(no subject)
Title: Ready For A Fall (31/?)
Author: Chelle Storey-Daniel
Rating: Strong R
Pairing: Addison/Mark, Callie/George, Callie/Alex, George/Izzie, Meredith/Derek
Summary: Sometimes it hurts to fall, but if you're lucky someone may catch you. And they may be falling, too.
A/N: I laughed my ass off writing this. I'm not kidding. I literally laughed until I ached. Addison and Callie? They're trouble from the world 'go'. This chapter was FUN.
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty One
Twenty Two
Twenty Three
Twenty Four
Twenty Five
Twenty Six
Twenty Seven
Twenty Eight
Twenty Nine
Thirty
*~*~*~*~*~
The pain is self-inflicted
I know it’s not good for my health
But it’s easier to please the world
Than it is to please myself
All the rest is out of my hands
I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, yeah I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can
- Leann Rimes
*~*~*~*~*~
Callie sat in the corner of the nursery, rocking Alexandria. The baby’s cries had caught her attention as she was passing by so she had gone inside and taken matters into her own hands. Callie was frustrated. Two full weeks had passed and no one had been genetically matched with Ava or her baby. The hotline was still going strong, ringing around the clock, but almost every lead was a dead end. It made no sense. Someone, somewhere had to know who Ava was. Someone had to be looking for her. The baby’s father was out there somewhere.
Callie’s frustration did not rest solely on Ava’s predicament, however. Izzie Stevens was back at work and had decided to take a page from George’s book and kill her with kindness. The first day it was okay. The second day it had gotten grating and by the third day, today, Callie had taken to going the other way when she spotted the blond. And Izzie seemed to be everywhere at once, prompting Callie to wonder aloud if she had a transmogrifier. Alex was the only one who got the joke and he had laughed long and hard before kissing her. It should have been a welcome relief to not have vitriol spewed at her, but everything Stevens said to her felt hollow and she was getting tired of faking a smile while the other woman babbled about the clinic or about how Callie was right about Dr. Gellar.
And then there was Dr. Gellar.
Callie had spent an hour with him that morning for her own evaluation and she had hated every moment of it. They had discussed the fight, talked about Callie’s weight loss at length, then discussed her penchant for running. After laying it all on the line for him, he suggested that perhaps she could benefit from anti-depressants. She had staunchly refused. Alex had told her that his mother was on the same medication that Gellar wanted to push at her and he didn’t need *any* reminders of that lying around. Despite her best efforts to assure the psychiatrist, he had not been swayed and changed their meetings from once per week to twice.
She wondered how much involvement Chief Webber had in that decision.
"Are you spoiling that baby again?" Addison asked, leaning over Callie to peer at the little girl. "You shouldn’t hold an infant while it’s sleeping. She’ll never sleep on her own if you do that."
"She just fell asleep a minute ago." Callie got to her feet and put Alexandria in her cradle. It was uncommon for newborns to stay in the nursery for so long, but Ava had developed a horrific head cold and was terrified that Alexandria would become ill if she came around. Callie pulled the blanket over the baby and watched as Addison worked on another one. The little guy had been valiantly clinging to life for two days. "You ever think about Jamie Carr?"
Addison nodded. "All the time."
"Me too."
"That was one of the hardest cases I’ve ever worked." Addison listened to the deep, even breaths of the baby and smiled. "I’m glad you were with me. It was a perverse way for us to become best friends, but at least we got something positive out of it. Right?"
"Dr. Gellar thinks I need Prozac."
Addison looked at her. "And you don’t?"
"You do?" Callie’s eyes widened a little. "Do you think I need it?"
"I think that if I can avoid seeing you in the shape you were in the night that Alex left you ... I’d be all for it. You scared me that night, Cal. Bad." Addison put her stethoscope around her neck and walked around the incubator. She took Callie’s hand. "As much as I support your decision to do AA, I don’t know that that’s the only help that you need."
"God, you’ve been with Mark *too* long. He thinks I’m certifiable, too."
"I didn’t say that. I don’t think that," Addison replied. "You’re running yourself ragged for this fund raiser. You’re still not eating enough to keep a bird alive and Alex said that you’re so exhausted at night that you fall asleep the second your feet hit the deck of your boat. He’s worried and frankly ... so am I."
The red head pointed at the rocking chair that Callie had vacated. "Sit down for a second. I want to talk to you."
Callie sighed, but complied. Addison pulled another rocking chair next to hers and said, "You don’t always have to be the best at everything. It’s what you do, it’s who you are to over achieve, but if you set your personal bar so high that you have to struggle to reach it, then maybe your expectations are a little too extreme and you should back off yourself a little."
"What are you talking about?"
"You can’t get mad at Alex for this, Callie." Addison warned her with a pointed look. "He mentioned at lunch today, the lunch you missed because you felt like your life would end if you didn’t spend that hour working on the phone in the clinic, that you have become a Stepford Wife. Or, girlfriend. Whatever."
"What!?"
"You wake up at dawn to cook him breakfast, Callie. We don’t cook! We get a bagel and run off to check the surgical boards. You bust your ass all day working and you’re getting around your four day a week schedule by hiding behind the fund raiser so you haven’t had a day off at all. You go home and cook dinner and don’t eat it and then you’re so exhausted that you’re asleep by nine every night," Addison took a deep breath. "Where is *your* time? Time for *you*?"
"I also managed to squeeze in two AA meetings, Addison. That’s my time." Callie leaned her head against the back of the rocker and closed her eyes. "I’m so glad I’m not Chief Resident. Sydney is here seventeen hours a day and I’m here *ten* at the most and everyone freaks out."
"Okay, now you’re going into defensive mode and you don’t need to," Addy said. "I just think that when you push yourself as hard as you’ve been pushing that you’re bound to fall. You’re going to trip over your own good intentions. I don’t want you to fall. I also don’t want you to crash and burn and if the circles under your eyes are any indication ... you’re already there."
"I have a lot on my plate, Addison!"
"And none of it is nutritious." Leaning forward, Addison stopped her from getting up from her seat. "No, you’re not leaving. I’m not finished."
"Did someone set off a roadside bomb in Beirut that you need to blame me for?"
"Passive aggressive is something I speak fluently." Addison smiled at her. "So, I can translate very easily. You’re getting pissed at me for putting all my cards on the table because you know that you don’t have a winning hand. You know that I’m right. Is everything okay with you and Alex?"
"Everything is perfect with Alex. I’m happy. As soon as we find Ava’s family and do this clinic thing and my divorce is final ... my life is going to be a fairy tale." Callie eased back in her seat to indicate that Addison didn’t have to hover over her, but it didn’t work. Her friend pulled her rocking chair around so that they were knee to knee and face to face. "What? Say whatever it is."
"I suggested to Chief Webber that we should designate people to help you out with this fund raiser. He - he thinks that Izzie Stevens should be involved since she funded it to begin with and that Bailey would like to help out. And me. So, stop killing yourself and enjoy the perfect life you have with your boyfriend. Please?"
"Oh, god damn. Now I have to *work* with Stevens? Because that worked out so well last time?"
"She’s my study buddy. Bailey is yours. We all have a meeting this afternoon for you to brief us on what you’ve done and what the plans are. Splitting it four ways will make all the difference, Callie, and if it’s not enough we’ll find more people."
"I guess I should say thank you. I am a little overwhelmed or a lot, depending on my fluctuating mood." Callie crossed her arms over her chest. "But I do not want to hear any of Izzie’s speeches. And if I get even a hint of a whine I’m resigning from this project."
Addison grinned at her. "I thought you two had kissed and made up."
Callie pretended to gag. "I’m no longer vexed with the urge to throttle her, but she still grates on my nerves if I’m around her more than a nanosecond."
"Oh, such strides you’ve made," Addison replied. "So, Prozac? Maybe you should consider something milder, something that you don’t have to take every day. Something just for anxiety. I happen to have been intimate with Xanax. And Klonopin. I think I read somewhere that divorcing women are the most likely to take those two drugs and it definitely helped me."
"No." Callie reiterated firmly. "I have to learn to rely on *me*. Not alcohol and not medication. They’re one and the same. Either one is going to numb things so that I don’t have to deal with it. I’m ready to deal with it. I’m ready to deal with whatever else life can throw at me because I have you, I have Alex, and I have an amazing family so I can’t complain. And I can’t hide."
"And yet ... you’re hiding behind work."
"Could you please stop knowing me as well as Cambyses does?"
"What’s going on with you, Callie?"
"I feel like I traded my Goth card for an Emo card all of the sudden."
