Credence: Chapter 11: "Back Where We Belong" Part 2
Credence
Credence Chapter 11: "Back Where We Belong"
Rating: XXX
Disclaimer: I don’t own Brian or Justin or anything from Queer as Folk that I didn’t buy for my own personal viewing pleasure. I sadly don’t make money off Queer as Folk.
Summary: The path of sound credence is through the thick forest of skepticism. ~George Jean Nathan (More in previous parts or lj makes me cut this)
A Big thanks to my beta adoringaudience, she makes my fiction so much better for all of your eyes and she makes the story shine. Thank you so much!
Previous Chapters: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 a Chapter 4 b Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Part 1 Chapter 8 Part 2 Chapter 9 Part 1 Chapter 9 Part 2 Chapter 10 Chapter 11-pt-1
***
Brian shoved a spoonful of Cheerios into his mouth and turned the cereal box so he could view the back. There were new games on it, these ones with a winter theme. Justin often complained about having to do the same games over and over because the back of the cereal boxes rarely changed; he’d like this one. It didn’t matter that the word search was simple, the ‘one of these is not like the other’ pictures had only one difference to find or that the word scramble could be completed by a five year old, Justin loved the games on the back of cereal boxes, but proclaimed that the Cheerios box had the best ones and he’d do them repeatedly. Brian thought about how Justin’s face had lit up like it was Christmas morning the last time the back changed. This time, it really was Christmas morning on the back of the box and he imagined how stupidly excited Justin would be to do the games. Since he woke up he’d been continuously trying to distract himself from thinking about Justin, because even though he decided that he wanted the same things as Justin did, he had no idea how to go about to getting him back.
His cell phone began to ring, providing a much needed divergence from his dismal line of thinking. Brian considered not answering it when he saw the caller ID, but at this point he gladly accepted any distraction. “Mikey,” he drawled, answering the phone.
“Thank you for the hospitality,” Michael’s voice shouted over the line. “I had to take care of some urgent business and couldn’t stay!”
Brian grunted, “You found the note.”
“Yeah, it’s a good fucking thing too. No one else saw it and I didn’t give it to Justin. I threw it away.”
“Why the fuck did you do that?” Brian asked.
“Because you sounded like an asshole. This has to stop.”
“I don’t generally pass gas out of my mouth so I don’t know what makes you think I could sound like an asshole.”
“Don’t be gross and obtuse. He doesn’t realize you didn’t leave early when everyone else did because he didn’t wake up until after they left. But I stayed to do clean up and…”
“What’s your fucking problem?” Brian interrupted. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing. Would you have preferred that I left without saying anything at all? Fuck, now he’s going to think…”
“He thinks you don’t want him,” Michael cut in. “He thinks… Brian, Justin thinks you don’t love him.”
Brian hoped that wasn’t true because he’d have to work even harder to get Justin back if Justin had lost all belief in him. “He thinks or he…”
“Stop interrupting and listen to me,” Michael demanded. “Are you listening?”
“Yeah, I’m fucking listening,” Brian growled, holding the phone away from his ear. It may be the afternoon but he’d only woken up an hour ago and it was too early to be shouted at. Fuck, he hated being shouted at any time of the fucking day!
“Justin wants you. He’s in love with you and you two aren’t going to make it as friends… at least not only friends, because you’re in love with him too. Whatever disagreement you two had, whatever it is that you allowed him to believe so that he wouldn’t fucking see how hurt you were or how terrified you are of admitting that he’s the one for you, now and in the future… whatever the fuck that was, you need to fix it. Immediately.”
“I do, huh?” Brian had figured that out last night, he certainly didn’t need Michael to tell him that. However… “How do you suggest I do this miraculous thing?”
“Talk to him.”
“That doesn’t generally work in my favor,” Brian said. “Do you have any clue as to how wrong everything went the last time you told me to talk to him?”
“Something went wrong, I get that, but this time you’re going to make sure it doesn’t. All you have to do is be honest with him. Telling him how you feel won’t make you sound like a lesbian or a hetero. It will make you sound like a human being in love. This may be your only chance at…”
“Fine.”
“Fine?” Michael shrieked in shock.
“Fine.” Brian realized there really was no other option than to just talk to Justin and be completely honest about how he felt. Michael was right about that. “I’m going to talk to him and tell him how I…”
“How you feel?” Michael prompted. “You’re not going to chicken out. You’re going to do it because you want to be happy and you want him to be happy too, don’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“Then you need to go see him now, don’t wait to call him because you may lose your chance to be with him if you wait any longer.”
Brian had an eerie feeling settle over him. “Why? Has he met someone and no one told me? Is he going on a date tonight or something?”
“No, he hasn’t met anyone but he’s about to be open to doing so.”
Brian wasn’t exactly surprised after the way they’d left things last night. “You don’t happen to know where he is now, do you?”
“He said he was planning to goto Weisshouse and he’s going to buy the master bedroom furniture.”
