Make This Go On Forever
Title: Make This Go On Forever (chapter 8)
Author:
callalily_love
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't own them.
Summary: Developing relationship of Maddison. Mostly lighthearted fluff this chapter. Previous chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Notes: This might be the last update for a little while. I’m trying not to go too AU, so I’m interested in finding out more about this whole “I didn’t want a baby with you” thing. Plus I’ve been in a weird mood lately because if Shonda royally screws up Maddison I will be pissed and feel discouraged from continuing this story, so, yeah although I have to admit Addison/Alex is growing on me, so at least I’ll be able to tolerate it. Enjoy.
How We Operate
“Things do not change; we change.”
Addison can’t quite put a word on what living with him is like. It’s just…comfortable. She’s content with what they are and what they’re doing. With each passing day, the guilt fades more and more behind her. Mark makes her happy. He makes her laugh, he makes her smile, and he makes her feel important.
“Bone dry cappuccino.” He hands a wad of cash to the woman working the coffee cart. “Make it a double.”
He glances over at Addison, who after debating, decides on a vanilla latte.
“Ew.”
“What?”
“You’re drinking steamed milk.”
“Well, you’re basically drinking milk foam. What’s the difference?”
“Lattes are weak.”
“So?”
“They suck.”
“You…suck.”
He smiles at her lack of wit. “That’s not what you told me last night.”
“We’re in the hospital, Mark.” She spits through gritted teeth.
“So then maybe,” he grabs both their drinks, “we should continue this elsewhere. Perhaps in an on-call room?”
“We’re going to have a conversation in an on-call room?”
“Well, you can call it a ‘conversation’ if you like.” He hands Addison her drink and they start off towards the elevator. “I usually just call it sex.”
“Mark.” She sighs.
“It’s been two weeks, Addie. We’ve been together two weeks, and Derek’s been gone for three. This place is full doctors, you know.”
“Is it really, Mark? I always thought Bellevue was full of bartenders.”
He rolls his eyes at her sarcasm. “What I’m saying is people are going to figure it out. No one in this building is stupid. Actually, I take that back. I’m doing breast reconstruction on a woman today, who complains constantly, and I swear her IQ must be below - ”
“Are you always this nice to your patients?”
“It’s not like I’m going to tell her she’s stupid to her face. Although bigger boobs might not help her fight off the dumb blonde associations.”
“Well, she signed up for the pain.” She presses the button outside the elevator, waiting for it to open.
“Meaning?”
“I’ve got a two week old down in NICU right now with Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia.” She grimaces, thinking about little Nathan Welsh and the chronic lung disease that has him hooked up to a ventilator, fighting for his life.
He smiles at her. “From a doctors standpoint, I have to tell you that you’re getting attached.” The elevator doors open and they step in.
She crosses her arms. “I can’t help it.”
“I know.” He shrugs and presses the buttons for their respective floors. “Maybe that’s why my bedside manner is below par. What’s the point in getting attached?”
“Most of the patients you work with aren’t struggling to live. The woman you’re giving breast implants to asked for any pain that follows her surgery. Nate certainly didn’t ask for underdeveloped lungs.”
He nods. “Of course not.”
“I just don’t get it. Why can’t people be happy with what they’ve got? Why change?”
“Because not all women have a rack like yours.”
“Mark.” She sighs loudly. The doors open for her floor.
“Now, that’s what you said last night.”
~*~*~*~*~
“Hi, Nathan.” She gently coos at the end of a long shift. She reaches in to stroke his arm, glancing at the tube inserted into his trachea. “When your lungs get a little bit stronger you can come off the ventilator, okay? Then when you get really healthy, you can go home. Your mommy and daddy want you get better. They went down to the cafeteria to get something to eat, but they’re going to come right back. I’m leaving for the day, but don’t worry, I’m going to come back tomorrow and - ” She stops when she hears footsteps behind her.
She takes her hand out and spins around to see Mark, with a slight smile on his face.
“Hey.” She says, a little self-conscious at being caught spending more time than necessary with a patient, even though he’s an arguably cute one.
He doesn’t find anything uncomfortable about her bonding affection though. It’s kind of hard to chastise when moments ago he was watching her gently coo and smile at a baby, with her red curls piled on top of her head.
“Hey.” Mark murmurs softly, stepping forward to the incubator. She raises an eyebrow in surprise, and he stares at her curiously. “What?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you on this floor before.” She smiles.
“Well, plastic surgery doesn’t cross too often with obstetrics.” He shrugs. “Plus, things on this floor are usually too pink and squishy for my liking.”
“My scrubs are pink. Well, salmon, actually, but it’s still in the pink family.” She pouts. “You don’t like them?”
“No, I like your scrubs.” He smirks. “But not as much as I like taking them off.”
She tries to suppress a giggle. “There’s something not right about hitting on me in a room full of innocent little babies.”
He shrugs, waving off the subject, because he’s certain that the matter of undressing her will probably come up again when they get home. “So is this the little guy you’ve been talking about?”
She smiles. “Yes, this is Nathan.”
