. He pushes open the door and steps inside, shutting it firmly behind him before swaying in reaction to the scents in the room.

He thought he was prepared for it, but the sweet, wonderful smell of a beta in full heat slams into his senses so hard he has to bite back a groan as his dick fattens up in his scrubs in response. There’s sweat, stress, and anxiety floating in the air too and Jared can tell without even drawing back the flimsy curtain in the room that not all of the scents belong to the beta. He steps forward, determined to keep his cool and do his job as expected.

What he sees makes him stumble. Closer his charges, the scents get more complicated, under the call of the beta’s heat is the sticky scent of sickness and pain, he’s suffering and Jared’s instincts scream for him to offer comfort. Betas are precious, they shouldn’t hurt this way. He moves to reach for laptop in the corner so he can check the history and see if there’s some kind of medication he can safely provide. But his grasp is smacked away and his path blocked by a fierce, green eyed man, whose scent screams aggressiveness and fear.

“Who are you?” the man snarls.

“I’m the nurse,” Jared answers, forcing himself to back away even though the alpha in him is boiling at the challenge in the other man’s tone. “My name is Jared. Rob told me you knew I was coming.”

“Rob,” the other man snaps, “forgot to mention you’re an alpha.”

And Jared is going to kill Rob the next time he sees him.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly instead. “I’m not here to hurt you. I can try to find you another nurse if you want but until then can you just push the computer over to me so I can check his records? I know you can smell him hurting. I want to give him something for the pain but I need to know what he’s had already first.”

Something in the man’s gaze softens, his scent changes slightly, less aggressive, more wary but he backs toward the bed and grabs the rolling table with the laptop on it before moving back toward Jared. The move puts him close enough for Jared to scent clearly and he’s startled by what he smells. “You’re an omega.”

He regrets blurting it out as soon as it passes his lips. The omega’s eyes narrowing dangerously as his scent shifts again into something sharp, “What does that have to do with anything?”

“It doesn’t,” Jared scrambles to assure him. “I’m sorry. I’m tired, I just worked a double before they called me back here and I’m not really one hundred percent right now. I shouldn’t have said anything. I just haven’t met many omegas. I was startled.”

There’s silence and Jared hopes his self disclosure is enough to gain some margin of respect. “I’m going to step out and get him something to help with the heat and the pain. I’ll be right back. Can I get you anything?”

The omega jerks like Jared shocked him with a live wire before shaking his head slowly and muttering, “No, thank you.”

Jared makes a point to be back in under five minutes. It doesn’t matter to him really if they don’t trust him right now. They have no reason to, but he’s hoping he can earn some of their trust soon.

The beta’s scent is twisting as he comes close to the bed, he’s clearly in distress. “Next time,” Jared says as gently as he can as he injects the medication into the IV, “use the call button before he gets this bad. I can’t make this go away, but I can keep him more comfortable. There’s no reason for either of you to suffer like this.”

“Thank you,” the omega says as Jared turns toward the door.

“It’s my job,” Jared offers a smile. “If you need anything, either of you, I’ll be right outside.”

“All night?”

There’s something almost hopeful in his tone and Jared has to stop himself from closing his eyes and inhaling to examine the omega’s scent. “As long as you need to be here, I’ll be here.”

“I’m Jensen,” the omega calls out just before the door swings shut. “He’s Misha.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jared nods. “I’ll be back in an hour to give him more antibiotics.”

The door closes and Jared spends a lot of the next hour thinking about just how green Jensen’s eyes are and how nice they both smell.

*****
An hour later almost to the minute Jared is easing his way back into the private room to hook up the antibiotics. He knows this is going to be unpleasant for Misha. The medication has to be kept refrigerated and because of that it’s very cold.

He hears them whispering, Misha’s voice tight and thready, he’s clearly still in the throws of his heat. He sounds needy, vulnerable as he babbles to Jensen only slightly coherently due to the pain medication. Something about the combination of his voice and his scent hits home hard inside Jared’s chest and he hesitates to get closer, desire echoing inside him. Jared struggles to stamp down on his instinct and his scent, the worst possible thing that could happen right now is for either Jensen or Misha to pick up on how aroused he is.

“Who’s that?” Misha croaks and Jared knows it’s now or never. He tugs back the curtain and steps closer to the dim light above the bed. Jensen looks up at him from where he’s perched on Misha’s bedside.

“That’s Jared, he’s our nurse.”

Misha’s eyes roll toward him slowly, red rimmed and struggling to focus. Jared’s honestly surprised that he’s awake at all. The beta’s clearly got more stamina than Jared gave him credit for. “He smells good.”

Jared blinks at Misha’s comment. Jensen flushes pink and rushes to add, “He’s got no sense of boundaries or propriety when he’s sober, healthy, and not in heat. Like this…he could say or do anything. I’m sorry.”

He looks so horrified Jared can’t help but smile. “It’s okay. Nice to know I don’t stink. I was concerned about that.”

“No,” Jensen says softly with his eyes on Misha. “You smell great.”

Jared stills in the process of reaching for Misha’s IV and watches the color bloom across Jensen’s freckled face as the omega realizes what he just said. “I can’t believe I said that,” Jensen stammers.

