Buffy/Spike: When She Fell
I've wavered on a lot of things in BtVS. I usually have to think quite a bit and read lots of different viewpoints before I take a firm stance on an interpretation.
There's one thing, though, that I haven't really wavered on too much. Oh, I've thought about it quite a bit, but my position remained basically the same after a lot of thought as it was when I was first watching.
The stance in question is regarding when Buffy fell in love with Spike. It is ambiguous in canon; Buffy holds onto her feelings till the last minute. So it is up in the air as to when, exactly, she began to love Spike. S7? S6? S5? Earlier? Never?
I have my initial opinion on that, which remains my primary position. However, I also have an alternate explanation that makes sense to me, as well, though it's not my preferred one.
1. Buffy fell in love with Spike in S7. Sometime between Showtime and Touched.
I think this is later than common opinion, but hey. Here's my reasoning:
No, I don't think Buffy loved Spike in S6. Buffy was clinically depressed. I don't think she was any state of mind to love in that fashion. She held some affection for him, yes. But love? No, I don't quite see it.
The most telling moment to me is the end of Dead Things, actually. From the original shooting script:
Tara: Do you love him?
Buffy, still sobbing, looks at Tara as if she can't even comprehend the question. It clearly has made it worse.
Tara: It's okay if you do... He's done a lot of good, and he does love you...and Buffy, it's okay if you don't. You're going through a hard time, and you're...
Buffy: Using him? What's okay about that?
Tara: It's not that simple.
Buffy: It is! It's wrong. I'm wrong...Tell me that I'm wrong...
This scene always makes me cry.
A couple things in this scene are telling to me:
1. The script direction that Buffy "can't even comprehend the question". SMG's acting is spot-on and even on the first watch, I could visibly see her confusion at the very question. Which suggests to me, again, that her mental state prevents her from even loving anyone romantically. The thought is unthinkable. She's too caught up in her own problems at the moment.
2. Tara's line that it's okay if Buffy doesn't love him, to which Buffy replies that she's "using him". Buffy replies to the option that she doesn't love Spike, which indicates that that's the one that's true. Otherwise, she wouldn't be concerned about using him, and she wouldn't feel "wrong" about it.
Buffy's concern in this scene is not about her treatment of Spike in their relationship, but about the fact that they have a relationship at all in which she is clearly using him to escape her problems. Her conflict is that using someone in that fashion, especially when she doesn't feel anything for him, is not who Buffy is. She wouldn't have done that before. She had been using Spike's explanation that she "came back wrong" as an excuse to act differently. Tara, though, tells her there's nothing wrong with her. Buffy doesn't have an excuse to fall back on. She's using Spike's love and taking advantage of him for her own pleasure, and she's completely responsible for it.
I think it's one of the most tragic parts of the Buffy/Spike relationship in S6 that Spike's love goes without reciprocation by Buffy. It's no small coincidence that Buffy breaks up with Spike shortly after this (Though I think the break-up should have happened immediately after this episode. I'm unhappy with the way this episode just isn't adequately followed up. I mean, they have Older and Far Away right after this with almost no progress shown. WTF?).
So that's the reason I don't think she loved him in S6. Why do I think S7? Well, obviously, she falls in love with him sometime before the end of the series. I'm not sure if a particular moment can be pointed to, as it was likely a gradual process for Buffy, who's especially closed off.
It is apparent to me that Spike's return at the begin of S7, naturally, unnerved her a good bit. However, once she thinks about it, we see that she starts to adjust her opinion of him in Never Leave Me. I think his subsequent capture drives home to Buffy how important he's become to her, overall.
After that episode, she becomes increasingly tender and affectionate towards him. Which is why I place the "falling in love" moment to between Showtime and Touched.
Of course, there is a bit of a bump in my thoughts here, and it centers on one line in First Date:
Buffy: Why does everybody think I'm still in love with Spike?
Ironically enough, the line in the original script is slightly different (emphasis mine):
Buffy: Why does everybody still think I'm in love with Spike?
It makes a big difference in meaning. Who knows why it changed in the actual episode? SMG flubbed her line (doubtful), last minute change for whatever reason, whatever. But we gotta take it as it happened in the episode, so the actual line we have does suggest that Buffy was formerly in love with Spike, which kinda goes against my theory.
However, it still doesn't dissuade me from it. Why? In my mind, that line indicates that Buffy, even at this point, was confused about their past relationship. She knows they were intimate, and she may be conflating it with a love that clearly wasn't there. This is in First Date where Buffy goes on a sorta-date with Principal Wood. She's obviously not very sure about her feelings for Spike at the present time, much less during that muddled, angsty period in S6.
So in this case, I think we're seeing Buffy confuse her current feelings for Spike that she's not quite sure about with how she previously felt for him. Also remember, that line is said defensively, which means I'd generally take it with a grain of salt.
So that's my main belief. However, as I said, I do have an alternate view that I think is equally supported by canon.
2. Buffy fell in love with Spike at the beginning of S6.
Yeah, you heard me. Taking this view brings out the Spuffy of S6 in a big way. With this, a lot of Buffy's treatment of Spike can be attributed to her denial of her feelings rather than her own self-loathing. She doesn't think she should love Spike, so she lashes out against him and does everything she can to convince herself that she doesn't love him.
With this, the Dead Things scene is another instance of that denial, and Buffy's pleas that she's "wrong" are because she can't believe she's treating a loved one in such a fashion.
In that way, S7 becomes the season where she struggles to accept her feelings for Spike rather than when she develops him. This better explains her comment in First Date, though it goes against my opinion of the Buffy/Spike arc in S6.
But I think I take a fairly unromantic view of Buffy/Spike in S6 compared to some (I can't even bring myself to call it "Spuffy", actually. It's Buffy/Spike).