Addison wrinkled her nose. "I can *not* translate that. Help me out."
"I need to make a lot of apologies and I suck at it. I really suck at sorry and any form of sorrow whatsoever. When I left for those fifteen days ... you guys didn’t know if I was coming back. Or if I was okay. And that
makes me a bad person. I’ve always been that person." Callie ran a hand through her hair. "I got my first ten speed for my eleventh birthday and I wasn’t supposed to know because it was hidden in the garage. I took it for a ride and then I realized that it was dirty so I’d be punished for it. I spent the night in the woods. The police found me the following morning. My mother was catatonic for days.
"When I was thirteen, my mom wanted me to sing the National Anthem at a baseball game. I didn’t want to do it because my braces would blind people in the sunlight so I called my Godmother and told her that my parents wanted me to come and see her. And I left on a plane that night. When I was sixteen, I had a fake ID, and my mom wanted me to have a fucking girly ass coming out party so I went to Europe and pretended to be a French. Then I went to Australia a while later because I wrecked my dad’s car. It took him close to a month to find me. He didn’t even yell. He just didn’t let go of me for hours.
"I spent the summer of my eighteenth year trying to outrun my dad who was hot on my heels as I backpacked across Mexico trying to blend in the with the natives because I didn’t want to go to college. I wanted to go to flight school." She absently cracked her knuckles. "And it doesn’t matter that they found me or that I came back here on my own. What matters is that I did it to begin with.
"I look at Ava or any number of people who come in here and when we ask if we can call someone, they say no. So many people are completely alone in the world and *I*, who grew up with the silver spoon and relatives all over the place, actually get pissed when I can’t vanish. What do I have to hide from? What do I have to run from? How do I make up for all the sleepless nights that I’ve caused people by not bothering to call and say ‘I’m okay’?"
"By not doing it again," Addison told her. "And I think I’ve already told you that you have to forgive yourself for any mistakes that you’ve made. Don’t hold your feet to the fire just because you screwed up. That’s what people do. That’s why we’re here."
"We’re here to screw up?" Callie raised a brow.
"If there *is* a God, he sits up in Heaven and laughs his ass off at how incomprehensibly stupid we really are. We’re here for his amusement. He keeps it interesting by making us throw caution to the wind and jump headfirst into running away ... or ... choosing to live with a sex monster."
Callie chuckled. "So, Mark hasn’t put away the penis yet, huh?"
"I think the only time it isn’t at attention is when he’s operating."
"Addison, you have my handcuffs. You can cuff him, stuff a sock in his mouth, and get some rest."
"You mean hold him hostage?"
"Turnabout’s fair play. You make it sound like he’s holding you hostage to have multiple orgasms. Which, unless my memory if failing me, you *begged* for."
"We are actively not talking about me." Addison made a face at her. "I better warn you about something."
"Oh god, what? Is Stevens my intern this afternoon for that rotator cuff?"
"No. Your security guard, uhm, Leon, I think. He was treated earlier for severe abdominal pain and Alex was his doctor earlier. The pain meds made him talkative and he told Alex that you left your car running in the garage while you were in it a couple weeks ago and that the smell of it almost killed *him*." Addison watched her with apprehension. "So, what were you doing?"
"I didn’t realize the door closed behind me. There are sensors that can tell when you’ve pulled in and because my father apparently thinks that rapists hide behind every tree out there ... it automatically closes and I didn’t think about it."
"But why were you sitting in the garage at all, Callie?"
"Relief. I was too relieved to move a muscle because Alex’s car was home. Which meant he was home. Which meant that I had to sit there and thank God for a little while."
Addison leaned forward and hugged her. "Tell him that exact same thing and he’ll be just fine."
"Thanks."
"And stop spoiling that baby. She’ll be annoying as hell when Ava takes her home and doesn’t want to hold her all day."
"Okay."
Addy pulled away and beamed at her. "I feel that this conversation has been very productive. My wisdom and advice should at least force you to agree to dinner tonight. You know the guys *have* to watch that damn football game so they can do that and we can hang out."
Callie’s suspicion was written on her features. "And do what?"
"You’re going to help me wallpaper the bathroom." Holding her hands up like a scale, she pretended to weigh something back and forth. "Wit beyond measure or wallpapering. I think you’ll have to help me paint the office, too."
"You started Harry Potter! Finally!"
"Witty though I may be, I’d be sorted into Gryffindor." Addison leaned back in her chair. "I’m brave."
"You’re brave? You’re terrified of your boyfriend’s penis."
"Says the Slytherin!"
Callie gasped. "Why would I be in Slytherin?"
"Because you’re Gothic, you make grown men cry, and you *run*."
"I hate you."
"That’s because I’m in Gryffindor."
"Bitch."
"Parseltongue."
"You *so* read the last book first!"
"No, we watched the movies. I’m on the third book, though."
Callie shook her head. "When do you find time to read between the maulings?"
"Do not laugh."
"I’d never laugh at you."
"Mark hates the television. So, we read the books to each other. One chapter at a time."
Callie cackled gleefully. "That is *so* Joey and Pacey! All you need are a couple of hammocks on Goon Docks and you’d *be* ‘Dawson’s Creek’."
"I may not know Gothic, but I do know that a true Gothic person would probably set you on fire for watching that shit."
"I may not know gynecology, but I do know that I could break your pubic bone."
"Oh, Mark did that this morning."
*~*~*~*~*~
"YOU WERE SITTING IN THE GARAGE WITH THE ENGINE RUNNING! AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THAT YOU WERE *PRAYING*?"
Callie nodded.
They were parked in front of Addison and Mark’s cabin. The Chinese food they had picked up smelled incredible and her stomach rumbled loudly, causing her to look at him pitifully. "I’m *starving*, Alex. And you have yelled at me for ninety minutes. It’s been a very hostile environment in this car *and* at the restaurant. I. Think. I. Get. The. Point."
"That’s a quote from ‘My Cousin Vinny’ and I’ll quote it, too. You think I'm hostile now, wait 'til you see me tonight."
"It is tonight," she replied, pointing out the window. "The moon is full and that’s usually when we have it. You know, at night."
"I MEANT WHEN WE GET HOME!"
"Maybe I won’t go home with you. Maybe I’ll stay here." She smiled when he gripped the steering wheel and glared out the windshield. "Or maybe you can get over it because it really was for Holy reasons. When the spirit moves you ... you have to listen. I was moved, Jock Strap. If I had had an entire pack of communion wafers, I would have eaten them all."
"You are so full of shit that you would bleed brown if I cut you right now."
"But you’re smiling." She leaned across the console and kissed him on the cheek. "My work is done. My very religious work."
"If you had eaten communion wafers, even half of one ... you would spontaneously combust because you’re *evil*."
"That may be moderately true, but my prayer was so monumental that the Opus Dei have started trying to recruit me. I may be canonized or at the very least be able to give the Pope a run for his money."
"I’m thinking that the Pope would burn you at the stake for this conversation alone." Alex opened the door. "But I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt even though to do so goes against everything in my being. If it happens again, though ..."
"You’ll what?" Callie asked, smiling from ear to ear. "Spank me? Chain me to the bed?"
"Toss your Playstation in the bay! With that game in it that you *finally* reached level four million and ten on!"
She narrowed her eyes. "I’d have to kill you for that."
"Oh, well." He shrugged and reached behind the seat, grabbing one of the two bags. Callie carried the other. They joined hands in front of the car and he pulled her against him, kissing her. He pulled back suddenly, "You’ve been in the crab rangoons!"
"You took too long in the service station and I am *hungry*."
"So hostile situations make you eat?"
"I’m a stress eater."
"I’ll keep that in mind."
Addison turned on the porch light and stepped out, her arms crossed. "Are you idiots *ever* going to come inside? My stomach is rubbing my backbone!"
"Impatient." Callie walked past her, handing her the bag she carried. "I asked for extra fortune cookies. Just for you."
The table was already set and Callie greeted Mark, who replied by tapping his watch. Callie rolled her eyes. "Why the *hell* don’t you guys just watch the last inning?"
Mark blinked several times. "Karev, did your girlfriend actually just refer to football as having an inning?"
"I’ve tried, dude." Alex held up his hands. "She also thinks that golf balls are pucks."
"It’s the same principle," Callie told him, accepting the bottle of water Addison held out. "A very boring, very dull principle."
"You came to Seattle because of hockey season." Addison sat down and pushed Callie’s chair out with her foot.