“I thought he already…”
“I went to wake him up, knocked on the door and when he didn’t answer, I opened it. The master bedroom doesn’t have a single piece of furniture in it. It’s completely bare. Up until last night, he slept in one of the guest rooms he says is downstairs. It wasn’t on the tour but I’d guess it’s the one he let you stay in… if you stayed at all.”
“I stayed for a while,” Brian said. He realized why exactly it was that Justin’s scent had been on the sheets, it hadn’t been his imagination. “Where did he sleep last night if all the guest rooms were taken. His studio?”
“No,” Michael said. “I think you should ask him that yourself. So get up, get dressed and get to Weisshouse and tell him that you want to pick out the furniture for your master bedroom together.”
“He’s headed there now?” Brian asked.
“I’m actually driving behind him on the highway now,” Michael said. “He should be there in about twenty minutes. Are you getting up?”
“I’m already out of bed!”
“Good! Because my wedding is in a couple of weeks and I want the both of you there together and happy. Got me?”
“So this is just so we don’t fuck with your seating arrangements?” Brian asked.
“Fuck off and go already! And oh yeah, when you talk to Justin, make sure he knows that when Emmett was trying to tell him about seeing you in the backroom, that it was because he saw you walk away from the trick.”
“What the fuck? Justin knows about that?”
“Emmett was trying to help,” Michael explained, “but Justin cut him off and didn’t want to hear about it because he thought you’d started tricking again and he was too hurt to hear the details. Everyone but him knows you haven’t and if that isn’t proof that you still want to be with him…”
“I got it, Michael,” Brian said and snapped the phone closed.
Brian didn’t have to think much about what he would wear. He was showered and dressed in twenty minutes and as he grabbed his cell and keys from the counter his eyes fell on the box of Cheerios and he took that with him too. It wasn’t flowers but he was sure that they’d mean the same to Justin.
***
“This bed comes in both the dark wood walnut finish but also in the white oak, which can have either the white oil or the Danish oil and we do have a California King in stock of both woods.”
Justin closed his eyes for a moment and willed himself not to freak out. He faced Marisa, the attendant and told her, “I said I didn’t want a platform bed.”
“I know you did,” Marisa said, clearly out of tune with Justin’s emotional reaction to the bed she led him to. “But sometimes what someone thinks they don’t want can fit them better than…”
“I think I’d be better off looking by myself,” Justin interrupted, his temper getting the best of him. “I’ll let you know if I find something.” He briskly turned on his heels and walked in the other direction, far away from any bed that looked similar to the one in Brian’s loft.
He smiled when he saw something he didn’t expect to find in a store that sold mostly modern pieces of furniture. It was definitely not what he wanted, but he couldn’t help but investigate it further. The antique painted Chinese sleeping room had such a magical feel about it. The price was almost nine thousand dollars, but as far as he was concerned it was a steal. But he could never actually sleep in it and he knew it didn’t fit the style of his Tudor home and was nowhere near a reflection of his own personal style. Still, it was interesting and would be a definite conversation starter. He walked inside, sat down and instantly was amazed by the paintings on the inside which were far more romantic in nature than the ones on the outside panels.
“If you ever plan on sharing a bed with me, it won’t be this one.”
Justin’s heart stopped, then suddenly accelerated and he felt like it had lodged itself into his throat a moment later. He drew his eyes away from the paintings toward the familiar voice and saw Brian, bent down, looking inside the tiny room, his neutral expression doing nothing to hide the apprehension Justin could see in his eyes. He gulped and his heart, still speeding, plunged back in his chest. “What are you doing here?”
“Preventing you from buying a bedroom set that would be detrimental to you getting fucked into the mattress every night.” Brian entered the room and sat down beside Justin, faced him and explained, “Michael told me you were buying furniture for the master bedroom and so I thought I’d come help you pick it out, like we planned.”
“Did I fall and hit my head or something?” Justin asked seriously. He really couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t hallucinating. Brian looked real, sitting there beside him in what he had told him was his favorite flower printed black shirt, dark blue jeans snug, and on top of the shirt he wore the jacket with fur around the collar. This was what Brian wore whenever Justin would conjure up a jerk off fantasy that would lead to a slow rising orgasm as he imagined himself peeling away each layer of clothing.
“Did you?” Brian asked.
“No. So… am I dreaming then?”
Brian laughed and pinched Justin’s arm through his black leather jacket. “Did you feel that?”
Justin nodded but he was still worried that he’d somehow forgotten a large span of time because Brian was behaving as if they’d already had some monumental conversation and were here together as planned. “Yeah, I felt it.” Brian smelled real too and it was such a delicious scent it was leaving him feeling heady with arousal. “What’s going on?”
“I gave it some thought…” Brian said. “I know you have too. We need to,” he sucked in a deep breath and pushed it out, “talk.”