Jared grins as he untangles the tubing and checks Misha’s arm before attaching the antibiotics into the port. “It’s okay, really. You both smell pretty good yourselves.” There’s a moment of silence where Jensen just blinks at him. “So now that we’ve gotten over that embarrassing situation, let’s talk about the antibiotics for a second, okay?”

Misha rumbles weakly, turning toward Jared drunkenly and reaching out to drag a quivering hand down Jared’s arm. It shocks him, Jared hadn’t been expecting Misha to want to touch him or even be near him at all.

“Not afraid of you, Alpha,” Misha slurs slightly. “Jensen’s…overprotective. Ignore him, he’s harmless. You smell too nice to be anything scary.”

They share a smile while Jensen growls low in his throat behind them. Jared watches as Misha raises the hand from his arm to flip Jensen off and rumbles as the omega returns the gesture with a roll of his eyes.

“It’s cold.” Misha complains suddenly and Jared squeezes his arm gently.

“I know, I’m sorry about that. It has to stay refrigerated until use. I’ll get you some heated blankets to help.”

With that he’s turning and heading out the room to track them down. By the time Jared returns Misha is whimpering, clinging to Jensen in the bed and panting with tears in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Jared asks.

“It burns,” Jensen answers, his voice tight and his scent sharp with stress. “The same thing happened in the ER. They said it’s a side effect we just have to ride out.”

Jared bites back the urge to snarl. “That’s not right. I’ll bring you an ice pack to put over it. I know it sounds crazy but it helps, I promise.”

Long moments later he’s pressing the ice against the inside of Misha’s arm and tugging the blankets over both of them in the bed while Jensen pets Misha’s hair and Misha struggles to take deep breaths.

“I’ll be back to check on you in an hour,” Jared whispers. “Call me if you need anything, I’ll be at the station right outside the door.”

A distracted nod is all he gets in return from Jensen, but Jared can’t blame him, if his mate were struggling so badly he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else either. Hell, he hardly knows them and leaving the room makes the alpha inside him scream in frustration.

But it doesn’t matter what his instincts are telling him, he doesn’t belong in there.

*****

Four hours later things start to go down hill. Misha’s heat peaks, adding to the already high fever he’s been suffering. He’s a twisting, moaning mass on the bed as Jensen tries to sooth him and Jared pumps him full of everything he can think of.

He just can’t risk any more medication.

“Jensen,” he starts slowly. “I’m sorry, but I need to give him more antibiotic and he’s close to ripping out the IV. I might have to tie him down to keep him still.”

“No!” Jensen snarls, pressing himself between Jared and Misha for the first time in hours in a defensive stance. His scent reeks of anxiety and exhaustion and Jared feels a tug low in his gut to do something, anything to make this easier.

“You can’t,” Jensen pleads. “He won’t be able to take it. His alpha…please don’t hurt him like this. Can’t you just knock him out?”

“You know I can’t,” Jared answers sadly. Betas are sensitive to sedatives in general and from their report Misha is even more so. With his currently weakened state Jared’s scared to risk it.

After a moment Jared sighs and offers the only thing he can think of to help. “I could try to use my scent.”

Jensen’s eyes open wide, the kind of glassy shocked stare that people get when they’ve heard something inconceivable. “You’d do that?”

Jared shrugs, it’s a good thing he’s unmated, he’s got no one to hurt here but himself. Betas and even omegas can sense changes in their alpha’s scent. It’s an ancient thing left over in their instinctual brain, something not really needed in today’s world that their physiology hasn’t yet learned to let go of. It probably wouldn’t work if Misha was healthy, he doesn’t know Jared and they have no bond. But Misha’s had an alpha once, and even though he was obviously a poor mate Jared hopes that in his delirium Misha might respond on instinct to Jared’s pheromones once he projects them. “It’s the only thing I can think of other than restraints.”

Jensen doesn’t hesitate. “Try it.”

Jared takes a moment to search for his center. For this to work he has to project strength, possessiveness, and most importantly, calm. He’s not particularly feeling any of those things at the moment. But once he reaches out to stroke along the sweat soaked hair covering Misha’s forehead the beta mewls, turning toward him greedily, Misha’s body seeking a source of comfort even though Jared’s scent must not be totally right. Jared exhales slowly, focusing on pumping out his scent heavily laden with satisfaction and lazy contentment. The whole time repeating to himself, “Easy, relax, focus.”

Jensen’s presence at his shoulder is unexpected but welcomed. The omega sucking in deep breathes of Jared’s pheromones and working to match his own scent to them. Under the influence of both of them Misha’s body unwinds inch by inch until he’s sleeping peacefully and Jensen is panting beside him. Jared’s wound so tight he feels like he might explode and after hooking up the antibiotic IV and grabbing them an icepack for Misha’s arm he flees to the restroom and jacks himself off hard and fast, gripping the sink with his free hand and biting into his scrubs to smother his growls.

It’s a scene they repeat three more times that night. The last time, just before Misha’s fever finally breaks has the beta shamelessly rubbing himself against the bed while Jared grinds his teeth together in frustration and Jensen grips the bed rails so hard they bend in his hands.

It’s out of control and inappropriate, and Jared hopes they never go home.

*****

Misha’s able to eat by the next afternoon, his fever gone and his heat abating. He’s weary from the ordeal and unsteady. His eyes follow Jared around the room whenever he moves. But it’s not a fearful stare, it’s more like Misha’s trying to understand Jared by observation alone, like Jared is a puzzle Misha’s struggling to put together while Jensen snores softly on the fold-out bed next to his.