"Exactly, but I don’t have to watch it to know that I hate it. If it’s not all blood and gore, who cares?" Callie sat down. "How many people have golfing injuries?"
"She scares me," Mark said to Addison, heaping rice on his plate. "What do the two of you have in common?"
"Jamie Carr." The women answered simultaneously.
"Who is he?" The men questioned as one.
Callie and Addison shared secretive smiles.
Jamie Carr and *his* identity dominated much of the men’s conversation. Callie and Addison simply listened to their threats and posturing, enjoying every second of it.
After helping Addison clean the kitchen, they retired to the bathroom that was in need of wallpaper. It was painted a horrific shade of robin’s egg blue that made Callie grit her teeth with distaste. When she saw the wallpaper that Addison had chosen, she could not hide her disdain. "Jesus Christ, Addison. It’s *paisley*."
"It’s Ralph Lauren!"
"It makes me want to ralph! I feel a Technicolor yawn building." Callie’s mouth dropped open as Addison revealed the border that supposedly matched it. "Paisley and flowers!? I’m gonna hurl."
"It’s gorgeous!" Addison put it against the wall, nodding her head. "We’re doing the master bedroom in all these colors."
"All the colors? Addison, there are colors in that wallpaper that should never, ever see the light of day. It looks like a pair of reversible pants. If you get dressed in this bathroom with that on the walls ... you’ll become schizophrenic. It’s making me have paranoid delusions and I’ve only seen three feet of it." Callie held up her hand to shield her eyes from the view. "I bet every stoner at Woodstock had that same print on a bandana and their underwear."
"It was this or ducks!" Addison rolled the paper back up and hit her friend with it. "Now shut up and held me prep the walls."
"You’re actually going through with this?"
"I am."
Callie groaned. "At least we won’t have to match the seams. It’s so busy you can’t."
"Zip it." Addison read the instructions on the glue she had purchased and nodded. "This shouldn’t be so bad. Have you ever wallpapered?"
"No. Have you?"
"No, but we’re physicians. We cut people open. This is wallpaper. This is glue. It’s not like we need an instruction manual."
An hour later, Addison’s bare feet were stuck to the floor and Callie’s ass was glued to the toilet seat. Literally. Addison had accidentally brushed against the other woman’s backside with her brush, which was overloaded with
glue, and Callie had taken a seat to secure the one and only piece of wallpaper they had managed to get on the wall behind the toilet. To add insult to injury, the side of Callie’s hair had gotten tangled up behind the wallpaper which meant that the glue on her ass had plenty of time to set.
With her head leaning against the wall, Callie glared at Addison. The red head looked ashamed and said, "On the bright side, at least you’re sitting down. I have to stand here."
"We should probably call them before the glue that you have now spilled all over the floor ruins the hardwood."
"You call them."
"I didn’t do it!" Callie replied. "This is humiliating! And if I have to cut my hair in a mullet on one side -"
"Stop being a crybaby!"
"It’s your shiteous wallpaper and your shiteous blue bathroom so *you* call them!"
"I can’t reach my cell phone."
"They’re in the living room! Open your mouth and yell!"
"Mark!" Addison called.
"Not even a dog could hear that! Even if it was sitting at your feet!"
"If it were sitting at my feet it wouldn’t be worried about hearing. It would be worried about the fact that all of its ass hair was about to be ripped off," Addison replied. "Speaking of, we need to go get waxed. I have uncomfortable stubble."
"I’m sure it’s not quite as agonizing as having your head glued to the wall. I’m getting a crick in my neck."
"MARK! HEY, MARK! COME QUICK!" Addison cried at the top of her lungs. "Was that better? If I mention coming he’ll sprint."
"It was so shrill that bats are probably humping the house right now. My ears are ringing."
Addison started to laugh. She laughed so long and so hard that she had to bend at the waist and try to catch her breath. Callie launched into a diatribe that involved mullets and and a litany of broken bone promises which made it ten times worse. Addison realized what about to happen and fought valiantly to prevent it, but in the end ... she peed. She tried to be covert about it, but the fact that her laughter died abruptly and her hands moved in front of her crotch was enough to make Callie risk scalping herself to see for herself.
"You pissed yourself!" Callie screamed with laughter, pointing at the large, spreading wet spot on Addison’s jeans. "Can’t. Breathe. Oh my god! I will never let you live this down! Pee pot! What a pisser! Piss off. Aren’t you a pistol! Hahahaha."
"How long is a football game?" Addison asked, when Callie finally settled down.
"Twelve hours?" Callie stared at her friend’s red face. "But look on the bright side, Addy, you’ve watered your uncomfortable stubble. Don’t pollinate. Urinate!"
"It’s going to be a very long night."
"You smell like Alexandria’s diapers, Wet One."
"A very, very long night."
"Wanna hear a joke? A man has to pee so he walks in a bar -"
Addison put her hands over her ears.
Callie went right on talking.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Alex leaned forward, watching as one of the best moves ever executed on the football field was replayed in slow motion. He felt his jaw drop a little and shook his head. "That was the most amazing game I’ve ever seen."
"How did he *do* that?" Mark asked. "I’ve never seen anyone move like that. Well, except maybe Addison when I’m chasing her. She can do this little twist and -"
"Never tell me, man." Alex glanced down at his watch and said, "Holy shit. I guess it’s a good thing we’re off tomorrow."
Mark got to his feet and stretched. "Those women have been far too quiet. I bet they didn’t bother with the damn wallpaper and are sleeping like babies."
Alex watched as the other man picked up his cell phone. "Are you going to take more pictures? Hand over your man card."
"Addison is at her finest when she’s asleep." Sloan grinned at him. "Come on."
They walked through the bedroom and Mark paused outside the bathroom door. "Is that glue I smell?"
"Dude, did they bathe in it?"
Pushing the door open, Mark’s eyes widened. Addison was lying on her back, her knees bent, sleeping on a towel. He glanced at Callie, who was sleeping soundly against the wall. "It’s the fumes, man!" Mark cried, hurrying toward Addison. He slipped on the slick, but dried glue and busted his ass, swearing the entire way down. The impact seemed to jar the entire house.
Both women woke up at once and Callie rubbed her eyes. "It’s about fucking time!"
Alex carefully walked around Mark, who appeared to be in shock, and opened the window. "What are you doing, Callie? You don’t use this kind of stuff in a closed off room, but oh, that’s right ... you enjoy closing yourself in with deadly smells."
"The only deadly smell in this room is Addison’s stale pee." Callie snapped. "Do you happen to notice that I haven’t moved, Alex?"
"Oh my god." Alex turned his head from side to side. "Is your hair glued to the wall?"
"NO! Tell me that can’t be so!" Callie stared at him. "A little help would be wonderful."
"Why didn’t Addison help you!?" Mark said, pushing himself up.
Addison, who had remained uncharacteristically silent, sat up beside him. "I’ve glued myself to the floor."
"It’s always about Addison!" Callie snapped, then swore as Alex began to work her hair from between the wall and paper. "Ow. Ow. Ow."
"Maybe we should cut it," Alex suggested.
"NO! I refuse to look like a Cuban ‘Joe Dirt’!" Callie cried, her eyes watering from the pain. "I’m kicking her ass as soon as I’m free. The fight is *on*, Addy."
Addison pointed a finger at her. "Why don’t you stick your head up my ass and fight for air!"
Alex laughed. "She’s seen ‘Joe Dirt’, too."
"Don’t encourage her," Callie growled. "I was dreaming about the fucking ‘Brady Bunch’ because this psychedelic and whoreanus wallpaper was the last thing I saw. Marcia. Marcia. Marcia. Jan made a damn wig out of this shit. It was a nightmare."
"Ouch!" Addison cried, pushing Mark’s hand off her ankle. "It’s *attached*. What makes glue less sticky?"
Alex leaned down and picked up the glue container, reading the back label. "Do you have rubbing alcohol?"
Mark reached under the sink and pulled out a full bottle. He opened the lid and started to pour it over Addison’s feet, but she squealed as if he had just announced that they were having sex right then. "I HAVE BLISTERS!" she cried.
"INFANT!" Callie yelled. "That damn alcohol was within reach, Addison! You could have gotten it and ended this nightmare before I developed Scoliosis. I *asked* you what was under the sink! I told you to look and you said we couldn’t MacGyver our way out of this! I am a natural MacGyver!"
"If you were a natural MacGyver then you wouldn’t have let this glue set, baby."
"Shut up, Alex."
Alex pulled her hair free just as Mark poured the alcohol. Addison’s screams would probably have called every orca whale in the vicinity to the bay.
