Over Me, Part One!
Okay, screw paranoia. This is the first part of the short story I've been working on. It was loosely inspired by an idea I had for a Panic at the Disco fanfiction, but I don't write fanfics because I don't think I could pull them off. So now I have a short story with Kohl and Chase, two very lovely boys I made up all by myself. ^_^
I am VERY open ( Read more... )
Comments 3
Kohl & Chase... should like a store and a bank... I suggest changing Kohl. You could just name him Cole.
For some reason, this struck me as mildly awkward "...goddamn corner of Chicago..." with having mentioned Chicago 2 sentences previously. My suggestion... "...goddamn corner of the city...".
I like the random nosey bitch. You should make her a reappearing character. :-) Or not.
"strand" should be "strain".
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Except there shall be no name changing, because I have thought this over well, and in terms of couples it bothers me when the names don't look or sound good together. "Cole" was a considered spelling, but it it looks like a bitchy rich kid's name on paper. Kohl is a much more playful spelling and fits the character. Chase sounds awesome with Kohl and also fits the character well. I've given this much thought and though they sound like corporations if you think on them, they will not change. Sorry. ^_^
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OK, well, maybe one-billion-and-first (if that's a number).
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