“How long have you been a nurse?” Misha asks suddenly.

Jared jerks in reaction where he’s blearily entering data into the computer. It’s been a long couple of days and now that Jared’s not riding high on adrenalin worrying that Misha might not be okay he’s starting to drag. He just wants to rest. “Six years in April,” Jared answers with a tired smile.

Misha doesn’t immediately answer, the beta watches him for another long moment and Jared feels the tension in the air. He’s nervous all of a sudden, something he’s not used to feeling. But the intimacy he’s shared with these two men has left him off center and confused. He knows Misha can smell the shift in his scent as the beta closes his eyes and inhales deeply. Jared flushes, drags his hand through his hair and turns to go. “You still smell good,” Misha says to his back as Jared moves to open the door. “I know I was pretty out of it, but I remember some things. Thank you for helping me, thank you for taking the time to try something other than restrains. Jensen told me how hard you’ve been working. I appreciate it.”

“It’s just my job,” Jared mumbles knowing it’s a lie and that Misha can see right through him.

“Well, if everyone in the world were as dedicated to their job as you are then it would be a beautiful place,” Misha huffs. “Jensen told me they assigned you to just us for the time we’re here. Is that right?”

“Yeah,” Jared shrugs. “You’re my only patient so whatever you need…”

“Companionship,” Misha blurts as Jared trails off and Jared watches as his mouth twists into a little grin. “Jensen’s asleep and I’m bored as hell. Since you’ve got no one else to check on how about you stay, pull up a seat, and talk to me?”

That’s how Jared passes the next two hours, sitting on a very uncomfortable plastic chair next to Misha’s bedside while they talk about everything and nothing. He learns Misha grew up traveling like a gypsy, that he’s never been formally educated and makes a living as a carpenter of high-end cabinetry and furniture. He tells Jared about his childhood and shares some of the more radical stories that Jared is pretty sure aren’t normally the topic of conversation with someone he’s just met. But there’s something about Misha that makes Jared feel like they’ve been friends for a very long time. So when Misha stumbles into mentioning his previous alpha, Jared doesn’t interrupt even though he’s uncomfortable with the topic. He holds his tongue as Misha explains about his family owing a dept to a banker and how the alpha had asked for Misha’s much younger sister as a mate in exchange for forgiving the money. Misha had stepped in and taken his sister’s place, much to the alpha’s frustration. He had tolerated the abuse until his sister was safely mated and then sought a divorce. “I understood what that would mean for me,” Misha says softly. “I don’t think it’s right, but I would rather never have children than to be forced to have his.”

“It’s not right,” Jared answers without hesitation. “It’s archaic and wrong and I’m so sorry. None of that should have happened to you or your family. Betas are precious, we’re supposed to honor them and love them. A mating is a partnership. The man that hurt you was no alpha, not really, not in the way I was raised to be one.”

There’s an ocean of scents between them, so much not said and even less understood. Jared’s swarmed with the urge to kiss Misha suddenly and has to look away to fight the inappropriate impulse. He’s swallowing and rubbing his eyes when Misha asks, “Tell me about you?”

He stumbles through the beginning, Jared’s aware his life story isn’t all that exciting, he’s the middle child of a family of three, his parents have been mated since high school and his brother is set to take over the family business soon. His little sister has a beta of her own and two great kids that Jared loves and misses. His brother has a baby on the way with his mate. Jared’s kind of the odd man out in his family being that he’s the only one to move away and stay alone. “They worry about me,” he comments with a shrug. “My parents have always loved and supported me; they’ve taught me that people are so much more than what their instincts make them. Even when I decided to switch to nursing, they always had my back. I’m really lucky.”

“So,” Misha swallows like he’s debating asking but doesn’t have enough self control to stop himself. “Why are you alone?”

“Pardon?” Jared asks as he blinks. He’s not used to someone being so forward.

Misha mouth twists again, his eyes crinkling up before he says, “I just don’t understand why you haven’t been mated. You’re…wonderful.”

Jared can feel himself blushing all the way up into his hairline; he opens his mouth to answer but is thankfully cut off as Jensen grumbles sleepily, “Stop being a fucking weirdo, Mish. You’re gonna scare him off.”

They share a laugh as Jensen unwinds himself from the blanket Jared had tossed over him as he slept and sits up rubbing his face. “So what’s your story?” Jared asks since it seems pretty obvious Jensen’s been awake long enough to hear at least some of his.

“Not much to tell,” Jensen yawns, stretching up over his head so his shirt rides up and gives Jared a peak at his muscled stomach. “I grew up in Texas, like you. Your family and my family could be carbon copies of each other except I’m not an alpha. I went to college to be a physical therapist but got distracted by the buildings I was taking classes in and ended up being an architect. Misha and I worked together on a few projects before we got together, that’s how we met.”

It all sounds so innocent, if it weren’t for the looks the two of them were shooting each other. “You helped him get away, didn’t you?” Jared asks even though he already suspects the answer.

