There Are Places I Remember 1/?
Author: JeriBearRN
Title: There Are Places I Remember 1/?
Rating: PG for the time being
Summary: There are places I remember all my life, though some have changed; some forever, not for better. Preston Burke and Addison Montgomery left their lives in Seattle for different reasons but never lost touch with each other. Now after two years away from the place they once called home, they find themselves wondering why they ever left.
Disclaimer: These characters are property of Shonda Rhimes/ABC and Grey's Anatomy. They do not belong to me. Reimbursement is not received for fictitious works. The borrowed lyrics are from the song In My Life (There Are Places I Remember) by the Beatles.
AN: For Niceole.
There are places I remember all my life, though some have changed; some forever, not for better. Some have gone and some remain. All these places have their moments, of lovers and friends I still can recall. Some are dead and some are living; in my life I loved them all.
And with all these friends and lovers, there is no one that compares with you.
---
It wasn’t the scene that he was used to- black dresses and cocktail glasses, human bodies composed of more artificial material than should be legal, mindless chatter and useless gestures- everything, everybody was fake. For a fleeting moment, he wondered if California had done the same to his old friend.
When he saw her smile across the room, wave excitedly and then practically trip over her own two feet to greet him with a hug, Preston Burke knew that nothing would ever change Addison.
“You made it,” Her words were laced with an enthusiasm that had been lacking in their telephone conversations over the past year and Burke was genuinely happy for her.
With a slight chuckle he returned her hug, “Indeed.”
Pulling back, she brushed her hands over the black lapel of his sport coat and shook her head, “You haven’t changed. Not that you would, it’s only been two years. But it’s been two years and that’s a long, long time when we’re-“
“Trying to change everything,” He finished with the smallest smile tracing upon his lips.
“Exactly,” A punctuation to the brief conversation about their somewhat unintelligent decisions to try to move on from their lives in Seattle that they had left behind. They had dwelled on the topic for far too many hours, connected by satellites and telephone wires, spoke quietly of the regrets that they held and the hopes that they had.
Tonight was not a night for lamentations, however. It was supposed to be fun; a celebration of another year in the life of a brilliant and wildly successful woman.
With ease, Burke fell into the rhythm of the gathering. Meaningless words intermingled in the air and women drunk on expensive wine offered to carry on conversations with Burke in a more private arena and practically flung themselves upon him.
Addison couldn’t help but watch with an amused grin and a half emptied glass of wine herself. He was an attractive man and any woman would be lucky to have him- she knew that she was lucky to have him in her life. There were nights that she was at the end of her rope and she could feel the fibers beneath her hands and they were quickly unraveling and then…
Then he was there. His smooth voice easing her away from the ledge, encouraging words promising that better things had to come because they’d already found rock bottom. Neither had cared to define what rock bottom was, even to each other- but it would give her hope to know that somebody was there with her.
For a few fleeting moments at a time, Addison would allow herself to wonder if she wasn’t supposed to be there with him at rock bottom.
It was only natural to entertain such thoughts with a man like him.
Their eyes met each other’s from across the room and he excused himself from the small brothel he’d managed to acquire in such a short time at her party. As he moved across the room, he pulled another glass of wine from a passing waiter and approached with a sheepish grin, “You know some interesting people.”
“Oh, them? I don’t know them. I think they must have followed you in from the nearest street corner judging by their attire,” She joked, casting a judgmental glance in their direction. “You have a way with the ladies, Preston.”
He coughed to cover up the slightest chuckle of amusement, “Yes, well, I’m afraid that my attention has been reserved for only one person tonight. I have none to spare.”
“Please, don’t let me hamper your fun. I’ll be fine. Here with my bottle of wine. All alone,” Addison took a sip of her wine, granting him a pathetic glance.
“There’s no fun to be had there, trust me.”
Addison laughed softly and glanced out at the patio, “Do you want to go outside? I think it’s pretty much been abandoned. We can hide you from your adoring fans.”
“Please,” He nodded, falling into step behind her.
The warm sea breeze seemed to immediately drown out the dull roar that had surrounded the duo moments before. The patio was illuminated in a warm glow from tiki torches in the corners, flames tickled by the wind, threatening to extinguish at any moment.
Leaning against the splintering rail, Addison looked out at the beach and let out a soft sigh. “I should be happier than this,” Her voice had that same uncharacteristically soft tone that it always had whenever she talked to him. Sometimes, she felt like he was the only person that she could really talk to.
