Ugh, no dance...

[gansje]

Blah. Sick instead. But I will dance all over the living room again one day, dammit! I couldn't swing any alone-time yesterday, as I had a lot of work during the day, and I had the kids all evening while L was at his jewelry making class (I'm excited about this, as he has artistic talent he's never really explored before, and it's a really nice

Comments

[msmidge]

Re: tomorrow's engagements: If I were sick, but not 100% sick enough to claim it as an excuse to stay home all day (although for public health reasons I think it's probably nice to do so anyway), I would totally go to the thing I wanted to attend and then skip the one I didn't want (maybe sending the kid who does want to go, on his own) in the name of not over-exerting myself.

Sam just got into Beast Quest books. Has Henry tried those?

[gansje]

No! I'll look them up! We're so excited he's reading voluntarily. He hadn't showed Jo's enthusiasm for stories until recently, and neither of them would sit quietly and read for so long. Yay books! More importantly, yay quiet children!

ETA: I don't think I should go to shul tomorrow just on basic public health principles alone. I am definitely a hot mess.

[alsoname]

I think "We are really happy with our current situation and just love Rabbi So-and-So. Did you know he's the one who married us? Segue into fun memories of our wedding!" is a totally acceptable excuse for not falling for her guilt trip. It's also totally acceptable for you to go off in a corner somewhere with some other parent who isn't thrilled with VEP either and have a conversation that is totally separate from the guilt-trip gathering. I would also imagine that it's acceptable to send Adam off by himself, and let him walk back home when he's done hanging out with his old chums

[gansje]

He's heard back from his two safety schools (Pitt and Penn State, both yesses) but didn't apply anywhere early decision, because that locks you into a school, and Responsible Kid is Responsible and doesn't want to get locked into a school that doesn't offer him a great financial package when we might need him to go to a less expensive alternative. He knows the score.

So we won't hear back from anywhere else until March. We're on pins and needles! His first choice is your alma mater -- Berkeley! Followed by University of Texas at Austin and then by University of Michigan. Next, University of Wisconsin at Madison, and then Case Western. Pitt next, and then Penn State last.

How did I not know you're Jewish?

Also, I am just terrible at deflecting guilt trips. Just plain bad. I must have a birth defect.

Finally, even if I send Adam alone, I still have to send him with a dessert. Which I don't have. Oops.

[alsoname]

Berkeley! It's a great school. Pretty much every department is one of the best in the world. Except I did hear some complaints about the film department, so there's that. :P

And you can't be blamed for not knowing I'm (part) Jewish, as I have the least Jewish surname of them all. I mean, we did celebrate some Jewish holidays when my grandmother was in town, sometimes, but mostly my upbringing was agnostic. And my mom's stepdad was from a Unitarian family, so even my mom doesn't feel like she got the full education. (She was sent to Hebrew school through the sixth grade, which she says was customary at the time for daughters. Sexist '50s!)

As for desserts, can't you get something from a nice bakery?

[gansje]

You know, I totally blanked on your surname last night and now that I think of it, yes, you DO have the least Jewish surname of them all! Well, except for my sister, who married a man whose last name is Christ. First initial, J. Every so often he jokes about changing it to Jesus.

Re. dessert, we aren't supposed to spend money on Shabbat. I'm not as strictly observant as L, so I suppose in a pinch I could, but as I also asked not to bring a hot dish because we also shouldn't cook on Shabbat, I'd feel very hypocritical.

[gfrancie]

Stay home. Get some dancing done. It's a good way to sweat out all the germs. Better than putting up with VEF. Yech, what an awful human.

I don't know the Jewish religion well, but it seems like to me that it makes one a pretty shitty Jewish person, if you don't recognize that a single parent needs more support in vast social situations and not less. (like offering to bake something for social occasions so they don't feel wiped out, and do things to lighten their load. But maybe VEF is more about the appearance of her "look at me I am a good neighbour" bullshit, than the reality.)

Minecraft... fucking heroin for children.

[gansje]

VEF is sort of 70% "look at me I am a good neighbour" type, and 30% "Oh crap, I am totally awkward in social situations, and I know I did something wrong to you because you appear to be avoiding me, but I don't know what it is, I am SO SORRY," which is why I keep being her friend. I always feel incredibly pissy AND incredibly sympathetic towards her.

[drinkingcocoa]

I want to kick VEF. You are free to make it clear that you and your family are happy to accept invitations to bond around friendship and you have clear boundaries about your own choices regarding asks for money and worship and where you put your energies. :-P Or, you know, to be sick and not go. Or, you know, to be well and not go. :-P'''''''''''''''''

HA HA HA you could also use the opportunity to ask HER for help regarding funding or resources for things that are way more tedious and less glamorous than whatever she's got going on. You could overwhelm her with it. HA. Just kidding.

Re:

[msmidge]

I read a lot of Miss Manners whenever I'm sick, and one of the biggest categories of questions she gets is "do I have to give money to friends who want me to give it?" The answer is always no!!!

[gansje]

Miss Manners is (and you are) excellent. Hey, I've been meaning to tell you, I'll be staying over in Burbank after presenting for work in Thousand Oaks next Saturday night! Are you anywhere near Burbank? I'll be with my friend and coworker Pamela, whom I think you would like (and I think she would like you too. :)

[msmidge]

YES!!! Burbank is super easy. Our old house was practically next door to it; now I'm about 25 minutes away. Thousand Oaks is on the other side of me. I'm in Reseda.