fic: the sense of catching up with me
uh, singer somehow becomes a deadly sin and cash is forced to help him. i don't know either.
the sense of catching up with me
Cash/Singer
R 4836
this fic mentions: the seven deadly sins, the devil, and sex. there's a lot of curse words as well.
Cash stops examining his fingernails and tries to give Alex his most sincere, lovely smile. “Put it this way: you can either go to Hell and burn for the rest of eternity or you can assume the role of Gluttony and spend the rest of eternity in Hell, but in a lovely little castle.”
Alex purses his lips. “No matter what I’m going to Hell, aren’t I?"
“So, uhm, really?” The boy asks nervously.
Cash feels sorry for him, just a little. This has never happened before. “Yeah, really.”
“Well, this really sucks. You said the Devil?”
Cash nods and examines his fingernails. “Yep, although he hates that name. He much prefers William, or Bill if you manage to get on his good side.”
The boy, Alex, nods solemnly. For someone who just died he’s taking the predicament a lot better than most do. Then again, Alex isn’t destined for eternal damnation. “So, like, there’s no one else who can fill her shoes?”
“Not that I’m aware of, unless you can point me in the right direction?”
Alex seems to contemplate this for a moment before he goes, “I don’t know anyone else.”
Cash stops examining his fingernails and tries to give Alex his most sincere, lovely smile. “Put it this way: you can either go to Hell and burn for the rest of eternity or you can assume the role of Gluttony and spend the rest of eternity in Hell, but in a lovely little castle.”
Alex purses his lips. “No matter what I’m going to Hell, aren’t I?”
“Pretty much.”
“Fine, fine,” Alex says without hesitation. “I’ll become Gluttony… but does that mean I have to get fat?”
Cash sighs a breath of relief and wraps an arm around Alex’s shoulders. Alex is a lot smaller than Cash first realized; his little curls itch the bottom of Cash’s chin. “Nope, no excess amount of fat rolls necessary and I think everyone would appreciate you keeping your womanly figure. The last Gluttony was a fat bitch.”
“I don’t have a womanly figure,” Alex protests haughtily even as Cash opens a portal to the Underworld. Usually Cash wouldn’t open a portal right here and right now with all these people starting to appear. Sure, they’re completely invisible to the mortal eye but gravity and Earth and particles are always a little bit funky and might explode or whatever and expose them to the entire world.
It doesn’t happen, of course, but Cash always likes to think into the future, just in case.
---
William greets Alex the way he greets anyone else: he puts out his hand to shake and when Alex extends his own he grabs his wrist and examines his palm. After a minute of Alex looking like, like Hell itself William lets go.
“Gluttony,” he says happily. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“My name is Alex DeLeon,” Alex corrects.
William smiles and Cash can see the irritation behind it, the little tint in William’s eyes that says he doesn’t like to be corrected. “That’s your old name,” William says. “You’re new name is Gluttony.”
Alex turns to Cash accusingly. “You never said my name would change.”
William doesn’t like to be second place either. He draws Alex’s face back in his direction with a silky-smooth hand, gives Alex this look that means don’t you dare turn away from me again. Alex swallows. “You agreed to become Gluttony so you must inherit everything that is the Sin, including the name.”
Alex looks pale. William fails to mention that Alex could change his mind any time, join his brethren in eternal damnation. Cash doesn’t say anything either.
“Don’t worry,” William says gently. He leans down and kisses Alex’s forehead, smoothes his hair back from his face. “You’ll get a nickname soon enough.”
“A nickname?” Alex asks with a little spark of hope in his voice. William smiles and this time his smile isn’t tricky, but sincere. “Yes Gluttony, a nickname. I’ll pick the name, but I promise you it will be appropriate.”
Alex nods and looks completely reinsured, like he’s putting all his faith and trust into William. William pulls Alex closer to his body and kisses the top of his head before he indicates to Cash with a swift movement of his hand that his services will no longer be needed.
---
William calls Cash into the throne room the next day. William’s perched on his black throne like the prince he is while Alex sits a little ways off in a chair that’s too big for him.
Cash goes to William immediately, refuses to meet Alex’s eye when the Sin tries to catch his attention. Alex is new and naïve and a bit stupid, knows nothing about how this castle operates.
“Cash,” William says excitedly and today he seems better, seems like he’s up for some jokes.
“My lovely princess,” Cash jokes and his breath hitches when it takes too long for William’s smile to appear but it does, this smile warm and happy. Cash only remembers to breathe again when William’s hand moves over his throat.
“I have a special request of you,” William says. “One that might upset others in this castle.”
Cash feels sick and nervous all over. He’s a favorite of William’s which already makes him hated. “Anything you wish,” Cash finally says.
“I want you to be Gluttony’s companion for a few days. Show our newest Sin how this castle operates.”
Cash hesitates to answer. “Sire,” he says. “Wouldn’t it be appropriate for someone like Marshall or Audrey to show Gluttony around, seeing as he will share the same duties?”
William bristles and Cash knows he was stupid in questioning William’s assignment. He waits for the slap or the punch but it never comes. William’s eyes are little slits of disappointment and rage. “I asked you to do this for a reason, Cash.”
Cash tries to nod but William’s gaze keeps Cash still, makes every muscle in his body tense. “Audrey has too much of a temperament to be allowed anywhere near our youngest Sin,” William says. “And for Marshall? That boy is testing my patience.” The last part is said with such anger and disgust that Cash can see Alex shaking in his seat.
“I understand,” Cash says shakily.
William relaxes and leans forward in his seat to kiss Cash’s cheek. “I knew you would, that’s why I’m trusting you. Now show the boy where the kitchens are, and the courtyard and all the fun things there are to do around here.”
Cash knows that means to get lost so he indicates to Alex. Alex springs out of his chair, kisses William’s cheek as he walks by, and leaves trailing behind Cash. As soon as they’re away from the door, two halls down he asks, “is he always like that?”
“Always agree to what he wants you to do,” is all Cash can reply.