“Should you be?” Burke asked, looking over at her. It was unusual, the things he noticed about her. For so long, he’d been used to looking down at his companion rather than having somebody at his level.
For a few fleeting moments at a time, Burke allowed himself to wonder if she was at his level in more than one way.
It was only natural to entertain those thoughts with a woman like her.
“You’re thinking about something,” Addison murmured softly, her blue eyes sparkling as she studied his dark brown ones deep with thought.
“I am,” He answered, his voice deep.
Their gazes remained fixed for a long time, no words exchanged between the two of them yet so many things said. There was confusion and curiosity, hesitation and only a hint of excitement.
They’d both entertained the thoughts.
Addison’s voice was the first to cut through the heavy silence, “Do you ever think about things that you shouldn’t think about?” Her voice was wavering at best, her mouth incredibly dry. It had to be some sort of attraction thing. Two people couldn’t be the way they were, couldn’t talk the way that they did without being attracted to each other.
Could they?
Burke laughed gently, “That’s a loaded question, Addison.”
“I suppose that it is,” Her voice was fading even more. There was a luster to her eyes that invited him in. “Do you ever think that maybe we’re looking in the wrong place for the things that we want? That the thing we need might be right in front of us?”
Without a word, Burke reached out, ran a large hand over her cheek for a moment before weaving his fingers through her fiery locks. His other hand moved to grasp just above her hip and pull her a little bit closer and he dipped his head to kiss her.
Their lips brushed together tentatively at first, trying to adjust to the new sensation. It deepened only slightly before they mutually parted, their hands pulling away from each other’s bodies.
Again, silence lingered between them, one waiting for the other to speak. This time, Burke spoke up first.
“It couldn’t be that easy could it?” He asked, the slightest hint of amusement mixed with frustration not lost on Addison.
With a soft groan she sunk onto her overpriced lawn furniture, “Of course not.”
Sensing her exasperation with the current state of her life, Burke took a seat next to her. His eyes focused on the rim of his wine glass and he cleared his throat. “I don’t think about things that I shouldn’t. I think about her,” He paused to take a drink of his wine, “I think about whether or not what I did was the right thing to do and if it was why it doesn’t feel right. I think about the things I hear in passing about what’s happened to Seattle Grace and I think about going back, what would happen if I went back to Seattle.”
“We can’t go back,” She interrupted, “We can’t just go back, can we? It’s not that easy to just walk back into a life that we walked away from.”
Burke cleared his throat slightly, “I don’t know if I’d want to. She’s seeing somebody. A trauma surgeon with issues, according to Shepherd.”
“I’d heard as much. Mark’s dating a twelve year old. Meredith Grey’s sister,” Addison paused and a pathetic laugh escaped her lips, “What is it about the Grey family that has to invade and infiltrate every corner of my life? They’re not even that attractive. What is it that they have that I don’t?”
“A good friend would tell you nothing. A better friend would remind you that Sloan wasn’t the one who ended that pseudo-relationship.”
“You’re not helping,” She muttered before emptying her glass, “And he has issues. Cristina has no business being with that man. He has no business working in a hospital until he gets those issues fixed. I respect what he’s done for our country, the service that he’s provided-“
“He’s military?” Burke interrupted with a quirked eyebrow, “Shepherd didn’t mention that. Go on.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this,” Addison answered warily.
“But you are,” He countered.
Addison glanced up at him. All of the times that they had talked about rock bottom, the hundreds of times that she’d called him and never once had he mentioned his issues or the things on his mind.
Not that she needed to ask, she already knew the answer.
“He’s being treated for PTSD. From what I’ve heard, but I cannot confirm, it may have had some…physical,” Her eyes turned away from him, “Some physical manifestations. Nothing serious but frightening nonetheless.”
Burke’s fingers tightened around the rim of his glass but he said nothing. The last thing that he had wanted whenever he set her free was for her to end up in a situation like that, to end up with somebody broken.
Cristina deserved better than that.
“I can’t imagine that Sloan has settled down with Grey’s sister. He doesn’t settle down for anybody does he?”
Addison studied her friend, unsurprised by his attempt to change the topic of conversation. She had never failed to notice how incredibly closed off the two of them were. Despite his decision to leave, she’d never once thought that they weren’t perfect for each other. Neither one of them ever said a damn thing but usually seemed to get what the other one wasn’t saying.
Usually.
“He’s living with her,” Addison finally mumbled, “Mark Sloan is living with one woman and not having sex with the nurses on the side. He’s actually in a committed relationship.”
