I don't know 5/?
Title: I don't know 5/?
Author: lysangelle
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG-13
Spoiler alert: Post 7x07 "That's me trying". If you didn't see it and prefer to stay spoiler free, you shouldn't read this as some hints to it and following episodes are bound to show up in the story. But I'll miss you
Summary: Chapter 5. Callie and Arizona are trying to reconnect despite the distance. The girls get to the next step in their reconciliation attempt…
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: I know some of you really liked the mail exchange format but I felt I exhausted that and needed to go forward. I hope you'll still like the story and where it's heading.
Big thanks to loveaz for her insights on this story; you got me out of a couple of traps in there my friend, thank you.
A/N: To avoid weighing down your reading by adding constant 'this one said this', 'the other answered that', I'm formatting the story in the hope 'who says what' will be more obvious.
(I'll just have to be careful to check the auto formatting option on some of the sites!)
Arizona: "Normal"
Callie: "Italics"
---------------------
Chapter 5
To: ArizonaAwesomeRobbins@g.mail.com
From: BadassTorres@hotmail.com
Subject:
Call me
-------------------------
Arizona took a deep shaky breath. The mail that was waiting for her when she finally headed to her temporary home, very late that night, left her breathless.
She knew opening the deepest corners of her heart to Callie had been the right thing to do, and doing it with mails had been easier. But now that everything was in the open, talking to her was making her nervous.
Checking the timestamp on the mail, she realized Callie had sent it less than an hour ago. The temptation to hear the voice she loved so deeply was strong but her nerves were having the best of her at that time. She paced up and down the room for a few minutes, taking deep breaths until the need to hear her love got the best of her.
Walking to her laptop's case she dug out a small device that she plugged into the USB port of her computer. The device was another of Nerdy Callie's findings. Arizona smiled as she remembered how excited Callie had been when she brought it home, saying that little thing was going to allow them to call all their friends and family in the States for free.
Luckily, it had been packed in Arizona's laptop's case and not Callie's.
The blonde quickly hooked up the phone handset to the device and having a last attack of nerves, put it down on the desk's top. She rubbed her damp hands on her thighs and grabbed the handset again, entering the memorized number on the program's numeric keypad before she could change her mind.
-----------------------
Callie turned in bed until she faced the nightstand and be able to grab her iPhone. The unknown number on the screen threw her out and she answered hesitantly.
"Hello?"
"H… Hi."
"Arizona?"
The paeds surgeon smiled tenderly at the childish hesitant voice that was calling her name, her nervousness evaporating as she heard that her love was just as nervous.
"Yeah, it's me."
"Thank you for calling. I wasn't sure you would."
"Well to be honest with you, I was so nervous that I almost didn't."
"What made you at the end?"
"I couldn't spend another day without hearing your voice again."
The admission easily coming from Arizona made Callie's throat tighten. But suddenly a burst of pain and anger exploded in her chest and she had to ask again.
"Why, Arizona? Why did you leave me?"
The blue eyes of the blonde filled up with fresh tears as she felt again how badly she hurt the woman she loved.
"I had to! I protect the things I love. I did what I thought was best for you. What I thought would make you happier in the ling run."
"Well you can stop trying to protect me; I'm a grown woman! Especially if protecting me means breaking up with me!"
"I…I'm sorry, Calliope."
The remorse and pain in the sweet voice made Callie's anger disappear instantly.
"Baby, I'm not mad. It's just that I wish you'd stopped making decisions like that for me. I can decide what I want for myself. And what I want is to be with you. In Malawi or in Seattle. With or without children. Just as long as I'm with you. Understood?"
"Yes ma'am. Understood."
"Good."
Arizona sighed in relief, hearing those words directly from the beautiful mouth of her girlfriend meant the world to her at this time. She did have another point to clear up though and she plucked up the courage to address it.
"Callie, I understand that you're upset and hurt because I messed up, I admit it; I know I did. But I've been hurting too, and I don't mean only because of our break-up. You need to understand that if we want this relationship to work, there are a few things that need to change. Like your friendship with Mark."
"Arizona, nothing will ever happen again with Mark. He's like a brother to me now. He's just a great friend to me."
"I know! I do know that. But I need to explain to you why I have so much trouble with him."
"What!? You mean it wasn't only because he stares at your boobs?"
Arizona laughed at the fake offended tone Callie used to tease her.
"Nooooo. Even if I still say you're the only one I want staring at my boobs.
No. The truth is I have trouble sharing you with him."
"Baby, you're not sharing me with him. I'm all yours."