“Hey, Nathan.” He slowly, if rather tentatively, reaches a hand in to squeeze the infant’s. “He’s got a good grip.” He murmurs when Nathan wraps his little fingers around his pointer finger.
“He’s a fighter.” She beams proudly. “And a cutie.”
Mark grins, and strokes the back of Nathan’s hand with his thumb. “Hey, little guy. Get better for Addison, alright? I know her heels are really loud, and it’s probably annoying to have to listen to them, but she really wants you to get healthy.”
He continues talking in a soft, caring voice, and she can probably count on one hand the number of times he’s sounded like this. She doubts anyone else besides her has heard this voice, seen this side of Mark. It adorable though, and it makes her smile.
“When you get home - ” he stops when he hears her quietly giggling. “What?”
“Nothing.” She laughs. “You’re just really cute.”
He smiles, and removes his hand. “Cuter than Nathan?”
“Definitely not.” She laughs. He wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. She looks around nervously, but when she doesn’t see anyone in sight, she relaxes in his embrace.
“I think I could convince you otherwise.” He grins knowingly.
“Oh?” She smiles, and he lightly presses his lips against hers. “And how do you plan on doing that?”
“Well, I’d rather not say what I’m thinking in front of Nathan, but what I’m thinking definitely involves a bed and no scrubs.”
She laughs, and takes another glance at Nathan. “Well, as good as your offer sounds, Nathan still has you beat.”
“Seriously?”
“Just look at him, Mark.” She wrinkles her nose. “He’s got the biggest blue eyes, and those little bow lips - ”
“I have blue eyes.” He interrupts. “And as far as I can recall, you like my lips.”
She laughs. “I do.”
He smiles in satisfaction. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah.” She glances back at Nathan, and reaches in to give his hand a gentle squeeze. “Hang in there buddy.”
“Bye Nathan.” Mark echoes as they leave the NICU.
“You’re good with babies.” She observes as they make their way towards the elevator.
“What do you mean?”
“Nathan liked you, I could just tell. And you were talking to him in a soothing voice, and - ” she glances over at him, “ - it was just sweet, that’s all.”
He grins, almost smugly, as they reach the elevator. “I am good with babies.”
“And yet you don’t like setting foot on this floor?”
“Nope,” He insists as they step into the elevator to begin their descent, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t like babies, because I do.”
“Seriously?”
“It’s that hard to believe?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I mean, you’re great with my nieces and nephews, namely getting them in and out of trouble, but I’ve never honestly pictured you as a baby person.”
“I think I could be.” He leans back against the wall, keeping his eyes down. “If I was with the right person and all.”
She swallows uncomfortably, and opts to change the subject. “Well, you’re surprisingly good with kids, and my nephews certainly think you’re fun.”
“I’m fun for women as well.”
She smiles. “Are you really?”
“Yes.” He smirks. “Particularly for hot redheads in salmon scrubs.”
“And loud heels?”
“And loud heels.” He confirms as the doors open and they step out.
“I’ll meet you at the car.” She nods her head in the direction of the locker room. As comfy as scrubs are, she’s never been one to not make a fashion statement in the materialistic couture that consists of her wardrobe.
He tries to stifle a groan. “Please don’t take all day.”
“I don’t - ”
“You always do, Addie.” He insists.
She laughs. “You’re cute when you pout.”
“Cuter than a certain bow-lipped baby?”
“Quite possibly.”
“So if I’m not taking your scrubs off, I’m at least taking some of your other clothes off tonight, right?”
She rolls her eyes. “Do you have to make everything sexual?”
“Only for you.” He taps her on the nose. “Besides, I’m a lot of talk. You’re the one with the excessive sexual requests.”
“They are not excessive.” She hisses in a low voice. “You’re the one - ”
“Hey don’t get mad.” He gently nudges her shoulder in the direction of the locker room. “It’s not like I’m complaining or anything.”
~*~*~*~*~
“I, uh, got in contact with a lawyer about drawing up divorce papers.” She looks up uneasily from her bowl of cereal two mornings later. “Just so you know.”
“Okay.” He offers a small smile. She returns to her Cheerios, but he interrupts, because he has to ask, “Addison?”
“Yeah?”
“Have you talked to him at all lately? I mean, have you gotten a hold of him?”
She puts down her spoon and sighs. “I called twice yesterday. I only got his voicemail.” She lowers her eyes, concentrating on the perfect little grain circles floating on top of the layer of milk. “And you know I’ve called before that. He’s not answering, and he won’t return my calls.”
“You’re still leaving messages, right?”
“Yes.” She sets her jaw a little firmer, slightly irritated by his question. “And there’s not much beyond that I can do. He knows I’m trying to contact him, and it’s not like I have any idea where he is.”
“But it’s not like he fell off the face of the earth.”
“I realize that.” She snaps. “But clearly he’s nowhere in the city, so there’s not a whole lot I can do about it.”
“I know.” He leans forward a bit, propping his elbows up on the kitchen table. “So, have you told him?”
“Told him what?” She crosses her arms around her chest. “Have you not been listening? I haven’t talked to him.”