Jensen looks at him for a long time before nodding, “Maybe I’m one of those omegas that leans more toward the alpha side. No one’s ever been interested in me as a mate. I’ve never gone into heat. I’m thirty three. I started thinking I might never be mated the traditional way a long time ago. When I met Mish, he’s like being drug behind a comet. I mean, you see him now and he’s exhausted and sick, but at full steam he’s not like any other beta I’ve ever met. I got hired to work with him on designing their kitchen and just…fell for him. When I saw how bad things were…well, the rest is history.”

The silence settling between them is broken by a knock on the door that has Jared lunging to his feet and snarling like the other two men in the room belong to him. No one else is supposed to come in here.

“Jared,” Rob says quietly. “I brought food and coffee.”

“Oh!” Misha exclaims happily. “There is a God!”

Jared spends the last two hours before Misha and Jensen are cleared to go home dosing off on the pull-out bed at their insistence as they drink coffee and talk quietly to one another. He finds himself curling up around Jensen’s blanket and burying his face in it while he drops off. There’s something about Jensen’s scent on the blanket that’s not quite right but Jared falls asleep before he can place it. The next thing he remembers is Misha gently shaking him awake, this look on his face like he’s sad to have to do it and whispering, “Jared, it’s time for us to go. Could you walk us out, please?”

He takes them down the back steps all the way to Jensen’s car. It’s against hospital protocol for Misha to not be in a wheelchair but the less people who scent him the better, his heat still isn’t done. They share brief goodbyes before they drive away with Jared watching them as they pull off. He turns back to gather his things in the hospital feeling like he has a hole in his chest. He brushes it off as exhaustion after basically three full days with no sleep and doesn’t think anything more about it.

Jim arranges for him to have a ride home instead of taking the train or a cab and even though he argues, he’s barely able to stay awake as he unlocks the door to his apartment. He thinks about showering, has to be filthy after so many days. But the thought of washing away the trace amount of scent left on him by Misha and Jensen makes his head pound and so he turns to his bed, crawls in and passes out.

*****

The next month is beyond frustrating. At first, Jared hesitates to pinpoint exactly what’s bothering him. He goes to work irritated, has to bite his tongue to get through most of his shifts without ripping some asshole’s head off. The alpha in him so close to the surface, more so than it has ever been in his life. He barely eats, feels sick and hot half the time. When he sleeps, he wakes up throbbing, come on the sheets and his knot swollen and aching so bad it brings tears to his eyes.

Something’s wrong with him and Jared knows it. It’s getting worse by the day. He finds himself kicking the snack machine in the emergency room during one of his breaks when it won’t give him his chips. Normally stuff like this doesn’t bother him but he just wants to hurt something and this fucking machine seems like a really good target right now.

“Is this some kind of new weight maintenance program you have going?” Misha’s voice rings out behind him. Jared freezes, scenting the air and finding himself overwhelmed by the faintly remembered smell of the beta now unaffected by heat and illness. It’s heavenly, missing only Jensen’s earthier smell to make it perfection, and Jared feels his agitation immediately decline. “I mean, do you get to have the chips after you beat the machine for the allotted period of time?”

Jared chokes out a laugh as he blushes. “I’m just having a bad day.”

Misha regards him with a look that says maybe he knows more than he’s letting on, but he doesn’t challenge Jared on his lie. “Assuming you can leave your machine for a bit I was hoping you might agree to have coffee with me?”

“Sure,” Jared rushes to answer. It’s not his lunch break, but he’s hopeful Rob will agree. He let this beta walk out of his life a month ago and has barely stopped thinking of him since. He doesn’t want to make the mistake again. “Just let me tell my boss.”

It takes less than a sentence, Rob waving Jared away almost before Jared starts to beg. Then he’s walking around the corner to the coffee shop next to Misha like they’re old friends. It’s not until they’ve settled into the back corner booth that Misha drops the small talk and gets to the point.

“After we left the hospital I spent the next week and half nursing Jensen through his first heat,” Misha announces bluntly.

His gaze doesn’t waver as Jared almost knocks over his coffee. “What do you think triggered it?” He manages to ask.

“You.” Misha says levelly. Jared forgets to breathe. “I think you caused it, I think that day in the hospital with you and the way you both helped me triggered Jensen finally, after all these years. I think he found his match in you and I’m guessing by the way you look right now you feel the same way.”

Jared wants to argue with him, wants to deny that there is anything wrong, but he knows he can’t, his pheromones are crazy at the idea of what Jensen might look like in heat so much so the other patrons close by are shifting in their seats unconsciously in reaction to what Jared is pumping into the air. He stares down at the table between he and Misha and tries to will his erection down.

“He cried for you,” Misha leans forward and whispers almost right into Jared’s ear. “Nothing I did could give him relief and so many times I started to march into the hospital and drag you home with me. He begged me not do it, but you didn’t see him like that, so needy and out of control.”

“Stop!” Jared barks out as he presses his face to the table, he’s going to grab Misha in a second, drag him to the bathroom and do something horrible to him if this keeps going. Something is burning inside him and he’s almost lost control.

Misha swallows, leaning away before he says in a voice that’s strained and breaking, “If you want him…I’ll leave. You’d be a good mate for him and he would be happy with you. I know you feel the pull toward him. I wanted to meet with you so we could discuss it. You could have him; I won’t get in the way.”

Misha’s words are probably more effective than being doused with ice water. Jared’s out of control libido is stamped down and replaced with rage. “I thought you loved him.”

