First picspam
I love Gary, and so should you. Here's why.
Once upon a time, a long time ago (the early Nineties), there were six little boys (or teenagers, at any rate). Their names were Ryan Giggs, Nicky Butt, David Beckham, Gary Neville, Phil Neville and Paul Scholes, and they were known as Fergie's Fledglings. Please note how snuggly Gary and David look here, as this will be important later. Also, Gary and Phil's ears match, and this is terribly, terribly cute.
Look at them. Like naughty, giggling, rather foxy schoolboys.
Young and floppy-haired and... sort of Oasis-y, actually. Oh, the Nineties <3
... *Touches*
And to round this section off, ZOMGCUTE.
One of the many (many, MANY) reasons to love Gary is his relationships with certain people, his brother being one of them. Oh come on, you can't say this photo isn't endearing!
And of course with his lady-friend, Emma, though we don't know much about her (a point in her favour, in my opinion. I appreciate - and I'm sure he does too - her discretion).
But the relationship we're going to focus on most in this section here is the one that has been most visible; that with David Beckham.
The most peculiar, contradictory pairing of best friends ever?
Here they are having big smooshy cuddles.
More smooshy cuddles.
MOAR smooshy cuddles!
The BESTEST smooshy cuddle. I fucking love this photo.
AND VERY OCCASIONALLY KISSES TOO. LOVE FOOTBALL. LOVE THESE TWO. LOVE GARY.
And sometimes there is mockery of one another's fashion sense also =D
They comfort each other too...
...When the other is hurt.
Which leads us very nicely onto the next section: comfort. Gary is superb at looking after his team-mates when they're hurt or heartbroken, as Owen Hargreaves here will assure us.
He can even do it on crutches!
And he's always there, being his captainly self, for a desperately-injured team-mate...
...And sometimes even there for the Enemy! But don't worry, United fans; he washed his hands afterwards.
His club mates don't even need to have hurt themselves, or have been upset by some defeat, to earn his defense. All you need to do is attempt to lamp a Spaniard who plays for the Scousers and he'll be there in your corner, snarling at the ref.
But it's not all sad! Sometimes he wins stuff! Like big, shiny trophies.
And once even THREE big shiny trophies!
Our lad here knows how to celebrate properly. Also notice his awesome thighs.
Also awesome arse. There will be a test on this later.
He looks very fierce when he celebrates. This is Quite Sexy.
He especially knows how to celebrate against the Scousers. As any true United fan will tell you, these are the Enemy and should be treated with great contempt.
More examples of "celebrating against Vermin."
And again.
Another example of fantastic pins celebrating against Scousers. As I have shown you, Mr. Neville has this down to an artform.
Scousers should be treated with contempt. City players should also be treated with contempt. This picture demonstrates both facts.
Onto the next part. This part is "Match Day Face." This is Match Day Face. It is very sexy.
As is this.
This is the same face from a different angle. Here you can see the natural wonder that is Gary Neville's nose, which I could devote a whole section to if I wanted to. Perhaps another spam.
It's not all Match Face though, because as it turns out he's got one of the silliest, most endearing grins/laughs in the Premiership.
Looook! ZOMGSQUISHES.
He seems especially grinny when he's training.
*Lulz*
And this is just about the most endearing thing I've ever seen. He looks like a naughty child with facial hair.
SPEAKING OF CHILDREN. He looks great with the mascots. All footballers should be good with kids, and - despite not actually having any of his own - our lad here is. ZOMG BABIES.
ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE DAVID BECKHAM'S KIDS OH GOD MY OVARIES.
So we've established that he makes women who don't want kids want his babies (read: me). Part of this reason is because he looks fucking awesome in a suit.
This is when my commentary - already incoherent - descends into a keyboard mash of hormonal squeakings.
aksjsdlas!!! <--- see?
OH GOD WANT.
*Sizzles*
He can look pretty foxy on the pitch too. FUCK RONALDO WITH HIS SHIRT OFF TRYING TOO HARD.
LUCKY NORWEGIAN BASTARD love you ole
Ungh tongue.
And to round this spam off, and to briefly beat down my feral hormones, one of the final things I love - and YOU should love - about Gary, is his shortarse-ness. Because being short is brilliant.
AND THOSE ARE JUST SOME REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD LOVE GARY.