variations on the word love [Ver. G], part 2
notes:
Sorry about the delay! Wanted to update much earlier but uh, real-life happened.
"I'm really sorry to say this but after some careful consideration, we have changed our plans and we will be debuting an idol group instead." Yang Hyunsuk had said, lips pressed together in a familiar look. "We will be recruiting new trainees from next week onwards."
Jiyong had clamped down on his emotions and turned pale as a sheet then but his first impulse was to rage at his company president and call him an asshole, gestures included. Youngbae was flushed, and he could read the emotions the other boy was barely keeping a hold on in his eyes. He reached over and took Youngbae's hand, squeezing it tight; the other frowned and shot Jiyong a look before shrugging his hand off, smoothing out his face once more.
They were sent back to their dorm, heads filled with questions and doubts.
This isn't what I signed up for, Jiyong thought to himself.
It sounded like a joke but it really wasn't. He didn't sign up with YG and trained like crazy for the last five years in order to debut with a bunch of other boys who barely put in half of the effort for what they had already done. He was a rapper dammit, and he didn't want to join the other boys in becoming one in a group of synchronised dancers. Wasn't that why he left SM to begin with, because they didn't know what to do with him, and they couldn't put him into a group worth debuting with?
He didn't speak to Youngbae for the rest of the day, letting the other stew in his own temper.
The rest of the night was spent sleepless, as he tried to convince himself to hold on, to not let all the effort he had already put in go to waste. He got up and started flipping through his CDs in an attempt to play something, anything, to distract himself from thoughts of quitting. Something old then, he decided, picking up a Wu-Tang Clan CD which he hadn't listened to for some time, just to remember why he was here to begin with.
A piece of paper drifted to the floor when he opened the CD case and he picked it up, puzzled, before realising quickly who had written it.
Thanks for the CD, bro. They're awesome.
xoxo
Jiyong smiled, suddenly remembering a boy who spoke what was on his mind and believed in what he wanted.
Still thinking about Yang Hyunsuk's words from that afternoon, Jiyong firmed his resolved and decided that if he was going to be part of an idol group, he should at least have a say on what kind of idol group they were going to become.
Trying to locate Choi Seunghyun turned out to be a harder task than he thought, Jiyong later realised, standing at a corner of the floor in a club which he barely managed to get into. The place was a popular hangout for people who loved hip-hop music and often featured underground rappers. That was the main reason why he was there, to look at the underground rappers performing tonight.
Miraculously, he did manage to find the number to Seunghyun's house line among the piles of crap he had accumulated in his old room over the years, but when he did get hold of the other boy, Seunghyun had told him it was difficult to discuss the matter over the phone. He also mentioned something about being active underground with the name Tempo (Jiyong later looked up on Tempo and was not so secretly impressed by the work done so far) and performing at a club in Hongdae which Jiyong had never been to before. Seunghyun's idea was to meet up after his gig; they could go to one of those twenty-four hour coffee places to discuss what Jiyong was suggesting in detail.
He mentioned about heading to the club in passing to Sean, and while it didn't surprise him to find out that Sean knew about the place, knew it well, he was surprised at how encouraging his senior had been about the visit.
You have go out there and see what they're doing. It will help you grow into the kind of artist you want to be. YG is great but it's not everything.
The music started up and Jiyong was distracted from his thoughts, watching the stage for a familiar figure. When Tempo finally stepped on Jiyong couldn't help grinning, because it felt as if very little about the other boy had changed over the years, despite having a deeper voice and an even more menacing presence on the stage now. Tempo might look like he lived off a daily diet of rage and vulgarities but Jiyong knew better.
He enjoyed himself thoroughly that night, something he hadn't done in a while now and he resolved to bring Youngbae along the next time, as well as introduce Seunghyun to his best friend at the first opportunity available. Jiyong waited by the back exit of the club for Seunghyun, feeling an indescribable yet comforting warmth spreading in his chest when the older boy greeted him with a familiar handshake combination from their younger days.