'That's the problem, Calliope. I do have to share you with him but you don't see it. I'm glad you have such a great friend and I understand you're dedicated to that friendship but sometimes it gets out of bounds. I mean allowing him to sleep in our bed? Seriously? Or having him burst into our bedroom when we're in bed. And that's only a couple of things among a lot more of them. It's just too much, Callie. It's way out of my comfort zone.'
"It sounds like you feel that I'm favoring my friendship with Mark over our relationship."
The brunette sounded quite put-out and Arizona found that she wanted to make her see her own point of view very badly.
"Well yeah, in a way I do… At times. I don't think you notice it but sometimes you put your friendship with him before our relationship. It sure doesn't help with my insecurities. You have to put yourselves in my shoes, Calliope. How would you feel if I had an ex-girlfriend, who I was still very close to, sleep in bed with us? And it's just the most obvious example."
"Oh…"
"Yeah…And when I finally admitted I didn't like him; you expected me, even asked me, to make an effort to try and learn to like him. You didn't even consider asking Mark to try and change some of his ways, did you?"
"Hum… No. No, I didn't. I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot, sometimes…When I look at it that way…"
"Callie… We all are idiots at times. But do you think maybe you could try to look at it that way more often? For my sake? For the sake of our couple? Do you think you could do that?"
"What about going one step further and just set some rules when it comes to Mark's interferences? Set some boundaries, you know…?"
Arizona's smile was blinding as the words registered with her tired brain. Callie could hear the smile in her voice as she asked;
"You mean things like you not gloating when Mark walk in on us in bed? Or hinting at our sex life in his presence? Or not finding it funny when he stumbles on me while I'm naked?"
"Hum, yeah. That too. But I can't help it if I'm damn proud of how hot my girlfriend is and want him to know it! But it won't happen again. Promise. So? Boundaries setting?"
"It would be perfect, Calliope, just perfect."
"And what about we make a deal and just promise that, from now on, we'll be totally honest with each other and we'll talk things through when one of us has a problem with something?"
"No more avoiding contest, huh?"
"Nope, we really need to stop those."
"You have a deal, Dr Torres."
"Good."
An easy, happy silence settled between the two relieved women. They both were just satisfied to listen to the other's breathing for a while.
It was Callie who broke the silence, unable to hold in the words she wanted to say any longer.
"I love you."
"You do?"
"I do."
"I love you too."
Arizona felt tears form in her eyes. At times, when her doubts were rising, she often thought that Callie never seemed to be the first one to say those words. The blonde always tried to reason with herself, to tell herself she must be wrong, that she just couldn't pinpoint those times when Callie actually did initiated the exchange. But it was staying a sore point. Hearing Callie start the replay of their first exchange of I love yous meant a lot to her at this minute.
"Arizona? You're still there?"
"Yes… yes, I'm here."
Reassured, Callie allowed another comfortable silence to stretch; unknowingly her thoughts had taken the same path than her lover's.
"Do you remember that night?"
The blonde woman gave a soft, tender laugh. She couldn't forget the night that changed her life forever even if she was living to be a hundred years old.
"How could I forget that night, Calliope?"
"I wish we could replay the rest of that night too."
Arizona laughed again, more heartedly this time as a blush blossomed on her pale cheeks as she thought back to that amazing night.
"You just want to get me naked and writhing under you again."
"Well yeah, it's part of the plan!"
The women laughed together for a few seconds before Callie started talking again.
"I miss you."
"I miss you too, baby."
"I meant; I miss you, even fully clothed."
Arizona burst out laughing, her girlfriend was just too cute sometimes.
"I know what you meant, Calliope. And I meant the same thing."
After another short silence the blonde hesitantly spoke again.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure. You can ask me anything, it's our new deal, remember?"
"Am I your girlfriend?"
It was Callie's turn to laugh.
"No, Arizona. You're not my girlfriend."
The tall brunette heard the sharp breath intake at the other end of the line and rushed to explain.
"You're not my girlfriend, Arizona. You're my lover. And when you'll get your cute butt back here, you'll be my live-in lover."
Arizona sighed in relief.
"Yes ma'am."
"See? You're getting the hang of it."
"Don't push it, Torres."
Callie laughed until a thought crossed her mind.
"But what about long distance relationships? You said you didn't believe in them."
"I changed my mind. I changed my mind about a lot of things since you are in my life, Calliope Torres. Plus I realized that if it takes a long distance relationship to be with the love of your life, then it is way worth it. You're definitively worth it, Callie."
"Arizona…"
The blonde woman's heart tightens when she heard the choked voice calling her name.