Cash spends the next hour showing Alex everything there is about the castle. He makes sure they stop at the main entrance, makes sure that Alex knows he is never to step out those doors if he values his afterlife and his mental health. Alex gives him this naïve, perplexed look and Cash feels a coil in the pit of his stomach, something equal to guilt and maybe savagery.
“What’s out there?” Alex asks with as much curiosity as a cat, or something equal to a three-year-old. Alex can’t hear it because his ears are new and sensitive and he hasn’t been dead that long but Cash can hear it, knows the sound by heart. Out there is a million different people being burned for every last thing they did, trying to save their souls, and Cash can hear their constant wails.
Alex isn’t stupid, that’s for sure. Under his cool green eyes is a calculating genius that William refuses to acknowledge. “Outside,” Cash says. “Are the people who suffer eternal damnation.”
Alex, for all his young curiosity and innocent looks doesn’t look surprised. He stares at the doors menacingly before he cocks his head and says, “They had to go somewhere, didn’t they?” Cash doesn’t respond. “This is Hell,” Alex continues. “What could I expect?”
Under Alex’s eyes is a hidden genius that could probably calculate a way for William to make it to the living world and beyond. It’s a gift that Cash hopes Alex keeps hidden, for all of them.
Later, when Cash drops Alex back off at William’s throne room, William pulls him aside. “Singer,” William says with a confused certainty, his eyes never leaving Cash’s. “He has such a wonderful voice that I’ve decided to nickname him Singer.”
Cash was hoping that it would take William a couple of days, maybe a week for him to decide on Alex’s nickname but Cash hides his disappointment under a smile and nod. “I like it,” he says, even though Cash’s opinion doesn’t matter against William’s. “It suits him.”
William nods absently before he turns his attention to Sing - Alex. Cash is already starting to forget Alex’s real name.
---
Cash is spending time with Ian months later. He hasn’t seen Alex since the day he showed him around, and that’s how it’s supposed to be. Cash and the other Advocates see the Sins maybe one or twice a year and that’s how things should be, should always be.
Ian is distracted by something and Cash doesn’t question what it is because he thinks he knows that answer but he doesn’t want to confirm it, doesn’t want to think that Ian is deliberately disobeying William’s commands. He doesn’t want to see another friend thrown out the castle doors to suffer. “Stop it,” Cash finds himself saying, even if he doesn’t want to.
“Stop what?” Ian asks with a cool smile. They’re hidden away in the courtyard, under a fruit tree. Cash doesn’t know what fruit grows on the tree but he knows they’re not real, will crumble in his hands if he tries to investigate.
Cash is on his back. “I’m not saying it,” he says, “but you know what I’m talking about.”
Ian frowns. “I can’t help it.”
Cash doesn’t reply. Ian’s supposed to know what he’s doing but Cash doubts that he actually does. He doesn’t say more because it isn’t his place. There’s a fine line between ignoring William’s rules and not knowing the rules and Ian has crossed that line, plenty of times.
It’s quiet for a moment until a ruckus from one of the set of doors sets the birds hiding in the trees off. Cash ignores the sound to stare at the birds, to look at their dark feathers and their beady eyes. They’re beautiful from far away but when they come close their ugly exterior is made apparent. It is only a reflection of the world they live in.
“Shit,” Ian says suddenly because Alex is wandering over to them, a very lost look in his eyes. It’s been three months since Cash as seen Alex and he looks no different, still curly hair and broad shoulders and vibrant green eyes except for this time Alex’s eyes are ringed in red. “Cash,” he says when he’s close enough. “Cash, what’s my name?”
“Gluttony,” Cash replies and keeps his voice low. Despite how hidden they think they are William is always watching and Cash has this eerie feeling that makes him feel sick, this feeling that Alex is watched more closely than any other Sin or Advocate or servant. “Your name is Gluttony or Singer.”
Alex rubs at his eyes furiously and Cash is happy, actually happy, to realize that the redness around Alex’s eyes is from constant rubbing, not tears. “No, no,” he says. “My real name. What’s my real name.”
Ian reaches out and actually touches Alex, pulls him gently down so Alex is hidden behind the high wall and tree with them. Cash doesn’t know how Alex found them back here and he hopes to never discover the answer. “I have a real name,” Alex says. “The one I was born with.”
Every person who enters the castle is given a nickname, a new name to be associated with. Cash can’t remember his real name, will probably never remember the name he was born with or went by before he died. Things are better that way, things don’t get so confusing when you can’t remember your previous life. Ian makes a noise in the back of his throat and strokes Alex’s hand.
Cash knows what Alex’s real name is, keeps chanting it in his mind but refuses to say the word, refuses to let Singer -Alex- have that relief. “It doesn’t matter,” Cash says instead. “You’re name is Singer now.”
“You know what it is,” Singer says accusingly and suddenly, Cash realizes that he can’t remember. He can’t remember what Singer’s real name is and there’s no hope in asking Ian. “It’s okay,” Ian says. “We can’t remember our real names.”
Singer lets out a frustrated noise and falls into the grass. His curls fan around his face and he looks odd like that, maybe at peace, maybe fighting an internal battle. “This sucks,” he finally says.
“Oh the whoas of a Sin,” Ian says and falls over next to him. Their curls mix together and Cash thinks they shouldn’t do that before he too succumbs and falls over. He’s a little off from the other two, but he still fits together against them, his knee curled against Ian’s. “The other Sins suck,” Alex says. “they’re bitches.”
“Not Marshall,” Ian says defensively and Cash holds his shudder in just at the name. He secretly likes Marshall, secretly likes it when he can hear Marshall play piano from the music room. But Ian likes Marshall more, likes Marshall more than he should or more than he’s allowed and Cash has a sinking feeling that it’s the same on Marshall’s end too.
“I forgot about him,” Alex says with a little suck of breath. “William won’t allow him near anyone else.”
Cash sees it when he looks up, the hurt in Ian’s eyes. It’s not a secret that Ian and Marshall are friends, not a secret that they’re on the verge of being lovers. William doesn’t care much for punishing Ian, but he’ll take it out on Marshall any day. He keeps Marshall locked away somewhere deep in the castle, somewhere no one goes. It’s a way to punish both of them, sort of.