“I DO!” Misha snarls as he nearly lunges across the table. “Don’t you ever doubt that. But you…you can give him something I never could. He can have a normal life with you, maybe one day he’ll go into heat again and have family with you. I can’t do those things for him. I just want him to be happy.”

There’s so much pain in Misha’s scent and voice that Jared doesn’t even try to hold onto his anger. He gets up instead, rounding the booth to slide in next to Misha and gather the smaller beta up close. Misha struggles for just a moment against him before inhaling deeply and melting into Jared’s side. “You make him happy,” Jared whispers against Misha’s unruly hair as he squeezes him close. “And normal lives are overrated. Misha…I’ve never mated because it never felt right to me. To be honest, I’m not sure I want to have children. So if that’s what Jensen and you want, then maybe I’m not for you.”

He feels more than hears Misha rumble against his chest. “We’ve never talked about it. I mean, we never had the option before now so it wasn’t an issue.”

“Well, you should talk about it; even if the discussion has nothing to do with me because that is a big deal.” Jared hesitates, but Hell, at this point he doesn’t have anything to lose. “Besides, I’m not interested in just Jensen so you leaving wouldn’t really do me any good.”

Misha tenses.

“I want you, too.” Jared murmurs, soft and low, into the beta’s ear just in case he’s confused.

“I’m…used,” Misha hisses the word out like he can’t stand it and Jared answers his declaration with a rumbling growl of distaste.

“You,” he argues, “are a perfect example of a beta. You’re fierce and smart and loyal. You’re thinking of your mate and his needs even though you’re hurting at what you’re trying to do. Misha…I want you both. I think I need you both. This last month has been miserable and lonely like I’ve never felt before. Just being near you, being able to scent you makes me feel almost whole again. I’m just missing Jensen.”

They sit in silence for a long time, until the clock ticks by and Jared has to go back to his shift. They have so much to talk about and are missing the person they need to do the talking with. In the end, Jared writes his number, address, and email on a napkin and presses it into Misha’s trembling hand before whispering, “Talk to him. If I’m something you might be looking for then you know how to find me.”

He can’t resist the urge to press a quick kiss against Misha’s temple and as he rushes back to the hospital Jared has to fight off the urge to howl for the first time in his life.

*****

It’s a week later when the first email shows up in his inbox. He doesn’t recognize the sender and almost sends it to the trash box without opening it until he sees that the subject line says in all caps DO NOT DELETE THIS WE ARE NOT SPAM! Jared laughs as he opens it and scans the pictures inside. It’s a weird mix of recent snapshots and scanned in pictures from both Misha and Jensen’s childhoods. He walks around for the rest of the day with a dopey grin on his face.

The text messages start the next day.

Jensen stole my coffee. Spank him.

Misha ate the last cookie. He’s mean.

Jensen’s just told me to go blow myself. Have I mentioned I can actually do that?

Misha is awesome!

Ignore that last tweet. Misha stole my phone.

Jared laughs until he wheezes as his phone buzzes periodically throughout the day. By the time he gets home there’s a package on his front porch. Jared drags it inside and opens it up still smiling when his senses are assaulted by what he finds inside. A piece of cloth, small enough to be hidden in a pocket, soft as silk and totally covered with both of their scents. They had to have carried it with them for days for it to be so saturated and Jared spends long moments holding it to his face and inhaling their smells imprinting them onto his memory. It’s a keepsake that alphas usually give to their prospective partners. Not the other way around.

Finally, after and hour of gripping the cloth and thinking he picks up his phone and texts

I think you have this backwards. I’m supposed to be courting you.

It’s Jensen that answers, normality is overrated. We’re a progressive group. We’re making our own way.

Jared grins typing, miss you.

us too. Now let us in, it’s cold out here. Misha answers.

There’s a knock at that door and Jared leaps to his feet to welcome his future inside.

The first few dates are…interesting. It’s unusual for an alpha to court more than one mate at any given time. It’s unheard of for an alpha to be courted at all, much less by an already mated pair. Even though Misha and Jensen’s relationship will never be recognized without an alpha being a part of it, Jared still views them as mates and a lot of the time, as they begin to try and weave their lives together, he feels like an outsider.

They have a short hand they use when speaking to one another that leaves Jared baffled and struggling to catch up with the their often passionate conversations. They argue, it’s not frequent or violent, but it is personal and Jared’s not sure if he’s reached that level of intimacy with either of them and it makes him uncomfortable.

It’s pretty obvious they don’t always know what to do with him either. They initially try Jared with each of them individually, but Jensen feels guilty about not being with Misha and Misha stumbles around Jared like he can’t really believe Jared might want him. For his part, Jared never feels completely at ease unless he’s with both of them so they discuss it and decide to only share time together when all three of them are free.

That choice almost ends the courtship all together. Jared works nights and they work days and early evenings. After two weeks of missed dates due to Jared getting called in for extra shifts and Jensen and Misha having a large architecture project they are struggling to finish Jared almost gives up on the whole thing. He slinks home from his shift at the hospital exhausted, lonely, and angry at the world in general for teasing him with something he didn’t even think he wanted by giving him a taste of being a part of something bigger than himself and then refusing to let him have it all. He glares at his empty bed not wanting to slide into it alone before rubbing at his eyes and picking up his phone.