“I’m impressed,” Burke commented dryly.
“Me too. How wrong would it be for me to swoop in and take him back now that she seems to have him properly trained?”She asked and then laughed a little, “How pathetic am I spending my twenty-fifth birthday sitting here wishing that I were somewhere else other than my own party?”
“Twenty-five? That old?” He couldn’t help but tease gently, “And it’s not pathetic. Even as trying as those times were they seem so easy now in comparison.”
“It’s because we had people. People we knew and loved, that we lived for. Even if we didn’t realize we were doing it at the time,” She finally drew her eyes back up to his wounded brown ones. Clearly talking about the one place he really considered to be home was hard on him. “We couldn’t go back there, could we? It couldn’t be that easy.”
His gaze searched hers for a brief moment as he entertained the thoughts of going back home, to the life he left behind. There was nothing that he wanted more than to return to Seattle, to the life he left behind.
No award held the allure of what the implications of returning to Seattle did.
“Who said it would be easy if we went back?” Burke replied in a deep timbre, “Going back to Seattle would be anything but easy.”
“The hospital is suffering without us. They’re going through attending cardiothoracic surgeons at an unheard of rate,” Addison said slowly.
Burke could see where she was going with it and didn’t hesitate to participate in their delusional reasoning, “They’ve never replaced you. The neonatology program is the worst on the West coast.”
“They dropped to number twelve. There’s rumors that next year the numbers could be even lower, that they could lose their UNOS accreditation, their trauma certifications. They merged with Mercy West.”
“Richard is handling it poorly,” Burke added, “Or so I’ve heard. The hospital is a disaster and the leadership leaves little to be desired.”
“Really, we’d be doing them a favor if we went back,” Addison said with finality, “They’d owe us. Big time.”
“Absolutely,” Burke agreed, “And I don’t doubt for a moment that Richard would welcome us back with open arms.”
With the slightest hint of mischief in her eye, Addison looked up at her dear friend and the look of despair that had darkened her expression for the past months had evolved into something different- perhaps it was determination or pure madness. No matter whatever new notion had taken her over, it was infectious. “What do you have waiting for you at home, Preston?”
There was no hesitation in Burke’s reply, “My home is in Seattle.”
Title: There Are Places I Remember 1/?
Rating: PG for the time being
Summary: There are places I remember all my life, though some have changed; some forever, not for better. Preston Burke and Addison Montgomery left their lives in Seattle for different reasons but never lost touch with each other. Now after two years away from the place they once called home, they find themselves wondering why they ever left.
Disclaimer: These characters are property of Shonda Rhimes/ABC and Grey's Anatomy. They do not belong to me. Reimbursement is not received for fictitious works. The borrowed lyrics are from the song In My Life (There Are Places I Remember) by the Beatles.
AN: For Niceole.
There are places I remember all my life, though some have changed; some forever, not for better. Some have gone and some remain. All these places have their moments, of lovers and friends I still can recall. Some are dead and some are living; in my life I loved them all.
And with all these friends and lovers, there is no one that compares with you.
---
It wasn’t the scene that he was used to- black dresses and cocktail glasses, human bodies composed of more artificial material than should be legal, mindless chatter and useless gestures- everything, everybody was fake. For a fleeting moment, he wondered if California had done the same to his old friend.
When he saw her smile across the room, wave excitedly and then practically trip over her own two feet to greet him with a hug, Preston Burke knew that nothing would ever change Addison.
“You made it,” Her words were laced with an enthusiasm that had been lacking in their telephone conversations over the past year and Burke was genuinely happy for her.
With a slight chuckle he returned her hug, “Indeed.”
Pulling back, she brushed her hands over the black lapel of his sport coat and shook her head, “You haven’t changed. Not that you would, it’s only been two years. But it’s been two years and that’s a long, long time when we’re-“
“Trying to change everything,” He finished with the smallest smile tracing upon his lips.
“Exactly,” A punctuation to the brief conversation about their somewhat unintelligent decisions to try to move on from their lives in Seattle that they had left behind. They had dwelled on the topic for far too many hours, connected by satellites and telephone wires, spoke quietly of the regrets that they held and the hopes that they had.
Tonight was not a night for lamentations, however. It was supposed to be fun; a celebration of another year in the life of a brilliant and wildly successful woman.
With ease, Burke fell into the rhythm of the gathering. Meaningless words intermingled in the air and women drunk on expensive wine offered to carry on conversations with Burke in a more private arena and practically flung themselves upon him.