“It’s for the best,” Ian finally manages to say.
It’s weird, the easy gentleness and friendship that lies between them. Cash knows that they’ll get in trouble, knows that William loves Singer too much to punish him, that he and Ian will spend the next couple of days under William’s thumb, under William’s investigation. He should tell Singer to get lost but he doesn’t, can’t bring himself to do it.
“We’re going to get in trouble for this, aren’t we?” Alex asks and stretches out.
“Probably,” Cash says but closes his eyes because well, fuck it.
---
The space under the tree between the high wall becomes a place of sanctuary for Cash. When he isn’t leading the worse souls of the afterlife to Hell he hides out there, sometimes accompanied by Ian or Johnson and the rare, odd time, Singer.
“This is wrong,” Cash says suddenly one day and he isn’t exactly touching Singer, but Singer’s hair is brushing against his hand. Singer’s eyes were closed but they blink open, his green eyes filled with mischief and calculating humor that Cash knows will only get him trouble. It’s a wonder that William hasn’t caught them yet.
“This is Hell,” Singer says with reasoning. “Aren’t we made of wrongs?”
Cash reckons it’s a good enough reason to let his fear and regrets slip away. Cash didn’t worry much before Singer came along and now he finds himself doing it a lot, and he doesn’t just worry when they’re together. He worries that Audrey and Jac are tearing Singer to pieces, worries that William is tormenting Singer with hours and hours of chess or books or word puzzles, whatever William does when he forces the Sins to spend time with him.
“I’m kind of confused,” Singer says lightly and flips over, his head resting against Cash’s knee. “Why is it so - why does William not want us to be friends?”
“You sound like you’re five,” Cash comments.
“Whatever,” Singer says, taps his foot to an invisible rhythm. “It’s not like it’s hurting anyone.”
“It hurts William,” Cash says with certainness. “And thus it is wrong. Think in terms of William and everything becomes so much easier.”
“I would say something,” Singer says and looks up at Cash, his head tilted back at such a angle that his throat is exposed, lean and slim and actually tempting. Cash wonders if this is how Ian feels when he sees Marshall bend or move or just be. “But I’m too afraid of William overhearing us.”
“If William could hear us you’d be partying with Marshall right about now,” Cash remarks and slides further down the tree he was leaning against just to feel more of Singer’s body. Singer moves his head, tilts it slightly and now it’s in Cash’s lap, not awkward or weird or anything. It feels almost natural, seems normal to look down and see Singer’s expressive eyes staring up at him.
“I wonder how long he’ll keep Marshall down there,” Singer comments and licks his lips. Cash mimics the movement before he gets control of himself, before he mentally shakes himself and tells his body that he isn’t a teenager even though he was - Cash can’t remember how old he was when he died, but he know he was young and on the verge of something important, like a cure or something.
Cash doesn’t want to say it but he does. “Until Marshall learns his place.”
Singer’s face scrunches up in disgust and pain. “Why doesn’t he just kick Marshall out of the Sins?”
As much as Cash would like to believe that Singer’s gotten use to life here he realizes that Singer hasn’t. Singer might be smart in the book sense but he’s not smart in the evil Hell sense and he needs to shape up before his voice just becomes another one in the mass outside. “Without someone to hold it’s place the sin disappears. If Marshall wasn’t there then lust would disappear and people wouldn’t make children and people wouldn’t cheat and whatever they do under lust.”
“So we’re good and bad?”
“Mostly bad,” Cash says. “You have to remember to be bad. You have to remember to make sure that people eat themselves to death.”
Singer laughs, short and sharp. “So fat people go straight to Hell?”
Cash shrugs. “I’ve never seen a skinny angel.”
Singer’s laugh is freer now and his whole body shakes with it. He looks well, he looks nice like that, his eyes scrunched in happiness and his whole face just illuminating a sense of happiness and want, something that is rarely seen down here.
Cash leans down and kisses him.
“You just kissed me,” Singer says when Cash pulls back. “You kissed me.”
“I’m already in Hell,” Cash says. “To hell with caution.”
“William’s going to kill us,” Singer whispers, touches his lips with his fingers. He draws them back as if to check for blood and then looks up at Cash, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “At least we’ll suffer together.”
---
Cash tries to keep his cool when William calls him into his throne room the next day. Cash is shaking on the inside but on the outside he keeps his chin up and a smile on his face and agrees to whatever William says.
“I was thinking,” William says and plays with a ring on his finger. “Marshall has had enough of his room, hasn’t he?”
Marshall went into his room a week after Singer arrived. It’s been five months since anyone’s really seen Marshall and Cash wonders how he’s doing, if Marshall will be the same Marshall if William ever decides to let him out. “Whatever you deem fit seems appropriate to me,” Cash responds.
William’s eyes narrow. “I want your true opinion here, Cash.”
Cash can feel William’s eyes looking him up and down and he wonders, does he know? wonders if Marshall’s leave of his room will be replaced with Singer or even himself. He swallows and tries to look anywhere but William’s eyes. “I think he’s had enough.”
William’s smile is slow and odd, like he knows something Cash doesn’t. “I’m glad you agree,” he says, “because I’ve let him out.”
Cash lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. William continues to look him up and down, smile in that confusing way that makes Cash want to admit every mistake he’s ever made, admit hat he kissed a Sin yesterday and wants to beg for William’s forgiveness and oddly his punishment.
William says nothing, just dismisses Cash. When Cash makes it to the door William calls out for him. “Oh, and Cash?”
Cash turns and answers.
William is not looking at him but at the door. “I hope you’ll keep your friend in check this time,” he says. “I wouldn’t want to have to open the castle doors.”
A sense of dread and fear washes over Cash. He nods numbly before he leaves.
Later, Cash catches a glimpse of Marshall when he’s spying on Singer. Marshall’s lost weight, no longer has a friendly gleam in his eyes. The nice muscles he used to sprout are now gone and he looks like half of the person he once was. Audrey tries to greet him but Marshall just snaps at her, won’t let her touch him. The Sins usually hug and kiss and do all the things that lovers do but Marshall looks like he wants none of it.