“Here?” Justin asked, trying to shake off the shock he felt from Brian showing up unexpectedly.
“Seems as good a place as any,” Brian said. “This Dojo or whatever the fuck it is wouldn’t be bad for your garden.”
“I haven’t planted a garden,” Justin said, “its winter. Now… don’t change the subject on me. You said you wanted to talk, so talk… I’m listening.”
“Okay.” It was hard for Brian to believe that he was actually going to do this. He’d thought about what he was going to say on the drive over. He’d even arranged it in his head like he would to sell a pitch to a client… which he knew might work, but it could also leave room for interpretation and he didn’t want that. He wanted to be Justin’s man and if that meant he’d have to occasionally have uncomfortably exposing conversations then he would resolve to do it. He wanted to simplify things as much as much possible. “There’s something you need to know.”
Justin waited almost a full minute for Brian to say more and when he didn’t, he prompted him, “What?”
“You didn’t let Emmett tell you everything he saw when he spied on me in the backroom.”
“We aren’t together, Brian. Friends don’t share all the details of their sex lives, do they?”
“I haven’t been with anyone but you.”
“You’re serious?” Justin asked, stunned.
“Yeah,” Brian spoke in a soft tone, “I… I just couldn’t…” Brian reached up to place his hands on Justin’s biceps but thought better of it and dropped his hands into his lap.“Do you understand?”
Tears of relief and joy clouded Justin’s vision and he nodded his head emphatically. “Yes.”
“Last night when you said I hadn’t lied to you, that wasn’t true. When we talked that day at the hospital, I lied to you. I do want you and I want the same fucking future that you want, give or take a few things we’ll have to compromise on.”
Brian looked so vulnerable and if it weren’t for them being in the middle of a furniture store, Justin would’ve probably broken down crying with happiness.
“Say something,” Brian requested, his voice cracking.
“You say that you want the same future as me, but what compromises are you talking about? Because marriage is something I’m not going to compromise on. I told you that when we first started dating and…”
“I want that,” Brian interrupted, “one day… I want that with you.”
“But it’s still hypothetical, isn’t it? How do I know that when something big happens in our lives you aren’t going to get overwhelmed and run from us again?”
“It isn’t hypothetical,” Brian admitted. “I’ve thought about marrying you and the thought is as real as it can be without actually being married to you.”
Justin wanted what Brian was saying to be true, but now he was worried that Brian was running toward marriage just because it was the only way to be with him. He may have made peace with the idea of marriage, but how would he react when it actually, really came to that? “How do I know that you’re not only saying this because it’s an idea that I forced on you? You should do what makes you happy, Brian.”
“I am. When I said we’d have to compromise on things, I did mean the hypothetical ‘little things’, but I didn’t mean marriage. No one forces me to do anything. I changed my mind. It’s as simple as that.”
“No,” Justin said, “it isn’t simple. You need to tell me why you changed your mind, Brian.”
“Last night, after I went home I did a lot of thinking and I realized that my views on marriage have been changing ever since I met you. But there were still all these bad things I thought about it. But then, all on my own, I started thinking about how with you… none of it would be bad. I believe in marriage if the person I’m going to have as my spouse is you, because I believe in us. We wouldn’t have a marriage like Michael and Ben or Lindsay and Melanie. It’d be different, but it’d be right for us.”
Justin took a long deep breath as he processed Brian’s reply. Looking into his eyes, Justin could see how serious Brian was, how much he believed in what he was saying. It was overwhelming.“I… I don’t know what to say.”
“You?” Brian asked, feeling slightly relieved when he saw Justin’s happy expression.
“I do know… what to say.”
“What’s that?” Brian whispered.
Justin shifted so that their faces were inches apart, put his hands on Brian’s shoulders, pulled him in close and right before their lips met, he whispered, “I love you.”
***
Justin sat on the arm of the sofa beside Brian, idly running his fingers through Brian’s hair. Brian’s was resting his head on his leg, eyes open and fixed on Justin’s face as he talked about some mathematic theory that only Ted and Melanie could follow. Justin liked to watch boring internet videos about that kind of stuff and afterwards geeked out about it to Brian, who didn’t understand half of what Justin was saying but liked to watch him anyway. And now Justin had the perfect audience.
“Look at them,” Debbie whispered and pointed into the living room.
Blake, Lindsay and Michael were in various areas of the kitchen helping to clean up so they could get to the much anticipated poker game. The three of them all stopped what they were doing and walked closer to Debbie to look at who she was talking about.
“They’re in love,” Blake observed and his eyes met Ted’s for a moment and he smiled at him once before looking back at the couple under their scrutiny.
Lindsay sighed, “I never thought I’d see Brian Kinney in love.”
“You ain’t the only one, kid,” Debbie said in a quiet voice. “I hoped, but as the years went on and he just seemed to bury himself deeper and deeper into his stud image… I started to lose hope.”
