All I want is for this nightmare of a year to be over.

I just lost the game.

School sucks.
Obviously.
I don't even know if I can do this anymore.

The more I think about it, the more I want Plan B.
Like... really, really want it.
And I am praying about doing it.
It is not "the plan".
But does that matter any more?

 I can not even begin to tell you how close I have come lately to jumping on a greyhound to Oklahoma, and asking Nina if I could stay with her room with The Ruckus if I got a job and paid rent. Because I am pretty sure I could get a job.

And I just don't care about anything going on in my life.

I don't have much to say ( Read more... )

Positively 4th Street
- Bob Dylan

You got a lotta nerve
To say you are my friend
When I was down
You just stood there grinning

You got a lotta nerve
To say you got a helping hand to lend
You just want to be on
The side that's winning

You say I let you down
You know it's not like that
If you're so hurt
Why then don't you show it

You say you lost your faith
But ( Read more... )

I am really, really happy ( Read more... )

The more I use my new laptop...
The more I don't want to give Dad my old one...
I HATE WINDOWS VISTA.

It 's kind of funny... the older I get... the less I see myself ever having kids.

To begin, there are so many things I want to do while I am "young."
I want to travel.
I want to live with someone who loves me in a rediculously small house and survive on peanut butter sandwiches.
I want to study.
I want to dedicate myself to literature, theatre, and ( Read more... )

Last night I had a dream. Of how things were supposed to be this year. It made it so wierd to wake up. Because that path felt so much more realistic than the one I am on. It is where I believed I would be. It was like seeing my present the way I thought it would be.

One of my favorite movies is History Boys. In it, a character states, "I'm not happy ( Read more... )