Cash wonders sourly how Ian is taking all of this.
---
The next time Cash sees Singer it isn’t behind the high wall under the fruit tree.
It’s in a hopefully, deserted hallway and Cash pushes Singer up against the wall, traps his lips between his own and kisses Singer like Singer is candy or the remedy that could save his ill-fated life. Singer kisses back with just as much passion but he eventually works his lips away, works Cash’s body away.
“You’re fucking crazy,” he says.
“Have you seen Marshall?” Cash asks.
Singer’s eyes feel with pain and hurt. Cash knows there’s longing and hurt deep within Singer, even if Singer doesn’t know Marshall that well. It’s a thing the Advocates and Sins share, it’s a sense of family that can’t be erased. “That’s exactly why you’re fucking crazy,” Singer manages to say with forced anger.
Cash doesn’t know what to say but he doesn’t have to say anything because Singer is kissing him desperately, his hands on either side of Cash’s face and his leg hitched up against his hip. Arousal and want is a weird occurrence in them but Cash knows it when he feels it, feels the stirring in his stomach he hasn’t felt in centuries.
Singer pushes away again. “This is - this is fucked up.”
Cash bites his chin. Singer whines. “Not now,” he says. “Everyone can hear us.”
He doesn’t mean to, but Cash knows the hurt shines on his face. “Later,” Singer says with a kiss. “I’ll meet you later.”
Singer works his way from under Cash and hurries down the hall. Cash slumps forward, rests his head against the wall and breathes the best that he can.
---
Later is two weeks after the hallway incident, this time in a spare room in part of the castle that no one goes to. Cash hurts and cringes with just the thought that Marshall used to be here, that Marshall might have been locked in this very room for five months without any interaction. Cash doesn’t have much time to think about it because Singer’s body is warm underneath his, grips him like a vice.
“Fuck,” Cash says into the hallow of Singer’s neck.
“That’s the general idea,” Singer says but his sharpness and sarcasm becomes nothing when Cash moves. Singer shudders underneath him, grips Cash harder and Cash thinks that this is all he wants. Damnation be fucked, he’ll suffer just to feel Singer, just to have him.
---
Ian corners him one day, forces Cash into a deserted room and pins him against the wall. “Are you fucking stupid?”
Cash pretends innocence but Ian won’t let him go. “You can’t fuck a Sin,” Ian hisses. “You can’t -”
“Don’t scold me like you’re fucking innocent,” Cash hisses back. “What were you doing down there, anyway?”
The door opens, Cash’s breath hitches but relaxes when he sees Marshall. Marshall looks a little better, his eyes soften when he sees Ian but sharpen when they land on Cash. “What are you doing here?”
Cash can’t help but feel anger and hate towards his friend. “You would do that to him again?” Cash accuses, feels Ian shake against him. “You would risk getting caught and sending him to his own personal hell again?”
“It’s none of your business,” Ian says but slumps against Cash in defeat. “I can’t help it.”
Cash wraps his arms around Ian, feels the way Ian’s heart beats quickly and he breathes like these will be the last breaths he’ll ever take. He looks over Ian’s shoulder to look at Marshall who just moves towards them, slumps over Ian’s back and kisses Cash.
“At least we’re already in Hell,” Cash says.
---
Every time William summons him Cash feels the worse, feels like everything’s going to end.
William doesn’t say anything about Singer except for the odd remark about his singing voice and brilliance. He doesn’t mention Marshall or Ian either, which might be a warning sign or a saving grace.
Months go by and William says nothing.
---
William summons Ian and Cash into his throne room a year later. Cash tries to straighten his collar the best he can, but Singer’s pulled at it oddly and now it feels weird against his skin. William doesn’t mention it, not really, just fixes it for Cash and tells them that they’re going on a walk.
The walk consists of Ian and Cash talking to William about odd things that usually have nothing to do with them. Cash hesitates a few times when William brings up disobedience and discipline but other than that everything goes oddly fine.
Their walk stops outside the castle doors. William’s staring at them with wide awe and Ian moves a little closer to William, like he’s frightened. William turns away from the door and smiles at them both. “I love you two,” he says. “But is there anything you want to tell me? ”
“I love you too,” Ian says sincerely, or what Cash assumes to be sincerity.
Cash just replies, “Nope.”
He isn’t sure quite how it happens, but the door springs open and Cash finds himself on the other side with Ian. William’s looking at them both with an odd smile, one Cash thinks he’s seen before. “You two are very bad liars,” William says. “I know everything that goes on around here.”
William says nothing more as the doors close. Ian reaches out and grabs Cash’s hands. “He knew,” he says.
“Of course,” Cash replies and tries to rake his mind of all the possible punishments that William can throw at Singer and Marshall. He’ll never kick them out, he knows that, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t suffer their own personal hells.
Ian squeezes his hand tighter when the wail starts to climb towards them. Cash tries not to look behind him where he knows the souls are gathering to come and collect him.
---
William summons Singer and Marshall into his throne room. Like good little boys they kiss his cheek and ask him how he is. William, decidedly, is doing pretty well considering the way things have been lately although unbeknownst to his Sins they’ve been offering him fair entertainment.
“I’ve been well,” William says and pushes Singer’s curls behind his ears. Marshall flinches when William touches him, but that’s to be predicted. William thought Marshall would have been a good boy after their fun in his room, but Marshall is a soul that cannot be tamed and it’s taken William awhile to realize this and figure out a way to break it.
“I just wanted to thank you two,” he says. “You’ve been very entertaining this past year.”
They both look confused but William can see the fear under their eyes, knows exactly what they’re thinking. Their minds have never really been closed off to him before, even though Singer’s mind is sometimes hard to figure out. “That’s all I wanted you boys for.”
After they’ve left and William waits, he finally finds a great amount of glee when his two favorite Sins discover that their little lovers are nowhere to be found in the castle.
Marshall is finally broken like William wanted and Singer is on his way there.
