the dark side

[gardengirl1]

everyone has a dark side to them. sometimes it's predictable when it surfaces, other times you don't see it coming. ever wonder why it's there, sometimes ever-present and other times lurking way below the surface? ever think about what triggers it to rear its ugly head

Comments

[ktylove]

Sometimes we seem to be in sync from afar. I had a very dark weekend and it's so distressing, isn't it? When it passes, it just seems so incredible to me how different we can feel in the space of a day or two. I've thought about the hormone thing too.

As you said, when you're in that dark place, it seems like there's no escape. Sounds like you found a window to the light, at least, by talking to a friend. For me, a sunny warm day made a huge difference. And meditating again, as it helps me get out of my head and remember that it IS negative chatter only in my head, and it's not real.

Hope you're continuing to feel better. I know I am.

[gardengirl1]

yes, it's absolutely distressing. it makes you (or perhaps i should speak for myself, heheh) start thinking about how dark is too dark? how long is still within the "normal" range? is it always going to be like this from now on? why do i feel this way? blah, blah, blah

[ktylove]

I have many of the same concerns as you do re: "what's normal", and, probably unlike yourself my reference point is more personal: have I voluntarily caused this by my own behavior?

It will plague me for all my life, I'm sure, the path I've chosen and continue to choose. But maybe it's not all that different from anyone, wondering if we've done something that exacerbates our problem, whatever it is. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part....

Anyway...we are also getting older and stuff just happens to almost everyone. Stuff that later causes us to be like our grandparents, going on about this or that's ailing us...

In your case this time, it does sound like a confluence of a few things all at once, boredom being a major one, that perhaps combined with some spontaneous hormonal surge, made it all worse. Let us know how it's going, and never worry that your down moments depress your readers. Some of us find it comforting not to be the only one.