“Jensen?” Jared says when the omega picks up. “Can I come over? I know you guys have to work but…I don’t want to be here alone.”

Pride? What’s that? Fuck pride.

Something inside his chest uncurls when Jensen doesn’t even hesitate to agree. Jared’s on his way to their apartment as soon as he’s off the phone, nothing but a change of clothing in his bag.

“You look like crap.” Misha comments as he opens the door to let Jared inside. But he’s smiling and he doesn’t complain as Jared lifts him up off the floor to hug him tightly to his chest. He runs his fingers through Jared’s hair as they embrace and then rumbles warmly as Jensen wraps his arms around both of them turning their embrace into a group hug.

Jared relaxes so quickly surrounded by their scents that for a second he thinks his bones might be melting. “You guys make me feel so good.”

Jensen makes a pleased humming sound against his upper arm before stepping away smiling. “Same here. You should get some rest. Do you have to work tonight?”

“No,” Jared shakes his head. “I was hoping to surprise you, I’ve got a week off and then I switch over to day shift for good. I just can’t stand not seeing you guys more often. I’m sorry; I should have asked you if that would be okay with you first.”

He watches Misha scent the air and knows he must be projecting his anxiety. Jared bites his lip as the beta reaches up and tugs on his hair, dragging his head down until their faces almost meet before tipping his face up and brushing their lips together.

Kissing, he’s kissing Misha.

Jared flounders for a moment. His instincts telling him to grab the beta pin him to the wall and work his mouth open until he can taste himself in the smaller man’s mouth. But Misha’s mate is standing right beside them watching and Jared doesn’t want to disrespect Jensen. He jerks in Misha’s grip when he feels Jensen’s hand on the back of his head. Jared can smell Jensen’s scent heavy with arousal. “Fuck Jared,” Jensen whispers into his ear. “Give it to him. Can’t you see he wants you?”

The alpha inside Jared roars to life. All thoughts of holding off evaporate as he growls into Misha’s mouth and turns him until he’s pressing the beta between his body and the wall of the apartment. Misha’s mewling against Jared’s lips, clinging to his shirt and spreading his thighs around the knee Jared is slipping between his legs. There are pheromones everywhere, filling the room with the mixed scents pouring off their bodies. Misha’s squirming against Jared’s front and Jensen’s pressed hot and hard against Jared’s back.

It’s a taste, sweet and passionate, of their potential together. Jared’s ready to drag them both to bed and claim them. He knows it’s too soon, they have so much more to work out and for his claim on them to be true it needs to be done during a heat. Jared’s hesitated to even bring that up given Misha’s history. But before he can draw himself away and take some deep breaths Misha is doing that for him. He’s licking at Jared’s mouth, hot, wet and wonderful before turning Jared in his arms until he’s face to face with Jensen.

The omega’s eyes are bloodshot and Jensen is chewing his already plump bottom lip until it’s red and even more swollen. “Kiss him,” Misha orders as he gently shoves Jared forward. It’s all the encouragement that Jared needs to reach out and drag Jensen in against his body. Jensen almost snarls as Jared’s lips close over his, biting into Jared’s lower lip before soothing the nip with his tongue and plundering Jared’s mouth. Jared’s so turned on he feels his knot swell up, it’s embarrassing as he drags his mouth away from Jensen’s, Jared’s a fully grown alpha and he’s about to come, untouched in his pants.

“Jesus,” Jared pants as Jensen’s hands wander up and down his chest like the omega can’t decide where and what to touch. Jensen snorts in reaction and Misha Rumbles weakly against his side. The beta’s hands slide over his hips to cup where Jared’s dick is aching through his pants. Jared lets out a ragged groan, gripping Jensen harder in reaction and having to toss his head back and growl out loud as Jensen’s hands slide down to join Misha’s along his shaft.

“You’re so big,” Jensen whispers, sounding shocked and awed by it.

“He’s never taken a knot,” Misha murmurs and Jared gasps as his dick spasms and he blurts precome into his underwear. Jensen groans in response and that does it, Jared has to untangle himself from their scent, their touches or he’s going to come everywhere.

He’s halfway across the room before he has himself under control enough to turn back and look at them. It’s almost a relief that they both look just as wrecked as he feels.

“I put out towels for you,” Jensen says almost dazed. “We thought you might want to shower before you go to bed.”

“We didn’t change the sheets thought,” Misha adds with a wicked grin. “We had sex on them last night and thought you might like the smell of us together.”

Lust rages hot and fast through Jared’s veins again. “You are evil,” Jared accuses. But he has to admit the idea of slipping into bed surround by their scents makes him ache for it to be more than just a one time thing.

“We’ll be back by five,” Jensen assures him with a smile. “Sleep well.”

As he heads to the bathroom and hears the door close behind his potential mates Jared doesn’t doubt he’ll sleep better now than he has for weeks.

****

“So I was thinking we should look for a bigger place for the three of us,” Misha says one night as he’s making dinner with Jared in the kitchen. Jensen’s setting the table in their apartment that’s crammed into the corner of their living room.

He’s got a point; things are really cramped up here with Jared spending almost all his time with them for the past three months. His place is barely big enough for him by himself so if they want more space they don’t really have any other options.