"You are, baby. You're the love of my life. I'll deal with the long distance relationship if you think you can."
"I can deal with everything if it means you're mine again."
"I never stopped being yours, Calliope Torres."
Callie shivered at the breathy, low tone Arizona used and a rush of need filled her.
"God, I need to feel you in my arms right now."
Arizona swallowed hard, her own physical need for her lover rising tremendously.
"Callie, you're not making things any easier, here."
"I'm sorry…Ok, that's a lie, I'm not."
Both women burst out laughing, somewhat killing the thickening mood. After a while the brunette launched the conversation again.
"I need to tell you again, Arizona. I'm so very proud of you. I was too self-absorbed since this whole thing started, but I really am so proud of you."
"Thank you, baby. I waited so long to hear that from you."
"I know… It was another occurrence of me being an idiot."
"Yep. But that's ok, I forgive you for this time."
"Oh gee thanks!" Callie laughed.
"Welcome."
But it's with the next comment that Arizona knew that they were back on tracks for good, she felt all of her body relax at the knowledge.
"So, how's your project coming along?"
"Great! Even better than I expected. I hired the team and I think I picked the best there is. And I let the Carter Madison office's director know that there was a change of plans and that I'd train the medical staff then supervise the whole thing from Seattle. He wasn't happy at first but I reminded him that the grant had been allocated to the project, not to my name."
"So, you…you'll really be coming home? For real?"
Arizona's heart broke a little at the insecurity in her lover's voice.
"Callie, I said I'd deal with the long distance relationship, but I'm not staying away for three years. Yes, I'm coming home. I need some time to train my team to get things on tracks. But when I'll think everything is running smoothly, I'll be on the first plane for Seattle. It still will take time though. I can't promise you that I'll be back within a year. But I won't stay for the full allocated time, that's for sure."
Callie Torres felt all the weeks of loneliness and sorrow wash over her and the dam broke, tears and sobs escaped her in a rush.
"Shhhhhh. Baby, please don't cry. I can't stand to know I'm making you cry again."
"They're happy tears, Arizona. They're really happy tears."
"You're sure? What can I do?"
"Just make sure you're coming back home to me."
"I'm coming home, Calliope. There's nothing else I can do. Because you are my home."
-----------
Continued in chapter 6
Author: lysangelle
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG-13
Spoiler alert: Post 7x07 "That's me trying". If you didn't see it and prefer to stay spoiler free, you shouldn't read this as some hints to it and following episodes are bound to show up in the story. But I'll miss you
Summary: Chapter 5. Callie and Arizona are trying to reconnect despite the distance. The girls get to the next step in their reconciliation attempt…
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: I know some of you really liked the mail exchange format but I felt I exhausted that and needed to go forward. I hope you'll still like the story and where it's heading.
Big thanks to loveaz for her insights on this story; you got me out of a couple of traps in there my friend, thank you.
A/N: To avoid weighing down your reading by adding constant 'this one said this', 'the other answered that', I'm formatting the story in the hope 'who says what' will be more obvious.
(I'll just have to be careful to check the auto formatting option on some of the sites!)
Arizona: "Normal"
Callie: "Italics"
---------------------
Chapter 5
To: ArizonaAwesomeRobbins@g.mail.com
From: BadassTorres@hotmail.com
Subject:
Call me
-------------------------
Arizona took a deep shaky breath. The mail that was waiting for her when she finally headed to her temporary home, very late that night, left her breathless.
She knew opening the deepest corners of her heart to Callie had been the right thing to do, and doing it with mails had been easier. But now that everything was in the open, talking to her was making her nervous.
Checking the timestamp on the mail, she realized Callie had sent it less than an hour ago. The temptation to hear the voice she loved so deeply was strong but her nerves were having the best of her at that time. She paced up and down the room for a few minutes, taking deep breaths until the need to hear her love got the best of her.
Walking to her laptop's case she dug out a small device that she plugged into the USB port of her computer. The device was another of Nerdy Callie's findings. Arizona smiled as she remembered how excited Callie had been when she brought it home, saying that little thing was going to allow them to call all their friends and family in the States for free.
Luckily, it had been packed in Arizona's laptop's case and not Callie's.
The blonde quickly hooked up the phone handset to the device and having a last attack of nerves, put it down on the desk's top. She rubbed her damp hands on her thighs and grabbed the handset again, entering the memorized number on the program's numeric keypad before she could change her mind.
-----------------------
Callie turned in bed until she faced the nightstand and be able to grab her iPhone. The unknown number on the screen threw her out and she answered hesitantly.
