The Cooper Libido Experiment 3/?
Title: "The Cooper Libido Experiment"
Author: g_girl143 / gwendy
Rating: PG
Chapters: 3/(?)
Timeline: Post L/P...beyond Post L/P...
Summary: There are times when the thing you love the most will cause your downfall. In the case of Dr. Sheldon Cooper, that would be Science...
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the series and am not making any money out of this despite putting my sweat and blood into it. So save me the lawsuits and just allow a beggar to indulge in fantasies. Thank you.
A/N: Sorry for the late post guys. I actually finished this chapter a while back, but I didn't want this fanfic post to clash with the S/P Scavenger Hunt post, so I opted to wait a bit...again, unebeta'd, please forgive me.
Chapter 1 // Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Students filed out of the room just as the clock struck three. It was one of the rare occasions when Dr. Sheldon Cooper gave out a lecture to students, and Ramona could only remember too well, the one he had given two years before. That had been her first real look at him, though prior to seeing him in the flesh, she had stored hundreds of his pictures in her computer hard drive.
Around three or four grad students had run out earlier to vomit. Dr. Cooper's persona as an advocate of truth had never been as intensified as when he spoke of how the next generation were sadly being mislead by lesser minds into believing they would ever contribute something significant into the world of physics. True greatness could only be achieved by great minds such as his own, and she'd like to think hers was almost as par with his...what with her cleverness in having a double dose of Dr. Winkle's serum infused in the brownies she was carrying.
She waited for the rest of the student body to move out before approaching his desk. He seemed a little distracted, and she took it as a good sign.
"Hello, Dr. Cooper," Ramona greeted as sweetly as possible. He only grunted and continued to put away his books. "You seem to be under stress."
He still didn't look up from stacking his books. "Whatever gave you the idea?"
"If the tension in your shoulders, the proliferation of sweat on your forehead and your erratic breathing do not signal high levels of stress, then I believe the violent passion in which you relayed the insignificance of our minds is notable."
He paused for a moment to look at her. His eyes were still the same summer blue she so loved, but there were dark circles beneath them. He obviously hadn't been sleeping, and if Ramona could smile any wider, the corners of her lips would've reached her ears.
With a suggestive wink, she held out the box in her hands. "You know...sweets, specifically chocolate can actually help relieve stress..."
Ramona later found herself barging in to Dr. Leslie Winkle's office.
"It still didn't work," she shrieked, waving an empty box in the air. "He ate everything to the last morsel and he didn't even bat an eye when I invited him to my place. Not surprisingly, he declined."
"Huh." Dr. Winkle's brows met. "Perhaps you had not implied your suggestion bluntly enough. Dr. Dumb-ass is not the type who can understand subtlety."
"Subtle?" Ramona felt her neck muscles strain. "I invited him to come to my apartment so we can get to know each other in a more intimate setting. Those were my exact words, and with that double dose of your serum, you'd think he could've at least not pulled away from me when I touched his arm...but he did. And used that god-awful sanitizer again!"
"Interesting." Leslie nodded and turned to her computer, typing in the results. "Very interesting indeed..."
**
Penny drove slowly towards Sheldon's parking space, growling when she saw him standing there with his eyes on his wristwatch. She was fifteen minutes behind his precious little schedule but she could care less. Some part of her even waited in anticipation for his inevitable lecture on punctuality. She so needed someone to vent her anger on, and Dr. Cooper, in most cases, fitted the bill.
"Alright, let's have it," she challenged after she had opened the door for him. "Come on, Dr. Whackadoodle. Hit me with your best shot."
Sheldon stared at her from beneath furrowed brows as he slipped in the passenger's seat and buckled his seatbelt. "I'm sorry, but I'm a little confused by your outburst, particularly in the hints of sarcasm, yet you seem to be giving me an actual command. Are you asking me to physically hit you? Because although we have fought on numerous ocassions, I should think I've already established myself as the type who never resorts to physical violence with women."
Penny's brows rose. "What? No 'Penny, how could you be so blind to not notice the time'? No 'this just proves why your intellect is only at elementary' or 'Penny, you are so evil to ruin my plans'?"
Sheldon only blinked at her, and she cursed under her breath as she pulled the car out of the lot. So much for someone to vent on.
"Penny, are you under stress?"
"Whatever gave you the idea?" She honked her horn when a car cut in front of her. "Who do you think you are, asshole, king of the road?"
"That," Sheldon said, and Penny gave him the deadliest glare she could muster. Oddly enough, he didn't turn away like he usually did. If anything, his gaze grew more intense.