Anyway, that's my tl;dr. Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions.
There's one thing, though, that I haven't really wavered on too much. Oh, I've thought about it quite a bit, but my position remained basically the same after a lot of thought as it was when I was first watching.
The stance in question is regarding when Buffy fell in love with Spike. It is ambiguous in canon; Buffy holds onto her feelings till the last minute. So it is up in the air as to when, exactly, she began to love Spike. S7? S6? S5? Earlier? Never?
I have my initial opinion on that, which remains my primary position. However, I also have an alternate explanation that makes sense to me, as well, though it's not my preferred one.
1. Buffy fell in love with Spike in S7. Sometime between Showtime and Touched.
I think this is later than common opinion, but hey. Here's my reasoning:
No, I don't think Buffy loved Spike in S6. Buffy was clinically depressed. I don't think she was any state of mind to love in that fashion. She held some affection for him, yes. But love? No, I don't quite see it.
The most telling moment to me is the end of Dead Things, actually. From the original shooting script:
Tara: Do you love him?
Buffy, still sobbing, looks at Tara as if she can't even comprehend the question. It clearly has made it worse.
Tara: It's okay if you do... He's done a lot of good, and he does love you...and Buffy, it's okay if you don't. You're going through a hard time, and you're...
Buffy: Using him? What's okay about that?
Tara: It's not that simple.
Buffy: It is! It's wrong. I'm wrong...Tell me that I'm wrong...
This scene always makes me cry.
A couple things in this scene are telling to me:
1. The script direction that Buffy "can't even comprehend the question". SMG's acting is spot-on and even on the first watch, I could visibly see her confusion at the very question. Which suggests to me, again, that her mental state prevents her from even loving anyone romantically. The thought is unthinkable. She's too caught up in her own problems at the moment.
2. Tara's line that it's okay if Buffy doesn't love him, to which Buffy replies that she's "using him". Buffy replies to the option that she doesn't love Spike, which indicates that that's the one that's true. Otherwise, she wouldn't be concerned about using him, and she wouldn't feel "wrong" about it.
Buffy's concern in this scene is not about her treatment of Spike in their relationship, but about the fact that they have a relationship at all in which she is clearly using him to escape her problems. Her conflict is that using someone in that fashion, especially when she doesn't feel anything for him, is not who Buffy is. She wouldn't have done that before. She had been using Spike's explanation that she "came back wrong" as an excuse to act differently. Tara, though, tells her there's nothing wrong with her. Buffy doesn't have an excuse to fall back on. She's using Spike's love and taking advantage of him for her own pleasure, and she's completely responsible for it.
I think it's one of the most tragic parts of the Buffy/Spike relationship in S6 that Spike's love goes without reciprocation by Buffy. It's no small coincidence that Buffy breaks up with Spike shortly after this (Though I think the break-up should have happened immediately after this episode. I'm unhappy with the way this episode just isn't adequately followed up. I mean, they have Older and Far Away right after this with almost no progress shown. WTF?).
So that's the reason I don't think she loved him in S6. Why do I think S7? Well, obviously, she falls in love with him sometime before the end of the series. I'm not sure if a particular moment can be pointed to, as it was likely a gradual process for Buffy, who's especially closed off.
It is apparent to me that Spike's return at the begin of S7, naturally, unnerved her a good bit. However, once she thinks about it, we see that she starts to adjust her opinion of him in Never Leave Me. I think his subsequent capture drives home to Buffy how important he's become to her, overall.
After that episode, she becomes increasingly tender and affectionate towards him. Which is why I place the "falling in love" moment to between Showtime and Touched.
Of course, there is a bit of a bump in my thoughts here, and it centers on one line in First Date:
Buffy: Why does everybody think I'm still in love with Spike?
Ironically enough, the line in the original script is slightly different (emphasis mine):
Buffy: Why does everybody still think I'm in love with Spike?
It makes a big difference in meaning. Who knows why it changed in the actual episode? SMG flubbed her line (doubtful), last minute change for whatever reason, whatever. But we gotta take it as it happened in the episode, so the actual line we have does suggest that Buffy was formerly in love with Spike, which kinda goes against my theory.
However, it still doesn't dissuade me from it. Why? In my mind, that line indicates that Buffy, even at this point, was confused about their past relationship. She knows they were intimate, and she may be conflating it with a love that clearly wasn't there. This is in First Date where Buffy goes on a sorta-date with Principal Wood. She's obviously not very sure about her feelings for Spike at the present time, much less during that muddled, angsty period in S6.
So in this case, I think we're seeing Buffy confuse her current feelings for Spike that she's not quite sure about with how she previously felt for him. Also remember, that line is said defensively, which means I'd generally take it with a grain of salt.
So that's my main belief. However, as I said, I do have an alternate view that I think is equally supported by canon.
2. Buffy fell in love with Spike at the beginning of S6.
Yeah, you heard me. Taking this view brings out the Spuffy of S6 in a big way. With this, a lot of Buffy's treatment of Spike can be attributed to her denial of her feelings rather than her own self-loathing. She doesn't think she should love Spike, so she lashes out against him and does everything she can to convince herself that she doesn't love him.
With this, the Dead Things scene is another instance of that denial, and Buffy's pleas that she's "wrong" are because she can't believe she's treating a loved one in such a fashion.
In that way, S7 becomes the season where she struggles to accept her feelings for Spike rather than when she develops him. This better explains her comment in First Date, though it goes against my opinion of the Buffy/Spike arc in S6.
But I think I take a fairly unromantic view of Buffy/Spike in S6 compared to some (I can't even bring myself to call it "Spuffy", actually. It's Buffy/Spike).
Anyway, that's my tl;dr. Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions.