Strength is from within...
Simon, when you get a moment, can you take a look at my thigh? It hadn't hurt, and I've been neglecting to go to medical due to the overflow. Also, getting Ghost taken care of was more important, and I had to make arrangements for Goose. The pain came back, I think my adrenaline is wearing off
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So with that, he makes his way to the spa, med kit in hand, and gives his usual polite smile and greeting to the staff, who are used to his presence, and searches for Inara, finding her in her private chambers. He opens his mouth to speak, realizes he doesn't know where to begin, and shuts it. His expression probably betrays his stress level, however.]
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Her own issues seemed unimportant compared to the loss of someone's life, and no matter how annoyed Simon was with her it was nothing compared to how angry she was at herself for not noticing that Goose had been bleeding out while she tended to Ghost. When he comes in the room and is unable to speak, Inara raises an eyebrow delicately.]
You do realize you'll have to speak eventually. I'll be waiting for when you're ready.
[Lifting her skirt, she carefully unwraps her thigh]
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I am not interested in opening my mouth and saying something I will regret later. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in more than a week, I've spent the last day and a half pulling bullets out of people... I'd rather make this as painless for both of us as possible. Physically AND mentally.
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I know, you've been stretched to your limit. It seems everyone in Medical has. I know my conscious decision to not add to that may have seemed noble at the time, but it's obvious that you had no need for the added stress. [She kept her tone soft but neutral, attempting to diffuse the situation.]
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[Simon stops to take a deep breath before he starts dressing the wound, remaining silent until he has finished, his work slow and careful. His anger dissipates the more he works, until he finishes and stands.]
Pardon me while I clean up.
[He briefly leaves the room to wash his hands and discard his used supplies before re-entering. His expression has softened in the meantime; he pulls a chair and seats himself next to Inara, sighing.]
Yes, it was incredibly stupid for you not to come to Medical right away. But considering the circumstances... And I rather thought that someone would have made sure you got there. I suppose it was easy to slip away in all of the bedlam, though.
[He places a hand on her shoulder. Time to swallow his pride a little.]
... I'm sorry for being so short with you. You know I am not normally like this. But, you're right, something like this is the last thing I need right now.
[He shakes his head, looking down.]
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Of course, you know where the bathroom is.
[She took the opportunity to cover her leg, arranging her skirt demurely while she waited for Simon to re-emerge. She didn't speak until he was finished.]
It was easy for me to slip away, besides I wasn't as injured as many of the others. I wasn't thinking clearly after finding out about Goose, so I'll admit that prompted my decision.
[She reaches up and runs her fingers over his hand, smiling.]
I know, and I understand. Times like these bring out the worst in people, there's no escaping it.
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Instead, he forces all of it down, tries best to cover the awkwardness his long silence has surely left.]
It was a mistake. I suppose from my perspective it's easy to get angry and think that you were being foolish; it didn't happen to me, after all.
[Another deep breath, another headshake.]I can't lie- were I in your position, I would likely have done the same thing. It's not easy to lose a friend, and our emotions ( ... )
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I acted foolishly, I know this now. When it comes to matters of personal health I shouldn't think others would understand if I chose not to put my own first. I needed time, and to try and understand why Goose chose not to say anything when he was so obviously hurting.
[She pauses, taking a moment to compose herself. The emotion is still far too raw for her to be fully comfortable.]
You're right in that it never gets easier, however I did die once.
[The note of confusion in her voice is obvious.]
There was a fire, I died then...
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From where I'm sitting, he took his job seriously and wanted to make sure you were alright first before seeking treatment himself. It's probably a small comfort, I know... if it is one at all.
[Simon then jerks back impulsively, giving an unintentional cry of surprise as his vision goes completely dark, his hearing staticing.]
That's...
[He buries his face in his hands, rubbing it hard, trying desperately to grasp the answer.]
When I died, I felt like I'd forgotten something big. There's a huge gap from a few months ago- I remember the islands on the second floor being one way, and next I can recall, they were completely different. But I don't know how-
[He stops, holding his stomach, which has begun to churn painfully.]
Whatever it is you're referring to is what I've forgotten, and the Sphere doesn't want me to know about it.
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