Addison couldn’t help but watch with an amused grin and a half emptied glass of wine herself. He was an attractive man and any woman would be lucky to have him- she knew that she was lucky to have him in her life. There were nights that she was at the end of her rope and she could feel the fibers beneath her hands and they were quickly unraveling and then…
Then he was there. His smooth voice easing her away from the ledge, encouraging words promising that better things had to come because they’d already found rock bottom. Neither had cared to define what rock bottom was, even to each other- but it would give her hope to know that somebody was there with her.
For a few fleeting moments at a time, Addison would allow herself to wonder if she wasn’t supposed to be there with him at rock bottom.
It was only natural to entertain such thoughts with a man like him.
Their eyes met each other’s from across the room and he excused himself from the small brothel he’d managed to acquire in such a short time at her party. As he moved across the room, he pulled another glass of wine from a passing waiter and approached with a sheepish grin, “You know some interesting people.”
“Oh, them? I don’t know them. I think they must have followed you in from the nearest street corner judging by their attire,” She joked, casting a judgmental glance in their direction. “You have a way with the ladies, Preston.”
He coughed to cover up the slightest chuckle of amusement, “Yes, well, I’m afraid that my attention has been reserved for only one person tonight. I have none to spare.”
“Please, don’t let me hamper your fun. I’ll be fine. Here with my bottle of wine. All alone,” Addison took a sip of her wine, granting him a pathetic glance.
“There’s no fun to be had there, trust me.”
Addison laughed softly and glanced out at the patio, “Do you want to go outside? I think it’s pretty much been abandoned. We can hide you from your adoring fans.”
“Please,” He nodded, falling into step behind her.
The warm sea breeze seemed to immediately drown out the dull roar that had surrounded the duo moments before. The patio was illuminated in a warm glow from tiki torches in the corners, flames tickled by the wind, threatening to extinguish at any moment.
Leaning against the splintering rail, Addison looked out at the beach and let out a soft sigh. “I should be happier than this,” Her voice had that same uncharacteristically soft tone that it always had whenever she talked to him. Sometimes, she felt like he was the only person that she could really talk to.
“Should you be?” Burke asked, looking over at her. It was unusual, the things he noticed about her. For so long, he’d been used to looking down at his companion rather than having somebody at his level.
For a few fleeting moments at a time, Burke allowed himself to wonder if she was at his level in more than one way.
It was only natural to entertain those thoughts with a woman like her.
“You’re thinking about something,” Addison murmured softly, her blue eyes sparkling as she studied his dark brown ones deep with thought.
“I am,” He answered, his voice deep.
Their gazes remained fixed for a long time, no words exchanged between the two of them yet so many things said. There was confusion and curiosity, hesitation and only a hint of excitement.
They’d both entertained the thoughts.
Addison’s voice was the first to cut through the heavy silence, “Do you ever think about things that you shouldn’t think about?” Her voice was wavering at best, her mouth incredibly dry. It had to be some sort of attraction thing. Two people couldn’t be the way they were, couldn’t talk the way that they did without being attracted to each other.
Could they?
Burke laughed gently, “That’s a loaded question, Addison.”
“I suppose that it is,” Her voice was fading even more. There was a luster to her eyes that invited him in. “Do you ever think that maybe we’re looking in the wrong place for the things that we want? That the thing we need might be right in front of us?”
Without a word, Burke reached out, ran a large hand over her cheek for a moment before weaving his fingers through her fiery locks. His other hand moved to grasp just above her hip and pull her a little bit closer and he dipped his head to kiss her.
Their lips brushed together tentatively at first, trying to adjust to the new sensation. It deepened only slightly before they mutually parted, their hands pulling away from each other’s bodies.
Again, silence lingered between them, one waiting for the other to speak. This time, Burke spoke up first.
“It couldn’t be that easy could it?” He asked, the slightest hint of amusement mixed with frustration not lost on Addison.
With a soft groan she sunk onto her overpriced lawn furniture, “Of course not.”
Sensing her exasperation with the current state of her life, Burke took a seat next to her. His eyes focused on the rim of his wine glass and he cleared his throat. “I don’t think about things that I shouldn’t. I think about her,” He paused to take a drink of his wine, “I think about whether or not what I did was the right thing to do and if it was why it doesn’t feel right. I think about the things I hear in passing about what’s happened to Seattle Grace and I think about going back, what would happen if I went back to Seattle.”
