Journal Entry #12 [Stiles, gen]
Author: espressopotluck
Title: Journal Entry #12
Rating: PG
Pairing/s: none
Character/s: Stiles; mentions of other cast
Summary: Stiles' [assigned, required] journal is more honest than he ever could be out loud.
Warnings: a bit of language
Word Count: 488
Prompt: #13- Pretending
Author's Notes: Working with voices.
Here's the thing: high school is all about pretending. Pretending to be cool, pretending to be confident, pretending to have done that Chemistry homework - yeah, and I know you didn't do it, kid sitting next to me, and your furtive glances at my own completed homework are not nearly as subtle as you think they are. And that's all well and good, because we all do it, and I guess it's expected, but when you add other things on top... well.
See, take Scott for example. Scott's been my best friend since elementary school, and I know him like a brother, and he was absolutely shit at pretending. I mean, really terrible. Like the time he broke the back window at my house and tried telling my dad that the neighbor's dog had done it, he was just really, really bad.
And then this year happened, and suddenly, he's keeping secrets. Not from me, usually, but there have been times - and definitely from everyone else. Suddenly, he's good at it. I'd chalk it up to him finally figuring out subterfuge (there's a pre-SAT word for you), but the real thing is, I think it's born out of a necessity to survive.
If it wasn't just him, I wouldn't believe it. I'd definitely write it off as just Scott, just him finally growing up past his 1o-year-old emotional maturity level, but it's everyone else, too. Just look at the people around me.
Allison pretends she isn't still completely reeling from the loss of her mom. She plays it straight and tough, and her method of pretending usually involves a pointy weapon, so people are pretty keen to believe it, but there are cracks if you look close enough.
And Lydia - well, Lydia has always been good at pretending, hasn't she? She has more hidden layers than one of those crappy 7-layer cakes that Scott's great-aunt used to bring to his family reunions.
Jackson pretended to be confident. Erica pretended to be over the things our classmates used to say to her. Isaac still pretends like he belongs, when it's written all over his body language that he knows he doesn't. Derek pretends not to be completely in over his head and terrified - and maybe the others haven't figured it out, but I have.
Because that's the real catch, isn't it? The real point of this mess. You wanted a journal entry, Ms. Morell, and you told me I couldn't play it off stupid, so here it is - I'm the best pretender out of all of them, because none of them have figured me out.
I wake up every day pretending that I'm not struggling to stay afloat, to keep breathing - pretending that my head isn't being pulled down under the surf, pretending like I can somehow keep myself above the waves when everything is slowly, steadily, dragging me down.
Title: Journal Entry #12
Rating: PG
Pairing/s: none
Character/s: Stiles; mentions of other cast
Summary: Stiles' [assigned, required] journal is more honest than he ever could be out loud.
Warnings: a bit of language
Word Count: 488
Prompt: #13- Pretending
Author's Notes: Working with voices.
Here's the thing: high school is all about pretending. Pretending to be cool, pretending to be confident, pretending to have done that Chemistry homework - yeah, and I know you didn't do it, kid sitting next to me, and your furtive glances at my own completed homework are not nearly as subtle as you think they are. And that's all well and good, because we all do it, and I guess it's expected, but when you add other things on top... well.
See, take Scott for example. Scott's been my best friend since elementary school, and I know him like a brother, and he was absolutely shit at pretending. I mean, really terrible. Like the time he broke the back window at my house and tried telling my dad that the neighbor's dog had done it, he was just really, really bad.
And then this year happened, and suddenly, he's keeping secrets. Not from me, usually, but there have been times - and definitely from everyone else. Suddenly, he's good at it. I'd chalk it up to him finally figuring out subterfuge (there's a pre-SAT word for you), but the real thing is, I think it's born out of a necessity to survive.
If it wasn't just him, I wouldn't believe it. I'd definitely write it off as just Scott, just him finally growing up past his 1o-year-old emotional maturity level, but it's everyone else, too. Just look at the people around me.
Allison pretends she isn't still completely reeling from the loss of her mom. She plays it straight and tough, and her method of pretending usually involves a pointy weapon, so people are pretty keen to believe it, but there are cracks if you look close enough.
And Lydia - well, Lydia has always been good at pretending, hasn't she? She has more hidden layers than one of those crappy 7-layer cakes that Scott's great-aunt used to bring to his family reunions.
Jackson pretended to be confident. Erica pretended to be over the things our classmates used to say to her. Isaac still pretends like he belongs, when it's written all over his body language that he knows he doesn't. Derek pretends not to be completely in over his head and terrified - and maybe the others haven't figured it out, but I have.
Because that's the real catch, isn't it? The real point of this mess. You wanted a journal entry, Ms. Morell, and you told me I couldn't play it off stupid, so here it is - I'm the best pretender out of all of them, because none of them have figured me out.
I wake up every day pretending that I'm not struggling to stay afloat, to keep breathing - pretending that my head isn't being pulled down under the surf, pretending like I can somehow keep myself above the waves when everything is slowly, steadily, dragging me down.