“I used to think that if it were going to be anyone, it would be me,” Michael admitted. “When I met Ben… when I realized he was the one, I felt guilty because I knew that I wouldn’t be the one for Brian if he ever did really believe we’d live together as two old queens one day.”
“He probably did believe that,” Blake said, “whether or not Ben was around.”
“Maybe,” Lindsay agreed, “but I think there’s only one queen he’s going to be sipping margaritas with when he’s old and gray.” Lindsay gave her friends a giddy smile. “Have you ever seen him look at anyone like that?”
“Definitely not,” Michael said.
“Justin has his complete attention,” Blake whispered.
“And he’s talking about something I’m not even going to pretend I understand,” Debbie added.
“Something about math,” Michael said. “Brian’s worst and most hated subject in school and yet, he looks completely enthralled by it.”
“Then we should go find out what’s so interesting about it,” Lindsay said, rubbing her hands together.
“So, Brian, what’s so interesting about this new theory?” Blake asked, walking into the living room and sitting beside Ted.
Brian’s head popped up from Justin’s leg and asked, “What makes you think I’m even remotely interested in what these geeks are talking about?”
“Excuse us for being up to date with current events,” Melanie griped.
Blake grinned evilly, Brian really was asking for it. He looked over at Michael, Debbie and Lindsay who had joined them in the room. “What do you guys think? Brian seemed really fascinated with what Justin was talking about, didn’t he?”
“Yeah, I think Justin gave you a new appreciation for mathematics, hasn’t he, Brian?”
“Shut the fuck up,” Brian groused and rose to a sitting position.
Debbie said, “You were looking at Justin like...”
“Like he wants to take me home?” Justin tried to help.
Debbie laughed. “Kid, don’t tell me you’ve invented a new a kink. Shit, Brian, now you really have done it all, haven’t you?”
“What kink?” Brian demanded. “I was just fucking relaxing here about to…”
“E equals MC squared!” Lindsay panted, pretending like she was having an orgasm.
Everyone laughed and Ben couldn’t help but join in on the teasing. “Or is it the multiplication facts that turn you on?”
“Or addition,” Emmett said. “50,” he huffed and puffed, “plus nineteen equals…”
“Sixty nine!” Everyone except Justin and Brian yelled together in fake orgasmic bliss.
“Oh god,” Justin groaned and covered his blushing face.
“Christ, you’re lucky Gus is asleep upstairs,” Brian said. “And you think I’m a bad influence on him.”
Debbie ruffled Brian and Justin’s hair as she passed by them to sit next to Carl. “You boys were just being so sweet.”
Brian cringed. “I’m not sweet.”
Justin put his hand on the back of Brian’s neck and pulled their mouths together, passionately kissing him and then pulling back. “Actually, you taste sweet.”
“It was all that chocolate cake you fed him,” Michael said.
“Just one more bite, Brian,” Ted teased. “You can do it, honey bear.”
“Oh my god!” Brian yelled and stood up. He grabbed Justin’s hand. “Let’s go, we’re leaving.”
“Oh come on,” Melanie said, “we’re just teasing you.”
“We’re just so happy to see you two doing so well,” Lindsay said, trying to lighten the mood.
“I kept telling Deb you two would come to your senses eventually,” Carl added.
“Come to our senses?” Justin asked. “It wasn’t me who was spending all my time having family dinners with each one of you.”
Brian couldn’t believe that Justin dared to bring that up and felt heat rising in cheeks. To stop Justin from saying anything else that would embarrass him he dropped back onto the couch, pulled Justin onto his lap and fused their mouths together.
“Oh, get a room!” Debbie said.
“Or not,” Emmett said.
Brian turned to look at his friends and gave them a devilish smirk and shifted Justin to the sofa cushion beside him. “I think you’ve all seen enough.”
Justin was breathing heavily and feeling a little dazed from the oxygen deprivation. “So… are we going to play cards or what?” he asked, wanting desperately to no longer be the center of attention.
“How about we play that game Michael was telling me you guys played?” Debbie asked, walking over to the drawer where the deck of cards was stashed.
“No way,” Lindsay said. “I hear Brian and Justin have some sort of telekinesis and won like every single hand.”
“You’re just jealous you don’t know Melanie as well as I know Justin,” Brian said.
“Is that a challenge?” Melanie asked.
“Damn right it is,” Brian said. “In fact, to make it easier on for you, me and Justin won’t even previously discuss anything.”
“But you already know what your ‘tells’ will be,” Michael said.
“And so do you,” Justin said.
“No,” Ted said, “all of us don’t, because we all didn’t play with you.”
“Actually, even those of us who played don’t know them,” Ben admitted.
“Aww… come on, I doubt they’re that good,” Carl said. “I love that game, used to play it all the time with the guys on the force. Now that’s a game to play with men whose job it is to discern between truths and lies.”
“Kemps it is,” Debbie declared.
“You really have no idea what you’re in for, Ma,” Michael warned.