Addison was freed within minutes, thanks to Mark using a butter knife to gently separate her flesh from the floor. Callie, on the other hand, was unable to move from the toilet.
Alex crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at her. "You’ve got two choices. We can cut your pants off or remove the toilet seat and you can ..."
"Wear it home," Mark said, coming back into the bathroom. He took one look at Callie’s face and began to laugh. It was contagious and Alex soon joined him.
"Get the scissors!" Callie told them. "Now!"
Ten minutes later, Callie slipped on a pair of Addison’s sweat pants and her eyes widened when she realized that they actually fit her. That never, in any reality, should have been possible. When she emerged from the bathroom, she glared at Addison, who was soaking her feet in a basin of water. "Owwwwww." Addison whined. "I’m knocking on Heaven’s door so don’t kick me while I’m down."
Callie put her hands on her hips. "Not for nothing, sitting on a toilet seat really hurts your coccyx. My *ass* hurts, Addison. Ass trumps feet."
"I have to *walk* on my feet."
"You *walk* in stilettos every day!" Callie joined her on the bed, nudging her with her shoulder. "Are you really in pain?"
"No."
"I’d feel bad taking the piss out of you if you were really in pain. Oh, that’s right. It should be out of you already." Callie grinned. "I cannot believe you did that!"
"I cannot believe you said bats were humping the house!"
Callie put her hand on Addison’s. "Consider this my apology for making you worry while I was gone. And for almost killing myself and lying to you about it and for making you dance with my Uncle Kick."
Addison put an arm around her. "I’ll forgive you if you come back tomorrow and help me finish the bathroom."
"No. My birthday is in a few days. Do me a favor and hire someone to do that damn job in lieu of a birthday gift for me."
"Fine!" Addy grinned. "But I already got your gift."
"Can I have it early?"
"Nope."
Callie pushed herself to her feet and sighed. "I’m going home. To soak my *ass* in the hot tub."
"See you tomorrow."
"To NOT wallpaper. We’re grilling out. That’s *it*."
*~*~*~*~*~
Callie sank into the hot tub and closed her eyes, letting the powerful jets work the tension in her neck. She actually had developed a painful crick and she doubted she’d be walking fully upright for at least a couple of days. She smiled when she heard Alex walking across the deck and opened her eyes. The steam from the hot tub was rising all around her and when he dropped his towel, she saw that he was as naked as she was. If Monty decided to spy, he would get an eyeful.
Alex had turned off the huge street lights after calling to let the guard know that they wanted privacy. Callie had assured him that his choice of words would bring out the peeping Tom in anyone. As he stepped into the tub, she openly enjoyed the view. He set two bottles of water on the edge and motioned for her to come to him. She slipped across the tub and wrapped her legs around him.
"Are you still feeling hostile?" she asked, kissing water from his neck.
"Is your ass still sore?"
"Very much so."
"I guess that’s decent punishment." He captured her mouth with his. "How the *hell* did the two of you glue yourselves down?"
"Addison! I swear to God she has to be a natural blond. She got glue on my ass and while we were working to put up the first piece of paper, she spilled the entire container of glue, but she kept standing there trying to hold the one we were working on and then when she realized she couldn’t move her feet ... I got tangled under the wallpaper."
"You’re a disaster. A very gorgeous disaster, but you’re a disaster, Callie."
"I prefer interesting to disaster," she replied. "Life with me is never boring, Alex."
"Let’s try to do boring for a while." He pushed her hair back. "Boring can be good, too."
She could see just enough of his face to tell how serious he was. "I can do that."
"If *you* can do that, then pigs are gonna fly and hell is gonna freeze over." He smiled when she splashed his face. "You’re taking tomorrow off, right? You’ve worked every single day for two weeks now and you’re not scheduled so -"
"I was going to volunteer at the clinic. They always need operators for the phone lines."
"They’ll cover it, Gothika. I feel like I haven’t seen you in years."
"You see me every day."
"You’re distracted and busy and tired."
"Fine. I’ll take tomorrow off. We’re supposed to be cooking out with Addison and Mark." She pouted prettily. "No football."
"What!? But the -"
"You feel like you haven’t seen me in years, Alex, so we’re going to be making up for lost time." Raising herself a little, she slid down on his erection. "We’re going to start right now."
He moaned and kissed her, holding her around the waist. "Now is good."
She leaned back a little and said, "Do I have you attention?"
Alex nodded mutely.
"I’m sorry about the past few weeks. For everything that’s happened and for drinking as much as I did. I’m sorry if I made you worry or wonder if you made the right decision by kissing me that day in the hospital. That - that was a perfect kiss," she undulated her hips, "and I’d hate for you to ever regret it."
"That kiss was the best thing I’ve ever done. And I don’t regret *anything* except not doing it sooner." He gripped her hips and took charge, lifting and lowering her.
Callie sighed with contentment. "Everything’s going to be absolutely fine from this day forward."
"Yes, it is."
"Stop talking."
"You stop talking."
"Stopping ... ooooh ... do that again, Jock Strap."
"This?"
"Oh my god."
"You’re a pervert, Elvira."
"Stop talking!"
"I’ll stop if you tell me what you want me to do you."
In the most imaginative ways possible, she told him.
And he covered every request as soon as she uttered them.
*~*~*~*~*~
When the foursome returned to work after enjoying a wonderfully calm day off that offered burnt hamburgers and under cooked French fries, everything in the world felt like it was right. At least to Callie. Her birthday was just a few days away and Cam had called her that morning to detail his flight plans and she felt like she was walking on air when she strolled into the Resident’s locker room. She was the first to arrive so she headed for her locker and changed into her scrubs. She sat down on the bench, which was hidden by a row of lockers, and pulled out a research paper that she had been reading about a new surgical technique.
She wrinkled her nose when she heard Izzie’s annoyingly cheerful morning babble. She half listened as the blond gushed about dancing at Joe’s until the bar closed and rolled her eyes when Meredith asked if George had spent the night with Olivia again. There was no doubt at all in her mind that Olivia was the reason that Izzie’s hatred of her had evaporated. The names that the former model called the nurse were unbelievably horrible. It was sad, in a way, that Izzie didn’t want George, but didn’t want him with anyone else either.
Cristina’s voice interrupted Izzie’s tirade. "So, did you dance with anyone at Joe’s or were you that drunken girl who dances by herself?"
"I danced with people!" Izzie replied. "I’m in my happy moving on place."
"So, you’re finally over Karev?" Yang asked, sounding skeptical. "Your diary said that -"
"I know what my diary said!"
"Then how did this happen?"
"Just because a guy tells you that he’s in love with you ... it doesn’t make it true."
Callie sat up a little straighter. She hoped that the Jedi mind meld that she was sending Cristina would work and she would pursue the topic. She held her breath when Meredith said, "Wait a minute. When did Alex tell you that he loved you?"
"A couple of days before he left with Callie. He kissed me when he found her DNR paperwork in my back pocket and then he told me that he had been madly in love with me when I left him for Denny and that he still falls back in love with me every time the old me comes out."
"Then he doesn’t love you at all anymore. Pod person," Cristina scoffed. "And you kissed him?!"
"He kissed me," Izzie replied. "You know, I didn’t even believe that he was with Callie when the came back. I thought he was trying to make me jealous."
"Did it work?" Meredith asked.
"Did I not hit her with my stethoscope?" Izzie asked. "I still think that he loves her money and the lifestyle she gives him. I mean, she’s got issues. Major iss-ues."
"Isn’t there a saying about not throwing stones when you’re in a glass house?" Cristina said. "He’s crazy about her. Anyone with eyes that are not blinded by jealousy can see that."
"I am in no way, shape, or form jealous of the resident head case."
"That’s because your head case is four billion times worse than hers."
"I was jealous of Alex, Cristina! I thought - I thought with him declaring his feelings *finally* that he’d want to pick up where we left off." Izzie sighed. "I guess not. He won’t talk to me."
"Not wondering why." Cristina shot back. "We’re early. Let’s go raid the snack line.
There was a shuffling of feet and a bench rubbed against the floor, squeaking in protest.
When blissful silence finally fell again ... Callie stood, stone faced and resolved.
Her spine was ramrod straight.
She would not be crying again because of something Izzie Stevens said.
And if Alex Karev had done what Izzie said ... she wouldn’t be crying over him either.
It would just be over.
One lesson had stuck with her.
Never go down the same road twice.
She'd be damned if she would be the third person in a relationship again.
*~*~*~*~*~
Dun dun dun dun duuuuuuuun....