Things, William decides, are only going to get better.
the sense of catching up with me
Cash/Singer
R 4836
this fic mentions: the seven deadly sins, the devil, and sex. there's a lot of curse words as well.
Cash stops examining his fingernails and tries to give Alex his most sincere, lovely smile. “Put it this way: you can either go to Hell and burn for the rest of eternity or you can assume the role of Gluttony and spend the rest of eternity in Hell, but in a lovely little castle.”
Alex purses his lips. “No matter what I’m going to Hell, aren’t I?"
“So, uhm, really?” The boy asks nervously.
Cash feels sorry for him, just a little. This has never happened before. “Yeah, really.”
“Well, this really sucks. You said the Devil?”
Cash nods and examines his fingernails. “Yep, although he hates that name. He much prefers William, or Bill if you manage to get on his good side.”
The boy, Alex, nods solemnly. For someone who just died he’s taking the predicament a lot better than most do. Then again, Alex isn’t destined for eternal damnation. “So, like, there’s no one else who can fill her shoes?”
“Not that I’m aware of, unless you can point me in the right direction?”
Alex seems to contemplate this for a moment before he goes, “I don’t know anyone else.”
Cash stops examining his fingernails and tries to give Alex his most sincere, lovely smile. “Put it this way: you can either go to Hell and burn for the rest of eternity or you can assume the role of Gluttony and spend the rest of eternity in Hell, but in a lovely little castle.”
Alex purses his lips. “No matter what I’m going to Hell, aren’t I?”
“Pretty much.”
“Fine, fine,” Alex says without hesitation. “I’ll become Gluttony… but does that mean I have to get fat?”
Cash sighs a breath of relief and wraps an arm around Alex’s shoulders. Alex is a lot smaller than Cash first realized; his little curls itch the bottom of Cash’s chin. “Nope, no excess amount of fat rolls necessary and I think everyone would appreciate you keeping your womanly figure. The last Gluttony was a fat bitch.”
“I don’t have a womanly figure,” Alex protests haughtily even as Cash opens a portal to the Underworld. Usually Cash wouldn’t open a portal right here and right now with all these people starting to appear. Sure, they’re completely invisible to the mortal eye but gravity and Earth and particles are always a little bit funky and might explode or whatever and expose them to the entire world.
It doesn’t happen, of course, but Cash always likes to think into the future, just in case.
---
William greets Alex the way he greets anyone else: he puts out his hand to shake and when Alex extends his own he grabs his wrist and examines his palm. After a minute of Alex looking like, like Hell itself William lets go.
“Gluttony,” he says happily. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“My name is Alex DeLeon,” Alex corrects.
William smiles and Cash can see the irritation behind it, the little tint in William’s eyes that says he doesn’t like to be corrected. “That’s your old name,” William says. “You’re new name is Gluttony.”
Alex turns to Cash accusingly. “You never said my name would change.”
William doesn’t like to be second place either. He draws Alex’s face back in his direction with a silky-smooth hand, gives Alex this look that means don’t you dare turn away from me again. Alex swallows. “You agreed to become Gluttony so you must inherit everything that is the Sin, including the name.”
Alex looks pale. William fails to mention that Alex could change his mind any time, join his brethren in eternal damnation. Cash doesn’t say anything either.
“Don’t worry,” William says gently. He leans down and kisses Alex’s forehead, smoothes his hair back from his face. “You’ll get a nickname soon enough.”
“A nickname?” Alex asks with a little spark of hope in his voice. William smiles and this time his smile isn’t tricky, but sincere. “Yes Gluttony, a nickname. I’ll pick the name, but I promise you it will be appropriate.”
Alex nods and looks completely reinsured, like he’s putting all his faith and trust into William. William pulls Alex closer to his body and kisses the top of his head before he indicates to Cash with a swift movement of his hand that his services will no longer be needed.
---
William calls Cash into the throne room the next day. William’s perched on his black throne like the prince he is while Alex sits a little ways off in a chair that’s too big for him.
Cash goes to William immediately, refuses to meet Alex’s eye when the Sin tries to catch his attention. Alex is new and naïve and a bit stupid, knows nothing about how this castle operates.
“Cash,” William says excitedly and today he seems better, seems like he’s up for some jokes.
“My lovely princess,” Cash jokes and his breath hitches when it takes too long for William’s smile to appear but it does, this smile warm and happy. Cash only remembers to breathe again when William’s hand moves over his throat.
“I have a special request of you,” William says. “One that might upset others in this castle.”
Cash feels sick and nervous all over. He’s a favorite of William’s which already makes him hated. “Anything you wish,” Cash finally says.
“I want you to be Gluttony’s companion for a few days. Show our newest Sin how this castle operates.”
Cash hesitates to answer. “Sire,” he says. “Wouldn’t it be appropriate for someone like Marshall or Audrey to show Gluttony around, seeing as he will share the same duties?”
William bristles and Cash knows he was stupid in questioning William’s assignment. He waits for the slap or the punch but it never comes. William’s eyes are little slits of disappointment and rage. “I asked you to do this for a reason, Cash.”
Cash tries to nod but William’s gaze keeps Cash still, makes every muscle in his body tense. “Audrey has too much of a temperament to be allowed anywhere near our youngest Sin,” William says. “And for Marshall? That boy is testing my patience.” The last part is said with such anger and disgust that Cash can see Alex shaking in his seat.
“I understand,” Cash says shakily.
William relaxes and leans forward in his seat to kiss Cash’s cheek. “I knew you would, that’s why I’m trusting you. Now show the boy where the kitchens are, and the courtyard and all the fun things there are to do around here.”
Cash knows that means to get lost so he indicates to Alex. Alex springs out of his chair, kisses William’s cheek as he walks by, and leaves trailing behind Cash. As soon as they’re away from the door, two halls down he asks, “is he always like that?”
“Always agree to what he wants you to do,” is all Cash can reply.