Justin kissed Brian’s cheek and whispered, “Same as before?”
“Uh-huh,” Brian agreed. “This time we might be even better than before.”
Justin grinned widely. “Because we’re together.”
A chorus of ‘awws’ was heard around the room but neither Brian nor Justin cared. They were about to show each and every one of their friends how good they were together.
***
Justin walked into the conference office and smiled at Sydney and Lindsay who sat on the sofa in the seating area of the room. They didn’t look upset, on the contrary, his bosses were smiling. Still, he felt weary of why exactly they had called him in on his day off for a sudden meeting. He’d seen Lindsay last night and she hadn’t said a thing to him about work and he hoped that if there was a problem she would’ve warned him beforehand. “Hi,” he offered nervously.
“Hello, Justin,” Sydney spoke smiling and offering his hand for Justin to shake.
“Hi, Justin,” Lindsay greeted, standing up to hug Justin. “Thanks for coming in. I hope we didn’t ruin your plans for this afternoon.”
“No, it’s no problem.” The only plans he had was to shop for Ben and Michael’s wedding gift and then lounge around his pool while he waited for Brian to call him and tell him to meet him at the loft after he got off work so that he could help Brian start to pack.
“Go ahead and take a seat,” Sydney offered, pointing the empty leather chair across from him.
“Okay.” Justin sat down and folded his hands in his lap so he wouldn’t begin the nervous habit of wringing them or drumming them on his legs.
Sydney reached for a black folder from the table beside him. “I’d like you to take a look a look at these,” he said and handed it to Justin.
Justin opened the folder and the first thing he saw was a photograph of one of the paintings he’d had in the last student art show at PIFA. He turned to the next page and there he saw a picture of the painting he had done for his final project, Brian’s naked torso and stomach his sculpted arms crossed over his belly. The next page showed two pictures, both of small abstract paintings that had been featured in PIFA’s student magazine when they’d done a spotlight student feature on him. Justin continued to look through the folder and on every page there were photos of his work, even some sketches he’d done in high school for various competitions. He was confused as to why they were showing him this. Some of the paintings he’d submitted in his portfolio when he first applied for the position at the gallery, but others he had never shown Lindsay or Sydney. When he turned to the last page, his body turned ice cold. “How... how did you get these?” he asked, glancing up at his bosses. “What is all of this?”
“I keep track of local talent,” Sydney said, “I always have. You never know when you might discover the next Andy Warhol.”
Justin pointed to the last page and looked at Lindsay. “Did you take this?” He was sure Sydney didn’t have access to Brian’s loft.
Lindsay nodded. “Brian left his scarf at Debbie’s last night so this morning I went by Brian’s to drop it off. I saw that he’d replaced the painting he sold to us with this and I could see why he would. Justin, it’s amazing.”
“It was private,” Justin said, trying not to sound as angry as he was. “That was a private piece for Brian. He knew that. I can’t believe he let you take a picture of it.”
“He didn’t,” Lindsay admitted warily. “Brian had already gone to work,” she told him and leaned forward to squeeze his knee. “Justin, you’ve never been shy about showing me your work before, I didn’t think you’d mind. If I had, I never would’ve taken the picture.”
Justin closed the folder and leaned away from Lindsay’s touch, causing her hand to drop away from his leg. “All this other stuff was in public art shows,” he explained, “that wasn’t.”
“Justin, please don’t be angry with Lindsay,” Sydney said. “She was so excited when she saw it and I’m glad she took a picture of it and showed it to me this morning. I think when you hear why we’ve asked you to come in today, you’ll be glad she took that picture too.”
“Okay,” Justin said. “Why?”
Sydney said, “I’ve seen a lot panel pieces in my years as an art lover, but I’ve never seen one that evokes so much emotion. You managed to create a four panel piece that has no division from one to the next. I haven’t had the pleasure to see it in person, but from a photograph, I saw the painting as a whole piece long before I realized that it was four paintings as one. Whether it’s a model you used or your imagination, the man in that painting is stunningly human, no matter the abstract style you painted him in. The work you showed at the emerging artists show and your extensive love and knowledge of art is the reason I hired you, but that piece is the reason why I want to give you your own show here at the gallery.”
Justin gulped around the lump in his throat and asked, “Are you serious?”
“Completely,” Sydney said, grinning.
Lindsay laughed when she saw Justin’s mouth drop open in shock. “You know you’re a great artist,” she told him. “You deserve to have your work displayed here.”
“Oh my god,” Justin whispered, his heart racing.
“Do you remember last week we severed the contract with Danielle Browning because her agent told us that she would not be ready to show in January?” Lindsay asked.
Justin nodded. “Yes. We replaced her with Steven Lathrup, right?”
