When he needs help I help him
So I was sitting, reading for my gender class (cause there's an exam tomorrow and I'm behind), and I read this one essay and all I could think was S7 SPUFFY OH MY GOD!!!
The Feminization of Love by Francesca M. Cancian (Sorry, you need JSTOR access to read it).
Let me give you the basic gist that's relevant to the Buffy here:
In society, love is generally understood in a feminized context, specifically in terms of "affectionate behavior". That is, we think of love as open expressions of feeling and affection and such and such and sappy romance novels yay.
However, there exists a masculine form of love that is expressed by "instrumental behavior", such as actions taken to help a loved one.
Random example taken from the text: some researchers told a dude to increase his affectionate behavior toward his wife, so he washed her car. He was gobsmacked when neither his wife nor the researchers saw that as an "affectionate" act.
That's cause it was "instrumental", yet no less a display of love. Just one that isn't recognized much by society.
In fact, I found it best characterized by the statement that men tended to choose on a survey about their feelings towards what love is: "When she needs help I help her".
That's...that's so Buffy in S7. She's not so much with the affectionate behavior anymore. Years of isolation and relationship trauma has sucked it out of her. But instrumental behavior, displaying her love through actions...that she can do and does.
After Sleeper, she takes Spike in, advocates for him to everybody, turns her back on Giles on his behalf, and consistently sticks by his side.
I'll admit, I think I have something of a kink for this type of expression of love. The unspoken stuff. That's probably why S7 Spuffy appeals to me so much.
*goes back to studying for the exam*
The Feminization of Love by Francesca M. Cancian (Sorry, you need JSTOR access to read it).
Let me give you the basic gist that's relevant to the Buffy here:
In society, love is generally understood in a feminized context, specifically in terms of "affectionate behavior". That is, we think of love as open expressions of feeling and affection and such and such and sappy romance novels yay.
However, there exists a masculine form of love that is expressed by "instrumental behavior", such as actions taken to help a loved one.
Random example taken from the text: some researchers told a dude to increase his affectionate behavior toward his wife, so he washed her car. He was gobsmacked when neither his wife nor the researchers saw that as an "affectionate" act.
That's cause it was "instrumental", yet no less a display of love. Just one that isn't recognized much by society.
In fact, I found it best characterized by the statement that men tended to choose on a survey about their feelings towards what love is: "When she needs help I help her".
That's...that's so Buffy in S7. She's not so much with the affectionate behavior anymore. Years of isolation and relationship trauma has sucked it out of her. But instrumental behavior, displaying her love through actions...that she can do and does.
After Sleeper, she takes Spike in, advocates for him to everybody, turns her back on Giles on his behalf, and consistently sticks by his side.
I'll admit, I think I have something of a kink for this type of expression of love. The unspoken stuff. That's probably why S7 Spuffy appeals to me so much.
*goes back to studying for the exam*