Cash spends the next hour showing Alex everything there is about the castle. He makes sure they stop at the main entrance, makes sure that Alex knows he is never to step out those doors if he values his afterlife and his mental health. Alex gives him this naïve, perplexed look and Cash feels a coil in the pit of his stomach, something equal to guilt and maybe savagery.
“What’s out there?” Alex asks with as much curiosity as a cat, or something equal to a three-year-old. Alex can’t hear it because his ears are new and sensitive and he hasn’t been dead that long but Cash can hear it, knows the sound by heart. Out there is a million different people being burned for every last thing they did, trying to save their souls, and Cash can hear their constant wails.
Alex isn’t stupid, that’s for sure. Under his cool green eyes is a calculating genius that William refuses to acknowledge. “Outside,” Cash says. “Are the people who suffer eternal damnation.”
Alex, for all his young curiosity and innocent looks doesn’t look surprised. He stares at the doors menacingly before he cocks his head and says, “They had to go somewhere, didn’t they?” Cash doesn’t respond. “This is Hell,” Alex continues. “What could I expect?”
Under Alex’s eyes is a hidden genius that could probably calculate a way for William to make it to the living world and beyond. It’s a gift that Cash hopes Alex keeps hidden, for all of them.
Later, when Cash drops Alex back off at William’s throne room, William pulls him aside. “Singer,” William says with a confused certainty, his eyes never leaving Cash’s. “He has such a wonderful voice that I’ve decided to nickname him Singer.”
Cash was hoping that it would take William a couple of days, maybe a week for him to decide on Alex’s nickname but Cash hides his disappointment under a smile and nod. “I like it,” he says, even though Cash’s opinion doesn’t matter against William’s. “It suits him.”
William nods absently before he turns his attention to Sing - Alex. Cash is already starting to forget Alex’s real name.
---
Cash is spending time with Ian months later. He hasn’t seen Alex since the day he showed him around, and that’s how it’s supposed to be. Cash and the other Advocates see the Sins maybe one or twice a year and that’s how things should be, should always be.
Ian is distracted by something and Cash doesn’t question what it is because he thinks he knows that answer but he doesn’t want to confirm it, doesn’t want to think that Ian is deliberately disobeying William’s commands. He doesn’t want to see another friend thrown out the castle doors to suffer. “Stop it,” Cash finds himself saying, even if he doesn’t want to.
“Stop what?” Ian asks with a cool smile. They’re hidden away in the courtyard, under a fruit tree. Cash doesn’t know what fruit grows on the tree but he knows they’re not real, will crumble in his hands if he tries to investigate.
Cash is on his back. “I’m not saying it,” he says, “but you know what I’m talking about.”
Ian frowns. “I can’t help it.”
Cash doesn’t reply. Ian’s supposed to know what he’s doing but Cash doubts that he actually does. He doesn’t say more because it isn’t his place. There’s a fine line between ignoring William’s rules and not knowing the rules and Ian has crossed that line, plenty of times.
It’s quiet for a moment until a ruckus from one of the set of doors sets the birds hiding in the trees off. Cash ignores the sound to stare at the birds, to look at their dark feathers and their beady eyes. They’re beautiful from far away but when they come close their ugly exterior is made apparent. It is only a reflection of the world they live in.
“Shit,” Ian says suddenly because Alex is wandering over to them, a very lost look in his eyes. It’s been three months since Cash as seen Alex and he looks no different, still curly hair and broad shoulders and vibrant green eyes except for this time Alex’s eyes are ringed in red. “Cash,” he says when he’s close enough. “Cash, what’s my name?”
“Gluttony,” Cash replies and keeps his voice low. Despite how hidden they think they are William is always watching and Cash has this eerie feeling that makes him feel sick, this feeling that Alex is watched more closely than any other Sin or Advocate or servant. “Your name is Gluttony or Singer.”
Alex rubs at his eyes furiously and Cash is happy, actually happy, to realize that the redness around Alex’s eyes is from constant rubbing, not tears. “No, no,” he says. “My real name. What’s my real name.”
Ian reaches out and actually touches Alex, pulls him gently down so Alex is hidden behind the high wall and tree with them. Cash doesn’t know how Alex found them back here and he hopes to never discover the answer. “I have a real name,” Alex says. “The one I was born with.”
Every person who enters the castle is given a nickname, a new name to be associated with. Cash can’t remember his real name, will probably never remember the name he was born with or went by before he died. Things are better that way, things don’t get so confusing when you can’t remember your previous life. Ian makes a noise in the back of his throat and strokes Alex’s hand.
Cash knows what Alex’s real name is, keeps chanting it in his mind but refuses to say the word, refuses to let Singer -Alex- have that relief. “It doesn’t matter,” Cash says instead. “You’re name is Singer now.”
“You know what it is,” Singer says accusingly and suddenly, Cash realizes that he can’t remember. He can’t remember what Singer’s real name is and there’s no hope in asking Ian. “It’s okay,” Ian says. “We can’t remember our real names.”
Singer lets out a frustrated noise and falls into the grass. His curls fan around his face and he looks odd like that, maybe at peace, maybe fighting an internal battle. “This sucks,” he finally says.
“Oh the whoas of a Sin,” Ian says and falls over next to him. Their curls mix together and Cash thinks they shouldn’t do that before he too succumbs and falls over. He’s a little off from the other two, but he still fits together against them, his knee curled against Ian’s. “The other Sins suck,” Alex says. “they’re bitches.”
“Not Marshall,” Ian says defensively and Cash holds his shudder in just at the name. He secretly likes Marshall, secretly likes it when he can hear Marshall play piano from the music room. But Ian likes Marshall more, likes Marshall more than he should or more than he’s allowed and Cash has a sinking feeling that it’s the same on Marshall’s end too.
“I forgot about him,” Alex says with a little suck of breath. “William won’t allow him near anyone else.”
Cash sees it when he looks up, the hurt in Ian’s eyes. It’s not a secret that Ian and Marshall are friends, not a secret that they’re on the verge of being lovers. William doesn’t care much for punishing Ian, but he’ll take it out on Marshall any day. He keeps Marshall locked away somewhere deep in the castle, somewhere no one goes. It’s a way to punish both of them, sort of.