“Are you ready to take me on for good?” Jared asks and then laughs as Jensen slaps him in the back of the head with a napkin.

“We belong together,” Jensen announces as he comes up beside Jared nudging him with his hip and slipping a hand in the back of Jared’s jeans. He reaches across the counter to stroke his fingers across Misha’s cheek and Jared grins at the intimacy they’ve worked so hard to develop together. Those feelings of being on the outside have evaporated a long time ago leaving connections forged through mutual affection and friendship.

“I love you,” Jared blurts and enjoys the wide eyes looks both his partners give him. “I should have said that sooner. It’s been floating around in my chest for a long time.”

“I love you, too,” Jensen says as he presses his face into Jared’s shoulder.

Misha grins, “Ditto.”

They laugh.

“We need to find a place pretty quickly,” Misha adds as he turns to pull dinner out of the oven. “We haven’t talked a lot about it, but my heat is going to coming soon. I know a lot of betas take suppressant but they’ve never worked for me. They make me really sick. So…no babies or anything but the physical process is going to happen again in about a month and a half and I would really like to be all settled together before that.”

“I’m sorry, Misha,” Jared offers. He’s still not comfortable with Misha’s past relationship, the violations he suffered both during his time with his previous alpha, and with what it cost him to be free of the mating.

Misha blushes, “This is the first time in my whole life I’ve been looking forward to a heat.” His eyes roam the room before finally settling on Jared and meeting his gaze. “You’re going to take care of me.” It’s not a question but Jared still nods. “You’re going to claim me, make me yours. I want that so much. It can’t get here fast enough. I want the three of us to share a claim so bad. But, I want all your stuff to be here so if you decide you want to listen to your ipod while I ride you like a pony it will be three drawers down in the closet instead of across town.”

Jensen explodes with laughter. Jared blinks, mind still stuck on the image of Misha in full heat taking Jared into his body again and again. He shakes it off when Jensen pinches his ass.

Finding an apartment becomes a top priority.

*****

They’re still unpacking boxes in their new place six weeks later when Jared suddenly scents a change in Misha. The beta’s smell becoming sharper, richer, in the air of the their new home and Jared finds himself buried elbow deep unpacking a box while he stills and stares at his prospective mate.

Misha’s sweating, rolling his shoulders and scratching at his chest like he feels his skin is too tight. He’s squirming a little where he’s crouched on the other side of the room and Jared feels himself rumble, low and possessive, in his throat in reaction to the enticing smell of Misha going into heat in front of him.

Misha freezes in the process of putting some books up on the shelf and turns to regard Jared with a look of confusion for a moment before his eyes widen and a flush crawls up his cheeks. He bites his lip, slides onto his hands and knees and whines high pitched and pleading. Then he’s crawling across the room separating them on instinct, coming to press the top of his head against Jared’s shoulder as he pants. Jared stays frozen, inhaling deep breaths of Misha’s scent before exhaling it out in louder and louder growls. They stay stuck in place for a long moment. Jared waiting for Misha to meet his gaze and encourage his advances, Misha waiting for Jared to claim him; Jensen comes around the corner from the kitchen carrying a box. He’s saying something, Jared doesn’t understand it, too focused on Misha’s proximity to care. But then Jensen’s dropping the box in the middle of the room and scenting the air around them before his eyes glaze over.

Misha whimpers, rubbing his face against Jared’s neck and then Jensen is touching both of their heads, petting through their hair before tugging Misha’s head back until Jared can look down at the beta and see his eyes. “He doesn’t understand why you’re waiting,” Jensen tell him in a choked off voice. “The other one never asked for permission. He just took what he wanted.”

Rage floods Jared for an instant before Misha reacts to his change in scent by trying to struggle away. Then Jared shakes it off, not wanting his beta to be frightened and manages to pull himself out of his fog enough to ask, “Will you have me?”

Misha nods, tears rolling down his cheeks as he relaxes, the tension leaving his body as Jared cups his face and smiles. He hears Jensen exhale shakily before stepping behind Misha and helping him take his shirt off. Jared’s fingers trace the huge, ugly scar left on Misha’s shoulder from his first alpha. The bastard must have taken a chunk out of Misha to leave a mating mark so big and Jared can feel Misha’s body jumping in reaction to his touch.

“I’m sorry,” Misha pants. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to wait for you. I’m sorry I let him have me first.”

Jared snorts, rolling his eyes before dropping his head to mouth along the scar whispering, “I’m not. I love you, I love how you are. It’s just a scar Misha. It doesn’t make you belong to him any more than my mark means you belong to me. This bond for us is different. I’m going to mark you, but you’re going to mark me too.”

“Jesus,” Jensen moans. “Sometimes I think you aren’t real. So fucking perfect.”

Misha manages a laugh even as he rolls his hips up toward Jared’s body. “Yeah, yeah,” the beta grumbles as he reaches to unbutton his jeans. “Perfect and all that, love you, want you, all the mushy stuff. I’m horny here. Help a beta out, okay?”

He’s still rumbling as they tug Misha out of his pants. The beta’s erection already swollen and leaking while Jensen tips his head back to kiss him and Jared licks and sucks his way across his peaked nipples and down his belly. Misha spreads his legs wantonly, hips still working against the air and seeking the friction that Jared’s purposely denying him.