“I mean in your messages. Have you told him about us?” He asks quietly.
She sighs and looks away. “No.”
“Well, are you going to?”
“I don’t know.” She snarls. She notices when he opens and closes his mouth, clearly trying to say something that will probably make her angrier. “What?”
“It’s just…you should tell him, Addie.” He waits until she looks up and meets his eyes. “He deserves to know.”
“And you think if I tell him that I’m now sleeping with his best friend on a regular basis he’ll what, feel more inclined to call me back?”
“I just think - ”
“Because I don’t think that would go over very well.”
“But he deserves to know.” Mark sighs in frustration. “He’s my best friend, and - ”
“Well, he’s my best friend too.” She argues. “And telling him we’re together certainly won’t get me a call back.”
He stares at her, and she glares defiantly back, each willing the other to break eye contact first. Finally, she shifts her eyes, concentrating on a spot on the floor.
“So when you get the divorce papers you’ll sign them?” He asks after a few minutes on tension-filled silence.
She fleetingly looks back at him. “Mark - ”
“Addison.” He snaps, taken aback. “I believe that’s the part where you say yes.”
She sighs. “My signature won’t mean anything if his isn’t there as well.”
He purses his lips together, and his narrowed eyes speak the unspoken words: but it means something to me, plus the fact that you’re still wearing your wedding rings.
“One day at a time.” She murmurs.
“What?”
“When I first decided to move in with you - you said we would take it one day at a time.” She lifts her chin up. “There’s not much I can do today, besides trying to call him and waiting for my lawyer to contact me about the papers. So can we just take it one day at a time? Please?”
“Okay.” He sighs. “One day at a time.”
“Thank you.” She whispers. She reaches for his finished bowl of cereal, and takes the remains of their breakfast to the sink. She carefully washes both bowls.
“I’m going in a little earlier today.” She informs him. “I wanted to check on Nathan before the interns start rounding.”
“Okay.” He offers a smile, deciding to put the dispute behind them.
She walks over to him and leans down, placing her hands on either side of the top of the chair. He smiles, and grabs the top of her shirt, tugging her closer. She kisses him softly. He threads his fingers through her hair, earning a quiet moan from her. She tries to pull away, but the hand that isn’t occupied with her hair is splayed against the back of her neck, keeping her there.
When he finally pulls back for air, she lets go of the chair and takes a step back. She runs her fingertips over her lips, smiling at the way they’re still tingling.
“I’m going to get a hot chocolate at the cart.” She walks to the counter and picks up her purse. “You want me to get you a bone dry cappuccino?”
“Yeah.” He grins.
She makes her way out of the apartment. She takes out her cell phone as her heels click down the hall. She dials an all too familiar number, and groans when it goes straight to voicemail.
“Hi Derek, it’s me. Look, I know you probably hate me. I get it, okay? But just call back. Obviously you’re not anywhere in the city, so it’s not like you actually have to see me in person. We need to talk about what happened, and more importantly, about us. I know you said we’re not ‘Derek and Addison’ anymore, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re still married. A lot of things have changed, and maybe we’ve both changed too, but you can’t just ignore this. I’m still your wife, even if we’re separated. Maybe you could tell me where you are, and I’ll be there, wherever it is. So, please call me back.” She takes a deep breath, trying to prevent her voice from cracking. “And I know I’ve said it in the dozens of other messages I’ve left you, but Derek…I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”
She flips her phone closed, and shakes her head in frustration.
A few seconds later, her phone starts to vibrate. It makes her palms sweat and her heart rate speed up as she glances down at the called ID. She smiles, a mixture of relief and disappointment, and flicks it open.
“Yes?”
“That bone dry cappuccino? Can you - ”
“Yeah, I’ll make it a double.” She smirks.
He chuckles. “You know me too well.”
“That’s because as far as coffee goes for you, nothing changes. You order the same thing every time.”
“Well, it’s like you said about plastics and that people should be happy with what they’ve got. Why try and change something when you love what you already have?”
“That’s true, I guess.” She murmurs. She chooses to ignore the voice in the back of her head, the one that’s vaguely considering the idea he might not be talking just about beverages.
“Addie?”
“Yes?”
“I - well, just have a good day.”
She giggles. “I’m going to see you in like an hour.”
“Well, then have a good day until I get to see you again.”
“I will.” She smiles. “You too, Mark.”
“And Addie?”
“Yeah?”
“Just…say hi to Nate for me, okay?”
“Sure, I’ll tell him for you. Alright, well - ”
“And Addie?”
She laughs. “And Mark?”
“I - well, nothing, just have a nice day.”
“I will.”
“Okay, bye.”
“Bye.” She closes her phone, and opts to put it on silent. Aside from the fact that her husband won’t call her back, she likes the way things are. They’re comfortable, and she likes where they are at this point: friends who share take-out food, order coffee for one another, discuss their medical cases, play off each other with snarky retorts; lovers who have mind-blowing sex, care about the other one’s feelings, and wake up aside one another.
We function well, she decides. So far, we’re good together.
Here’s to hoping things don’t change.