Author: Chelle Storey-Daniel
Rating: Strong R
Pairing: Addison/Mark, Callie/George, Callie/Alex, George/Izzie, Meredith/Derek
Summary: Sometimes it hurts to fall, but if you're lucky someone may catch you. And they may be falling, too.
A/N: I laughed my ass off writing this. I'm not kidding. I literally laughed until I ached. Addison and Callie? They're trouble from the world 'go'. This chapter was FUN.
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty One
Twenty Two
Twenty Three
Twenty Four
Twenty Five
Twenty Six
Twenty Seven
Twenty Eight
Twenty Nine
Thirty
*~*~*~*~*~
The pain is self-inflicted
I know it’s not good for my health
But it’s easier to please the world
Than it is to please myself
All the rest is out of my hands
I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, yeah I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can
- Leann Rimes
*~*~*~*~*~
Callie sat in the corner of the nursery, rocking Alexandria. The baby’s cries had caught her attention as she was passing by so she had gone inside and taken matters into her own hands. Callie was frustrated. Two full weeks had passed and no one had been genetically matched with Ava or her baby. The hotline was still going strong, ringing around the clock, but almost every lead was a dead end. It made no sense. Someone, somewhere had to know who Ava was. Someone had to be looking for her. The baby’s father was out there somewhere.
Callie’s frustration did not rest solely on Ava’s predicament, however. Izzie Stevens was back at work and had decided to take a page from George’s book and kill her with kindness. The first day it was okay. The second day it had gotten grating and by the third day, today, Callie had taken to going the other way when she spotted the blond. And Izzie seemed to be everywhere at once, prompting Callie to wonder aloud if she had a transmogrifier. Alex was the only one who got the joke and he had laughed long and hard before kissing her. It should have been a welcome relief to not have vitriol spewed at her, but everything Stevens said to her felt hollow and she was getting tired of faking a smile while the other woman babbled about the clinic or about how Callie was right about Dr. Gellar.
And then there was Dr. Gellar.
Callie had spent an hour with him that morning for her own evaluation and she had hated every moment of it. They had discussed the fight, talked about Callie’s weight loss at length, then discussed her penchant for running. After laying it all on the line for him, he suggested that perhaps she could benefit from anti-depressants. She had staunchly refused. Alex had told her that his mother was on the same medication that Gellar wanted to push at her and he didn’t need *any* reminders of that lying around. Despite her best efforts to assure the psychiatrist, he had not been swayed and changed their meetings from once per week to twice.
She wondered how much involvement Chief Webber had in that decision.
"Are you spoiling that baby again?" Addison asked, leaning over Callie to peer at the little girl. "You shouldn’t hold an infant while it’s sleeping. She’ll never sleep on her own if you do that."
"She just fell asleep a minute ago." Callie got to her feet and put Alexandria in her cradle. It was uncommon for newborns to stay in the nursery for so long, but Ava had developed a horrific head cold and was terrified that Alexandria would become ill if she came around. Callie pulled the blanket over the baby and watched as Addison worked on another one. The little guy had been valiantly clinging to life for two days. "You ever think about Jamie Carr?"
Addison nodded. "All the time."
"Me too."
"That was one of the hardest cases I’ve ever worked." Addison listened to the deep, even breaths of the baby and smiled. "I’m glad you were with me. It was a perverse way for us to become best friends, but at least we got something positive out of it. Right?"
"Dr. Gellar thinks I need Prozac."
Addison looked at her. "And you don’t?"
"You do?" Callie’s eyes widened a little. "Do you think I need it?"
"I think that if I can avoid seeing you in the shape you were in the night that Alex left you ... I’d be all for it. You scared me that night, Cal. Bad." Addison put her stethoscope around her neck and walked around the incubator. She took Callie’s hand. "As much as I support your decision to do AA, I don’t know that that’s the only help that you need."
"God, you’ve been with Mark *too* long. He thinks I’m certifiable, too."
"I didn’t say that. I don’t think that," Addison replied. "You’re running yourself ragged for this fund raiser. You’re still not eating enough to keep a bird alive and Alex said that you’re so exhausted at night that you fall asleep the second your feet hit the deck of your boat. He’s worried and frankly ... so am I."
The red head pointed at the rocking chair that Callie had vacated. "Sit down for a second. I want to talk to you."
Callie sighed, but complied. Addison pulled another rocking chair next to hers and said, "You don’t always have to be the best at everything. It’s what you do, it’s who you are to over achieve, but if you set your personal bar so high that you have to struggle to reach it, then maybe your expectations are a little too extreme and you should back off yourself a little."
"What are you talking about?"
"You can’t get mad at Alex for this, Callie." Addison warned her with a pointed look. "He mentioned at lunch today, the lunch you missed because you felt like your life would end if you didn’t spend that hour working on the phone in the clinic, that you have become a Stepford Wife. Or, girlfriend. Whatever."
"What!?"
"You wake up at dawn to cook him breakfast, Callie. We don’t cook! We get a bagel and run off to check the surgical boards. You bust your ass all day working and you’re getting around your four day a week schedule by hiding behind the fund raiser so you haven’t had a day off at all. You go home and cook dinner and don’t eat it and then you’re so exhausted that you’re asleep by nine every night," Addison took a deep breath. "Where is *your* time? Time for *you*?"
"I also managed to squeeze in two AA meetings, Addison. That’s my time." Callie leaned her head against the back of the rocker and closed her eyes. "I’m so glad I’m not Chief Resident. Sydney is here seventeen hours a day and I’m here *ten* at the most and everyone freaks out."
"Okay, now you’re going into defensive mode and you don’t need to," Addy said. "I just think that when you push yourself as hard as you’ve been pushing that you’re bound to fall. You’re going to trip over your own good intentions. I don’t want you to fall. I also don’t want you to crash and burn and if the circles under your eyes are any indication ... you’re already there."
"I have a lot on my plate, Addison!"
"And none of it is nutritious." Leaning forward, Addison stopped her from getting up from her seat. "No, you’re not leaving. I’m not finished."
"Did someone set off a roadside bomb in Beirut that you need to blame me for?"
"Passive aggressive is something I speak fluently." Addison smiled at her. "So, I can translate very easily. You’re getting pissed at me for putting all my cards on the table because you know that you don’t have a winning hand. You know that I’m right. Is everything okay with you and Alex?"
"Everything is perfect with Alex. I’m happy. As soon as we find Ava’s family and do this clinic thing and my divorce is final ... my life is going to be a fairy tale." Callie eased back in her seat to indicate that Addison didn’t have to hover over her, but it didn’t work. Her friend pulled her rocking chair around so that they were knee to knee and face to face. "What? Say whatever it is."
"I suggested to Chief Webber that we should designate people to help you out with this fund raiser. He - he thinks that Izzie Stevens should be involved since she funded it to begin with and that Bailey would like to help out. And me. So, stop killing yourself and enjoy the perfect life you have with your boyfriend. Please?"
"Oh, god damn. Now I have to *work* with Stevens? Because that worked out so well last time?"
"She’s my study buddy. Bailey is yours. We all have a meeting this afternoon for you to brief us on what you’ve done and what the plans are. Splitting it four ways will make all the difference, Callie, and if it’s not enough we’ll find more people."
"I guess I should say thank you. I am a little overwhelmed or a lot, depending on my fluctuating mood." Callie crossed her arms over her chest. "But I do not want to hear any of Izzie’s speeches. And if I get even a hint of a whine I’m resigning from this project."
Addison grinned at her. "I thought you two had kissed and made up."
Callie pretended to gag. "I’m no longer vexed with the urge to throttle her, but she still grates on my nerves if I’m around her more than a nanosecond."
"Oh, such strides you’ve made," Addison replied. "So, Prozac? Maybe you should consider something milder, something that you don’t have to take every day. Something just for anxiety. I happen to have been intimate with Xanax. And Klonopin. I think I read somewhere that divorcing women are the most likely to take those two drugs and it definitely helped me."
"No." Callie reiterated firmly. "I have to learn to rely on *me*. Not alcohol and not medication. They’re one and the same. Either one is going to numb things so that I don’t have to deal with it. I’m ready to deal with it. I’m ready to deal with whatever else life can throw at me because I have you, I have Alex, and I have an amazing family so I can’t complain. And I can’t hide."
"And yet ... you’re hiding behind work."
"Could you please stop knowing me as well as Cambyses does?"
"What’s going on with you, Callie?"
"I feel like I traded my Goth card for an Emo card all of the sudden."
