"Hollaback Girl" (JWP 2015 Prompt #23, Elementary, Rated PG)

[gardnerhill]

Title: Hollaback Girl
Author: gardnerhill
Universe: Elementary
Word Count: 450
Warning: Racist language. Profanity. Icky girl stuff.
Rating: PG (language, display of racism and misogyny)
Summary:  Always take advantage of male squeamishness.
Author's Notes: For the 2015 July Watson's Woes Promptfest prompt #23, Improvised Tools. For a truly

Comments

[capt_facepalm]

Ha! And that was with a pristine one... just think of what would have happened if she had given him the full vampiric-teabag treatment.

(I may have crossed some line with this comment...)

[gardnerhill]

No you didn't cross a line - I very nearly had Joan lob a USED tampon at this guy.

But it wasn't needed. Even a clean unused tampon is scary to misogynist men - they loathe anything to do with actual female biological processes. (Look at the male Republican legislators in one state who suspended a female Democrat colleague for saying "vagina" while THEY were campaigning to outlaw abortion.)

[pompey01]

Nope -- the only lines that were crossed were crossed by Mr. Wonderful.

I'm only slightly disappointed it was a pristine, wrapped tampon but the guy's reaction was soul-satisfying.

[dreamflower02]

Oh, that's hilarious!

It's my theory that men like that have their minds permanently stuck in that immature cusp between pre- teen "girls are icky" and early adolescence "girls make me horny but I don't know what to say to them." Add to that the fact that these particular specimens have usually never had a clue about civilized human interaction, and they end up being really repulsive.

[gardnerhill]

And unfortunately they have the manners of teen boys, but the bodies of hulking twice-as-strong-as-you twice-as-big-as-you men, and they're dangerous as well as revolting.

Then there's that weird inversely proportional thing that the more physically repulsive a guy is, the more he thinks that he deserves a supermodel.

[kitmerlot1213]

Go Joan, she handled that jerk wonderfully :):)

She’d certainly cured him of the misogynistic habit of using said cycle as an explanation for her moods or emotional state. God help me, but sometimes I do have a tendency to get angrier when it's that time of the month and someone does something to tick me off--YIKES!

[gardnerhill]

Oddly enough, that twitchy time of the month is when women's hormonal state is closest to men's (Least amount of estrogen/greatest amount of testosterone) - so men have been joking about how awful women are during the time when women are more like THEM than any other time.

And it could have been worse - I originally was going to have Joan toss a USED tampon in this guy's face.

[gardnerhill]

Definitely inversely proportional - the uglier and less-washed a man is, the more he thinks women owe him their attention. And they're the ones most repulsed by women's actual biology - so even a clean tampon is an abomination to them, like garlic to vampires.