Secret Santa For: wings4music
Title: Reliving
Character/Pairing: Addison, many mentions of Alex/Addison
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: 3x16, Drowning on Dry Land. 3x21, Desire. 3x25, Didn't We Almost Have It All?.
Summary: Set at the end of PrP 1x03. She wasn’t suppose to be thinking about Seattle. Reliving it. Any of it. That’s why she came here. To get away from it. The pain. All of it.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author's Note: I hope you enjoy it wings4music! =)
--
It was raining in LA… Again. But this time was different. She felt more, you could say, content. She had slowly gotten use to the idea that in this place full of sun, there would be cloudy days where rain would pour.
She still didn’t like it though. It reminded her of Seattle. Maybe a little to much for her liking, because as she lay there in her bed, hearing the rain pour overhead, her mind flashbacked to that place. She didn’t particularly like when she relived moments there.
There were a few she relived, and those few that she did… She wanted to forget.
She wasn’t suppose to be thinking about Seattle. Reliving it. Any of it. That’s why she came here. To get away from it. The pain. All of it. And yet, here she was, ready for flashback number one to come as she heard the rain continue to pour.
“I would notice."
“What?”
“I would notice... If you were missing, I would notice.”
There it was, as she predicted.
That was the first and only person she thought of. Of everything she could have thought of in Seattle, it had to be him. Well, it was better than thinking of Mark. If that happened, she might have to call Derek for a consult.
The last time she thought of Mark was… In New York, and it wasn’t even that often. During that time, it was more about filling the void Derek had been leaving, constantly.
Now, there was no void to fill. No excuse for thinking about that intern. No. He was a resident now.
But there was still no excuse.
Maybe there was. Maybe something inside of her was trying to tell her there was a lonely void that had to be filled, but then again, Pete could fill that.
No excuse.
Damn, she hated the fact that she didn’t have one. He, the man invading her thoughts, wasn’t even here. That was one of the facts she hated, along with having no excuse in the first place for doing so.
“Karev.”
“Hey. I was just checkin’ up on Ava.”
“Do I have another Denny Duquette situation on my hands?”
“What? Are you serious?”
“I have never seen you so attentive with a patient. You’re always there, checking her stats, running tests, doing research!”
“It’s my job.”
“No, it’s my job. I’m her doctor. You’re my intern.”
“Which is why I have to know her stats at all times. Because I’m not about to stand next to you in your OR and be anything less than over prepared, ok? There’s no way I’m gonna go to work every day with a surgeon like you and not be at the top of my game. So, if you wanna yell at me…”
And that’s when she kissed him. One of the worst things she could have done. It gave her actual hope. Which she blamed herself for the fact it shouldn’t have. It was just sex. At least for him. It should have been for her too, but it hadn’t. She had barely thought about it.
She glanced at one side, then the other to make sure nobody in the hospital was watching. Then she kissed him. Almost pushing him into that on call room. Why did that door have to be there anyway? If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t have happened, and maybe the thought of his hands roaming her body, his hot breath on her neck…
That’s when she stopped herself and cursed herself a bit in her own mind.
She hadn’t had sex in quite awhile, that was the reason of thinking of that flashback of him.
An excuse.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“I was gonna go get a drink. You wanna head over to Joe’s?”
“Yeah, I’m kinda under about this test.”
“Okay. You know, um, I took that test once upon a time. We could, um, go back to my hotel... I could quiz you.”
“Look, uh, this isn’t... you’re not my girlfriend, okay?”
“What?”
“No offense, today was awesome. It’s just, I’m really busy, I have a lot of work. I don’t have time for…”
“No, of course. Study. It’s what you’re here for, right?”
That’s when she decided she had to come to LA. That moment when she thought she may have a reason to stay there in that dreadful city, tainted with hurtful memories of her now past, but that moment was gone.
She hated reliving that moment. She’d rather relive the first moment she thought about. At least that moment wasn’t as painful.
“I always find it confusing. If you know the bride AND the groom, which side do you sit on?”
“I just try to find the hottest chick in the room and sit by her.”
“Stop.”
“Do you want to ditch the reception and grab a drink?”
“Stop it. You don't want me.”
“Maybe I do.”
In a way, it was bittersweet, because he didn’t really want her. She knew it.
“You want Ava.”
“She's not Ava anymore. She's Rebecca and I barely know her.”
“Look at me. Look at me! You suck. To me, you suck. I kind of hate you. But Alex, you do not get unlimited chances to have the things we want. And this I know. Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could change your life. No matter what her name is, she'll always be Ava to you.”
And she was right. He went back to the hospital for her didn’t he?
She still did kind of hate him. But it wasn’t his fault he didn’t want her. He just didn’t.
If that was any kind of excuse.
Right here. Right now. She was in LA. A whole new life away from what was. A life away from him.
And she was happy. If she stayed in Seattle she wouldn’t be.
She was happy…
Even if she did relive those moments with him whenever the rain poured, or even drizzled, in supposedly sunny LA.