Addison wrinkled her nose. "I can *not* translate that. Help me out."
"I need to make a lot of apologies and I suck at it. I really suck at sorry and any form of sorrow whatsoever. When I left for those fifteen days ... you guys didn’t know if I was coming back. Or if I was okay. And that
makes me a bad person. I’ve always been that person." Callie ran a hand through her hair. "I got my first ten speed for my eleventh birthday and I wasn’t supposed to know because it was hidden in the garage. I took it for a ride and then I realized that it was dirty so I’d be punished for it. I spent the night in the woods. The police found me the following morning. My mother was catatonic for days.
"When I was thirteen, my mom wanted me to sing the National Anthem at a baseball game. I didn’t want to do it because my braces would blind people in the sunlight so I called my Godmother and told her that my parents wanted me to come and see her. And I left on a plane that night. When I was sixteen, I had a fake ID, and my mom wanted me to have a fucking girly ass coming out party so I went to Europe and pretended to be a French. Then I went to Australia a while later because I wrecked my dad’s car. It took him close to a month to find me. He didn’t even yell. He just didn’t let go of me for hours.
"I spent the summer of my eighteenth year trying to outrun my dad who was hot on my heels as I backpacked across Mexico trying to blend in the with the natives because I didn’t want to go to college. I wanted to go to flight school." She absently cracked her knuckles. "And it doesn’t matter that they found me or that I came back here on my own. What matters is that I did it to begin with.
"I look at Ava or any number of people who come in here and when we ask if we can call someone, they say no. So many people are completely alone in the world and *I*, who grew up with the silver spoon and relatives all over the place, actually get pissed when I can’t vanish. What do I have to hide from? What do I have to run from? How do I make up for all the sleepless nights that I’ve caused people by not bothering to call and say ‘I’m okay’?"
"By not doing it again," Addison told her. "And I think I’ve already told you that you have to forgive yourself for any mistakes that you’ve made. Don’t hold your feet to the fire just because you screwed up. That’s what people do. That’s why we’re here."
"We’re here to screw up?" Callie raised a brow.
"If there *is* a God, he sits up in Heaven and laughs his ass off at how incomprehensibly stupid we really are. We’re here for his amusement. He keeps it interesting by making us throw caution to the wind and jump headfirst into running away ... or ... choosing to live with a sex monster."
Callie chuckled. "So, Mark hasn’t put away the penis yet, huh?"
"I think the only time it isn’t at attention is when he’s operating."
"Addison, you have my handcuffs. You can cuff him, stuff a sock in his mouth, and get some rest."
"You mean hold him hostage?"
"Turnabout’s fair play. You make it sound like he’s holding you hostage to have multiple orgasms. Which, unless my memory if failing me, you *begged* for."
"We are actively not talking about me." Addison made a face at her. "I better warn you about something."
"Oh god, what? Is Stevens my intern this afternoon for that rotator cuff?"
"No. Your security guard, uhm, Leon, I think. He was treated earlier for severe abdominal pain and Alex was his doctor earlier. The pain meds made him talkative and he told Alex that you left your car running in the garage while you were in it a couple weeks ago and that the smell of it almost killed *him*." Addison watched her with apprehension. "So, what were you doing?"
"I didn’t realize the door closed behind me. There are sensors that can tell when you’ve pulled in and because my father apparently thinks that rapists hide behind every tree out there ... it automatically closes and I didn’t think about it."
"But why were you sitting in the garage at all, Callie?"
"Relief. I was too relieved to move a muscle because Alex’s car was home. Which meant he was home. Which meant that I had to sit there and thank God for a little while."
Addison leaned forward and hugged her. "Tell him that exact same thing and he’ll be just fine."
"Thanks."
"And stop spoiling that baby. She’ll be annoying as hell when Ava takes her home and doesn’t want to hold her all day."
"Okay."
Addy pulled away and beamed at her. "I feel that this conversation has been very productive. My wisdom and advice should at least force you to agree to dinner tonight. You know the guys *have* to watch that damn football game so they can do that and we can hang out."
Callie’s suspicion was written on her features. "And do what?"
"You’re going to help me wallpaper the bathroom." Holding her hands up like a scale, she pretended to weigh something back and forth. "Wit beyond measure or wallpapering. I think you’ll have to help me paint the office, too."
"You started Harry Potter! Finally!"
"Witty though I may be, I’d be sorted into Gryffindor." Addison leaned back in her chair. "I’m brave."
"You’re brave? You’re terrified of your boyfriend’s penis."
"Says the Slytherin!"
Callie gasped. "Why would I be in Slytherin?"
"Because you’re Gothic, you make grown men cry, and you *run*."
"I hate you."
"That’s because I’m in Gryffindor."
"Bitch."
"Parseltongue."
"You *so* read the last book first!"
"No, we watched the movies. I’m on the third book, though."
Callie shook her head. "When do you find time to read between the maulings?"
"Do not laugh."
"I’d never laugh at you."
"Mark hates the television. So, we read the books to each other. One chapter at a time."
Callie cackled gleefully. "That is *so* Joey and Pacey! All you need are a couple of hammocks on Goon Docks and you’d *be* ‘Dawson’s Creek’."
"I may not know Gothic, but I do know that a true Gothic person would probably set you on fire for watching that shit."
"I may not know gynecology, but I do know that I could break your pubic bone."
"Oh, Mark did that this morning."
*~*~*~*~*~
"YOU WERE SITTING IN THE GARAGE WITH THE ENGINE RUNNING! AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THAT YOU WERE *PRAYING*?"
Callie nodded.
They were parked in front of Addison and Mark’s cabin. The Chinese food they had picked up smelled incredible and her stomach rumbled loudly, causing her to look at him pitifully. "I’m *starving*, Alex. And you have yelled at me for ninety minutes. It’s been a very hostile environment in this car *and* at the restaurant. I. Think. I. Get. The. Point."
"That’s a quote from ‘My Cousin Vinny’ and I’ll quote it, too. You think I'm hostile now, wait 'til you see me tonight."
"It is tonight," she replied, pointing out the window. "The moon is full and that’s usually when we have it. You know, at night."
"I MEANT WHEN WE GET HOME!"
"Maybe I won’t go home with you. Maybe I’ll stay here." She smiled when he gripped the steering wheel and glared out the windshield. "Or maybe you can get over it because it really was for Holy reasons. When the spirit moves you ... you have to listen. I was moved, Jock Strap. If I had had an entire pack of communion wafers, I would have eaten them all."
"You are so full of shit that you would bleed brown if I cut you right now."
"But you’re smiling." She leaned across the console and kissed him on the cheek. "My work is done. My very religious work."
"If you had eaten communion wafers, even half of one ... you would spontaneously combust because you’re *evil*."
"That may be moderately true, but my prayer was so monumental that the Opus Dei have started trying to recruit me. I may be canonized or at the very least be able to give the Pope a run for his money."
"I’m thinking that the Pope would burn you at the stake for this conversation alone." Alex opened the door. "But I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt even though to do so goes against everything in my being. If it happens again, though ..."
"You’ll what?" Callie asked, smiling from ear to ear. "Spank me? Chain me to the bed?"
"Toss your Playstation in the bay! With that game in it that you *finally* reached level four million and ten on!"
She narrowed her eyes. "I’d have to kill you for that."
"Oh, well." He shrugged and reached behind the seat, grabbing one of the two bags. Callie carried the other. They joined hands in front of the car and he pulled her against him, kissing her. He pulled back suddenly, "You’ve been in the crab rangoons!"
"You took too long in the service station and I am *hungry*."
"So hostile situations make you eat?"
"I’m a stress eater."
"I’ll keep that in mind."
Addison turned on the porch light and stepped out, her arms crossed. "Are you idiots *ever* going to come inside? My stomach is rubbing my backbone!"
"Impatient." Callie walked past her, handing her the bag she carried. "I asked for extra fortune cookies. Just for you."
The table was already set and Callie greeted Mark, who replied by tapping his watch. Callie rolled her eyes. "Why the *hell* don’t you guys just watch the last inning?"
Mark blinked several times. "Karev, did your girlfriend actually just refer to football as having an inning?"
"I’ve tried, dude." Alex held up his hands. "She also thinks that golf balls are pucks."
"It’s the same principle," Callie told him, accepting the bottle of water Addison held out. "A very boring, very dull principle."
"You came to Seattle because of hockey season." Addison sat down and pushed Callie’s chair out with her foot.
"Exactly, but I don’t have to watch it to know that I hate it. If it’s not all blood and gore, who cares?" Callie sat down. "How many people have golfing injuries?"