“Well, Sydney and I thought of him as a replacement but we weren’t sure he was ready for his own show so we’ve still been looking. We’ve only got a few days before we need to do advertisement for it and send out invitations. Anyone we’ve been mildly interested in has pieces that we like, but we’ve been hesitating on offering them the show, both because of the short time period and because we’d been thinking of offering it to you. When I walked in the loft and saw that painting, Justin, I just had to take a picture of it and show Sydney. All the work you’ve done up until now has been beautiful expressions of your talent, but that piece is exactly what we’ve been looking for from the other artists and here you were, the whole time, right under our nose and we know you’re ready for this.”
“Justin,” Sydney continued to explain, “I always planned to put your work in more of our shows here, but you need a solo show and we need an artist with your talent and caliber of work.”
“So, we’re hoping you’ll say yes,” Lindsay said. “The show opens on Friday, January 6th and will close on the 8th.”
Justin’s heart was beating so fast he could hardly believe he was actually hearing what he was. “Pinch me,” he requested. Two amazing things in two days’ time had to be impossible right?
Lindsay and Sydney laughed and he said, “Justin, I know a lot of the work you do is on large canvases. We’d hold the show on the top floor here, so there’s a lot of space for them but we’d love to see smaller pieces too.”
“How many pieces would I need?” Justin asked, mentally thinking about the work he had created in his new studio that he hadn’t shown anyone.
“I think we should see what you have for now, do some measurements and maybe that will be enough to fill the gallery,” Lindsay told him. “If it isn’t, we’ll space the canvases further apart, maybe add some draping to make it all feel more mysterious.”
“We understand that piece you gave your boyfriend isn’t for sale,” Sydney said, “but we’d like to show it here.”
Justin’s eyes widened, he wasn’t sure if he could handle so many people seeing a painting of him naked. Only Brian had guessed that it was him, but he was self-conscious of anyone else realizing it. However, that piece was the reason he was offered a solo show so he couldn’t exactly refuse. “Okay.”
Sydney grinned. “That’s great. So, Lindsay told me that you have a new studio at your home. Do you think you and she could take a trip out there with you today and you can show her anything we haven’t seen that you might like to put in the show? She’ll take some photos and dimensions and we’ll start getting everything together.”
“Sure,” Justin said, happily. “Though there are two pieces I’m working on that I might like for the show but they’re not finished yet.”
“We still have over a month before the show,” Lindsay said encouragingly. “If you think you might need some time off work to complete them I’m sure we can give you that.”
“But I already was off work so much,” Justin said. “I couldn’t do that to you guys.” He made commission from the paintings he sold, but that was on top of the salary he made and he didn’t like to think he wasn’t contributing enough to the gallery to earn it.
“Right now you need to concentrate on your art,” Sydney said. “We want you to continue working here. You’re amazing at your job, but Justin we want you to succeed at what we know you’re meant to do. If that means we pick up a little of the slack around so you can have time to do that for a show that will bring us tons of business, then that’s what we’ll need to do.”
Lindsay stood up. “So are you ready to head out to your house now?”
Justin rose to his feet and felt a little shaky. He could hardly believe that this was actually happening. “Yes, let’s go.” He thanked Sydney again and then followed Lindsay out of the gallery to his car. For all the crap he’d dealt with this year, it had also been the best year of his life.
***
Brian looked at the profit and earnings yearly statement Ted had given him and then looked up at his employee and asked, “You haven’t suddenly forgotten your math skills have you, Theodore?”
Ted had the audacity to glare at Brian. “We’ve had a good year. The best year Exhibition has had yet. So what do you think you’re going to do with your share of the profits?”
“Any suggestions?” Brian asked. “Last time I bought Babylon, what do you think I should buy now?”
“The diner? Your favorite boutique,” Ted suggested with a laugh. “Any of the other places you regularly frequent.”
“The diner isn’t a bad idea,” Brian said, “have you heard that Frank is selling?”
“No,” Ted replied, “but I can find out. Though whatever the price, it will be small change compared to what will be in your bank account.”
“So, what are you planning to do with your profits?” Brian asked.
“I’ll donate enough for a tax break and I suggest you do the same. I’ll also invest some but I plan to buy a house for me and Blake. You could always do the same.”
“How very sensible of you, Theodore,” Brian said. “But in case you forgot, Justin just bought a mansion; one, I hear, you said was a good investment.”
Ted laughed. “Brian, I told him buying a house would be a good investment, I had no idea about the mansion. I was away on business with you when he bought it, remember?”
Brian nodded. “So you were.”
Ted grinned slyly. “So, what does Justin buying a house have to do with you buying one? Are you two living together now?”
Brian scoffed, “What business is it of yours?” Brian’s desk phone rang, stopping any reply from Ted. He picked up the phone. “Yes, Jeffery, I thought I told you not to disturb me.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Kinney, but you said not to disturb you unless Justin calls,” Jeffrey said.
“I told you to put him through if he called,” Brian corrected.
“Right,” Jeffery said, “but I can’t do that because he’s here.”