Character/Pairing: Addison, many mentions of Alex/Addison
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: 3x16, Drowning on Dry Land. 3x21, Desire. 3x25, Didn't We Almost Have It All?.
Summary: Set at the end of PrP 1x03. She wasn’t suppose to be thinking about Seattle. Reliving it. Any of it. That’s why she came here. To get away from it. The pain. All of it.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author's Note: I hope you enjoy it wings4music! =)
--
It was raining in LA… Again. But this time was different. She felt more, you could say, content. She had slowly gotten use to the idea that in this place full of sun, there would be cloudy days where rain would pour.
She still didn’t like it though. It reminded her of Seattle. Maybe a little to much for her liking, because as she lay there in her bed, hearing the rain pour overhead, her mind flashbacked to that place. She didn’t particularly like when she relived moments there.
There were a few she relived, and those few that she did… She wanted to forget.
She wasn’t suppose to be thinking about Seattle. Reliving it. Any of it. That’s why she came here. To get away from it. The pain. All of it. And yet, here she was, ready for flashback number one to come as she heard the rain continue to pour.
“I would notice."
“What?”
“I would notice... If you were missing, I would notice.”
There it was, as she predicted.
That was the first and only person she thought of. Of everything she could have thought of in Seattle, it had to be him. Well, it was better than thinking of Mark. If that happened, she might have to call Derek for a consult.
The last time she thought of Mark was… In New York, and it wasn’t even that often. During that time, it was more about filling the void Derek had been leaving, constantly.
Now, there was no void to fill. No excuse for thinking about that intern. No. He was a resident now.
But there was still no excuse.
Maybe there was. Maybe something inside of her was trying to tell her there was a lonely void that had to be filled, but then again, Pete could fill that.
No excuse.
Damn, she hated the fact that she didn’t have one. He, the man invading her thoughts, wasn’t even here. That was one of the facts she hated, along with having no excuse in the first place for doing so.
“Karev.”
“Hey. I was just checkin’ up on Ava.”
“Do I have another Denny Duquette situation on my hands?”
“What? Are you serious?”
“I have never seen you so attentive with a patient. You’re always there, checking her stats, running tests, doing research!”
“It’s my job.”
“No, it’s my job. I’m her doctor. You’re my intern.”
“Which is why I have to know her stats at all times. Because I’m not about to stand next to you in your OR and be anything less than over prepared, ok? There’s no way I’m gonna go to work every day with a surgeon like you and not be at the top of my game. So, if you wanna yell at me…”
And that’s when she kissed him. One of the worst things she could have done. It gave her actual hope. Which she blamed herself for the fact it shouldn’t have. It was just sex. At least for him. It should have been for her too, but it hadn’t. She had barely thought about it.
She glanced at one side, then the other to make sure nobody in the hospital was watching. Then she kissed him. Almost pushing him into that on call room. Why did that door have to be there anyway? If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t have happened, and maybe the thought of his hands roaming her body, his hot breath on her neck…
That’s when she stopped herself and cursed herself a bit in her own mind.
She hadn’t had sex in quite awhile, that was the reason of thinking of that flashback of him.
An excuse.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“I was gonna go get a drink. You wanna head over to Joe’s?”
“Yeah, I’m kinda under about this test.”
“Okay. You know, um, I took that test once upon a time. We could, um, go back to my hotel... I could quiz you.”
“Look, uh, this isn’t... you’re not my girlfriend, okay?”
“What?”
“No offense, today was awesome. It’s just, I’m really busy, I have a lot of work. I don’t have time for…”
“No, of course. Study. It’s what you’re here for, right?”
That’s when she decided she had to come to LA. That moment when she thought she may have a reason to stay there in that dreadful city, tainted with hurtful memories of her now past, but that moment was gone.
She hated reliving that moment. She’d rather relive the first moment she thought about. At least that moment wasn’t as painful.
“I always find it confusing. If you know the bride AND the groom, which side do you sit on?”
“I just try to find the hottest chick in the room and sit by her.”
“Stop.”
“Do you want to ditch the reception and grab a drink?”
“Stop it. You don't want me.”
“Maybe I do.”
In a way, it was bittersweet, because he didn’t really want her. She knew it.
“You want Ava.”
“She's not Ava anymore. She's Rebecca and I barely know her.”
“Look at me. Look at me! You suck. To me, you suck. I kind of hate you. But Alex, you do not get unlimited chances to have the things we want. And this I know. Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could change your life. No matter what her name is, she'll always be Ava to you.”
And she was right. He went back to the hospital for her didn’t he?
She still did kind of hate him. But it wasn’t his fault he didn’t want her. He just didn’t.
If that was any kind of excuse.
Right here. Right now. She was in LA. A whole new life away from what was. A life away from him.
And she was happy. If she stayed in Seattle she wouldn’t be.
She was happy…
Even if she did relive those moments with him whenever the rain poured, or even drizzled, in supposedly sunny LA.