"She scares me," Mark said to Addison, heaping rice on his plate. "What do the two of you have in common?"
"Jamie Carr." The women answered simultaneously.
"Who is he?" The men questioned as one.
Callie and Addison shared secretive smiles.
Jamie Carr and *his* identity dominated much of the men’s conversation. Callie and Addison simply listened to their threats and posturing, enjoying every second of it.
After helping Addison clean the kitchen, they retired to the bathroom that was in need of wallpaper. It was painted a horrific shade of robin’s egg blue that made Callie grit her teeth with distaste. When she saw the wallpaper that Addison had chosen, she could not hide her disdain. "Jesus Christ, Addison. It’s *paisley*."
"It’s Ralph Lauren!"
"It makes me want to ralph! I feel a Technicolor yawn building." Callie’s mouth dropped open as Addison revealed the border that supposedly matched it. "Paisley and flowers!? I’m gonna hurl."
"It’s gorgeous!" Addison put it against the wall, nodding her head. "We’re doing the master bedroom in all these colors."
"All the colors? Addison, there are colors in that wallpaper that should never, ever see the light of day. It looks like a pair of reversible pants. If you get dressed in this bathroom with that on the walls ... you’ll become schizophrenic. It’s making me have paranoid delusions and I’ve only seen three feet of it." Callie held up her hand to shield her eyes from the view. "I bet every stoner at Woodstock had that same print on a bandana and their underwear."
"It was this or ducks!" Addison rolled the paper back up and hit her friend with it. "Now shut up and held me prep the walls."
"You’re actually going through with this?"
"I am."
Callie groaned. "At least we won’t have to match the seams. It’s so busy you can’t."
"Zip it." Addison read the instructions on the glue she had purchased and nodded. "This shouldn’t be so bad. Have you ever wallpapered?"
"No. Have you?"
"No, but we’re physicians. We cut people open. This is wallpaper. This is glue. It’s not like we need an instruction manual."
An hour later, Addison’s bare feet were stuck to the floor and Callie’s ass was glued to the toilet seat. Literally. Addison had accidentally brushed against the other woman’s backside with her brush, which was overloaded with
glue, and Callie had taken a seat to secure the one and only piece of wallpaper they had managed to get on the wall behind the toilet. To add insult to injury, the side of Callie’s hair had gotten tangled up behind the wallpaper which meant that the glue on her ass had plenty of time to set.
With her head leaning against the wall, Callie glared at Addison. The red head looked ashamed and said, "On the bright side, at least you’re sitting down. I have to stand here."
"We should probably call them before the glue that you have now spilled all over the floor ruins the hardwood."
"You call them."
"I didn’t do it!" Callie replied. "This is humiliating! And if I have to cut my hair in a mullet on one side -"
"Stop being a crybaby!"
"It’s your shiteous wallpaper and your shiteous blue bathroom so *you* call them!"
"I can’t reach my cell phone."
"They’re in the living room! Open your mouth and yell!"
"Mark!" Addison called.
"Not even a dog could hear that! Even if it was sitting at your feet!"
"If it were sitting at my feet it wouldn’t be worried about hearing. It would be worried about the fact that all of its ass hair was about to be ripped off," Addison replied. "Speaking of, we need to go get waxed. I have uncomfortable stubble."
"I’m sure it’s not quite as agonizing as having your head glued to the wall. I’m getting a crick in my neck."
"MARK! HEY, MARK! COME QUICK!" Addison cried at the top of her lungs. "Was that better? If I mention coming he’ll sprint."
"It was so shrill that bats are probably humping the house right now. My ears are ringing."
Addison started to laugh. She laughed so long and so hard that she had to bend at the waist and try to catch her breath. Callie launched into a diatribe that involved mullets and and a litany of broken bone promises which made it ten times worse. Addison realized what about to happen and fought valiantly to prevent it, but in the end ... she peed. She tried to be covert about it, but the fact that her laughter died abruptly and her hands moved in front of her crotch was enough to make Callie risk scalping herself to see for herself.
"You pissed yourself!" Callie screamed with laughter, pointing at the large, spreading wet spot on Addison’s jeans. "Can’t. Breathe. Oh my god! I will never let you live this down! Pee pot! What a pisser! Piss off. Aren’t you a pistol! Hahahaha."
"How long is a football game?" Addison asked, when Callie finally settled down.
"Twelve hours?" Callie stared at her friend’s red face. "But look on the bright side, Addy, you’ve watered your uncomfortable stubble. Don’t pollinate. Urinate!"
"It’s going to be a very long night."
"You smell like Alexandria’s diapers, Wet One."
"A very, very long night."
"Wanna hear a joke? A man has to pee so he walks in a bar -"
Addison put her hands over her ears.
Callie went right on talking.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Alex leaned forward, watching as one of the best moves ever executed on the football field was replayed in slow motion. He felt his jaw drop a little and shook his head. "That was the most amazing game I’ve ever seen."
"How did he *do* that?" Mark asked. "I’ve never seen anyone move like that. Well, except maybe Addison when I’m chasing her. She can do this little twist and -"
"Never tell me, man." Alex glanced down at his watch and said, "Holy shit. I guess it’s a good thing we’re off tomorrow."
Mark got to his feet and stretched. "Those women have been far too quiet. I bet they didn’t bother with the damn wallpaper and are sleeping like babies."
Alex watched as the other man picked up his cell phone. "Are you going to take more pictures? Hand over your man card."
"Addison is at her finest when she’s asleep." Sloan grinned at him. "Come on."
They walked through the bedroom and Mark paused outside the bathroom door. "Is that glue I smell?"
"Dude, did they bathe in it?"
Pushing the door open, Mark’s eyes widened. Addison was lying on her back, her knees bent, sleeping on a towel. He glanced at Callie, who was sleeping soundly against the wall. "It’s the fumes, man!" Mark cried, hurrying toward Addison. He slipped on the slick, but dried glue and busted his ass, swearing the entire way down. The impact seemed to jar the entire house.
Both women woke up at once and Callie rubbed her eyes. "It’s about fucking time!"
Alex carefully walked around Mark, who appeared to be in shock, and opened the window. "What are you doing, Callie? You don’t use this kind of stuff in a closed off room, but oh, that’s right ... you enjoy closing yourself in with deadly smells."
"The only deadly smell in this room is Addison’s stale pee." Callie snapped. "Do you happen to notice that I haven’t moved, Alex?"
"Oh my god." Alex turned his head from side to side. "Is your hair glued to the wall?"
"NO! Tell me that can’t be so!" Callie stared at him. "A little help would be wonderful."
"Why didn’t Addison help you!?" Mark said, pushing himself up.
Addison, who had remained uncharacteristically silent, sat up beside him. "I’ve glued myself to the floor."
"It’s always about Addison!" Callie snapped, then swore as Alex began to work her hair from between the wall and paper. "Ow. Ow. Ow."
"Maybe we should cut it," Alex suggested.
"NO! I refuse to look like a Cuban ‘Joe Dirt’!" Callie cried, her eyes watering from the pain. "I’m kicking her ass as soon as I’m free. The fight is *on*, Addy."
Addison pointed a finger at her. "Why don’t you stick your head up my ass and fight for air!"
Alex laughed. "She’s seen ‘Joe Dirt’, too."
"Don’t encourage her," Callie growled. "I was dreaming about the fucking ‘Brady Bunch’ because this psychedelic and whoreanus wallpaper was the last thing I saw. Marcia. Marcia. Marcia. Jan made a damn wig out of this shit. It was a nightmare."
"Ouch!" Addison cried, pushing Mark’s hand off her ankle. "It’s *attached*. What makes glue less sticky?"
Alex leaned down and picked up the glue container, reading the back label. "Do you have rubbing alcohol?"
Mark reached under the sink and pulled out a full bottle. He opened the lid and started to pour it over Addison’s feet, but she squealed as if he had just announced that they were having sex right then. "I HAVE BLISTERS!" she cried.
"INFANT!" Callie yelled. "That damn alcohol was within reach, Addison! You could have gotten it and ended this nightmare before I developed Scoliosis. I *asked* you what was under the sink! I told you to look and you said we couldn’t MacGyver our way out of this! I am a natural MacGyver!"
"If you were a natural MacGyver then you wouldn’t have let this glue set, baby."
"Shut up, Alex."
Alex pulled her hair free just as Mark poured the alcohol. Addison’s screams would probably have called every orca whale in the vicinity to the bay.