"You're looking real good," Jiyong was smiling and slapping Seunghyun on the arm, forgetting himself in the moment due to excitement but the other didn't seem to mind and only smiled in return, dimples showing. "Hyung, that was totally dope."
Seunghyun, predictably, turned shy before turning proud. "There were a lot of good rappers in the house tonight."
They spent most of the night catching up and Jiyong was truly enjoying himself, listening to the tales Seunghyun shared about the underground movement. Things were certainly different and interesting, and there didn't seem to be any restrictions in place to stop the older from doing what he wanted to either. As the night drew on, Jiyong found himself trying to explain about YG, about the recruitment of new trainees and how he thought Seunghyun would make a perfect addition to their group. After all, who had ever heard of having two rappers in an idol group?
It looked as if he had managed to convince Seunghyun though, when the older boy nodded seriously and suggested sending in demo tapes for Hyunsuk to review.
"I'll help," Jiyong picked up, then put down his coffee mug, gesturing. "You're amazing on your own but we need to select and focus on those areas which will hook sajangnim and reel him in."
"Yeah," Seunghyun was nodding, looking so serious and focused and so unlike his usual self that Jiyong burst out laughing suddenly, waving off the other's frown. "What."
"No, no," Jiyong tried to calm himself down, but he couldn't stop the grin from surfacing. "Hyung. You look like you're about to have a school exam." He giggled and coughed, still holding up a hand. "Except that you were never this concerned about exams."
Seunghyun grinned in return, reaching up to touch the back of his nape in an embarrassed move. "Yeah, exams are a waste of time anyway."
They moved off the topic of demo tapes and continued talking about other things, catching up on each other's current interests until it turned late and Jiyong knew he wouldn't be going back to the dorm that night. He would probably regret doing this the next day but looking at Seunghyun, at the way he was joking so cheerfully about inappropriate things and how good it had felt then, connecting with a like-minded individual on the things which fuelled his passion and life, he felt that it would be worth it.
Maybe he would rethink this tomorrow morning during dance practice but that would be tomorrow and Seunghyun's presence demanded that he lived in today.
Sorry about the delay! Wanted to update much earlier but uh, real-life happened.
"I'm really sorry to say this but after some careful consideration, we have changed our plans and we will be debuting an idol group instead." Yang Hyunsuk had said, lips pressed together in a familiar look. "We will be recruiting new trainees from next week onwards."
Jiyong had clamped down on his emotions and turned pale as a sheet then but his first impulse was to rage at his company president and call him an asshole, gestures included. Youngbae was flushed, and he could read the emotions the other boy was barely keeping a hold on in his eyes. He reached over and took Youngbae's hand, squeezing it tight; the other frowned and shot Jiyong a look before shrugging his hand off, smoothing out his face once more.
They were sent back to their dorm, heads filled with questions and doubts.
This isn't what I signed up for, Jiyong thought to himself.
It sounded like a joke but it really wasn't. He didn't sign up with YG and trained like crazy for the last five years in order to debut with a bunch of other boys who barely put in half of the effort for what they had already done. He was a rapper dammit, and he didn't want to join the other boys in becoming one in a group of synchronised dancers. Wasn't that why he left SM to begin with, because they didn't know what to do with him, and they couldn't put him into a group worth debuting with?
He didn't speak to Youngbae for the rest of the day, letting the other stew in his own temper.
The rest of the night was spent sleepless, as he tried to convince himself to hold on, to not let all the effort he had already put in go to waste. He got up and started flipping through his CDs in an attempt to play something, anything, to distract himself from thoughts of quitting. Something old then, he decided, picking up a Wu-Tang Clan CD which he hadn't listened to for some time, just to remember why he was here to begin with.
A piece of paper drifted to the floor when he opened the CD case and he picked it up, puzzled, before realising quickly who had written it.
Thanks for the CD, bro. They're awesome.
xoxo
Jiyong smiled, suddenly remembering a boy who spoke what was on his mind and believed in what he wanted.
