Bricks in the Wall, Chapter 46: Admiration

[game_byrd]

Title: Admiration
Characters: Sylar, Peter Petrelli
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Word count: 100
Setting: The Wall
Summary: Sylar realizes Peter has him beat in the 'be different from your parents' category

Comments

[means2bhuman]

I liked this. It was so simple, it made me think. Same goes for the unfinished ending of sorts - it's literally a little 'moment in time.' So is that show, don't tell going on? Either way, it's interesting.

Like, Sylar has to think about it: Peter broke the mold where I didn't. Huh. I wonder what that says about Peter/me. But you, the author, don't really tell us that in so many words. I think it made Sylar reconsider the event of becoming a watchmaker as more of a choice or preference, calling perhaps, which I found kind of mind blowing for possibilities. I like the implied respect (at least, that's how my Sylar saw it) that Sylar gives Peter for daring to break that mold. We get both stories but neither character has the primary POV, or there's no POV going on at all. Such a talented narrative, I still have yet to learn that!

Sorry for the lateness!

[game_byrd]

Oh my goodness! That's a lovely comment.

This little bit of writing was just the characters talking in my head about their backgrounds. When Peter said, 'My father was a lawyer; didn't make me one', I realized Sylar wasn't going to hear that the way Peter meant it. Peter meant, 'My father being a lawyer didn't mean that I became one', whereas Sylar heard, 'Your father was a lawyer, but he couldn't make you into one.'

This wasn't so much the 'show don't tell' stuff, but it has helped me to get away from saying how the characters feel and showing it instead (Peter snorting, for example - I don't need to follow it with 'with disdain' because if I say he snorted, then the reader should get the emotion).