“It’s for the best,” Ian finally manages to say.
It’s weird, the easy gentleness and friendship that lies between them. Cash knows that they’ll get in trouble, knows that William loves Singer too much to punish him, that he and Ian will spend the next couple of days under William’s thumb, under William’s investigation. He should tell Singer to get lost but he doesn’t, can’t bring himself to do it.
“We’re going to get in trouble for this, aren’t we?” Alex asks and stretches out.
“Probably,” Cash says but closes his eyes because well, fuck it.
---
The space under the tree between the high wall becomes a place of sanctuary for Cash. When he isn’t leading the worse souls of the afterlife to Hell he hides out there, sometimes accompanied by Ian or Johnson and the rare, odd time, Singer.
“This is wrong,” Cash says suddenly one day and he isn’t exactly touching Singer, but Singer’s hair is brushing against his hand. Singer’s eyes were closed but they blink open, his green eyes filled with mischief and calculating humor that Cash knows will only get him trouble. It’s a wonder that William hasn’t caught them yet.
“This is Hell,” Singer says with reasoning. “Aren’t we made of wrongs?”
Cash reckons it’s a good enough reason to let his fear and regrets slip away. Cash didn’t worry much before Singer came along and now he finds himself doing it a lot, and he doesn’t just worry when they’re together. He worries that Audrey and Jac are tearing Singer to pieces, worries that William is tormenting Singer with hours and hours of chess or books or word puzzles, whatever William does when he forces the Sins to spend time with him.
“I’m kind of confused,” Singer says lightly and flips over, his head resting against Cash’s knee. “Why is it so - why does William not want us to be friends?”
“You sound like you’re five,” Cash comments.
“Whatever,” Singer says, taps his foot to an invisible rhythm. “It’s not like it’s hurting anyone.”
“It hurts William,” Cash says with certainness. “And thus it is wrong. Think in terms of William and everything becomes so much easier.”
“I would say something,” Singer says and looks up at Cash, his head tilted back at such a angle that his throat is exposed, lean and slim and actually tempting. Cash wonders if this is how Ian feels when he sees Marshall bend or move or just be. “But I’m too afraid of William overhearing us.”
“If William could hear us you’d be partying with Marshall right about now,” Cash remarks and slides further down the tree he was leaning against just to feel more of Singer’s body. Singer moves his head, tilts it slightly and now it’s in Cash’s lap, not awkward or weird or anything. It feels almost natural, seems normal to look down and see Singer’s expressive eyes staring up at him.
“I wonder how long he’ll keep Marshall down there,” Singer comments and licks his lips. Cash mimics the movement before he gets control of himself, before he mentally shakes himself and tells his body that he isn’t a teenager even though he was - Cash can’t remember how old he was when he died, but he know he was young and on the verge of something important, like a cure or something.
Cash doesn’t want to say it but he does. “Until Marshall learns his place.”
Singer’s face scrunches up in disgust and pain. “Why doesn’t he just kick Marshall out of the Sins?”
As much as Cash would like to believe that Singer’s gotten use to life here he realizes that Singer hasn’t. Singer might be smart in the book sense but he’s not smart in the evil Hell sense and he needs to shape up before his voice just becomes another one in the mass outside. “Without someone to hold it’s place the sin disappears. If Marshall wasn’t there then lust would disappear and people wouldn’t make children and people wouldn’t cheat and whatever they do under lust.”
“So we’re good and bad?”
“Mostly bad,” Cash says. “You have to remember to be bad. You have to remember to make sure that people eat themselves to death.”
Singer laughs, short and sharp. “So fat people go straight to Hell?”
Cash shrugs. “I’ve never seen a skinny angel.”
Singer’s laugh is freer now and his whole body shakes with it. He looks well, he looks nice like that, his eyes scrunched in happiness and his whole face just illuminating a sense of happiness and want, something that is rarely seen down here.
Cash leans down and kisses him.
“You just kissed me,” Singer says when Cash pulls back. “You kissed me.”
“I’m already in Hell,” Cash says. “To hell with caution.”
“William’s going to kill us,” Singer whispers, touches his lips with his fingers. He draws them back as if to check for blood and then looks up at Cash, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “At least we’ll suffer together.”
---
Cash tries to keep his cool when William calls him into his throne room the next day. Cash is shaking on the inside but on the outside he keeps his chin up and a smile on his face and agrees to whatever William says.
“I was thinking,” William says and plays with a ring on his finger. “Marshall has had enough of his room, hasn’t he?”
Marshall went into his room a week after Singer arrived. It’s been five months since anyone’s really seen Marshall and Cash wonders how he’s doing, if Marshall will be the same Marshall if William ever decides to let him out. “Whatever you deem fit seems appropriate to me,” Cash responds.
William’s eyes narrow. “I want your true opinion here, Cash.”
Cash can feel William’s eyes looking him up and down and he wonders, does he know? wonders if Marshall’s leave of his room will be replaced with Singer or even himself. He swallows and tries to look anywhere but William’s eyes. “I think he’s had enough.”
William’s smile is slow and odd, like he knows something Cash doesn’t. “I’m glad you agree,” he says, “because I’ve let him out.”
Cash lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. William continues to look him up and down, smile in that confusing way that makes Cash want to admit every mistake he’s ever made, admit hat he kissed a Sin yesterday and wants to beg for William’s forgiveness and oddly his punishment.
William says nothing, just dismisses Cash. When Cash makes it to the door William calls out for him. “Oh, and Cash?”
Cash turns and answers.
William is not looking at him but at the door. “I hope you’ll keep your friend in check this time,” he says. “I wouldn’t want to have to open the castle doors.”
A sense of dread and fear washes over Cash. He nods numbly before he leaves.
Later, Cash catches a glimpse of Marshall when he’s spying on Singer. Marshall’s lost weight, no longer has a friendly gleam in his eyes. The nice muscles he used to sprout are now gone and he looks like half of the person he once was. Audrey tries to greet him but Marshall just snaps at her, won’t let her touch him. The Sins usually hug and kiss and do all the things that lovers do but Marshall looks like he wants none of it.