When had Sheldon Cooper's eyes become so blue?
"Red light! Red light!"
Penny snapped her head forward, shrieking when she saw the cars streaming from the intersection. She managed to step on the breaks, jolting her and Sheldon's bodies when the car halted.
For several moments, all she did was grip the steering wheel, her eyes still on the endless queue of fast cars.
Then, she pressed her forehead against the wheel and began counting the seconds before Sheldon's degrading lecture.
Three...two...one...
"There, there."
The shock of his hand patting her shoulder sent her looking at him with wide eyes. He was a little pale, but other than that, he was...calm.
And he still had his hand on her shoulder. Rubbing it.
"Penny, you are obviously under a lot of stress and it has affected your motor functions. It will not do good for you to drive under such conditions."
Penny narrowed her eyes and pulled her shoulder away from his roaming hand. Not that she didn't need some physical comfort, but the way his fingers had moved on her shoulder blade made her...too comfortable. "So, what do you propose, genius? I thought Homo Novuses don't drive."
"The plural form is homo novi, not novuses," Sheldon corrected, but not with his usual condescension. He seemed...genuinely patient, and this made Penny squirm in her seat. "I propose that we stop by La Marea."
"The pastry shop?"
"That is correct. We are after all within close proximity to it. We could have some warm brownie cup."
"I don't have any money on me," Penny grumbled, more to brush off the offer than anything else. Sheldon's behavior was beginning to unnerve her.
"Would it help if I said I would be paying?"
Okay. Now she was officially unnerved. "Why would you want to treat me to a warm brownie cup?"
"I could state a number of reasons. I can't very well have you drive us home, since in your current mental state, the chances of our encountering a traffic accident is raised exponentially. And as was proven to me earlier by Ramona, sweets, specifically chocolate, can help alleviate stress."
Ramona...Ramona...why did that name sound familiar? Then, it clicked. "Ramona, that stalker grad student?"
"Yes. She came over to give me a box of brownies and...green light! Green light!"
Penny's foot hit the accelerator, and almost without her knowing it, she had driven to the parking space of La Marea's.
**
Penny practically purred when the ice cream, chocolate bits and the soft, warm brownie caressed her tongue. She and Sheldon were seated by the window, Sheldon nibbling at his peach cobbler with gusto. He was saying something scientific about peaches, and later, talked about the history of cobbler but she had learned through the years how to tune him out until all she heard was his drone. She'd always found it strange how her drone soothed her...like music.
She grinned and nodded accordingly when Sheldon waited for her reaction. Yup, you know you lived long enough across a Dr. Sheldon Cooper to compare his boring lecture to music.
"So how was your day, Penny?"
The head of Penny's spoon lay stuck between her lips as her brows met to give her neighbor a suspicious look. He seemed serious, but then, when had he been anything but serious?
With a smack of the lips, she put her spoon down, ignoring how Sheldon's eyes seemed to have been fixated on her mouth those last few moments. "Sheldon, sweetie, you don't have to make small talk. Frankly, you're not good at it. Just go and talk about your day. I don't mind."
"But I already have. The essence of communication is an exchange of information. I have relayed to you much about my day and other things, and it's your turn to reciprocate by doing the same, otherwise this conversation will not move forward as it should."
God, she didn't have to hear that, and she thought she should've just answered his question immediately...then again, she wouldn't have heard the drone.
Still, she gave it less than a minute before he'll give out his 'That's-not-gonna-interest-me-at-all' speech.
She began to talk. She talked about waking up with a hangover after partying with her girl friends the night before. She talked about coming to work late and having her manager snapping at her heels at every possible moment. She talked about the tray of plates which decided to follow the rules of gravity than her own attempts at balance. About the toddler who threw up on her apron. The guy who grabbed her butt. Her manager's yells when she'd snapped at that guy. The extra hours she had to spend cleaning up as punishment.
Without knowing it, she had related her entire day to Sheldon, including the traffic ticket she'd gotten for speeding shortly before picking him up at Caltech.
"I can never understand why you choose to accelerate. Not only does it increase your chances of accident, it also increases your chances at being noticed by an officer of the law. In this scenario, the latter has proven itself correct."
"Boy, you really know how to make a girl feel better," Penny grumbled, and paused. She hadn't realized until then, that Sheldon had been replying to her, and not just about the traffic ticket. Granted he could've used a little more tact, but he'd been responsive and interested.
Weird.
"I sense sarcasm," Sheldon declared, a finger pointed at her, "but I also detect something in your tone to indicate your stress level has gone down."