"Hello?"
"H… Hi."
"Arizona?"
The paeds surgeon smiled tenderly at the childish hesitant voice that was calling her name, her nervousness evaporating as she heard that her love was just as nervous.
"Yeah, it's me."
"Thank you for calling. I wasn't sure you would."
"Well to be honest with you, I was so nervous that I almost didn't."
"What made you at the end?"
"I couldn't spend another day without hearing your voice again."
The admission easily coming from Arizona made Callie's throat tighten. But suddenly a burst of pain and anger exploded in her chest and she had to ask again.
"Why, Arizona? Why did you leave me?"
The blue eyes of the blonde filled up with fresh tears as she felt again how badly she hurt the woman she loved.
"I had to! I protect the things I love. I did what I thought was best for you. What I thought would make you happier in the ling run."
"Well you can stop trying to protect me; I'm a grown woman! Especially if protecting me means breaking up with me!"
"I…I'm sorry, Calliope."
The remorse and pain in the sweet voice made Callie's anger disappear instantly.
"Baby, I'm not mad. It's just that I wish you'd stopped making decisions like that for me. I can decide what I want for myself. And what I want is to be with you. In Malawi or in Seattle. With or without children. Just as long as I'm with you. Understood?"
"Yes ma'am. Understood."
"Good."
Arizona sighed in relief, hearing those words directly from the beautiful mouth of her girlfriend meant the world to her at this time. She did have another point to clear up though and she plucked up the courage to address it.
"Callie, I understand that you're upset and hurt because I messed up, I admit it; I know I did. But I've been hurting too, and I don't mean only because of our break-up. You need to understand that if we want this relationship to work, there are a few things that need to change. Like your friendship with Mark."
"Arizona, nothing will ever happen again with Mark. He's like a brother to me now. He's just a great friend to me."
"I know! I do know that. But I need to explain to you why I have so much trouble with him."
"What!? You mean it wasn't only because he stares at your boobs?"
Arizona laughed at the fake offended tone Callie used to tease her.
"Nooooo. Even if I still say you're the only one I want staring at my boobs.
No. The truth is I have trouble sharing you with him."
"Baby, you're not sharing me with him. I'm all yours."
'That's the problem, Calliope. I do have to share you with him but you don't see it. I'm glad you have such a great friend and I understand you're dedicated to that friendship but sometimes it gets out of bounds. I mean allowing him to sleep in our bed? Seriously? Or having him burst into our bedroom when we're in bed. And that's only a couple of things among a lot more of them. It's just too much, Callie. It's way out of my comfort zone.'
"It sounds like you feel that I'm favoring my friendship with Mark over our relationship."
The brunette sounded quite put-out and Arizona found that she wanted to make her see her own point of view very badly.
"Well yeah, in a way I do… At times. I don't think you notice it but sometimes you put your friendship with him before our relationship. It sure doesn't help with my insecurities. You have to put yourselves in my shoes, Calliope. How would you feel if I had an ex-girlfriend, who I was still very close to, sleep in bed with us? And it's just the most obvious example."
"Oh…"
"Yeah…And when I finally admitted I didn't like him; you expected me, even asked me, to make an effort to try and learn to like him. You didn't even consider asking Mark to try and change some of his ways, did you?"
"Hum… No. No, I didn't. I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot, sometimes…When I look at it that way…"
"Callie… We all are idiots at times. But do you think maybe you could try to look at it that way more often? For my sake? For the sake of our couple? Do you think you could do that?"
"What about going one step further and just set some rules when it comes to Mark's interferences? Set some boundaries, you know…?"
Arizona's smile was blinding as the words registered with her tired brain. Callie could hear the smile in her voice as she asked;
"You mean things like you not gloating when Mark walk in on us in bed? Or hinting at our sex life in his presence? Or not finding it funny when he stumbles on me while I'm naked?"
"Hum, yeah. That too. But I can't help it if I'm damn proud of how hot my girlfriend is and want him to know it! But it won't happen again. Promise. So? Boundaries setting?"
"It would be perfect, Calliope, just perfect."
"And what about we make a deal and just promise that, from now on, we'll be totally honest with each other and we'll talk things through when one of us has a problem with something?"
"No more avoiding contest, huh?"
"Nope, we really need to stop those."
"You have a deal, Dr Torres."
"Good."
An easy, happy silence settled between the two relieved women. They both were just satisfied to listen to the other's breathing for a while.
It was Callie who broke the silence, unable to hold in the words she wanted to say any longer.
