Parenting and sexism

Jul 27, 2010 15:34

I think the thoughts I'm about to express are at least partially created by working for a family with two dads for the last 5 years ( Read more... )

society, parenting

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Comments 22

dragonblink July 27 2010, 21:24:53 UTC
One time I was at Target and I saw a display of children's cold/flu products, under a big sign that said something like "Everything a mom needs". Because apparently when a kid is sick, a dad's job is to tell them to suck it up and stop whining? I was pretty offended.

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fulguritus July 27 2010, 21:56:51 UTC
I'm glad you were offended. it's offensive!

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chemikal August 7 2010, 16:42:51 UTC
Offensive to the child who has to hear "Suck it up and stop whining", lol.

Though for me it was mom who delivered both the medicine and the commentary. Dad was always working his arse off out of town to support us - so the roles definitely got weighted to one side a bit.

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evilbobrex July 27 2010, 21:48:27 UTC
the arguments this will ferment should be funny.

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fulguritus July 28 2010, 04:09:22 UTC
I doubt there will be arguments really.

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evilbobrex July 28 2010, 14:35:28 UTC
the levels of feminist/sexist/chauvinism inherent in this and it's not going to set anyone off?

I guess I'm too used to the picture journal where everyone gets pissed about everything.
I'm surprised that I and the other guy who found it pretty aren't getting flamed for the picture of those girls.

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fulguritus July 28 2010, 18:44:06 UTC
My friends in this journal are mostly of like-mind.

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dreadfulred July 27 2010, 21:49:26 UTC
as i think everyone who knows Trevor and I knows he is the maternal one and can hardly wait to become a mommy. Why does the term Mom have to mean a woman? Hell, I would not be opposed to being called "Dad" if he wants to be "Mom."

But yeah, popular gender roles suck. People are too scared to accept what's happening around them. I don't blame people for not pushing them though. It's hard to be different. People could loose jobs or credibility or friends without hardly trying. People would rather find a way to live in the safety of their predefined bubble than risk it. People are cruel.

Also, I think the marketing of Mommy and me crap is because enough moms buy it.

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fulguritus July 27 2010, 21:58:12 UTC
People are cruel. So true.

Yeah, moms buy it. But I'd bet dads would buy daddy and me stuff. Proudly even.

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aesiria July 28 2010, 03:36:49 UTC
So, I'm not saying it's right, but moms still do a disproportionate percentage of the shopping and and more likely to be stay-at home parents. That's changing, of course, but if 7/10 purchasers are women parents, that's who about 9 out of 10 companies will market to. Then the other 10% will see a niche, market towards it, and people will be calling them a genius a few years later.

I mean, funny (old spice) & demeaning (axe) commercials aside, there has been a half aisle full of vanilla, lavender & other girlie body washes around for decades (as well as lotions, face products, etc) and it's pretty recent that they decided to make some manly beauty products.

More companies should market to dads. It's the right thing to do, and it would probably make someone a bunch of money.

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fulguritus July 28 2010, 04:09:48 UTC
Yep. And yep.

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lihan161051 July 27 2010, 22:15:42 UTC
There's kind of a default perception that men are all about the macho incompetently-independent cluelessness and would sooner die than be caught showing any kind of desire to be nurturing or sensitive. And there are a lot of men who subscribe to that perception of themselves and do their best to live up to it, careful to never appear too smart or too caring or show too much empathy lest they be outed as .. well, your effeminate pejorative of choice. The geek men escape that somewhat, although they're perceived as already somewhat marginalized and way too smart to be trusted with real-men activities ( ... )

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lihan161051 July 27 2010, 22:27:03 UTC
Did I mention my amusement when the people who make Ranch Style Beans changed the labelling of their cans from "Husband Pleasin'" to "Appetite Pleasin'", I think. The picture on the original label was an almost iconic caricature of Idiot Husband Guy, who looked more or less like Bob Dobbs without the pipe. It changed about a week before I got fed up enough with it to complain to the manufacturer.

Sexism cuts both ways. It's a Procrustean bed of arbitrary gender roles that none of us really fit that well, that tries to stretch us or cut us down to fit the standard. It's not good for anyone.

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fulguritus July 28 2010, 04:12:56 UTC
Amen yo.

Which is why I enjoy the fact that my charges have two dads and a gender bent nanny. ;)

One of the reasons we aren't finding out the sex is that we don't want gender specific toys, clothes, kid's stuff at all. We're asking for earth tones. I haaaaate pastels. Pink and light blue in particular. We'll get enough of that crap AFTER we have our gender determined child.

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scorpionis July 28 2010, 19:52:30 UTC
You'll get 'em no matter what the sex is. I even put "NO PINK!" on my baby shower invitations, and I *still* got a bunch of frilly pink crap for Zoe. Just smile, say thank you, and take them go Goodwill when you get home.

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fulguritus July 29 2010, 02:30:23 UTC
If they don't know the sex, I can't imagine why I'd get pink. Just in case?
I'm hoping people will actually get me earth toned stuff. Or white, or more preferable, black.

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