“We can’t go back,” She interrupted, “We can’t just go back, can we? It’s not that easy to just walk back into a life that we walked away from.”
Burke cleared his throat slightly, “I don’t know if I’d want to. She’s seeing somebody. A trauma surgeon with issues, according to Shepherd.”
“I’d heard as much. Mark’s dating a twelve year old. Meredith Grey’s sister,” Addison paused and a pathetic laugh escaped her lips, “What is it about the Grey family that has to invade and infiltrate every corner of my life? They’re not even that attractive. What is it that they have that I don’t?”
“A good friend would tell you nothing. A better friend would remind you that Sloan wasn’t the one who ended that pseudo-relationship.”
“You’re not helping,” She muttered before emptying her glass, “And he has issues. Cristina has no business being with that man. He has no business working in a hospital until he gets those issues fixed. I respect what he’s done for our country, the service that he’s provided-“
“He’s military?” Burke interrupted with a quirked eyebrow, “Shepherd didn’t mention that. Go on.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this,” Addison answered warily.
“But you are,” He countered.
Addison glanced up at him. All of the times that they had talked about rock bottom, the hundreds of times that she’d called him and never once had he mentioned his issues or the things on his mind.
Not that she needed to ask, she already knew the answer.
“He’s being treated for PTSD. From what I’ve heard, but I cannot confirm, it may have had some…physical,” Her eyes turned away from him, “Some physical manifestations. Nothing serious but frightening nonetheless.”
Burke’s fingers tightened around the rim of his glass but he said nothing. The last thing that he had wanted whenever he set her free was for her to end up in a situation like that, to end up with somebody broken.
Cristina deserved better than that.
“I can’t imagine that Sloan has settled down with Grey’s sister. He doesn’t settle down for anybody does he?”
Addison studied her friend, unsurprised by his attempt to change the topic of conversation. She had never failed to notice how incredibly closed off the two of them were. Despite his decision to leave, she’d never once thought that they weren’t perfect for each other. Neither one of them ever said a damn thing but usually seemed to get what the other one wasn’t saying.
Usually.
“He’s living with her,” Addison finally mumbled, “Mark Sloan is living with one woman and not having sex with the nurses on the side. He’s actually in a committed relationship.”
“I’m impressed,” Burke commented dryly.
“Me too. How wrong would it be for me to swoop in and take him back now that she seems to have him properly trained?”She asked and then laughed a little, “How pathetic am I spending my twenty-fifth birthday sitting here wishing that I were somewhere else other than my own party?”
“Twenty-five? That old?” He couldn’t help but tease gently, “And it’s not pathetic. Even as trying as those times were they seem so easy now in comparison.”
“It’s because we had people. People we knew and loved, that we lived for. Even if we didn’t realize we were doing it at the time,” She finally drew her eyes back up to his wounded brown ones. Clearly talking about the one place he really considered to be home was hard on him. “We couldn’t go back there, could we? It couldn’t be that easy.”
His gaze searched hers for a brief moment as he entertained the thoughts of going back home, to the life he left behind. There was nothing that he wanted more than to return to Seattle, to the life he left behind.
No award held the allure of what the implications of returning to Seattle did.
“Who said it would be easy if we went back?” Burke replied in a deep timbre, “Going back to Seattle would be anything but easy.”
“The hospital is suffering without us. They’re going through attending cardiothoracic surgeons at an unheard of rate,” Addison said slowly.
Burke could see where she was going with it and didn’t hesitate to participate in their delusional reasoning, “They’ve never replaced you. The neonatology program is the worst on the West coast.”
“They dropped to number twelve. There’s rumors that next year the numbers could be even lower, that they could lose their UNOS accreditation, their trauma certifications. They merged with Mercy West.”
“Richard is handling it poorly,” Burke added, “Or so I’ve heard. The hospital is a disaster and the leadership leaves little to be desired.”
“Really, we’d be doing them a favor if we went back,” Addison said with finality, “They’d owe us. Big time.”
“Absolutely,” Burke agreed, “And I don’t doubt for a moment that Richard would welcome us back with open arms.”
With the slightest hint of mischief in her eye, Addison looked up at her dear friend and the look of despair that had darkened her expression for the past months had evolved into something different- perhaps it was determination or pure madness. No matter whatever new notion had taken her over, it was infectious. “What do you have waiting for you at home, Preston?”
There was no hesitation in Burke’s reply, “My home is in Seattle.”