"I love you."
"You do?"
"I do."
"I love you too."
Arizona felt tears form in her eyes. At times, when her doubts were rising, she often thought that Callie never seemed to be the first one to say those words. The blonde always tried to reason with herself, to tell herself she must be wrong, that she just couldn't pinpoint those times when Callie actually did initiated the exchange. But it was staying a sore point. Hearing Callie start the replay of their first exchange of I love yous meant a lot to her at this minute.
"Arizona? You're still there?"
"Yes… yes, I'm here."
Reassured, Callie allowed another comfortable silence to stretch; unknowingly her thoughts had taken the same path than her lover's.
"Do you remember that night?"
The blonde woman gave a soft, tender laugh. She couldn't forget the night that changed her life forever even if she was living to be a hundred years old.
"How could I forget that night, Calliope?"
"I wish we could replay the rest of that night too."
Arizona laughed again, more heartedly this time as a blush blossomed on her pale cheeks as she thought back to that amazing night.
"You just want to get me naked and writhing under you again."
"Well yeah, it's part of the plan!"
The women laughed together for a few seconds before Callie started talking again.
"I miss you."
"I miss you too, baby."
"I meant; I miss you, even fully clothed."
Arizona burst out laughing, her girlfriend was just too cute sometimes.
"I know what you meant, Calliope. And I meant the same thing."
After another short silence the blonde hesitantly spoke again.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure. You can ask me anything, it's our new deal, remember?"
"Am I your girlfriend?"
It was Callie's turn to laugh.
"No, Arizona. You're not my girlfriend."
The tall brunette heard the sharp breath intake at the other end of the line and rushed to explain.
"You're not my girlfriend, Arizona. You're my lover. And when you'll get your cute butt back here, you'll be my live-in lover."
Arizona sighed in relief.
"Yes ma'am."
"See? You're getting the hang of it."
"Don't push it, Torres."
Callie laughed until a thought crossed her mind.
"But what about long distance relationships? You said you didn't believe in them."
"I changed my mind. I changed my mind about a lot of things since you are in my life, Calliope Torres. Plus I realized that if it takes a long distance relationship to be with the love of your life, then it is way worth it. You're definitively worth it, Callie."
"Arizona…"
The blonde woman's heart tightens when she heard the choked voice calling her name.
"You are, baby. You're the love of my life. I'll deal with the long distance relationship if you think you can."
"I can deal with everything if it means you're mine again."
"I never stopped being yours, Calliope Torres."
Callie shivered at the breathy, low tone Arizona used and a rush of need filled her.
"God, I need to feel you in my arms right now."
Arizona swallowed hard, her own physical need for her lover rising tremendously.
"Callie, you're not making things any easier, here."
"I'm sorry…Ok, that's a lie, I'm not."
Both women burst out laughing, somewhat killing the thickening mood. After a while the brunette launched the conversation again.
"I need to tell you again, Arizona. I'm so very proud of you. I was too self-absorbed since this whole thing started, but I really am so proud of you."
"Thank you, baby. I waited so long to hear that from you."
"I know… It was another occurrence of me being an idiot."
"Yep. But that's ok, I forgive you for this time."
"Oh gee thanks!" Callie laughed.
"Welcome."
But it's with the next comment that Arizona knew that they were back on tracks for good, she felt all of her body relax at the knowledge.
"So, how's your project coming along?"
"Great! Even better than I expected. I hired the team and I think I picked the best there is. And I let the Carter Madison office's director know that there was a change of plans and that I'd train the medical staff then supervise the whole thing from Seattle. He wasn't happy at first but I reminded him that the grant had been allocated to the project, not to my name."
"So, you…you'll really be coming home? For real?"
Arizona's heart broke a little at the insecurity in her lover's voice.
"Callie, I said I'd deal with the long distance relationship, but I'm not staying away for three years. Yes, I'm coming home. I need some time to train my team to get things on tracks. But when I'll think everything is running smoothly, I'll be on the first plane for Seattle. It still will take time though. I can't promise you that I'll be back within a year. But I won't stay for the full allocated time, that's for sure."
Callie Torres felt all the weeks of loneliness and sorrow wash over her and the dam broke, tears and sobs escaped her in a rush.
"Shhhhhh. Baby, please don't cry. I can't stand to know I'm making you cry again."
"They're happy tears, Arizona. They're really happy tears."
"You're sure? What can I do?"
"Just make sure you're coming back home to me."
"I'm coming home, Calliope. There's nothing else I can do. Because you are my home."
-----------
Continued in chapter 6