Still thinking about Yang Hyunsuk's words from that afternoon, Jiyong firmed his resolved and decided that if he was going to be part of an idol group, he should at least have a say on what kind of idol group they were going to become.
Trying to locate Choi Seunghyun turned out to be a harder task than he thought, Jiyong later realised, standing at a corner of the floor in a club which he barely managed to get into. The place was a popular hangout for people who loved hip-hop music and often featured underground rappers. That was the main reason why he was there, to look at the underground rappers performing tonight.
Miraculously, he did manage to find the number to Seunghyun's house line among the piles of crap he had accumulated in his old room over the years, but when he did get hold of the other boy, Seunghyun had told him it was difficult to discuss the matter over the phone. He also mentioned something about being active underground with the name Tempo (Jiyong later looked up on Tempo and was not so secretly impressed by the work done so far) and performing at a club in Hongdae which Jiyong had never been to before. Seunghyun's idea was to meet up after his gig; they could go to one of those twenty-four hour coffee places to discuss what Jiyong was suggesting in detail.
He mentioned about heading to the club in passing to Sean, and while it didn't surprise him to find out that Sean knew about the place, knew it well, he was surprised at how encouraging his senior had been about the visit.
You have go out there and see what they're doing. It will help you grow into the kind of artist you want to be. YG is great but it's not everything.
The music started up and Jiyong was distracted from his thoughts, watching the stage for a familiar figure. When Tempo finally stepped on Jiyong couldn't help grinning, because it felt as if very little about the other boy had changed over the years, despite having a deeper voice and an even more menacing presence on the stage now. Tempo might look like he lived off a daily diet of rage and vulgarities but Jiyong knew better.
He enjoyed himself thoroughly that night, something he hadn't done in a while now and he resolved to bring Youngbae along the next time, as well as introduce Seunghyun to his best friend at the first opportunity available. Jiyong waited by the back exit of the club for Seunghyun, feeling an indescribable yet comforting warmth spreading in his chest when the older boy greeted him with a familiar handshake combination from their younger days.
"You're looking real good," Jiyong was smiling and slapping Seunghyun on the arm, forgetting himself in the moment due to excitement but the other didn't seem to mind and only smiled in return, dimples showing. "Hyung, that was totally dope."
Seunghyun, predictably, turned shy before turning proud. "There were a lot of good rappers in the house tonight."
They spent most of the night catching up and Jiyong was truly enjoying himself, listening to the tales Seunghyun shared about the underground movement. Things were certainly different and interesting, and there didn't seem to be any restrictions in place to stop the older from doing what he wanted to either. As the night drew on, Jiyong found himself trying to explain about YG, about the recruitment of new trainees and how he thought Seunghyun would make a perfect addition to their group. After all, who had ever heard of having two rappers in an idol group?
It looked as if he had managed to convince Seunghyun though, when the older boy nodded seriously and suggested sending in demo tapes for Hyunsuk to review.
"I'll help," Jiyong picked up, then put down his coffee mug, gesturing. "You're amazing on your own but we need to select and focus on those areas which will hook sajangnim and reel him in."
"Yeah," Seunghyun was nodding, looking so serious and focused and so unlike his usual self that Jiyong burst out laughing suddenly, waving off the other's frown. "What."
"No, no," Jiyong tried to calm himself down, but he couldn't stop the grin from surfacing. "Hyung. You look like you're about to have a school exam." He giggled and coughed, still holding up a hand. "Except that you were never this concerned about exams."
Seunghyun grinned in return, reaching up to touch the back of his nape in an embarrassed move. "Yeah, exams are a waste of time anyway."
They moved off the topic of demo tapes and continued talking about other things, catching up on each other's current interests until it turned late and Jiyong knew he wouldn't be going back to the dorm that night. He would probably regret doing this the next day but looking at Seunghyun, at the way he was joking so cheerfully about inappropriate things and how good it had felt then, connecting with a like-minded individual on the things which fuelled his passion and life, he felt that it would be worth it.
Maybe he would rethink this tomorrow morning during dance practice but that would be tomorrow and Seunghyun's presence demanded that he lived in today.