“Tease!” Misha accuses as Jared licks his way around Misha’s dick before tugging his legs further apart and pushing his knee up to suck along the sensitive inside of the beta’s thigh before biting down breaking the skin, and leaving his mark.

It’s done, Misha’s claimed and Jared’s alpha instincts all but purr with contentment. But Jared’s ruled by his heart more than his nature, always has been and he reaches up to cup the back of Jensen’s head, bring him down until the omega’s mouth is hovering over the bite. “Claim him,” Jared suggests as he pets Jensen’s head. “It’s the three of us.” Jared urges when Jensen hesitates. “Not just about me. We aren’t like that.”

Jensen bites down with a groan just as Jared dips his head and sucks Misha’s dick deep into his throat. Misha cries out, surrounded by his mates and in the throes of his heat he comes, pouring down his alpha’s throat. It’s not enough, even as his body goes slack onto the ground Jared can still smell the heat building and he and Jensen waste no time throwing off their clothing and hauling Misha’s limp body to the giant bed they just purchased not a day to soon.

“Oh God,” Misha moans as he rolls immediately onto his stomach. “Please fuck me, I need it. Knot me now!”

“Easy,” Jared soothes him. “Bossy.” It’s said with warmth and Misha rumbles weakly into the sheets as Jared soothes his hands up and down the beta’s sides and Jensen combs his fingers through Misha’s hair. “You’ve done this before but I haven’t. Let me enjoy this. I’ll take care of you, I promise.”

Jared knows the second both his lovers process what he’s trying to telling them. “You’ve never knotted before?” Jensen asks.

“No,” Jared shrugs. “It’s something you do with your mates and I’ve waited for you guys a long time. I’ve been intimate, but never knotted.”

Jensen makes a choked off noise but Jared’s not too focused on it, paying more attention to working two slicked up fingers into Misha’s body and so turned on by how easily Misha takes them that he has to think about his dad naked to keep from popping his knot too early. When he does look up he sees Jensen slowly fucking Misha’s mouth as the beta lets out a litany of greedy moans of pleasure. Jared can’t wait anymore, pushing his dick into Misha’s body all the way to the hilt and growling as the beta, his beta rocks back against him greedily. He loses himself in thrusting, watching as Misha takes Jensen to the edge and then pushes him over. Jensen pulls out at the last second, coming all over Misha’s chest while Misha almost howls. Jared’s knot swells, making it hard to withdraw form his mate’s body. Then, finally, it’s too big, Jared’s knotted for the first time and the sensation of Misha’s tight ass clenching down on him is too much, he keeps rocking his hips knowing that Misha feels every little change of position.

Then Misha clamps down and cries out into the sheets, his body spasming as he comes for the second time. The hot press of his body forces Jared’s orgasm and he grabs his mate’s hips and pours his come in hot waves into Misha’s body.

That first time they stay tied for nearly three hours. But after the next day, when Misha’s heat hits it’s peak it’s nothing for Jared to find himself shoved back into Jensen’s waiting arms so that Misha, good to his word, can ride him hard and fast to orgasm. By that point it’s down to around an hour.

It’s one of those in-between times, while Jared is drifting, still knotted to Misha and trying to rest, that he’s startled back into awareness by Misha barking out, “Seriously Jensen?! You just couldn’t wait your turn, could you?”

Jared’s tired, not used to the demands of a mate in heat. He’s enjoyed the intimacy, but he’s been grateful for every break he gets to sleep. Misha is an adorably demanding beta now that their bond is firmly established. He takes all kinds of liberties with Jared’s body and Jared’s loved them all. But still, he’s confused to find his beta glaring at his omega as he opens his eyes. Jensen looks sheepishly uncomfortable and Jared’s sluggish brain has a hard time catching up with why.

But then he takes a deep breath and everything becomes crystal clear.

“You’re in heat,” Jared whispers wonderingly.

”I guess you guys just do it for me” Jensen says shyly.

Misha groans at the bad joke but Jared has a hard time hiding his smile. Sure, he’s exhausted, well fucked already, and was hoping for a rest. But while Jared might not be your typical alpha, he sure isn’t going to complain about servicing both of his incredibly attractive mates as long as they need him.

There is a downside, thinking about knotting Jensen makes Jared’s knot swell inside of Misha. “Ummm…” Jared offers weakly as Misha wriggles back happily against him and starts rocking his way to another orgasm while Jensen glares at them both. “I’m a little occupied here. Maybe you could fuck me?”

Misha freezes, Jensen blinks before asking, “You want me to penetrate you?”

“Hell, yes,” Jared pants as he grabs Misha’s hips to encourage him to go back to rocking. It feels too good to stop. “You know I don’t believe in all that alpha leader bullshit.”

Jensen’s scrambling across the bed so fast he’s almost a blur. Jared only catches a glimpse of the two mating marks adorning Jensen’s thigh as he scoots past. The sight makes him focus on the scratch of the sheet against the marks on his thigh as well. Jared rumbles as his omega grabs the lube and scoots around behind him, letting out a shocked and ragged groan as Jensen’s first finger slips over his opening. Misha rocks back that much harder and growls, “Lucky omega ass.”

Jared huffs out his pleasure and amusement, only slightly concerned he might not make it through both their heats alive.

Though, even if he doesn’t, he could think of worse ways to go.