“Then send him in,” Brian said and hung up. He looked up at Ted and waved him off, “I’ve got business to attend to. Pick out some charities and I’ll see what I think of them.”
Ted had overheard who Jeffery said was there to visit Brian. “Business, really?”
“Get the fuck out of my office right now if you want to keep your job,” Brian growled.
Ted smiled smugly and walked toward the door and opened it right as Justin reached it. “Hello, Justin, good to see you again so soon.”
Justin stepped into the office and flashed Brian a smile before turning back toward Ted. “You too. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
“Nope, I was just going back to my office. By the way, I’m going to be looking to buy a house and put my condo on the market, could you give me your mother’s number?”
“Sure,” Justin said. He pulled his wallet from his back pocket and took out one of his mother’s cards. “There you go.”
“Thanks.” Ted gave Brian a small wave. “Have a good business meeting,” he told him before shutting the door behind him.
Brian slid out of his chair and stood up to greet Justin. After kissing him thoroughly and making both of them sport erections he asked, “So what’s with the surprise visit? I thought you were going to shop in Morgantown?”
Justin pulled himself away from Brian’s hold; there was no way he could think properly with Brian’s body plastered against his. “I got a call from Sydney and he wanted me to come in for a meeting.”
“From the excitement on your face I’m going to guess that you’re not fired.”
“Nope, though I may be taking some extra time off work to finish some paintings because he and Lindsay gave me my first solo show!”
“Holy shit!” Brian grabbed Justin and spun him around while kissing him. “That’s fantastic!”
Justin kissed across Brian’s jaw and murmured, “You have no idea how fantastic I feel right now.”
Brian pulled Justin’s button up shirt out of his pants and pushed his hands underneath it, running his hands up Justin’s silky smooth torso. “No, I think I do.”
Justin giggled as he unbuckled Brian’s belt. “You’d better lock your door.”
“Ted did before he left,” Brian told him.
Justin froze. “What?”
“Ted locked the door before he left,” Brian said, working at the buttons on Justin’s shirt.
Justin dropped his hands away from Brain’s zipper. “You mean he knows what we’re going to do?”
Brian sighed. “Justin, he’s my friend, he knows me.”
“But... do your other employees know?” Justin asked cautiously.
Brian was sure that some might guess but he wasn’t going to tell Justin that. “Probably not, most of them are straight and can’t even imagine what goes on between two naked men.” He leaned down and kissed Justin until he felt the worry fade and a new, better tension take its place.
“Oh, Mr. Kinney, please show me just what does go on,” Justin requested.
***
Brian had moved most of things to the house and Justin had moved some of his things to the loft. They discussed it and decided to keep the loft so they would have somewhere close to stay when they went out at night or if they had early meetings the next day. The move had gone smoothly and they were both easily adjusting to the new living arrangements, made even more livable by their brand new master bedroom set.
Brian walked around Justin’s studio and looked at all the paintings set up for his viewing. His favorite was a painting that he thought looked like a night view of the city from above.
“Do you like that one?” Justin asked.
Brian nodded and though he wanted to know exactly how Justin interpreted it, he hesitated asking because often with abstract paintings, he preferred not to know what the artist’s message or intended subject was. “I like it,” he replied after a few more minutes of appraising it. “But...”
Justin sighed. “But what?”
Brian looked at the other canvases he’d seen so far and reluctantly spoke his opinion, “I don’t think it goes with the others.”
“Me neither,” Justin grumbled. “Lindsay says an artist’s work, unless it’s intended to be a specific series is often very different from one piece to the next but I agree with you, it doesn’t fit in with the rest of my work. I don’t think I’m going to sell it.”
“I didn’t say you shouldn’t sell it, maybe you just shouldn’t show it with the rest. Ask Lindsay how much it’s going for, because I want it.”
Justin laughed. “Brian, you already have...”
“If you did put it in the show, I would have bought it and it’d be another painting hanging in a space that no one else could buy. Just ask Lindsay and I’ll fucking buy it off you. I want it for Exhibition.”
Justin smiled. “All right, I will.” He took Brian’s hand and led him over to the next painting he hadn’t seen. This one Justin had finished last night. “Lindsay hasn’t seen this one yet. No one has.”
Brian looked at the painting and saw that he was obviously the model. His legs were drawn up to his chest and his head was bowed so his face could not be seen, but Brian knew it was his own body. The use of dark colors and the overall bleakness of the subject matter bothered him. He had sat in the position for Justin while he’d sketched him and then took pictures to work from later, but he hadn’t imagined for Justin to translate that into such an emotional and cheerless piece. “It’s sad. I look depressed.”
“The painting is a little depressing,” Justin admitted. “But it’s not because of the way he’s sitting,” he told him, “it’s because of the short unfinished looking paint strokes and how the colors fade into the background. But I was feeling kind of down when I started it so I guess that’s what it became.”
“People are going to think I’m depressed,” Brian said uncertainly.