"I suppose," Penny shrugged. She had to admit, she was feeling much better. "I guess I just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening, Sheldon."
"You're welcome, Penny." Sheldon beamed his self-satisfied smile, and Penny snorted. He always enjoyed being right, the whackadoodle, but in a sense, she took it as that he enjoyed helping. The way he seemed to enjoy explaining to her about anything and everything she could care less about. Like the know-it-all every kid in the block hated.
Still, Penny thought it was rather cute. Now if only that kid didn't have the adult body of Sheldon Cooper, it wouldn't be so weird and annoying sometimes. But that was what made Sheldon Sheldon. His child-like innocence was eandering...
"Did you happen to engage in coitus last night with some random steriod-infused and testosterone-addled male?"
Penny winced. So much for endearing innocence. "Sweetie, we already talked about this. It is not appropriate to mention my sex life in public."
"But did you?"
Penny stared at Sheldon. The look on his face sent a thousand questions springing from her head but she knew she wouldn't get the chance to ask them if she didn't answer him first. "No, I didn't."
"Good," he said, and went back to eating his cobbler.
"Good?" Penny mimmicked after she had re-hinged her jaw, then lowered her voice. "Good that I hadn't gotten laid in nearly six months?"
She waited for Sheldon to respond, but when he didn't, she gave him a nudge with her foot.
"What?"
"I was asking you a question."
"You did, but I thought we were not supposed to mention your sex life in public."
"Then why the hell did you ask me if I had sex last night?"
Plates and glasses clinked. It was then that Penny realized she had said it a little too loudly, and she began wishing she could shrink in her seat and avoid all the eyes around her.
"If you must know why I asked..." Sheldon said after a time, "...it's because past experiences have told me that your nights of alcoholic beverages are usually accompanied by coitus. You mentioned earlier about drinking, so I simply assumed."
"Uh-huh. And what was good about my NOT having sex last night?"
Sheldon's spoonful of cobbler stopped half-way through his mouth. "Did I say that?"
"Yeah. You did."
"Huh." Sheldon put set his spoon down and stared at her. She stared back, and thought this was getting very disturbing. Normally, she could read Sheldon...but it seemed with the faraway look in his eyes, he couldn't even read himself.
And why were those eyes so damn blue today?
"Penny, you really have to be more careful with the way you eat." Sheldon pointed at her face. "You have chocolate at the corner of your lip."
Penny rolled her eyes. The only time Sheldon seemed to act like an adult was when it came to cleanliness. She started to reach for her napkin when he suddenly stretched his arm across the table and wiped the smudge off her lip.
If that wasn't shocking enough, then the way he later sucked the chocolate off his thumb while keeping his eyes locked on hers certainly was, and Penny felt her breath hitch.
Sheldon turned back to his cobbler. It wasn't until his third spoon that Penny found her voice again. "Sheldon...did you just..."
He looked at her again, and this time, his eyes were clear. Not smoldering like before. And he looked genuinely confused. "Did I just what?"
"You...Never mind," Penny muttered and went back to eating. Of course he wouldn't know. Sheldon Cooper wasn't the type to realize he'd just done something...sexy.
Holy crap on a cracker. She'd just used Sheldon and sexy in one sentence!
Then, Penny remembered...and wished she hadn't, because after a few minutes, it was all she could think of: The bulge she'd seen in Sheldon's pants the day before.
No, that wasn't an erection, Penny thought furiously. It was just the way his pants creased when he sat, or maybe the shadows, or her tired eyes playing tricks on her. Besides, why the hell would Sheldon even have a hard on? Still, it was an impressive bulge, and...
She shook her head and polished off the rest of her warm brownie cup. You know you haven't had sex for a while when your train of thoughts included erection and Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
A/N: Yup, had to post the brownie cup right there. :D This was when my cousin and I went to La Marea back in April.
I'm just gonna stop here for now. I've been working on other chapter outlines and I'm having so much fun, I think this may be a longer fic than I'd originally thought. Oh, and I may be extremely busy. I'm attending my first cosplay event (it's an interschool competition) and I'm gonna be going as Death Note's Amane Misa. Too bad I can't find any blond wigs where I'm at, but I have temp hair color in a can, so that'll do. And wish me luck because I'll also be singing in the JPop Idol contest. I've been practicing "Why" by Ayaka, the theme song from Final Fantasy Crisis Core.
Man this is gonna be a very fun week! Wheeee!
Next Chapters:
Chapter 4 // Chapter 5