Addison was freed within minutes, thanks to Mark using a butter knife to gently separate her flesh from the floor. Callie, on the other hand, was unable to move from the toilet.
Alex crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at her. "You’ve got two choices. We can cut your pants off or remove the toilet seat and you can ..."
"Wear it home," Mark said, coming back into the bathroom. He took one look at Callie’s face and began to laugh. It was contagious and Alex soon joined him.
"Get the scissors!" Callie told them. "Now!"
Ten minutes later, Callie slipped on a pair of Addison’s sweat pants and her eyes widened when she realized that they actually fit her. That never, in any reality, should have been possible. When she emerged from the bathroom, she glared at Addison, who was soaking her feet in a basin of water. "Owwwwww." Addison whined. "I’m knocking on Heaven’s door so don’t kick me while I’m down."
Callie put her hands on her hips. "Not for nothing, sitting on a toilet seat really hurts your coccyx. My *ass* hurts, Addison. Ass trumps feet."
"I have to *walk* on my feet."
"You *walk* in stilettos every day!" Callie joined her on the bed, nudging her with her shoulder. "Are you really in pain?"
"No."
"I’d feel bad taking the piss out of you if you were really in pain. Oh, that’s right. It should be out of you already." Callie grinned. "I cannot believe you did that!"
"I cannot believe you said bats were humping the house!"
Callie put her hand on Addison’s. "Consider this my apology for making you worry while I was gone. And for almost killing myself and lying to you about it and for making you dance with my Uncle Kick."
Addison put an arm around her. "I’ll forgive you if you come back tomorrow and help me finish the bathroom."
"No. My birthday is in a few days. Do me a favor and hire someone to do that damn job in lieu of a birthday gift for me."
"Fine!" Addy grinned. "But I already got your gift."
"Can I have it early?"
"Nope."
Callie pushed herself to her feet and sighed. "I’m going home. To soak my *ass* in the hot tub."
"See you tomorrow."
"To NOT wallpaper. We’re grilling out. That’s *it*."
*~*~*~*~*~
Callie sank into the hot tub and closed her eyes, letting the powerful jets work the tension in her neck. She actually had developed a painful crick and she doubted she’d be walking fully upright for at least a couple of days. She smiled when she heard Alex walking across the deck and opened her eyes. The steam from the hot tub was rising all around her and when he dropped his towel, she saw that he was as naked as she was. If Monty decided to spy, he would get an eyeful.
Alex had turned off the huge street lights after calling to let the guard know that they wanted privacy. Callie had assured him that his choice of words would bring out the peeping Tom in anyone. As he stepped into the tub, she openly enjoyed the view. He set two bottles of water on the edge and motioned for her to come to him. She slipped across the tub and wrapped her legs around him.
"Are you still feeling hostile?" she asked, kissing water from his neck.
"Is your ass still sore?"
"Very much so."
"I guess that’s decent punishment." He captured her mouth with his. "How the *hell* did the two of you glue yourselves down?"
"Addison! I swear to God she has to be a natural blond. She got glue on my ass and while we were working to put up the first piece of paper, she spilled the entire container of glue, but she kept standing there trying to hold the one we were working on and then when she realized she couldn’t move her feet ... I got tangled under the wallpaper."
"You’re a disaster. A very gorgeous disaster, but you’re a disaster, Callie."
"I prefer interesting to disaster," she replied. "Life with me is never boring, Alex."
"Let’s try to do boring for a while." He pushed her hair back. "Boring can be good, too."
She could see just enough of his face to tell how serious he was. "I can do that."
"If *you* can do that, then pigs are gonna fly and hell is gonna freeze over." He smiled when she splashed his face. "You’re taking tomorrow off, right? You’ve worked every single day for two weeks now and you’re not scheduled so -"
"I was going to volunteer at the clinic. They always need operators for the phone lines."
"They’ll cover it, Gothika. I feel like I haven’t seen you in years."
"You see me every day."
"You’re distracted and busy and tired."
"Fine. I’ll take tomorrow off. We’re supposed to be cooking out with Addison and Mark." She pouted prettily. "No football."
"What!? But the -"
"You feel like you haven’t seen me in years, Alex, so we’re going to be making up for lost time." Raising herself a little, she slid down on his erection. "We’re going to start right now."
He moaned and kissed her, holding her around the waist. "Now is good."
She leaned back a little and said, "Do I have you attention?"
Alex nodded mutely.
"I’m sorry about the past few weeks. For everything that’s happened and for drinking as much as I did. I’m sorry if I made you worry or wonder if you made the right decision by kissing me that day in the hospital. That - that was a perfect kiss," she undulated her hips, "and I’d hate for you to ever regret it."
"That kiss was the best thing I’ve ever done. And I don’t regret *anything* except not doing it sooner." He gripped her hips and took charge, lifting and lowering her.
Callie sighed with contentment. "Everything’s going to be absolutely fine from this day forward."
"Yes, it is."
"Stop talking."
"You stop talking."
"Stopping ... ooooh ... do that again, Jock Strap."
"This?"
"Oh my god."
"You’re a pervert, Elvira."
"Stop talking!"
"I’ll stop if you tell me what you want me to do you."
In the most imaginative ways possible, she told him.
And he covered every request as soon as she uttered them.
*~*~*~*~*~
When the foursome returned to work after enjoying a wonderfully calm day off that offered burnt hamburgers and under cooked French fries, everything in the world felt like it was right. At least to Callie. Her birthday was just a few days away and Cam had called her that morning to detail his flight plans and she felt like she was walking on air when she strolled into the Resident’s locker room. She was the first to arrive so she headed for her locker and changed into her scrubs. She sat down on the bench, which was hidden by a row of lockers, and pulled out a research paper that she had been reading about a new surgical technique.
She wrinkled her nose when she heard Izzie’s annoyingly cheerful morning babble. She half listened as the blond gushed about dancing at Joe’s until the bar closed and rolled her eyes when Meredith asked if George had spent the night with Olivia again. There was no doubt at all in her mind that Olivia was the reason that Izzie’s hatred of her had evaporated. The names that the former model called the nurse were unbelievably horrible. It was sad, in a way, that Izzie didn’t want George, but didn’t want him with anyone else either.
Cristina’s voice interrupted Izzie’s tirade. "So, did you dance with anyone at Joe’s or were you that drunken girl who dances by herself?"
"I danced with people!" Izzie replied. "I’m in my happy moving on place."
"So, you’re finally over Karev?" Yang asked, sounding skeptical. "Your diary said that -"
"I know what my diary said!"
"Then how did this happen?"
"Just because a guy tells you that he’s in love with you ... it doesn’t make it true."
Callie sat up a little straighter. She hoped that the Jedi mind meld that she was sending Cristina would work and she would pursue the topic. She held her breath when Meredith said, "Wait a minute. When did Alex tell you that he loved you?"
"A couple of days before he left with Callie. He kissed me when he found her DNR paperwork in my back pocket and then he told me that he had been madly in love with me when I left him for Denny and that he still falls back in love with me every time the old me comes out."
"Then he doesn’t love you at all anymore. Pod person," Cristina scoffed. "And you kissed him?!"
"He kissed me," Izzie replied. "You know, I didn’t even believe that he was with Callie when the came back. I thought he was trying to make me jealous."
"Did it work?" Meredith asked.
"Did I not hit her with my stethoscope?" Izzie asked. "I still think that he loves her money and the lifestyle she gives him. I mean, she’s got issues. Major iss-ues."
"Isn’t there a saying about not throwing stones when you’re in a glass house?" Cristina said. "He’s crazy about her. Anyone with eyes that are not blinded by jealousy can see that."
"I am in no way, shape, or form jealous of the resident head case."
"That’s because your head case is four billion times worse than hers."
"I was jealous of Alex, Cristina! I thought - I thought with him declaring his feelings *finally* that he’d want to pick up where we left off." Izzie sighed. "I guess not. He won’t talk to me."
"Not wondering why." Cristina shot back. "We’re early. Let’s go raid the snack line.
There was a shuffling of feet and a bench rubbed against the floor, squeaking in protest.
When blissful silence finally fell again ... Callie stood, stone faced and resolved.
Her spine was ramrod straight.
She would not be crying again because of something Izzie Stevens said.
And if Alex Karev had done what Izzie said ... she wouldn’t be crying over him either.
It would just be over.
One lesson had stuck with her.
Never go down the same road twice.
She'd be damned if she would be the third person in a relationship again.
*~*~*~*~*~
Dun dun dun dun duuuuuuuun....