“People will think the artist is depressed when they see that his muse is a gorgeous, stunning man.”
Brian turned toward Justin and asked, “So why were you depressed?”
“I started to paint this as soon as the swelling went down on my hands. I was thinking about our fight and about life and just feeling scared, I guess. You may be my model but sometimes I am just using your beauty to express myself, not expressing your beauty or anything literal about you,” he tried to explain. “I stopped painting it for a while but picked it up again a few days ago.”
“You sure you weren’t pissed off at me and wanted me to look like I was a sad pathetic man?” Brian teased.
Justin adamantly shook his head no. “Remember a few days ago you called me on your lunch break and told me that Melanie and Lindsay had asked Ted to be the father of their kid and that Ted had agreed?”
“What does that have to do with this?” Brian asked.
“Well… Look, I haven’t told you this and didn’t want to before because I knew you’d be weird about it...”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“While you were away on business, the same trip you were on while I bought the house, Mel and Lindsay brought Gus and his friend to the hotel to swim, remember?”
“Yeah, you told me about that.”
“They asked me to be the father of their child and I turned them down.”
“It’s taken you months to tell me about this?” Brian asked, surprised. It wasn’t like they’d broken up right after he came back from the trip. Justin had had ample opportunity to tell him and he was surprised that Lindsay hadn’t bothered to mention this.
“Hey,” Justin held his hands up in defense, “think about all that happened while you were away. At the time, if I would’ve told you they asked, you would’ve made a big deal about it before I could even tell you that I said no.”
Brian shrugged and accepted that truth.
“It just wasn’t something I wanted to talk about and not only because of what I thought your reaction might be. I guess I probably should’ve told you this before now, but I don’t plan to ever be a biological father to a child,” Justin said. “I know it is a big deal for a lot of people who may want a child with their partner, whether you do or not, which I don’t think you do… you should know that I could never give you that.”
“Well I’m pretty sure that unless you grew a twat you couldn’t,” Brian snorted.
Justin rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean. Some people, maybe not you, but some dream of having a child with their partner, having a child that is a biological part of their partner. I’m sorry I didn’t really explain this to you the way I should have before when we fought that day in the car. I don’t even know if you remember what I said about it.”
“I remember,” Brian said. Previously, any time he’d thought of it, the part about Justin talking about children had somehow vanished from his memory but now he was able to recall every painful word Justin had spoken. “Look, I know you have a shit load of limitations down to the fucking kind of underwear you have to buy,” Brian said, “but that isn’t necessarily a limitation you have to have.” He didn’t know if he’d ever want to raise a child with Justin, couldn’t say for sure that he wouldn’t one day in the future, possibly, desiring this. But he still didn’t exactly understand why Justin didn’t want a biological child for himself. The reason he’d given Brian the day they fought didn’t sit right with him.
“It’s like I said,” Justin told him, crossing his arms over his chest. “I wouldn’t want my child to have to deal with the shit I have.”
“Your life is that bad?” Brian implored, curious.
“You do recall that I almost died not long ago, right?”
“Allergies aren’t always genetic,” Brian told him. “I’ve done my research. The odds are that your kid won’t be allergic to any of the things you are.”
“But the odds aren’t in my favor because people in my family have allergens more often than not. I have a dozen more than my mother and she has more than my grandmother. What if my kid was allergic to the sun or some shit?”
Brian snorted. “I’m pretty sure that’s actually a gene mutation and doesn’t have anything to do with...”
“Why do you care?” Justin asked frustrated. “I mean... I’m glad you care, but I don’t know why you’re pushing me about it when you don’t even want kids.”
“I don’t think you should put limits on what you want,” Brian said simply. “That’s all.”
“I appreciate you saying that, but there’s really no point in discussing it now.”
Brian gestured to the painting. “It’s what made you paint that.”
Justin turned and put his hands on Brian’s shoulders and shook him a little. “You are so frustrating.”
“You’re the one who said we should talk about important shit.”
Justin frowned. “So, is this something that you think is going to cause us to break up if we don’t talk about it?”
Brian shook his head. “I guess not, but...”
Justin shut him up with a kiss and said, “Then we can talk about it if the time comes that we ever need to, but I don’t want to talk about it anymore. You can see how I feel about it,” he pointed to the painting, “right?”
Brian did, but that was what worried him. “Just because it’s on the canvas doesn’t mean it isn’t still in here.” He placed his hand in Justin’s and squeezed it. “I just don’t want you to feel hopeless.”
Justin smiled softly. “Brian, I wouldn’t have used your image while expressing a feeling like hopelessness. I’d never do that, because you’re who I focus on; even if the painting isn’t about you, you’re the one who makes me not feel like I can make all my dreams become reality and that’s why I used you instead of myself.”
TBC in Chapter 11-Pt-3 here---> http://galeandrandy.livejournal.com/232763.html
cr-11-2