Cash wonders sourly how Ian is taking all of this.
---
The next time Cash sees Singer it isn’t behind the high wall under the fruit tree.
It’s in a hopefully, deserted hallway and Cash pushes Singer up against the wall, traps his lips between his own and kisses Singer like Singer is candy or the remedy that could save his ill-fated life. Singer kisses back with just as much passion but he eventually works his lips away, works Cash’s body away.
“You’re fucking crazy,” he says.
“Have you seen Marshall?” Cash asks.
Singer’s eyes feel with pain and hurt. Cash knows there’s longing and hurt deep within Singer, even if Singer doesn’t know Marshall that well. It’s a thing the Advocates and Sins share, it’s a sense of family that can’t be erased. “That’s exactly why you’re fucking crazy,” Singer manages to say with forced anger.
Cash doesn’t know what to say but he doesn’t have to say anything because Singer is kissing him desperately, his hands on either side of Cash’s face and his leg hitched up against his hip. Arousal and want is a weird occurrence in them but Cash knows it when he feels it, feels the stirring in his stomach he hasn’t felt in centuries.
Singer pushes away again. “This is - this is fucked up.”
Cash bites his chin. Singer whines. “Not now,” he says. “Everyone can hear us.”
He doesn’t mean to, but Cash knows the hurt shines on his face. “Later,” Singer says with a kiss. “I’ll meet you later.”
Singer works his way from under Cash and hurries down the hall. Cash slumps forward, rests his head against the wall and breathes the best that he can.
---
Later is two weeks after the hallway incident, this time in a spare room in part of the castle that no one goes to. Cash hurts and cringes with just the thought that Marshall used to be here, that Marshall might have been locked in this very room for five months without any interaction. Cash doesn’t have much time to think about it because Singer’s body is warm underneath his, grips him like a vice.
“Fuck,” Cash says into the hallow of Singer’s neck.
“That’s the general idea,” Singer says but his sharpness and sarcasm becomes nothing when Cash moves. Singer shudders underneath him, grips Cash harder and Cash thinks that this is all he wants. Damnation be fucked, he’ll suffer just to feel Singer, just to have him.
---
Ian corners him one day, forces Cash into a deserted room and pins him against the wall. “Are you fucking stupid?”
Cash pretends innocence but Ian won’t let him go. “You can’t fuck a Sin,” Ian hisses. “You can’t -”
“Don’t scold me like you’re fucking innocent,” Cash hisses back. “What were you doing down there, anyway?”
The door opens, Cash’s breath hitches but relaxes when he sees Marshall. Marshall looks a little better, his eyes soften when he sees Ian but sharpen when they land on Cash. “What are you doing here?”
Cash can’t help but feel anger and hate towards his friend. “You would do that to him again?” Cash accuses, feels Ian shake against him. “You would risk getting caught and sending him to his own personal hell again?”
“It’s none of your business,” Ian says but slumps against Cash in defeat. “I can’t help it.”
Cash wraps his arms around Ian, feels the way Ian’s heart beats quickly and he breathes like these will be the last breaths he’ll ever take. He looks over Ian’s shoulder to look at Marshall who just moves towards them, slumps over Ian’s back and kisses Cash.
“At least we’re already in Hell,” Cash says.
---
Every time William summons him Cash feels the worse, feels like everything’s going to end.
William doesn’t say anything about Singer except for the odd remark about his singing voice and brilliance. He doesn’t mention Marshall or Ian either, which might be a warning sign or a saving grace.
Months go by and William says nothing.
---
William summons Ian and Cash into his throne room a year later. Cash tries to straighten his collar the best he can, but Singer’s pulled at it oddly and now it feels weird against his skin. William doesn’t mention it, not really, just fixes it for Cash and tells them that they’re going on a walk.
The walk consists of Ian and Cash talking to William about odd things that usually have nothing to do with them. Cash hesitates a few times when William brings up disobedience and discipline but other than that everything goes oddly fine.
Their walk stops outside the castle doors. William’s staring at them with wide awe and Ian moves a little closer to William, like he’s frightened. William turns away from the door and smiles at them both. “I love you two,” he says. “But is there anything you want to tell me? ”
“I love you too,” Ian says sincerely, or what Cash assumes to be sincerity.
Cash just replies, “Nope.”
He isn’t sure quite how it happens, but the door springs open and Cash finds himself on the other side with Ian. William’s looking at them both with an odd smile, one Cash thinks he’s seen before. “You two are very bad liars,” William says. “I know everything that goes on around here.”
William says nothing more as the doors close. Ian reaches out and grabs Cash’s hands. “He knew,” he says.
“Of course,” Cash replies and tries to rake his mind of all the possible punishments that William can throw at Singer and Marshall. He’ll never kick them out, he knows that, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t suffer their own personal hells.
Ian squeezes his hand tighter when the wail starts to climb towards them. Cash tries not to look behind him where he knows the souls are gathering to come and collect him.
---
William summons Singer and Marshall into his throne room. Like good little boys they kiss his cheek and ask him how he is. William, decidedly, is doing pretty well considering the way things have been lately although unbeknownst to his Sins they’ve been offering him fair entertainment.
“I’ve been well,” William says and pushes Singer’s curls behind his ears. Marshall flinches when William touches him, but that’s to be predicted. William thought Marshall would have been a good boy after their fun in his room, but Marshall is a soul that cannot be tamed and it’s taken William awhile to realize this and figure out a way to break it.
“I just wanted to thank you two,” he says. “You’ve been very entertaining this past year.”
They both look confused but William can see the fear under their eyes, knows exactly what they’re thinking. Their minds have never really been closed off to him before, even though Singer’s mind is sometimes hard to figure out. “That’s all I wanted you boys for.”
After they’ve left and William waits, he finally finds a great amount of glee when his two favorite Sins discover that their little lovers are nowhere to be found in the castle.
Marshall is finally broken like William wanted and Singer is on his way there.
Things, William decides, are only going to get better.